He's been away in the last five days. Something strange ! :\

Had a dodgy stomach. Muted the mic & let out an almighty fart.

Only, as you'll have guessed (and I quickly guessed from the silence that followed), I'd missed the mute button.

University is not there to teach anyone to code. Drops the mic.

Had this conversation the other day:

Girl: So, what do you do?

Me: I'm a Software Developer.

Girl: So you write 1 and 0 all the day?

Me: Yes!

----
I actually work with C#

My boss thinks once the UI is made , the backend and integration shouldn’t take more than 15 minutes.

I want to kick him on the dark side of his moon

Other people : she said yes :') :')

Me: the client accepted the first draft without asking for changes :') :')

Got my new workstation.
Isn't it a beauty?

Rocking a Pentium II 366 MHz processor.
6 GB HDD.
64 MB SDRAM.
1 minute of battery life.
Resolution up to SXGA (1280x1024)
Removable CD-Rom drive.
1 USB port (we like to use dongles, right?)

Also it has state of the art security:
- No webcam
- No Mic
- Removable WiFi
- I forgot the password

And best of all:
It as a nipple to play with!!

Rant!!

Girlfriend call me while am at a meeting.
I mute my phone...
She calls again and again for the 3rd time back to back. I leave the meeting stating this might be important..

I answer the call...

Me: hey babe , all okay ?
She: you’re busy ?
Me: yeah sorta , tell me wassup ?
She : if you’re busy then it’s okay we can talk later
Me: it’s all right . Are you okay ?
She : yes, but if you’re busy we can talk later ..

Me :(FUCKKKKKKKK THIS FUCKING FUCK WOMEN LOGIC, HOW THE FUCK DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS)
The above statement was said internally

Me:(in reality) you sure babe? I’ve left the meeting so I can talk..

She: nothin much I was suppose to be in your area in a couple of hours so wanted to know if you could meet

Boss man: your code has issues , you should strive to have lesser bugs.

Me: GTA was made due to a bug in the their code.
*mic drop, leaves office, clapping heard in background*

😂

Making fun of a skinny/fat person working out is like making fun of an uneducated man trying to learn

I hate everybody who says JavaScript is the best language because of loose typing and its easy to learn, YES OF COURSE IT IS EASY!

ITS FUCKING JAVASCRIPT! IT WAS MEANT TO BE EASY! AND THEN SOME ASSHOLE CAME ALONG, CREATED NODE AND THOUGHT THAT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA!
NOW WE HAVE TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE PEOPLE WHO WROTE CODE FOR UX NOW THINK THEY KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN ON THE SERVERSIDE!!
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT I HATE THIS ANALTOY OF A LANGUAGE.
YOU THINK JAVASCRIPT IS THE BEST?! DO YOU REALLY??!!! OH YEAH!?!
WELL FUCK YOU AND GO TO HELL, YOU ARE NOT A DEVELOPER IN MY EYES, GO HOME KIDDO, LEARN C OR ASM OR HOW A FUCKING COMPUTER ACTUALLY WORKS!!
AND THEN TELL ME AGAIN JAVASCRIPT IS A WELL DESIGNED AND PROPER LANGUAGE!!
I'M OUT!

This dude is using 4 screens for work. When I asked for another screen at work,
I can't convince my boss for 2, FML

To the dude who got 4 screens, congratulations, and sorry I used your image without permission. BTW
You lucky bastard

I have a telephone headset with a "confusing" mute button. Sometimes it works normally, but quite often it will "double-toggle" (toggle twice as though I pressed it twice, which essentially has no effect) - so I'm either left muted or left un-muted, the same as before I pressed the button at all - so I have to press it again, sometimes several times, for it to actuary work.

While I'm at my desk, I have a visual indicator of mute status (a light that turns green for un-muted or red for muted), so I can easily tell if my mic is hot or not. My old headset had a nice audible beep reminder if I was muted, but the new headset? Nope, not-so-much.

I work from home, while my wife works at an office; so each morning she leaves, but I stay in the home office. I almost always see her off one way or another, usually doing or saying something funny as she heads out.

So, one day, I'm on a large conference call with a number of cross-team managers, and my wife is about to head out the door. With the meeting droning on in my headset, I was in the kitchen with her for a while helping finish clean up after breakfast and getting her ready to go.

