I've never found a perfect video until now.

Meeting with asshole partner company CEO at restaurant.

Me: "I'm a bit worried about the bugs in your API. There are some ways to retrieve privacy sensitive info from public endpoints"

CEO: "Well, we're a rapidly growing startup!"

Me: "Uh... so?"

CEO: "So... Move Fast and Break Things! Priority is to improve our API further, and we'll fix bugs as they show up"

Me: "Maybe you should stop trying to emulate Zuckerberg in your management style. You know that even Facebook themselves admitted that their slogan was a retarded mistake"

Waiter shows up at table. CEO orders some overly expensive fish salad.

CEO: "Well, they have done something right... they're worth billions"

Waiter asks me: "And you sir, have you made your choice?"

Me: "Do you serve popcorn?"

CEO: "Popcorn for lunch?"

Me: "No, for your congressional hearing"

Last month: Opening devrant
Facebook, Mark Zuckerberg, FUCK FACEBOOK, ZUCKED ME, KILL MARKBOOK, ATTACK FACEBERG

Last week: Opening devrant
GDRP, GDRP, GGEEDDEERRPPPEEEEE, FUCK GDRP, YEEEY GDRP, WHY GDRP, UPDATED OUR GDRP, FUCKED MY GDRP, PEED IN MY GDRP

this week: Opening devrant
Microsoft, Github, NO Microshit, Burn Github, FUCK GITHUB, POO ON MY MICROHUB, VOMITED ON MY GITSOFT

next week:????
(Google, you better be ready, it's your turn)

Absolutely!

Treat your employees right...

IDE war!!

Mother of god, was listening to the US govt hearing of zuckerberg about the recent scandals. The amount of very fucking simple obvious questions he 'could not' answer normally...

Govt person: Would you be willing to change Facebook's business model if this was required for the security and privacy of Facebook users' accounts?

Zuck: I don't understand your question.

Sorry, WHAT?! You don't need particular rocket science to understand what's being asked here. A combination of common sense and knowing the English language and English grammar in combination with maybe having finished some form of education should be enough to understand this ridiculously easy question.

Do you need it written on a golden plate with fucking blue letters in Facebook's font with the S letters as dollar signs while drinking 10 gallons of 'fuck every persons privacy'?!

Or maybe shoving it up your ass in the form of heated/glowing metal letters of 10+ inches in height? We could arrange that as well.

Mark Zuckerberg 😂

Credit to code boom on ig😂👍

Martin Luther King

!dev related but is a rant

I don't think that either Mark Zuckerberg nor Elon Musk are experts on AI but I'd agree more with Musk than Zuckerberg.

Zuckerberg made a website, that's not rocket science.
Musk made a reusable rocket, that is rocket science.

"Mark Zuckerberg understanding on AI is limited" @elonmusk

If you don't pay for a product, you ARE the product.

The Big difference between devRant and Facebook?
Facebook -> Everybody hate Zuckerberg
DevRant -> Everybody love dfox

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

When Zuckerberg says "Move fast and break things", it's "innovative" and he is an "entrepreneur", but when I "move fast and break things" it's "reckless driving" and I'm "causing car accidents"...

Mark Zuckerberg is the only person using facebook story😂😂

Next Question plzz😁😀😀

ɴᴏᴡ ᴘʟᴀʏɪɴɢ: devRant Podcast #3 (Feat: Mark Zuckerberg)
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A world leader...? What a bunch of horseshit... Learn from CNN how to put the wrong guy on the pedestal...

Zuckerberg: "We released a dating feature with security and privacy in mind" 😂

What if mark Zuckerberg buys Signal app ?

He is looking at you all the time

So ... Facebook somehow found out I used a 'fake' rear name and forced me to switch it back ...

So now they can again sell my data, and I am again haunted by stupid ads I don't want ...

Fucking Zuckerberg!!!!

I just watched The Social Network and I'm so depressed that I'm through quarter of my life and haven't done anything significant yet.....😭😭

See, the problem with University students beginning programming is that they think that they're the hottest shit just because they know how to open cmd.exe. Since I'm a mentor, I have to give them pro tips while helping them through problems. I can't count the amount of times I've repeated "solve the problem on a notebook, write down how you should approach it before you begin typing your code, otherwise you'll end up spending more time debugging." They don't like to listen, cuz they're the next Zuckerberg. The following day I get a bunch of emails asking why their code doesn't work.

With the recent mark zuckerberg hearing, a ton of websites have actually changed their privacy policies and terms of service, to be much more transparent, so it did have a good impact, but the thought that it took that, to implement those changes is infuriating

Mark Zuckerberg gets fistet from US Senate.
Im watching live from Germany. N-tv.

