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My thoughts on programming:
As a child:
It is 100% magic
As a developer:
It is 65% if/else statements, 34% iterating an array, 1% actual amazing and unique code17 -
A coworker was working on some code and wrote two return statements and asked a senior developer why the second value wasn't being returned.7
-
I'm an experienced developer, in my facebook I liked all the pages about programming languages and developing, but Facebook keeps advertising me "the book to learn how to code in 24 hours" or "the tutorial to build a website without paying a developer" or the one in the image below.
What the fuck facebook? Are you trying to say I'm useless?
20 -
You realize that you are a developer when you can't stop thinking about a bug that has been messing your code.
-
What if we developerized our proverbs?
1. A bad developer blames his tools.
2. Code speaks louder than comments.
3. Birds of a text editor flock together.51 -
Reading your code from years back is one of the most painful experiences a developer has to go through.5
-
Worst bad practice..
Manager: I need code today
Developer (thinking) : let me give it without unit test. Anyways tester will test it.
Manager to tester: complete testing fast.
Tester(thinking): developer must have unit tested it. Let me skip it.
Enjoy testing completed.
God help clients.. 😊5 -
DevRant is cool, mostly because we are united. We don't agree on OS, language, theme, or tabs. But we are united by code. Next time you want to troll someone, think about why you became a developer. To Code.7
-
Senior C++ developer:
"Writing a custom encryption algorithm from scratch for our communications platform? Every developer knows that is an absolute no go, cryptography should be left to cryptography veterans!"
Same guy, year later:
"Blockchains? Hold my espresso, I can totally write a whitepaper on cryptography, write some shitty code with nice branding, and get millions from an ICO"1 -
At least, it was honest comment by developer........
Have you ever encountered such funny statement/code ?
3 -
I was talking to a few young developers at a Uni today and asked them what areas they worked in/were interested in.
Everyone: (tells their work/ interest)
Mr. Genius : Backend developer.
Me: (Being a Backend developer myself felt interested) Which language do you code in?
Mr. Genius : Firebase
Never have I ever wanted to murder someone until this moment.2 -
That moment when you have a tight deadline, but your inner *developer dignity* won't let you write code that sucks.5
-
Lol, only two years ago I saw a new TV show in which a developer is waiting for his code to compile. Apparently not everyone is ahead of the curve!
4 -
I don't know why my position has to be labeled "developer", when in reality I ain't develop shit, all I do day after day is fixing legacy code7
-
Average linux developer: writes completely fast, optimized code that compiles the first time all via the terminal. He doesn't care.
Also average linux developer: decides to call it Winblows instead of Windows in an attempt to get more people to use linux. He feels like a genius.20 -
I just got called into my bosses office. Apparently I was too "direct" with one of my code reviews and now the other developer feels put down and demotivated. All I did was point out some areas of the code that could be cleaner and more efficient, if you can't handle that maybe you shouldn't be a developer. If you can't objectly look at your mistakes and learn from them you won't be very useful either.
I am not your mother, I don't care about your feelings!6 -
The rants I read here make me want to be a better developer. I started writing tests, linting code and ensuring 'quality code' because of the devrant community. Being a self taught developer, you never really have anyone to thank. But today I would like to appriciate you all for the rants, comments and advice that make us developers become better at our craft.2
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I'm going to an engagement party tonight and the dress code is "smart casual", but with no jeans.
Look I'm a developer and I'm used to making my own dress code. To me that's smart casual. So I'm coming to this party with jeans, chucks, and a star wars t-shirt.5 -
"Our last lead-developer was a real smart guy, he modernized the legacy code and we all learned a lot from him"
I need a beer, and a shotgun.
10 -
Being a developer means...
- Writing code
- Fixing bugs and issues
- Impromptu project manager to current project
- Making coffee
- Seeing unicorns
- Listening to the boss' suggestion that goes horribly wrong
- Contemplate10 -
OH MY GOSH SHUT THE CRAP UP. I AM NOT INTERESTED. I DON'T EVEN CODE JAVA.
I'm a JavaScript developer. And I don't respond to this spam. Ugh!!!!!
14 -
Are you a C# developer, and do you want to contribute to the devRant public api C# variant. This is your chance!
Fork the code and help the community project.
https://github.com/WichardRiezebos/...
7 -
How to be a great developer - 101
1. Write Code
2. scrap it
3. Rewrite in a better way..
Repeat! 😂
1 -
As an Android developer i keep on looking at every single app as if am going to write it again as code3
-
Fibonacci for developers.
One Developer writes bad code and leaves. Company hires two more to fix the code and cycle continues. Now you know why software developers are in demand.2 -
While debugging some java code by our Senior Architect, I found this gem: 5000 padding done manually.
PS: Jr Developer here.
7 -
Developer superstition, never say something is easy, fast or straightfoward.