She needed to pack an ice-pack for some reason, and for the random humor of it, I start screaming something to the effect of "GIMMIE YO ICE PACKS - GIMMIE ALLLL YO ICE PACKS - YEAH! YEAH! IMMA PUT MY BAAAAAAAAALLLLLS ON IT - WHOOOOOOOOO!"

During which time I am jumping around like a crazy person, including actually grabbing one of the ice packs, putting it down the front of my pants and screaming. Loudly.

It was after my own screaming I overheard more than one person yelling on the bridge line "YOU'RE NOT MUTED! YOU'RE NOT MUTED!"

I have seldom felt such raw, unadulterated panic.

I rushed back to my home office - yes, the green light is on my desk - my mic is hot. When I pressed mute at some point earlier in the call, it double-toggled, leaving me un-muted, and I never knew.

Even more embarrassing was the chat session I saw on my computer screen. It was from my manager (one of the managers on the call) - he had pinged me several times while I was in the kitchen.

It read something like:

hey, you there?
is that your phone
I think your phone isn't muted
mute
dude, mute
is that you?
MUTE!
did you just say balls?

Shout out for dfox for +1 ing our rants even if they are shitty . Way to go dfox!!! 😂

Citizens are advised not to cover their Webcams and Mic ports by scotch tape or anything else, as the devices might get heated and may sometimes even burst.

Cooperation is expected from everyone.
Have a nice day :)

Nose picking manager.
I mean this fucker picks his nose even when he’s talking face to face,
And am not talking about just cleaning it,am talking about putting the finger in all the way and probably trying to dial a number...

Today I reached a new low. Muted the mic and took a dump while in a meeting

So my CEO wants me to move to architecting systems!!!!!!!! My dream since a kid !!!

It seems like a mad job where you're a crazy scientist 😂
What should I read or do to be better ?

I don't know what's wrong with my project. But somehow, this is the screening when you debugs a React Native app within DevTools.

Just make up your mind hacker news :

People here are arguing about a guy using MS word as a HTML IDE,
My boss once showed me how blind people read "colors" by running his fingers over the phone screen.

Me:(kills the CTRL +S buttons saving something)
Boss: what are you doing ?
Me: nothing much, saving a document.
Boss: is that the best way to save it?
Me: no, it got saved the very first time, the rest is to convince my heart I saved it.

Boss: ... ... ... fair enough.

I just won my first hack!

What kind of dumb fucks are making these job application forms, initially I thought asking my “sexual preference” was weird but then I saw these !!!!

How does my earlier financial condition or what my parents did when I was 14 help my job application when now I am 28 !!

The fuck

One of my colleague is in trouble... He yelled "I don't give a fuck " in a zoom meeting. He told me he thought his mic was muted.

No is not. You fucked up.

This is probably gona make me sound arrogant, but fuck it, you don’t know who I am, and I need to RANT!

I hate it when B.A.’s who have never studied UI or UX rail-road over my design decisions, and I just gota go along with it cos they in charge.
Then, when I make the interface the way they want it, all sorts of problems arise… Mother fucker, I saw this shit coming, and that’s why I designed it the way that I did.
Now I gota tell them how to solve the problems by doing what I originally said, and when they finally see the light, I gota waste more time re-doing the interface.
I once went through 5 fucking iterations of “Let’s try it this way”, Just to end up back with my original design spec cos these fuckers can’t even imagine what shit would look like, and how it will interact.

Now you would think after this happens a few times they would learn to trust my design skills, but noooo, Mr B.A. has to piss all over my ideas every time.
And every FUCKING time, we end up going back to what I originally proposed…
Learn your fucking lesson dumb ass!!!

*drops mic & goes straight to the bar*

I just burped out loud on a live call with about 30 people and I thought my mic was muted.

Yesterday I stayed at home sick. Had a bad case of the EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA FROM HELL. Was feeling ok but could not walk away from me throne.

Went in today cuz the lead was not gonna be there and shit always breaks on Freyja's day as we all know.

1 and a half hours before we clock out and go home someone calls saying that students are trying to drop from classes at the last minute and our app ain't doing it.

I "fixed" the app last week and ran a small login test. It work so I thought it was fine. Stupid me for making unprofessional and retarded assumptions.

Manager freaks out. The entire school freaks out. Coworker lols cuz he ain't got to work on it. I start mind debugging the entire bitcheridoo.

