I hate my brain.
Got a compliment, my brain automatically rejected it and judged it.
Then it started to judge the judgement. Then the judge^3.
Then go all the way to the recursion.

For the last few days my brain is making me lose focus on everything because of this.
And the most fucked up thing is, I am paranoid of my own brain, so I really judged my memories and shit. I think I am losing my mind, my uni doesn't have consulting for students either nor I have money.

Any advices from ppl who went to a psychologists will be appreciated. A lot.

accept that your brain works that way. don't fight it - you only fight yourself.

when you realise you drift off in an "analysis-loop" like this, interrupt yourself. doesn't matter how. say a phrase that pulls you back into reality.

meditation helps, as well as any other mindfulness-practice.

and be open to those close to you about your problem with accepting compliments. it's hard, but opening up that way helps - both in their understanding, as well as your ability to accept them.

Let your tower of worrying collapse under its own weight and start again, fresh, and simple, and this time just let everything be unknown. Just accept what life gives you. It's some Buddhist concept, but I look at it from the scientific fact that the human society is too complex for us to understand or say something about what we get to experience.
You will detect danger when there is one.
Of course I'm talking about people and social environments, not about studies.
That made it for me, maybe it can help you too. When you start again you grow your social senses again after some time.

I agree with @tosensei, try to accept your thoughts and be kind to yourself, try to treat yourself like you would treat a good friend. would you judge them for having these bad thoughts, or would you tell them "it's okay"?
it's okay.
you deserve a kind treatment.:)

being aware of those thought patterns and being able to name them (like "i didn't accept this compliment") can also help, but try without judging or giving it a negative spin. maybe you can find a friendly position from which you can observe your brain's thinking habits.

also, what might help breaking the loop: do some research on coping skills. these are very individual and might be: going for a walk, painting, playing a video game, talking to a friend, biting a lemon...^^

what's more, i don't know which country you're living in, but maybe it's worth looking for a therapist. they can help you to grow a more kind and understanding relationship to yourself and by this, gain more self-esteem and placidness.

take care <3

@soull00t being unsure about if i deserve a nice treatment was the catalyst to all other thoughts.

I'm trying to cope via listening to healthygamergg as of now.

Also, thank you all, I will try to _reboot myself to last known good state._

You sound like you suffer from being too defensive.

My recommendation is to tell the other person judging you, the moment they do, that how they communicated it is inappropriate and unacceptable. Tell them to level their tone and communicate respectfully or not at all.

Being a defensive person, who is only ever pissed off when someone is hothead that jumps the gun without listening-- the prior suggestion wont actually accomplish anything but it will at least piss the other person off.

That's a win these days.

@Wisecrack you sound like you read the rant wrong bro.

I am the only one who is judging me.
The person mentioned just gave me a compliment.
I kept (my brain is calmer a bit today) judging my judging on my worthiness on the compliment.

That's why I was in that shitstorm of a mood.

this might sound a bit random, and it kinda is, but also not:

read the Tiffany Aching series from Terry Pratchett's Discworld:

https://terrypratchettbooks.com/dis...

(scroll down on the page to her section, the list of books is there)

Apart from being as genius as any Pratchett's book is, these ones deal quite a lot with how mind and perception works, and have a beautiful theory of First, Second and Third Thoughts, and Second Sight, all of which are relevant to what you're talking about, and it's sprinkled all over those books, but I would have trouble trying to describe it out of context.

It's very well worth it, in my opinion, both as just great books, and as advice on how to work with your mind. I used to have... still have... issues similar to what you're describing, and the ideas those books deal with, and gave me, help surprisingly lot in dealing with it.

It's disguised as jokes, but there's lots of deep understanding in it, in my opinion.

@melezorus34 disregard complilemt. Proceed with trolling them anyway.

@Wisecrack I also would take it with a side of satire normally, but this one was in real life.

Also, this one was not the kind of compliments I used to hear. It was too personal.

The recursive judging can be used FOR you as well. It can be used to question the belief in unworthiness by the fact a compliment was received. You must be deserving because they complimented you.

@arcadesdude I had concluded on "oh they just don't know me" way before.

Idfk why but I set standards too high for myself sometimes.

@melezorus34 It's usually the superiority complexes that hide the inferiority complexes... Or visa versa.

Receiving compliments is also a kind of giving, allowing others to give to you... And more evidence that you deserve it. We're all imposters here :)

@arcadesdude well, ain't that sus.