It will take weeks to develop, months to test and debug and you will consider change jobs just to stay away of that code8 -
I didn’t realise that SQL Developer was actually secret code for data entry monkey.
I’m sick to the back teeth doing data entry work and not getting any actually fucking development to do7 -
**Overheard new intern struggling with git talking to lead developer
Intern: "I am having trouble with the git repo on my local machine, can you take a look?"
*** Looks at code for three seconds
Lead developer: "Yeah, I suggest you just delete and reclone the repo."7 -
Me (as a Senior developer): How will you solve this problem using regular expression?
Junior developer: *Explains*
Me: Good
Junior developer: I truly feel like a programmer when I code regular expressions
Me: Now, we have two problems.26 -
The time when i learned to turn on the developer options ; i felt the same as a developer who has compiled his code without a single error. 😂
3 -
Because of DevRant:
Now hiding..
.titanic {
Float: none;
}
Within all my company code files just to annoy my co-developer2 -
I explained my latest project to a non developer friend. I told him I'm almost done with the code, now I just need to debug and get it ready for production.
"Why don't you write code that doesn't have any bugs?"
"Holy shit! I never thought about that! Thank you so much, I'll make sure to write bug free code from now on".10 -
I love #VisualStudio.
See how visual studio really makes easy to analyze difference between two version of file. 😘😘
25 -
A colleague named Sam was really pissed off today at an out sourcing firm from India.
My Boss outsourced an application to India based firm. Sam was the one handling the project after the handover. Sam coded a feature 2 weeks ago and moved to staging server for approval. After the sign off from the lead developer of the outsourcing firm, he moved the feature to production. For the past 2 days the application was crashing over and over again so Sam went to check and found out that the feature he coded was causing the issue. When he pulled the feature to his computer and had a look at the code, it wasn’t his code. The code he wrote was commented out and the lead developer of the outsourcing firm wrote new code.
When Sam emailed to him regarding this he replied that he re-wrote his code to fix issues with the feature. Sam and outsourcing firm lead developer had heated argument about this. It’s turns out that the outsourcing developer re-wrote the code without anyone’s approval and on production server.
The lead developer of the outsourcing firm was fired.7 -
When a fellow developer gets angry that a large chunk of their code is being deleted because it's no longer needed.
Less is more.6 -
(applying to a developer position)
interviewer : So, do you like to code?
me : of course!
interviewer : Are you sure? because this is a developer position and women prefer something more administrative than coding.
me : Wow! nobody told me that before. If I had known I wouldn't have studied this.
didn't expect to be called back after that...7 -
Any frontend developer who can code backend system too?
Ps: this is just a meme please don't get serious, mates.
14 -
As a developer, I want to write clean code and I want managers that understand the importance of clean code. I don’t want to work with people who force me to deploy untested code because "we need this feature working today".9
-
I once encountered a developer who said "make your code obscure and only you can understand, so that they(company) will never let you go" bcoz you the only one can solve it. WhatTheFuck!?9
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Worst job I had as a developer:
Convert all Python2.7 code the team wrote for the last 5 years to Python3 alone.9 -
I dont like it when i have to edit an old code made by a previous developer, i dont want to touch that spaghet.
1 -
We have a developer position open in our APAC office.
Before I take phone interviews, we ask candidates to complete a preliminary code test.
I’ve just been sent an email with code attached in screenshots...
nope.8 -
Just received a job invitation for my first developer position. But I never wrote a line of code in my life. I guess my interviewer too.8
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Quited my job because I want to code and not project managing (instead of coding). Found a new job as front-end developer with opportunity to become a full stack dev.
-
I already told you that my boss is not a developer. So, when he tells me "that should be easy to code" I always get a little nervous.2
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I keep improving as a developer by:
Listening to podcasts
Reading books
Reading others code
And searching so😃
Learning learning. .always learning2 -
Just found this in our code:
UINT8 variableName = 500;
Any developer who is getting paid should know the largest value an unsigned 8 bit integer can hold12 -
We are taking over an Android application source code from an external company to continue development in-house...
I present to you floateger:
(one of many crimes the previous developer has commited)
15 -
Should a developer really have to be a jack of all trades? I write code, but at work I feel like I am always getting pulled into sysadmin debacles. I am not a sysadmin or an ops person. I am a developer, not a systems guy.
If you want me to be a systems guy, then train me to be one. You hired me to write code, not to troubleshoot shitty IBM Application Servers.8 -
(developer thing)
I am trying to build code from the last 4 or 4:30 hours at office and she message me
She : it's urgent.. call me
Me : me();
(THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID 🙄)4 -
I really love how beautiful code can be, and the feeling of creating something for others or yourself to enjoy. But I hate being the family's IT guy... I'm a developer not IT support.4
-
<rant>
Freelance employers should learn that a "full stack" developer does not equal "fully proficient and experienced in everything code and comp. related". ESPECIALLY if the job pays less than 6£ an hour.