45 minutes later...and I was able to successfully go through almost 15k lines of code of php/html/js code and fucking FIXED it with tests and all for real.

Went at it hard. Babe ass manager was like 0.0 and then (͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Called head office and told them everything was undr control.

Dropped the phone like a mic. Mic drop.

Then I looked at manager and coworker and said "ya I fucked up, but I am still the king"

Both nodded in agreement.

Everyone got wet with my sheer awesome troubleshooting php master skills.

Got home thinking about how boss I am.

Fucking Texas af b. Can't touch this heat. The rangers still suck and so do the cowboys. The astros and the texans don't exist because there is only room for one. Go spurs.

Still have diarrhea.

Fuck yeah.

I feel like a e-hoarder, I keep tabs and sublime windows open and worry about closing them as they might contain important code...
FML

"Don't install the Docker inside the Docker system, it will break your mind."

New project in C++. I don't know C++ but very good at C and Java so not worried.

New guy joins us. Gets stuck on how to concatenate a string. No big deal since he is new to the language too and doesn't have a C background. I offer to help and he goes on a 10 min rant about how C and C++ are different and I don't know what I'm talking about.

Wait until he's done. Tell him just to do strcat(possibly a better way but I'm literally in day 2 of my C++ skills, but I knew it would work). He mumbles how is not going to work as he types like he's going to shove it in my face when it fails.

It was like a beautiful geeky mic drop when it worked perfectly.

We've come so far, yet we have not progressed at all - can you hear me? is this working? "JENNA GET THE OTHER MIC THIS ONE DOESN'T WORK"

That awkward moment when your AliExpress package has travelled more countries than you ever have

Get projects from companies and let students compete to complete those projects ,
Projects could be basic , but the students would get a good chance to see what is being done in real projects what tech is used.

Almond, are you there?

> Sure, of course.

Oh ok, it said you were on mute.

> I was, I always go on mute if I'm not talking to help cut down on background noise **hint hint**

That's very confusing for the rest of us, can you leave your mic on please?

> Right... Okay.

You know the world is about to end when STACK OVERFLOW is down

You only know the value of a bad boss once you get a boss who's worse

You know the anxiety that is caused by having your boss breathing down your neck as you fix something?
.....
WELL I DON'T
SIT DOWN MOTHERFUCKER AND WATCH THIS SHIT

I fucking invite this micromanaging fuckery. Come on dude get closer and check this shit out. Countless hours perfecting my sweet skills, lemme show them to you and make yo dumbass feel inadequate AF

dude was literally looking as i saved the day over some fuckery that happened while i was taking care of alllll the other motherfucking support tickets.

Dude even said wow.

I said "i am in this bitch what's up?"

Guarantee mfkers won't fuck with you if you show them how much of a fucking boss you are.

*doesn't drop mic
*smashes guitar instead

For some reason my manager freaked out after her non developer husband told her that each of the web pages for our main service would take months to build. Shit man its just static content with some animations here and there. It is a total of 15 pages and this dude estimated that I (as in yours truly) would only be able to do 2 per month. Bato stfu. Stick to banking (hopefully your time estimates don't suck ass there) and let me woo your woman with my frontend godspeed.

So what did I do?

Simple, asked her to show me one of the design models she already created on photoshop. Saved that thing to my computer and coded it at home. In 2 hours (It was originally one but my dumbass gor tab trigger happy with rm rf autocomplete so I had to do it again...fking dumb) and showed it to her this morning.

Eat a dick dude. The woman is already going apeshit over all the other shit we have to do plus working on her masters and attentind 100+ pointless meetings a day whilst still being able to be the best fucking manager I've ever had. I really don't need her freaking the fuck out over your dumbfuck estimates. Why in the wholy fucking world she listened to your dumbass is beyond me, probably stress made her freak out.

Its cool b.....I got it under control.

Fucking chill woman damn.

**drops mic

Nice try Microsoft, but no.

The fuck did I do wrong?

So I had 11 vulnerabilities 1 high.
I just npm audit fix

Now it’s 44 vulnerabilities

v2 production release, day 4:

0 Issues reported

*drops mic

I have the best team.

Does not liking coffee count as a sin? Because I'm a tea person *_*

There's always that one dude with the open mic who constantly breathes into it

Almost got my audio settings set up, so close to actually sounding like me! :-D

CEO : this Facebook app has this great feature .

Me: yep, it’s really useful

CEO : can we make something like this in ours too ?