When I go to bed, I power off my laptop instead of just closing the lid. I don't bring my phone with me. I don't have a smartwatch. I sleep with no electronic devices with me.

Anyone can solve a lot of their problems by conversing with themselves one on one. Instead, they prefer a feed algorithm taking away their pain. But the nature of pain-relieving addictions is that they always intensify the pain in the long run.

Listen to yourself. Speak to yourself quietly, one on one, without mark zuckerberg in your room listening to your every word. The overwhelming pain will be no more after mere minutes. Only then can you be free.

So I know most of you got some kind of hate for Facebook and Zuckerberg (aka Z U C C) now, but ffs, watching some of the highlights of this congress-thing that went on makes me more or less feel sympathy for him and his idea, even tho I know he wants to achieve exactly this.

Some of the questions asked can suck a big fucken data-dick. "How many Facebook Like-Buttons are there on Non-Facebook pages?", "How many data-categories do you gather?", "How do you sustain a business model and stay free?" - DUDE WHAT IN HEAVENS NAME?? And they ask that shit so serious and so "now-i'm-going-to-bust-you"-esk, but actually the question is just plain stupid and shows how the questioning side has no clue about the shit.

My point of view is that people decided to have an online life and have to take what it does. Having a smartphone with a Facebook service installed (owning an account or not) is enough to track your location, stored under your IMEI or some shit like that. They may not even go that far but that's just my opinion.
If you are online everything can see you and use you that way. Borders are a fictious thing. A dude in Czechia can easily shoot you when you're on the German side of the border between those two countries. And still we gave up on walls...:p

Welcome to a world which is ruled by dumbass people where nerds who just want to have some fun need to defend themselves because the people up there don't know a single shit.

FUCK THIS FACEBOOK ASSHOLES FOR GIVING MY NUMBER TO A CLIENT. FUCK YOU ASSHOLES. I DON'T SIGNED UP FOR GIVING OUT MY NUMBER TO EVERYONE .I HOPE YOUR COMPANY LOSE ALL THEIR ASSETS AND MARK ZUCKERBERG GO BANKRUPT .... FUCK YOU ...

Stole this from my friend's status

Browser Toolbar is greater than life. Third party apps are dangerous.

Just to be clear:
I don't hate Zuckerberg,
I hate Facebook.
Always respect a guy who can put money together like it's a python list compression.

"I know that we don't exactly have the strongest reputation on privacy right now to put it lightly "
- Mark Zuckerberg @ F8

Hilarious

Feels pretty dann good. Had it deactivated for the past few months, and finally pulled the plug.

All right, I am not one to criticize people based on their looks but I will make an exception. Mark Zuckerberg er one weird and extremely untrustworthy looking human.

Maybe it's preconception, maybe not.

Warning: long rant

I'm sick and tired of feeling like I'm the only person who cares about their privacy

I try, as much as I can, to avoid surveillance. I use firefox, protonmail, duckduckgo, e2e encrypted chat platforms, avoid social media like the plague, and do everything I can to block facebook and google trackers on websites I visit

And it's exhausting

Each search I make means I waste another 30 seconds because duckduckgo doesn't pull the answer directly from webpages like google does

I get weird looks when I give people a @protonmail email address, and I have to explain what it is to them every fucking time

People ask if I have social media, and I either give them nothing or my Github account

And for what? Nobody else cares, no matter how much I explain how toxic google and facebook are to society.

They just say 'I have nothing to hide' as they scroll Instagram, letting Zuckerberg build an intimately detailed profile on them.

They just say 'so what' as they google memes from their chrome browser, allowing google to share that information with god-knows-who

If everyone else has given up their privacy for convenience, why am I still fighting a losing battle?

It feels like I'm fighting a war against big tech by myself, and I'm tired and about to lay down my arms

So I was watching Adam Savage’s Tested on Youtube about VR prototypes and I finally found out who Zuckerberg reminded me the most.

Yea, I'm sure Zuka-duche is gonna get right on that. 😂😂

W t f😂😂😂

I just found this on insta.

Seeing Mark Zuckerberg multibillionarie. I am poor af (Still student btw). Also looking Linux kernel at GitHub.

poor Mark 😅😅😂😂

Enjoy — a portrait of mark zuckerberg painted with feces.

So Zuckerberg wants to integrate Whatsapp, Instagram and Facebook together.

Maybe this is his desperate attempt to make people to not ignore his own creation - facebook.

I just hope this integration is optional and won't be forced.

Copy cat bandit strikes again!!