</rant>5 -
I realized how overly complicated I wrote certain object oriented code a few months ago and now I have to work around it...
I over engineered it... I became the very developer I hate5 -
"A good software developer writes good code. Better software developer deletes bad code."
Me, after using Generic types in some source code and deleting 250 lines effectively.6 -
today a developer delivered his code.
and I found
- all "i" variables missing
- all "(" closings missing
- all "k" characters missing
latter I found out that it was because his middle finger was hurting :XD5 -
When a senior developer changes your impeccable code and pushes their ugly indented lines with bad naming scheme without review.
-
If you ask me, you're a bad developer if you don't know hardware. You have to know how it all works and fits together to write code for it.18
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I swear if I quit my job as a developer and became a stripper I’d still get adverts from udemy, code academy and the rest about become a developer 😭😭😭 when will they fuck off11
-
Copying code from stack overflow doesn't make you a developer. Knowing where to paste that code makes you a developer.2
-
Ask a developer to code entire night
Developer:
😏🤓No Problem. I was born to play with fire 😤😎
Ask a developer to complete the associated documentation in next couple of hours
Developer:
😳🤬🤯 Better call the devil to take me to hell 😱🤒🥵6 -
Do you ever wonder if you got promoted to senior developer too early? I keep making stupid mistakes that get picked up by more junior developers at code review I need to up my game10
-
That feeling when a bug has been bugging me for 3 days, I find that little information in API source code and using that I make a fix.
Developer life is so worth it :) -
"Writing good code is a charity". ( - saves time, effort, mental-health, & career of next developer).
5 -
"Developer code must ensure that IAsyncDisposable implementations don't take a long time to complete."
Ah yes, the very technical "long time" unit of measurement. God why don't you just go fuck yourself microsoft7 -
I tried to debug javascript Code on New versión of Firefox developer edition. In one word : dissgusting
-
Somewhere there is a developer who writing an AI code that will put most ppl out of work. And he doesn't even know it2
-
Start-ups and corporations trying new things be like:
"Why should we pay a developer or a company to develop this and this for us when we can just:
- start a competition.
- get free design mockups and code.
- decide which is better.
- reward a small prize and maybe some freebies to the competitors.
- profit. FREE CHEAP CODE AND DESIGNS!!!"
It might be the reasonable and logical thing to do from a business standpoint if its about code you need to rarely maintain..
But from an independent developer viewpoint - FUCK YOU AND THE SLOW ENSLAVEMENT OF MY SPECIE!!!3 -
Teacher asks the class:
"How do you become a good developer?"
All the students starts talking about algorithms, problem solving or working in a team.
He nods and starts writing on the board. w w w. g o o g l e . c o m
He then leaves the classroom.
So here I am years later, a master googler and a expert stack overflower.4 -
About 8 years ago I had a choice, go developer or system administrator. I chose developer and never looked back.
Then I've spent the last week or so - on and off - perfecting a Boxstarter script to setup our Software Developer laptops, right down to the Visual Studio Code extensions and Visual Studio Code Standards.
Boot up a new computer, join it to the domain and start the script. It's therapeutic to watch.
I actually enjoyed it... am I a closet system administrator?2 -
There was an android project that I got from my senior.
he told me that another developer already completed most the project and all I have to do is minor changes...
Well when i saw, i was amazed that the code he commented is more than the actual working code without any structure.
He copied most of code from internet.
If it's not working, put in comment else use it.
It took me a whole month to figure out what's going on.
And another 2 months to fix the issues.
Well in last my senior told me that the developer took 1 year to write this code
(to be honest any normal developer can complete that project in less than 3 month)2 -
That fealing when someone that picked from the graves an old project that you've started when you were just a noob developer... and then you look at the code... and then the shame.2
-
If you code with PHP, don't call yourself a developer. Call yourself GOD-KIN; ENGINEER FOR THE MACHINES OF CREATION; (S)HE WHO KEEPETH THE WORLD TURNING.
@alybadawy ;))))9 -
A programmer can code.
A developer is a jack of all trades jumping into any stack and mastering the basics in a weekend.
So why the fuck can't I grasp humans. Their code is spaghetti....
Debugging gives way to many problems...
Atleast my personal code has a feature creep and for once it's a good thing!3 -
I hate how I've been writing code for years now, but I still don't feel right calling myself a developer. So frustrating!5
-
The ability to look at uncommented legacy code and read the thoughts of the developer when he wrote it
(seriously, comment your shit!) -
Yet another day at work:
My job is to write test libraries for web services and test others code. Yes I know to code, and have a niche in software testing.
