I dropped my kid off at preschool and went my way home.

She's 2 so I transport her on a stroller.

While coming back, I came across an old lady sweeping the sidewalk of her house, and it got narrow to pass through because there was a tree next to her.

I carefully slowed down as to not collide with her, and while going through, we noticed each other.

I did a tiny smile as a way of saying "hi" like I usually do to people on the street.

To which she gave back the most innocent and sweet smile I've ever seen a stranger give on the street.

I could honestly feel my heart crack as it happened.

I guess the stroller must have caused her sympathy thus that reaction.

(which is why I like going around with the stroller, because people tend to treat you nicely which feels nice, like butterflies)

I know it might seem like an ordinary story without a punchline, but let me explain that I walk this city everyday.

And even though the people here is very nice compared to other cities I've lived in, it is very rare to get smiled at with such joy.

You might still think that is not a good story. But I can explain its relevance.

As some of you know, I post triggering content on this account, closeted parts of me that I normally hide,

Such as sexual stuff, some people think I'm a degenerate but I like to think I just have normal sexual thoughts that don't affect others in real life AT ALL.

And I'm also very argumentative, again, some people might see it as troll behaviour. On my side though, I just don't like bullshit and call it out when I see it.

But with this post, I'm not trying to be more likable or negate all the weird shit I said. This post is just another closeted part of me, being emotional.

And the reason I hide that is because it is not generally well accepted when a man is sensitive, at least where I'm from.

For example, if a female friend at work had a nice haircut, sometimes I feel the urge to be like "omg girl you look so prettyyyy!!!!".

But if I did that I know what will happen based on DIRECT experience: people will assume I'm gay or weak, and will make fun of that.
Or the actual friend will think I'm hitting on her.

No, fucking thank you, not having that shit.

But even if people accepted that, they just can't conceive I'm also very direct and honest, so when they do get to know me better, they get shocked.

So what do I do? I just hide that. That might change in the future, but I don't have the energy right now to deal with some people's simplemindedness.

I'm not making any sort of political statement, like "people should be treat me correctly or else get fired because of offending my gender".

But I'm not gonna lie, it would feel very nice if I was around more progressive people. I wished I had just just standard male behaviour and thoughts.

I guess some people in progressive cities are more accepting of the whole gender fluid thing, so I wished I lived in one (let me clarify though, I'm not a mindless gender fanatic).

I'm also not perfect and sometimes the line between "I love your haircut" and "I'm into you" blurs the fuck out, so that's on me... I don't know if it's something I can change though...

Hopefully all this shit I'm saying doesn't make me look like a lunatic. Veeeery hopefully.

Though, If you think for real I'm a lunatic or bad person, you can suck donkey dick.

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    (I wanted to clarify that if such friend I mentioned thought I was hitting on her, I wouldn't be angry at her at all, it's a possible natural reaction, i would be angry at the other shit I mentioned

    still, it is something I would want to avoid since I'm monogamous)
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    @norman70688 I'm basically writing stephen king level twists here...
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    Well people are different but I am also spotting that old people are more polite then young.
    Might be age or different education.
    I personally live in post communistic country and old people got literally nothing when they were growing up.

    Young got all. I touched communism and only barely remember when there was nothing to eat or buy in shop.

    Now there is lots of technology that doesn’t help to be human when it’s easier to be asshole and from my point of view human is less important then ever, especially in corporations.

    The best is find and hang out with those people that you feel comfortable and look if they feel comfortable while being with you. How to do it ?
    Try and fail couple of times.
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    @vane interesting point, but it is my understanding that people was even less understanding of femininity in men in the past.

    Maybe you're right and I should try and fail a couple of times...
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    @jesustricks well that’s the point of life, fail and learn. The sooner you realize that the easier the life will be.

    One can never leave city cause he’s scared of some imaginary problems.
    Other are scared talking to people cause they can be rejected or got beaten.

    Know your demons and fight them so you can become friends in future.

    Positive attitude help, as someone said:
    Don’t take life to seriously, you will never get out of it alive.
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    @Alice huh, thanks, it makes sense now

    @vane, that's an awesome quote, thanks
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    @norman70688 on a serious note though, I don't know why would you think I hate everyone. I don't. I just believe in the motto "be an asshole to the asshole"
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    @norman70688 wow, what an empty statement, comment of the YEAR!
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    @norman70688 oh I'm sorry, I thought you were being sarcastic.

    your first comment read "...everything and everyone hating belligerent burst". I thought you meant me.

    In any case, I would award you with a juicy black booty, but I don't have one, this is just my fake profile image.
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    "honestly who the hell cares what preferences you have if you're not forcing them on us" - the proper opinion
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    You are black.
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    @aviophile that is factually incorrect
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    @Nanos thank you, your comment makes me feel supported
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