Me : we can sure try using this(x) method.

CEO : cool, I’ll add this into the sales team memo , and btw, it needs to be done in 2 days,
Me : but... but ...

They want me to be a speaker at this event , I wrote them this

Regarding this statement on the speaker form “Presentation rooms are set up theatre style with a lectern, lectern mic, screen, laptop with Windows XP Office

2007/Vista XP and a projector.” – is it just an old form?

I do have one question what does this mean exactly?  Are you actually using windows xp? it’s not supported by Microsoft anymore, so it’s quite dangerous to have unless it’s not attached to the internet what so ever and never has been. Vista… is not much better. Windows 7 is 2008 you should at least be using that I would of thought? I mainly ask because if I am going to speak about technology and computers I can’t exactly say I’m an expert when I’m using tech as old as that. I mean I’m 20 I was 7 when xp came out, I know how to use it but it’s ancient, in computer terms It’s as old as Aztec times and I’d rather not be sacrificed to a sun god (seriously if anyone who knows tech at all sees me I’ll be embarrassed and taken the piss out of majorly).

Could I just use my laptop? If needs be?

Sorry to be a pain

I removed mic permission from Google and Google play Services, and now Everytime I make a call, I get this notification. wtf. Is Google listening to my calls or what.
Any devs here who know why tf does play services requires mic while I am making a call...?

Take the know-it-all guy you grew up with, that ruins every relationship he's ever had with friends and family, because he gets angry when folks don't deem him as the authority, even for shit he doesn't have a single clue about doing correctly.

Now make him the manager of a fast-food restaurant - so he can command anyone he pleases, making them do anything he wants them to, because he feels it's fun to experiment with co-workers emotions.

Give him an assistant manager that realizes that the only way they can keep their job is to kiss his ass, blowing him every once in a while for a ten cent raise, while the rest of the employees do nothing but smile, say "yes, sir", and go about their business - eventually shit talking about him at the parties he's not invited to.

Watch him jump on every fashion trend, no matter how much it costs, until he eventually decides that the job he's had for the last decade and his fellow employees are beneath him, without saving any money to pay for the things he needs to survive, or taking the proper time to learn all the things that would have made him successful in the long run.

Even though he was an uptight twat and a half, some folks feel that he never got the chance he deserved, as death comes knocking at an earlier age than many would have expected; creating an empty, irrational, and partial dependency in their lives, caused by problems he never cared to correct for their love and admiration, while others are happy as fuck that he's breathed his last breath.

This is the state of our current industry.

*Drops the mic*

Decided to upgrade my hardware a day after wk119 ends. Oof. I'll post an update once the first part (monitors) arrives, but here's a before pic in the meantime.

Monitors: 3 different brands at 3 different sizes/resolutions. Left to right: 1920x1080, 1680x1050, 1440x900.

Mic: Neewer NW-800 with a U-PHORIA UMC22 interface.

Keyboard: A DIY Nyquist kit from keeb.io with Canvas XDA keycaps.

Rubber duck: I prefer a fuzzy kitten.

Some people tape up inputs like camera and mic to keep gov and hackers out of their private lives.

Me, I'm an exhibitionist.

Dear OSX,
PLEASE STOP TRYING TO USE MY BLUETOOTH HEADPHONES AS A MIC

I HAVE A BLUE YETI FOR A REASON
Thank you,
An man recently embarrassed when his headphones switched to Mic mode in a meeting while singing "Let It Go"

Seems legit

Client : We have performance issues on <this> page.

US : Testing with their data on : Xeon : All good, Core i7 : all good, Core i5 : all good, A smartphone : all good, core i5 UM version from 5 years ago (You know, 1.8Ghz, 2 cores, not 4) : all good.

US : Could you share your screen and show us ?

Client : Sure ! Shares his screen. Chrome is already opened. Refreshes the page, after 15 seconds, chrome : Would you like to stop script on this page ?”

US with mic on mute : “WTF?! It cannot happen here. It’s only a list of about 500 rows!”.

US : “Hello, could you open a tasks manager?”

Client : “ Sure, but I need to do it through here”

Some random VID interface popping up. Opens tasks manager with a beautiful “48 vCPUs detected”.

I have no idea how their virtualization is settled, but it seems to be messed up. Tomorrow going to be fun. I have a call at 9am to explain them their problem. Their IT will hate me forever.