Sometimes developers (whose code I find bugs in) get so defensive and scream in emails and meetings if I point out an issue in their code.
Today, when I pointed a bug in his repo, a developer questioned me in an email asking if I even understood his code, and as a tester I shouldn’t look at his code and only blackbox test it.
I wish I can educate the defensive developer that sometimes, it’s okay to make mistakes and be corrected. That’s how we deliver services that doesn’t suck in production.10 -
Java must be like a food that requires an acquired taste because the more that I code in it, the more I enjoy it.2
-
Last day of internship:
"You will not become a developer, at best you will be a code writter".
That struck hard at the time.5 -
I long for the day I get a job with an actual developer team, where I can do things like getting my code reviewed or pair programming or being forced to write better tests.
Working as the only developer (or a team of 2) sucks :(4 -
I have always believed that clean code is readable code, and if your code is readable, then it shouldn't require masses of comments to explain it. However, in the course I am being taught, we are being told that in programming, comments are massively important to help another developer understand your code and what it does. So what is the consensus of the dev community?
Do you feel comments are key, or redundant if your code is written well?20 -
All those complaints about having to maintain the shitty code the last developer left behind...
I work on a new project Monday. Modern stack on a platform I have no knowledge about. No one else more experienced to work with. I AM THAT LAST DEVELOPER!!!6 -
I'd make a better product manager than developer. My code sucks, but I really understand what the customers want.15
-
So, first a bit of background:
We've got a parent class, owned by another team, and two child classes, owned by my team. One of the children is unused. (Already sounds bullshit right.)
On to the story:
6 months ago, I had to modify one of the children (add new functionality).
I try to modify the base class to add it, the senior dev in charge says "no, just add it on the child". So I do, then merge it in.
Yesterday I wake up to a high priority bug. Turns out the senior guy wants to add another child class, and wants the functionality I put in my class on the base class.
Even commented on my PR from 6 months ago asking why I didn't do that.
The fucker opened up a high priority issue assigned to me, asking ME TO DO THE CHANGE I WANTED TO DO 6 MONTHS AGO THAT HE SAID NO TO.
Fuck this shit. I have a meeting with him and my boss in an hour. My boss is pissed, I hope he tells the other guy to go fuxk himself and do the change himself.14 -
When you boast to your dad/mom about the code write,
And they ask you to fix their washing machine.
:'( -
Got a middle software developer position at a great company.... wrote 10 lines of code and spent 90% of the time in calls and meetings.
-
What does full stack developer mean these days. It used to mean you could work the database, the backend code and the UI. What does it mean now?14
-
I just started my new job as web developer. I have to work on an already existant PHP project, made by a random guy before me.
His code is so horrible it gave me a headache. At 10am (job starts at 9am..)5 -
developer: *deploying spaghetti code to production*
hacker: *alters the code with an injection*
developer:
2 -
Seriously.
Don't call yourself "Senior Software Developer", if you write shitty code, and have less experience with the technology stack than the other team members!12 -
getting part time job as a "junior web developer" while doing my uni, things go well at first. Now my profession is, senior web developer ... and database administrator, and server admin, and the one who call for hotfixes, and who code js for frontend, while under paid because I am still "a college student" ..3
-
Lead developer wants to put SQL statements in to records of the database for the code to execute (in Rails). This smells really bad to me, am I over reacting?8
-
I am working on a personal project for 4 years now and after year 1 I learned something:
Write your code as if every other developer is stupid.
Because you are that developer in a year.3 -
I always hated CSS.
Then I realized it's not CSS's fault, it's the fault of the initial developer who wrote the HTML code and CSS classes in a weird way.1 -
Hypothetical Question:
Write a complex code to make it efficient Or
Write a simple code so that the next developer who works on it understands the code easily.10 -
4 years ago I made a personal goal/plan to be a full stack developer. Meaning a good understanding of any development between os level code and web/front end user experience.
Over the years this term 'full stack' has been abused greatly and now basically means 'a javascript developer that generally knows what they are talking about'.
So now, devRant collective I ask you. What do you call a developer with good skills in:
- os level code (c, c++ and os apis)
- database level tech (advanced querying and db aglo/modeling)
- software architecture
- application level (workflow and business logic)
- transport level (protocol design and usage)
- front end tech (graphics programming and event driven paradigm)
- user experience14 -
If you weren't allowed to be called a developer/engineer/etc, what would you choose to call yourself?
Code ninja/wizard/monkey?
Hacker?
Techie?20 -
"Senior developer" blaming me because he's not able to remember the codes anymore because I refactored it.
GET OUTTA MY FACE YOU WERE THE CODE REVIEWER2 -
Going over his first iteration of his assigned project...
Me: "This looks awfully familiar..."
"Senior Developer": "Well, I took some inspiration from your apps"
Me: "No, you copied and pasted all of it, down to my breadcrumbs..."