Can he EVER come up with anything original?? Yo Zuck, what's going on with that TilTok clone of yours? What's it called...."Lasso" ? 😑

I love how different figures in tech got really different reputations.

Take Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg. We all love Elon.

What did they do different? What did they do wrong?

Get well soon facebook

Mark Zuckerberg probably still has profile ID 1

As I read this headline, all I could imagine was Mark Zuckerberg stood by an office scanner literally scanning each individual image or text that were printed on separate pieces of paper

Warning: This is gonna come across as a little cringe/self-pitying, but whatever

Jesus Christ I'm so fucking lonely it literally hurts. I know I should be grateful I have a hobby in coding, also recently I got my first job as a developer (even if I'm overworked and paid shit all with poor job security), but I swear what will eventually kill me will be my own hand cos this empty feeling is unbearable at times.

Also, I'll try to ask this in the most politically correct way possible: how do you single guys in your 20s/30s cope with the lack of females in the industry? I absolutely do not mean this in a "making-unwarranted-advances" sort of way; I just mean that we're biologically wired to desire some form of interaction with the opposite sex (unless you're queer), and this happens naturally in most professions but obviously not engineering/software dev. It's especially difficult when you don't have a big social circle so your job basically becomes your life.

So... For those of you who can relate, what do you do? Do you make an effort to socialize outside work? Or maybe you're lucky enough to work somewhere with a diverse mix of people? Should I blame Zuckerberg for damaging my adolescent brain and turning me into a needy piece of crap?

The last highway zucc meme.

Zuckerberg? Is that you?

"If users don't have to pay, how does facebook runs it service then?"
- US Senator at Zuckerberg questoning, 2018

Nice job, Zuckerberg

Me:- Facebook is bad , its collecting out data.
Friend:- So what let them collect our data.

le Mark Zuckerberg in the corner cashes in 💸

Friend:- As long as I get my free stuff everything's all right.

le Mark Zuckerberg comes to know he is an adopted 👶🏻 and earns more 💸

If Zuck hadn't made Facebook then, the world might have been different today

How Mark Zuckerberg tells Bill Gates that his company is retarded.
.
Whatsapp works with M$ Edge 13+
DOWNLOAD THE LATEST VERSION OF WINDOWS 10 or use Google Chrome, Firefox... 😂😂😂 -- No. you can't just download M$ Efge 13+ it won't work

Child to Mark Zuckerberg: My dad is saying that you are spying on us.

Mark Zuckerberg: he is not your dad

devRant > Facebook

dfox & trogus > Zuckerberg

It's my birthday today, but tbh ,I feel like a loser after not having accomplished much till this age (21).

I mean , Zuckerberg founded Facebook at 19 😞 and here I am, 2 years older than what he was and still seem to be going nowhere 😕

Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg broke several days of silence in the face of a raging privacy storm to go on CNN this week to say he was sorry. He also admitted the company had made mistakes; said it had breached the trust of users; and said he regretted not telling Facebookers at the time their information had been misappropriated.
From techcrunch article.

Need confirmation:
A friend message me (this) saying that “it came from Mark Zuckerberg himself and facebook will...” blah blah and then another friend asked me if this is for real.
Let me know your thoughts on this, because I’m not really sure if I should resend it as well

I’m shocked, some of the hideously embarrassing questions these dim mother fucking senators have been asking Zuckerberg. Is this for real?

I fucking hate Google, but made the decision to use it as my primary search engine once again.

Reality dictates that I have already adopted it for well over a decade via searches since AllTheWeb existed along with owning enough Android devices to choke a twelve headed dragon whore.

But, here's the main reason: You.com and DuckDuckGo are so dumb as fuck, they might as well be Ron Jeremy's MySpace page.

You.com, for instance, is "completely customizable" by adding un-customizable "apps" without any control over the content it spews into your SERPS.

Neither seems to have interest in no longer padding results with shit you'd take a knife to. At least Google allows me to block those pages or sites from being seen again.

If you happen to live on Planet Earth (which currently seems to exclude 86.8% of the human population) you've been tracked before you even knew what "Big Brother" meant.

If you're looking to safeguard your security, buy a goddamn sword and time travel to remove the Zuckerberg timeline from existence.

How the fuck does that retard Zuckerberg manage to spend this much money on his metaverse and hardly have anything to show for? What are the developers actually working on? I mean, if you had that many people working that long on something you'd expect at least a product that looked all right, even if no one wanted to use it?!

I bet you could put a team of 20 top shelf developers, designers, QA and project managers together and give them 2 years to build almost anything we see today. A facebook clone, a Twitter clone, some sort of virtual reality look-at-my-perfect-but-empty-life-click-to-like piece of social shit-verse.. What the hell are they spending their time on?!!