If anyone has tips on Chrome through virtualization, please tell me.

EDIT : Yes 48. Not 4-8. It's not an error

I couldn’t get a dev duck ,
So here comes Dev Spider-Man!!!
Well he’s obviously good at coding , cos you know , he works on the web 🤣

Tldr; my "this is not bug, its a feature" moment actually turned my bug into a feature.

Today we were presenting a project which has imposible deadline. I am developing this small project alone (which is probably good). I implemented core features first but I know project still have bugs and a lot of tech debts. Another friend started to presenting our demo and a wild bug appeared as expected. He was adding rows to a table. To add a new you gotta open new modal by clicking + button and fill the form. One of the fields had a bug. When you add row by clicking Ok button, the value of the field stayed there after you open modal again. So its basically a state problem in React. I forgot to clear previous state of modal. When they see that and my friend said "oh we got a bug there". Then I enabled my mic and said "thats not a bug, thats a feature. I didn't want to enter that field again and again when I adding multiple rows and made it persistent." and you know what? They liked the idea! They requested to add that bug to two more fields. I was just joking and my "this is not bug, its a feature" moment actually turned my bug into a feature. Instead of fixing it, I'm creating more of this bug. LOL!

I really don't understand how some it recruiters ever got their job... Brainless fucking scaredycat fuckwats!!!

Just finished a mission and i put myself back on the market, been flooded by calls and emails since monday, so far so good.

But all of them wanting you to 'come over the office for a chat', fuck no. 'I will come once a real opportunity gets presented, i propose to do video conference call as to not waste time and transportation'. But noooo... It's like they never heard of that thing being possible before. I propose them to use meet.jit.si (really cool and free to use videoconference software, no software needs to be installed)... 'Yeah sorry but your link doesnt work', 'how come? You just need to go to the url and grant cam and mic permissions for the session'... 'No it asks me to install software (not true) and i simply cant now ... Can you tell me who you are and what you do and what your field of expertise is?'

For fucks sake you got my cv right in front of you you fucking blind maggotpuss! Learn to fucking read!

Tomorrow is another, hopefully better day...

Glad to take that of the chest.

!rant

Linux just made my day. Everybody knows how Windows won't let you shutdown your hardware until it updates, right? So last night I forgot I was upgrading Manjaro in a background terminal (full distro update, tons of packages) and hibernated my rig, plugged it off, took it to a different location. Today I hooked it up - different network, IP, etc. - it woke up, finished compiling whatever it ended up on then downloaded, compiled and installed everything else, said "Thank you very much!" and dropped the mic. Someone tell me this isn't pure awesomeness! 😂

It asked again for root password but other than that... shrugged off 12 hours difference like a boss!

I use the light theme.

*Boots PC to enjoy overwatch*

I wanted to see what was new with Cortana for some reason
*Asks Cortana what I can say*

One of the options shows an example
"Turn on High Contrast"

*Clicks the mic/listen button*

"Turn on High contrast"

Cortana responds
"Sorry I can't do that yet"

Wow, I just love voice assistants. Thanks Microsoft!

As a person who takes a lot of tech interviews everyday, here are a few thoughts

1. You DON’T need to know everything, it’s okay to say you don’t know things. Trust me, we know when you’re lying

2. Rule of thumb, the more the number of questions, the more we like you

3. We don’t mind you saying what you’re thinking when we ask a logical question. It might help us understand your approach to the problem and guide you.

4. Don’t google during telephonic interview, your stutter tells us the truth

SCREWED OVER GOOGLE WITH MICROSOFT!!!! YES!!!

So as I'm deaf, I've always had a problem with captions or lack of them.

I thought Live Captions would fix it but it's only supported on selected devices and not enabled for calls and conferences like Zoom, WhatsApp.

I tried hooking up my sound card with an audio capble to my phone which has LC and also Live Transcribe... but somehow wouldn't pick up the audio.

Then today I was like wait... I could just install a Pixel emulator... excepy seems Google thought of that...

(I installed VB Cable virtual sound card and routed sound out to mic in).

Well first apparently, the emulator does not actually identify as Pixel... it identifies as an Emulator that sorta looks like Pixel...

Which means no LC...

I installed LT and also a sound meter which confirmed it was getting the audio but no transcription...

Though I tried GBoard and it sorta worked..
But I would like continuous transcription... and so I open the app store and try all the apps until I hit MSFT Translate...