Senior Developer: "No, I only made it LOOK like yours, I didn't copy any of your code..."
Really?! REALLY?!
7 -
Why are most developers/software engineers so absolutely fucking shit at their craft?
I understand incompetence exists in every occupation but it seems in development the ratio of bad developers to good developers is like 9:1. There’s a serious lack of quality in this industry and it’s only further exacerbated by coding bootcamps and orgs like general assembly pumping out more dog shit9 -
the web developer equivalent of waiting for code to compile is waiting for your local test DB to be populated with recent data from the production DB2
-
Epic code fight broke out today when one developer fronted himself for leader due to having beat all the metrics by a factor of ten. Claimed he could replace the entire department based on LOC alone.
Another developer told him to fucking zip it.
After almost coming to blows someone managed to explain to him that he had to put his code into a compressed archive.
As it compressed to ten times smaller than the next smallest contribution he declared victory because his compressed better. Another developer joked better call bomb squad.6 -
*1 hour passes*
Me: adds new code
*1 day passes*
Me: Why did it work?
*some random weekend*
On call developer: Who fucking wrote this code!4 -
Anyone wanting to improve OpenSSL fulltime?
Understanding of Cryptography or ability to write secure code are not required...
https://openssl.org/blog/blog/...4 -
devRant = Developer Anonymous. For people who are addicted to coding - the best sort of addiction. :-D
"I'm sterex, and I code."2 -
I should stop trying to be a developer and become a comedian, or perhaps a meme maker or something...
My rants are better than codes.
I mean, I got 100+ +1s on a rant and my code never runs!
https://devrant.io/rants/654457/...3 -
I coded part of feature 2 months ago.
Left it to help frontend guy a bit, deal with fire after release. ( we’re missing frontend integration tests and every release is pain in the ass ).
My backend code coverage is about 80% so not much can go wrong at this point.
So I added more code today and it looks like new feature is working but don’t know what the code I added 2 months ago exactly do.
The only thing I know is that it definitely needs refactoring ...
Being only backend dev / release manager / administrator/ dev ops in project is painful I need to deal with everything on my own 😔
At least client doesn’t care if it’s done in one week or in one month right now.1 -
I would like to see a full stack developer version of it.
Found this on 9gag it's fucking hilarious...
-
An excerpt from the encyclopedia of "Developer Confessions":
At times, when I have no clue what some code does, I comment it out to see what breaks. Sometimes I just want to see the code burn.3 -
After I read clean code I talked to a fellow developer about some concepts. Later I reviewed some code of him and he clearly got the concept (not)
Java
...
If (isTrue(someValue))...
public boolean isTrue(boolean value){
if(value == true)
return true;
else
return false;
}9 -
Developer vs non developer interview:
Non developer:
How well do you know excel ?
Developer:
How would you write spreadsheet app, what if it was cross platforms mobile application but also desktop app ?
Non developer:
Do you know how to use windows?
Developer:
Do you know kubernetes, distributed systems, lambdas, cloud services and how to deploy to server farm ?
Non developer:
You know how to use printer / fax and coffee machine ?
Developer:
Do you have experience in writing code for embedded devices ?
Non developer:
Do you know powerpoint ?
Developer:
How well do you know javascript / html / css, are you comfortable with writing backend node.js code or electron applications ?
React native and native apps maybe ?5 -
When you get this great idea at 2 am, code it out and the next day you wonder why you even bother to be a developer
-
Be me
Newb Ui dev
New job , learn c#
Become xaml pro first
Newb ui dev
Today building menu
It's breaking ree.
Ok I go through an fix
Part fixed
No reee
Commit build for other my senior dev
We have online compiler
Receive build fail
Reeee
My code is good
I'm sweating bullets
I call other dev
Yo I f***** up
Help me
Go figure it out ... reeee
I go spend 40 mins
Don't know what is killing build
Reeee intensifies.
Going to shit diamonds
Reeeeeee
Other dev, lol my bad I turned on somethin that break ur build. Your not fired congrats.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeee3 -
Being an unsupervised junior developer, I wonder how shitty the code I write is, and how being unsupervised will affect my future in this career.5
-
On today's episode an first ever
"In Your Opinion "
To be a "good " developer, do you have to code (not only for work) but as a hobby as well?6 -
If you have no defined business processes whatsoever nor code quality practices, why bother putting on the job offer "software engineer" or "full stack web developer"?
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR IS A FUCKING PHP HACKER -
What is the most sadistic thing you have done as a developer? What ways have you intentionally fucked up other people with your code/projects?4
-
Fifty little bugs jumping in the code,
One tracked down and dev started to code,
Developer called the compiler,
And the compiler said
Hundred more bugs (& errors) found in the code
-
Developer dilemma:
1) Tell people that they don't need code to get their startup idea off the ground
2) Make up an excuse to code something useless -
Manny a developer has been foiled by a single random misplace punctuation mark hiding in a million lines of code.3
-
A legacy custom made WordPress Theme.