I find it a bit ironic that even Mark Zuckerberg covers his laptop's webcam even though the data goes to him. :D

"Senator"
~ Zuckerberg, 2018

Whenever I feel down, I watch documentaries and movies related to tech. They bring back the motivation and spirit in me. :)

I don't know how many of you have faced this but fuck college student entrepreneurs!
Every one of these fuckers is all about the hustle and the grind which mainly involves them sitting on their ass and approaching me with ideas that they think will revolutionize the world
AND WHY'RE ALL YOUR IDEAS CENTERED AROUND SOCIAL NETWORKS? DO I LOOK LIKE FREAKIN ZUCKERBERG (I probably bombed the spelling but IDC)
I decided to work on a project (can't disclose any information cause the idiot had me sign a paper or some shit) and they gave me and 2 other devs a task of creating FUCKING ANGELLIST
look man, could be an easy task for your "business team" of 7 to give that task but do you really expect me to work with 2 loud mouthed freshmen who don't know shit and give you a finished product? I DONT THINK SO

I feel like with all this Facebook stuff we are gonna end up eventually getting The Social Network 2: The Zuckening

Fuck you facebook
Fuck you zuckerberg and your dumb support.

Your fuckin shitty platfoem became even more garbage. You ban accounts for no fuckin reason. People reporting accounts continuously for posts that are in a closed group that the first thing the group description declares that if you feel offended you should just leave and the posr are jokes.

And fuck your support too for not fuckin being helpful while you explain to them that you are targered.

Fuck you, seriously, people can’t even take a joke and you fuckin support them.

I hope your trash platform dies.

Height of making fake profile.
Few days back, I got connection request from Mark Zuckerberg. When I check profile it was having 23 connections !

I think it was okay till you make fake profile on Tinder but making fake profile on LinkedIn ???

Share your experiences below ...

What's worse than being your family's printer support? Questions about how to use Instagram. 🤢😠😡 Fuck Marc Suckerberg and his shitty antisocial media apps!

Zuckkkk...

Family: oh you're studying computer science? That's awesome! Have you heard of Mark Zuckerberg?

Me: Of course!

Family: yeah when are you coming out with the next Facebook? We'd like to be rich now!

Me: 🙃🙃🙃🙃

Facebook phasing out old instagram API made my life so much more fun. Now, to get a feed OW MY OWN ACCOUNT'S POSTS that I could filter by tags I need to go through two layers of authorisation - and then still go through ridiculous hops to get those goddamn tag lists. JESUS CHRIST. I hate Zuckerberg and I wish him a rusty guillotine when the time will come.

I wonder if Zuckerberg has a zebra for a pet...

Cambria
Libra

Recently, I launched a website to practice and perfect a lightweight Larval CMS that is forcing me to learn Databases and good sanitization practices.

Trolling Zuckerberg's Facebook for Images to make potential MeMes, I can't help but notice he has quite a ridiculous and unrealistic amount of instances in which he seems to be talking to military and government officials.

Figured I'd use the old humor as a weapon to shed light upon this.

Saw a good privacy movie on Netflix last night. It's called "Terms and Conditions May Apply", it's from 2013. Like most good documentaries I felt bad about myself afterward. Oh yeah, he grills Zuckerberg pretty good out of nowhere. That was funny.

I just saw a marketer announcing a new partnership between their entertainment service and Facebook. Mouthbarfed a little. Then two posts below was an actual ad marketing for Facebook.

The comments were filled with cynical disgust and personal attacks on Mark Zuckerberg. This is probably the best moment I've ever experienced on LinkedIn. Let's hope his new partnership goes great.

Setting swipe refresh on back button of phone is the evilest thing done by Facebook till now.

Zuckerberg

Why do you even mee mee?

Moot Zuckerberg created ifunny to be the best subreddit on gentoo

Have you ever tried to read your Facebook chat history all the way back when you were younger? What a horrible person I were! Those embarrassing teenage messages! There are things not worth remembering and it sucks that Facebook documented all the detail in your life and you can't do something about it on the other end.

"This is part of our mission to connect the world"

is there really a shortage of developers?
according to short movie by code.org featuring all the code stars like Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates says world needs developers and everyone should learn to code.

even Obama said that too.

but here, I am fucking trying to get a web design project on freelancer from last 45 days and I can't.

please check my profile on GitHub if you think that problem is in me.(suggestions are welcomed)

Mark Zuckerberg

Mark Zuckerberg is stupid , he bought whatsApp for millions and I downloaded it for free from playstore.