Which has a convo mode which seems pretty much designed to screw Google over lol. Just need to start a Convo with myself...

Have interview in 1 hour
*Quacking calmly*

Tests webcam, mic, connection
*Quacking softer*

Open meeting app to set everything up
Windows: I think not. Pereificus Totalus!!
*Quacking intensifies*

Why do companies use these random new wave of meeting apps instead of the tried and true ones!!

Code is not self documenting..

reading 10k+ lines of business logic does not take the place of well defined documentation.

Mic drop.

Once caught my co-worker masturbaed in a zoom meeting, without realising the webcam and mic weren't off.

FUCK Y.O.U. windows 10 for making my pc not recognize mics on the front port.
Seriously i usually dont mind windows that much but really ?! Oh hello i noticed you changed your os version THEN LET ME FUCK UP YOUR DRIVERS SO YOU FEEL LIKE A RETARD NOT BEING ABLE TO TALK.
Worst is i feel like an idiot because i have no idea how to fix this shit apart from buying a new PC, aaaaand im pretty sure while trying to fix it i made it worse
FUCK IM A SCRUB. FUCK PEOPLE ON INTERNET AND THEM "It works". NO IT DOESNT !
And now i feel like a worthless dev because of w105

Sort of a meeting, sort of an informal interview, I've dialled in from the home office and my audio setup includes a standalone mic and some noise cancelling headphones. It's going really really well when all of a sudden I see something in the preview window of my webcam feed.
Behind me, looking very concerned and confused is my 73 year old Nanna who'd decided to pop in and see me as she was passing by.
It's common for me to keep the front door locked, but my Nanna has an emergency key and knows I don't always hear a knock at the door, so let herself in.
So she's now in the house, calling out to me and she can hear me talking, so follows the sound of my voice thinking maybe I'm on the phone. Walks right into the office, where the door is behind me, eventually puts two and two together to work out that I can't hear her and finally sees herself on my monitor. She panics and goes to hide in the corner of my office, almost underneath my workbench because she's old and doesn't know where she would or wouldn't be visible from.
The rest of the meeting went really well, but overran by at least half an hour. Meanwhile I can see my poor Nanna hiding away in my peripheral vision.

You wanna know what the fuck we did in our goddamn code.org class today, wait no, the last whole fucking week. YES OR NO QUESTIONS. I GET BINARY IS FUCKING 0'S AND 1'S. FOR GOD SAKES I KNOW BINARY. I EVEN KNOW FUCKING TERNARY. AND. YOU KNOW WHAT TEACHER ? EVERYONE ELSE COULD LEARN BINARY IN FIVE GODDAMN MINUTES. "Is code.org worthy of being kicked in the ass and tied up on a railroad when the trains coming?" Is a perfect binary question. This whole fucking class I feel like I'm in an english class for five year olds in spain. HEY TEACHER I DON'T CARE IF BILL GATES OR MARK SUCKERBURG OR BARAK OBAMA OR GODDAMN CHRIS BOSH SUPPORTS IT. ITS FOR THERE FUCKING REPUTATION. PEOPLE WITH HALF A BRAIN KNOW THESE PEOPLE DON'T GIVE A FUCK. THEY EACH HAVE HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OR EVEN BILLIONS OF DOLLARS, BUT THEY ALL CHOSE TO USE A FIVE DOLLAR MIC JUST TO FUCK WITH US. EVERY TIME I WALK IN THAT CLASS I FEEL DEGRADED LIKE I'VE BEEN PUT BACK IN PRESCHOOL. THANK YOU TEACHER, I ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN BINARY TO MAKE MY FUCKING SIMPLE JAVASCRIPT APP AS MY FINAL PROJECT FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.

So I wrote code to show the FUNCTIONALITY of my module , which has temporary variables and temporary code.
Boss after verifying : so it's done right ?
Me: no the code needs to be written .
Boss : but it's working...
Me : yeah , but this is a test environment , I need to put everything in place and test .
Boss : so it'll be done in 15 minutes right ?
Me : ...
Boss: ...

I love Larva

Why me. Why is it always me who has issues with Windows. (The OS)

I HAVE to use windows for a specific thing right now. Fair enough, I have an old system lying around somewhere with not the best specs ever but it'll do. Windows 7, clean install.