Old developer made main styling sheet with 8000+ lines of code with no component separation. -
!RANT
Bet the diff between a beginner developer and an intermediate developer is where to get code snippets either from old codebases or remote resources. -
Today another developer recommends to me change coffe to a green apple and green apple juice today i transform green apples into code... lol.1
-
They say in java Errors cannot be handled in developer code. But here my code handles a StackOverflowError. What is going on here?
16 -
You cant be a recognzied as a good developer, untill you are a good tester or say produce least bug free code. You should do thorough testing of your code before handing over to QA. I lacked the skill of good unit testing, so have suffered alot in past years.1
-
I'm a php developer
I don't like
If (something) {
//code here
}
I like
if (something)
{
//code here
}
Sorry.
EDIT:
However, in javascript, I'm fine with the first example. I may need professional help.28 -
So I've been hired as a senior software developer with all the tags included (mentoring, innovating, pushing forward changes) for a company that is trying to move away from waterfall development (yup, it's 2019 and this exists) to a more iterative workflow.
I was initially hired and sent out to do some "field work" abroad for 3 months and then worked "remotely" from the local office with our field partners.
During all this time it seemed that my ideas go through smoothly, there was a lot of chatter about how things are moving forward, how new projects, innovations and new methodologies are implemented.
And yet, after my "remote" work has finished and I have to do things locally more, all of the skeletons fell out. It's just talk, nothing seems to be changing at all and yet any attempts to talk with the brass is like hitting a brick wall.
Not only that, I've been handed a 12 year old project with no possibility to refactor, no technical documentation, very few comments and in a terrible style.
The atmosphere in the company is odd as hell. People are either not very initiative, nor they seem to really care about all of the "changes" that "should be happening".
It almost feels that I've arrived in a company that still lives in 2007 more or less.
Should I quit, or perhaps it's a little "too soon" (have spent 7 months in the place already)? What I don't want is to get in the same train again (work for a company for 8 - 12 months, feel burned out because of the divergence between actual things done and "plans" and then change the job).5 -
You know when you are true developer when you have nightmares about non functioning code and bugs without solutions...1
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Having a CTO who was a strong backend developer, has zero understanding of UI/ UX and frontend part of code is funny as hell, weird and scary at the same time.2
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Client: "I've started as a software developer too" *chuckling* "so I understand EXACTLY what you say... But could you just explain me what do you mean with 'legacy code' ?"
Me: :|2 -
Code review moment that I hate
Me: This is a bad practice. You shouldn't do this
Developer: But it works
*Showed articles and examples why it's bad*
Developer: I see. But it works. Why should I change it?2 -
principle software developer who does not code, design, or architect,
instead, do random eslint fixes which create conflict with everyone's branches.
1 line of code "fix" per commit.
there goes 26 commits1 -
Customer has design review for big project I’m working on, have to sit with someone who isn’t a developer and explain my code.
Cunts, cunts, cunts.
If you don’t understand or know about code maybe you shouldn’t be a code reviewer. -
Genuine question, what was the most comments you've left in a single code review?
Just reviewed pull request submitted by a developer working for a contractor company and needed to leave 70 comments. Seventy.
Opened LinkedIn and saw a post from that same developer saying he left the contracting company an hour ago. I still can't believe it.14 -
As a mobile developer I get fucking pissed off when I get a ticket on Jira saying: Response code 500
The server fucked up why am I the one to be reached for? Especially that code is displayed when no response body is returned -
One of our developer told that my code is ugly to our project manager. And my response was 'I know right! By the way your code also sucks. Fair enough.'1
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I love how our industry has invented such important sounding yet meaningless job titles...
Developer, software engineer, software architect, developer evangelist, dev ops engineer, systems analyst, quality assurance engineer, code monkey...4 -
I think my company used to work with an innovative developer centric approach to software development where you make commits based on the state of the developer rather than the code. 😂
Translation : "My DD is going to fail hence I commit" and "I'm tired".
3 -
When you marvel at your code creation and the beauty of your envisionment only to be painfully whittled down as your boss tells you to change it all, because he doesn't like how the code looks. Joys of being a junior developer!1
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Today a senior developer and a colleague started looking into my code reviews and started commenting best practices that were never used in the team.
Got my chance back at the senior developer's code when he raised a code review, which had none of the best practices.
Gave back a good set of review comments to him :D
Karma is a boomerang :)2 -
"The Perils of Overzealous Code Commenting"
In the land of code, where bugs roam free,
There lived a developer, a comment enthusiast, you see.
Their code was a masterpiece, a work of art,
But the comments? Oh, they took it too far!
For every line of code, a comment did appear,
Explaining the obvious with a touch of fear.
Their obsession with comments, though well-intentioned,
Left fellow developers scratching their heads, bewildered and pensioned.5 -
People behave so precious and try best to avoid working on other's code.
I'm naive to think that being "developer" entails reading and understanding other's code(a.k.a shit)4 -
So, today a developer from a web app consuming our services requested to fix a 429 http error code (too many requests) they are seeing. The request is on an email with our managers cc'ed4
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Is it essential for a developer to steal or copy code from different sources to satisfy their client or it's a common thing????😞2
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Do you reckon learning the patience you need to write/debug code actually trains you to deal with all the other crap you have to put up with being a developer?1
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As a web developer i've never been able to use this as an excuse but now i can use the fact im compiling code as a reason for doing nothing. :P1
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I've been typed cast as a VB.NET WebForms developer. Don't let it happen to you!!!
Off to an Angular code meetup where I'll pretend I use it in my career.1 -
Don't refractor for fun!
An anecdote from my previous company. A developer had written a shitty java console app for fetching stock prices. About 3000 LOC. just one java GOD class. So, when me and my friend looked at it, we were amazed how that code works with all that if conditions spanning 100LOC. so. My dear friend underestimated the complexity. Since it just fetches stock price and puts in database right. I can write it in few days and much better one. So, he started writing code in an OO way. Three days later I see he still working on it. Having a glimpse at code. The app is now Object oriented shitty and ugly.
Guess what new code never goes in prod too.
Learning
Don't underestimate complexity of app.
Be empathic about fellow developer. Don't think he has written a shitty code. Think why he had to do so.
Don't work on refractors if there is no one to guide you.3 -
The nice thing about being a developer? Learning something new every day. The worst thing about being a developer? Going back to the code you wrote before learning these new things.2
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Hey management,
Please assign me that Node.js project that I'll get to code from scratch and I'm stoked about.
Regards,
Frustrated developer. -
Senior developer :: So, how's the work for maintaining the code base going.
Me(Intern) :: It's pretty easy because I have treasure
Senior developer :: what treasure ??
Me(intern) :: Stack Overflow.
Senior developer be like
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I'm in Paris this weekend, with some other developer friends!! Who is in for a Meetup!!! Let's talk code/rants!!
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Developer annoyance number two: fixing or having to work with or around other people's crappy code with days-long headaches following.
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Starting a new job tomorrow as a junior Java developer. Let's hope this works out better than my last job which was supposedly also as a java dev but involved zero code writing2
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We have decent linting on our codebase which covers off code quality and style.
We also have a developer who insists on making code reviews about formatting and spacing rather than functionality even tho we've tried in multiple ways to say:
- our linting covers it, if that's happy we should be (and the rest of the team is)
- it's a waste of time doing it
- it wastes the time of the team reading it
- the noise it generates makes it hard to see any legit comments
I swear to god if I see another comment saying "new line" i will scream. -
I'm a web developer for a year and I have a work experience girl coming in on Monday that I have to babysit.
she probably won't know how to code. what to do?9 -
Is the past repeating itself? Am I in that situation again where I, as a junior developer, is left to my own devices on a project, with no code reviews, and with features being added/changed as they wish? 😟
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When your parents call you about how to change the spacing on a paragraph in Word and you are like IDK, I didn't write it.
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developer=new Developer({wantsTo:'learn/code node',tiredOf:'Java'});
try{
if(developer.applyFor(company.fullStackPosition)==='Success'){
deeloper.setLevel('Junior');
if(company.checkForJavaBackground(developer)){
javaProject.assign(developer);
developer.startCry();
developer.setLevel('Mid-high');
developer.getPaid():
developer.stopCry();
}
}
}catch(err){
console.log(err);
}1 -
@anyone hating on Rust I bet you won't be talking shit after seeing some 10x developer rust code 😤 https://github.com/rust-lang/rust/...14
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Love this open job position of node.js developer on BMW Group.
Working with cars and open source code its a Saint Graal.
But not this time. -
To be sole developer.. what struggles did you face ?. Did you do something like hiting the head on walls when your code broken. ?5
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I find it really hard to accept that a non-iOS developer rates my performance based on source code he doesn't clearly understand
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never try to know everything in a language, because you can't.
just know what you need at the moment and needful2 -
Merry Christmas everyone. Even to that motherfucking co-worker who pretends to be a cool developer but can’t code for shit.
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One of the DB guys at work writes DB packages like this:
- open package in PL/SQL developer
- copy code to notepad
- edit PL/SQL code in notepad (yes, fucking windows notepad)
- copy and paste back from notepad to PL/SQL developer
- commit
Everytime I see him edit DB packages I can feel my brain mass shrinking.5 -
New on the job. Got assigned to a project a former employee didn't finish, thousands of lines of code with barely any comments or uninsightful comments.