Firstly, let's boot up! Booting goes fine, login goes well... "Installing device drivers" (keyboard and mouse combi). I connected this set a gazillion times before so no clue why windows would need to download the drivers YER AGAIN. But, fine, it works.
Let's connect a USB webcam and to to the hardware testing website to see if my setup is right!

(I mostly don't blame this part on windows)

The webcam drivers install successfully, good. Although the page says it isn't working, it displays the live cam footage well so whatever.
Installed Chrome (not chromium too badly) to see if it shows fine there but chrome doesn't detect ANY cam/mic combination at all, not even the integrated one(s).

Annoying so let's reboot and see if it works normally with all checks okay on Firefox.

Rebooted.... aaaaand the USB webcam driver installation fails. I'm weirded out since the drivers were installed BEFORE the reboot already. Firefox now does not display any can/mic.... until it does after a few reloads. Windows is still saying that the driver installation failed.

The testing webpage, however, still says its not working while I'm literally seeing my ugly smug on screen. I contact support which does a remote check and says all is good but there was probably "a glitch with Windows" while the checks are still mostly red, I take a copy of the chat log just to be sure.

Now, I kinda want to shut this system down until the time I'll need it but I'm rather afraid that Windows is going to throw driver conundrums yet again and I simply *CANNOT* have this right now. So, I'm leaving this system on until I need it, and I'll pray windows plays along well.

Fuck this day!
Like really fuck it!
I have one of the most terrible crunch-time i ever experienced.
I’v been working 12+ hours every day with an ever-changing project timeline.
It started simple, we made a timeline, it was risky even then but it was realistic, we started working immideatly, everything looked good then a few days in BOOM! Actually our project management completely forgot client B’s projects soo we need to do that too with the same fucking deadline!!! (About 10x more work in waay less time)
Then this morning i got an email from the graphics team that we need to document our design process RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Because management wants documentations, in the middle of a fucking crunch-time.
Today it almost got physical with my project manager, i told him that he is not a programmer, i dont fucking care about his shit, just fuck off and let me work because we won’t be ready based on his unrealistic bs.
I feel like completely fucked over, like we were told 2 days before deadline that the whole company and people’s jobs depends on us now because if we wont finish this clients won’t pay.
WE ARE TWO PROGRAMMERS for studio of 10-12 people!!!
Soo i’w been thinking about getting the fuck out of here ASAP, i got an offer from a pretty big international gamedev company just what i needed, i already did their test before all of this, i passed A+.
We scheduled a skype interview for today. I had completely no time to prepare or chill off, just got out of the office, got into a starbucks and i’m interviewing. No time to even check my mic or internet, the call was so shit i could not hear anything, they neither because the plaza was loud af. Meanwhile im nervous about work, about the interview, about can they hear me at all because of the noise. I fucked it up. BIG time! I was so done i could not reverse a fucking string in c++ or explain what is a signed int!!!
Needless to say they said no.
Need time to think about it or realize what happened? Nice dreams. Back to the office and continue working.
I can’t do this anymore. My girlfriend came for me and took me home at 10pm but all i could do was stare at the floor on the subway. I don’t want people to lose their jobs but i just phisically can’t do this anymore.
Meanwhile any time i talk to my project manager about being tired he says like “hshshsbsb i have 60 hours in the last 4 days i got the worst part, i would be grateful in your place..” like fuck off dude, i dont give fuck about how you feel about this. This is not okay for me, you did this to the project, your fucking job is to manage it! I have one day off before going back to this, i have completely no idea what to do now...

[ps: this is not Nemesys. They did not let me work on my own stuff because i would be a competitor, so i left.]

Learning to use Lightroom,
First try...

The hardest part about editing photos is to not oversaturated them even when you feel warmer colours look better . I guess I overdid it

P.S. that’s me in the picture enjoying the sky pissing on my face (sarcasm intended)

This morning I turned on my PC at work...
Only to be greeted by a finishing your Windows upgrade message.
It took fucking windows HALF AN HOUR to finish the upgrade.
After that my machine lost its built in cam, mic and speaker. Which I need for my work.
Took me two hours to hunt down the correct driver to install and find the info it must be installed in Win7 compatibility mode or it won't work. It was pure joy to install it plain first and it still didn't work.
Then VirtualBox refused to start. Took me half an hour to upgrade it and get it working again.
Took me half a day to just get the shitmachine working like it did yesterday so that I can START working.