Is this what being a developer is like?1 -
2 weeks is now wasted.
Sr. developer wrote code but didn't checked in all of them. now it won't compile because of its dependencies from other class.
Sr. developer went on vacation for two weeks -
"Back-end" ahahahaha
Translating:
Back-end developer (São Paulo / Brazil)
Vacant job: Back-end developer
Assignments: Work as a Back-end developer, PHP, and MySQL. Develop tools/applications for the web with a DB.
Technical skills: Technical knowledge in PHP, Framework Code Igniter, HTML5, JavaScript (jQuery, Bootstrap, Json, and Ajax), responsive layouts and WordPress.
Projecting and modeling DB Knowledge. Good knowledge of usability, Cross-browser (IE7+, Chrome, Firefox, and Safari).
Desirable: Knowledge on Graphic Design and Front-end projects
1 -
Joined a new company as front end developer after working for a legal tech for 3 years. The codebase is shit here. There is this ReactJS developer who has done everything except for following standard code practices. No modularity, no reusable components. Some files go beyond 2000 lines of codes. It is a literal nightmare.
The worst part is, he does not understand that he has written the worst code. I dunno how to handle this now.8 -
When you're the only developer in a group who uses self-commenting code... or comments for that matter.
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"Oh, sorry I didn't write you back! I checked 3 hours ago, and we only add the data once in our database before sending the notification to your endpoint, so everything is fine! Check if you run the same functio twice, it's an easy mistake!"
You. Fucking. Moron. You send the data 2 or 3 times (at random) every fucking time. I have nginx logs showing that, and I've fucking shown them to you TWICE. I don't fucking care if your DB is fine, check how many fucking times you POST the damn data. We're already 2 days behind schedule because you can't be arsed to check your own damn code. Ffs. How can you even be a senior developer?! -
Co-developer loves going through my code and tries to make me look bad to the team, not quite sure what I ever did to her lol
FMDL3 -
So, what are some useful / important Android and IOS apps for developers which can help them on the go?4
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First year as a professional developer, and this Thanksgiving break is making it hard to get back into the code base here at work. Am I the only one?2
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For donkey, one can argue that WordPress is great, but for the developer, it really sucks. Customize it, feels like your soul tormented in eternal hell with its spaghetti code and unreadable variables.
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Perfect job would be work life balance.
Colleagues are helpful.
The existing project are having clean architecture and code structure that won’t confuse developer at all. -
I'm a self taught web developer, I know I can develop great apps, but my code doesn't feel structured... It gets messier as I add more features, and this makes it harder to develop and keep track of everything.
How can I improve this, are there any processes to follow?5 -
I'm not working as a developer for money, sometimes it's hard to find the motivation to code on a recent project. The result are 10 projects that are all not finished -.-4
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You can call me a noob developer, but I still think its magic when your code doesn't work. So you step through your code to see what's wrong. But you can't see it. So you just hit continue just to see your code is now working3
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Started out with C++ when I was 17. Being passionate about programming, loved to learn and explore more of the coding and programming world.
Reached out to the books for different languages such as Java, Python, PHP, etc.
Enjoyed learning anything that I came across.
My initial stages as a programmer, relied on books and video tutorials.
Now, relying upon documentation and other people's source code examples.
You know you can call yourself a developer, when you know how to use a particular language to develop applications that solve real world problems and perform tasks.
Now whenever I start out on a new language, I begin straight away with frameworks, hoping that I can grasp the syntax in parallel. -
I'd have the power to lint developer brains so they'd write clean code and I wouldn't spend so much time refactoring crap.2
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We have a new official and probably for now final Lead Developer.
Asking questions like: What happens after is push code to bitbucket? -_-‘
Next time i’ll answer that the building will explode. -
Is Manjaro good for web and mobile developer? Currently I'm using Kubuntu, but I'm thinking about switching to Manjaro with i3. I'm using Andoroid Studion, Intellij, VS Code, GoLang and Java. I might replace VS Code with Vim later down the line.3
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My lead developer requires object sorting, so {url, extraParams = { id = '1', hobby = 'code' }} HAVE TO be {extraParams = {hobby = 'code', id = '1'}, url}. Is that normal?4
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Hackerrank
Pros:
- A lot of problems for developer to practice.
- Free.
Cons:
- Code worked on your machine does not mean it will on Hackerrank.2 -
There's two types of developer.
Type 1 :
def function() {
// code
}
Type 2 :
def function()
{
//code
}
So, which one are you? I won't judge if you're not type 1.4 -
TFW you’re trying to balance the volume on a tut in one window and YouTube playlist vol in another…just need a halfway between YouTube’s lowest vol setting and mute 🙄7
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