So, dear Microsoft:
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
wait for it...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
FUCK YOU!
🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
sincerely

(And don't give me this "use Linux" crap, I have to use Windows for my work.)

Me after working on a complex UI given by the designer

Me: it’s done
Designer: the underline is off by 1px
Me: yeah , that how the css accommodates according to smaller screen , it’ll still look like the UI you gave on the bigger screen.
Designer : it hasn’t come out as expected , let’s change the UI and try something new here
ME (inside): YOU PEICE OF SHIT , you should have either spoken to me before designing the UI to know what could be done , or either be happy with the 1% different in the real UI and your “photoshop image”
Me(outside): as you say

OK I've just got an idea that I think would be quite neat:

How about a virtual rubber duck that sits in the corner of your editor? Just like the gem in old Word, if you remember. It's yellow and quacks sometimes, and nods understandingly when you talk to it (mic monitoring).

And it also monitors your typing and says (popup text bubble) things like:
"those parentheses doesn't look balanced to me"
"did you really initialize that variable?"
"you wrote JASON again"
"you forgot the ;"

You get the point.

I don't have time to implement, feel free to steal my idea and become a millionaire.

For the very first time, I uploaded my Gem on Rubygems. Open source time ! Yolooooo !

Shutdown you PC and go refresh to mountain.

Shit programmers annoy me... But It looks like I can make money from that....

P.s a website should never take 15 seconds to load .... Crazy

So, a few words about this setup :
- I am not Portuguese, my girlfriend got this poster while on a trip
- The second monitor is very old and uses fluorescent tubes. It's shitty and not stylish, but useful at times
- Yes, I use a standalone scanner. Every multifunction printer I've had ended up suiciding itself, and suicided the built in scanner with it. A standalone scanner should be indestructible.
- The case is open because I haven't paid much attention to fans and stuff, so it gets pretty hot when gaming
- Talk about gaming : I dual boot W10/Ubuntu but use the original Gnome DE with Adwaita Dark (I love it). However, W10 is only useful for Lightroom and games. When Steam released proton, I decided to start using Darktable for photo editing in order to ditch Windows once and for all. That will probably happen in the coming months.
- I have not wired my home yet, so I use a router as Wi-Fi receiver.
- The top of the desk is not the original one. It used to be a glass one, but I didn't like the feel and it was too small. So I made a wooden one and painted it with paint my father had left over. However, it ended up looking hideous and sticks to the skin when resting on it for a long time. It has to be changed/fixed.
- The headphones hanger is just a big ass screw, and the headphones jack has been fixed at least a dozen times. I even changed the cable two times.
- The mic is shitty but cost only 8€ on eBay.

I hate phonecalls so i rarely do them. Today my project lead called me with a question and he just couldnt hear me. This was my fourth phonecall in 2 years time with this phone. And everytime they couldnt hear me. After switching to speaker they do.

Today I found out that my pinky is blocking the mic since its on the left side of the charger port. I guess Ive got a phone for lefthanded people. I hope I remember this in six months.

!dev

Just sold my car waaayyy under it’s worth just because I don’t have much time left to relocate.

And those fuck faces want me to pay half of THEIR transport costs..

The both of us just signed a fucking contract you morons.
Read the contracts you write before giving them to anyone.

Good for me that I did.

Fucking unfriendly assholes trying to rip people off twice in a row..

They make immigrants look bad just because those guys are fucking idiots..

They didn’t get another penny from me those cock suckers..

And now, a good evening too all of you.

Just8littlebyte out! *mic drop*

Update !!
/**
I’ve been given the liberty to choose my job title by my HR,
Can you guys suggest a good one
**/

My current title is Sr. Product Engineer.

They have suggested product manager or technical manager , but I feel these sound bossy

/**
Any recommendations are welcome
**/

AI everywhere. AI camera, AI photo learning, AI recruiters, AI chat, AI search, AI AI AI.

i led yesterday's daily, since PM had no time and asked me to replace him.

in the beginning, i started the round with exactly the same words the PM always used, which made one of the Indian colleagues burst into laughing with muted mic

daily was held.
after the daily, 3 colleagues thanked me and commented on how awesome daily was, which made myself burst into laughter.

my theory is that people like daily standups where they are not steamrolled, interrupted and snapped at all the time.

Story from when game disks were in fashion
I asked my best buddy to burn a disk of GTA vice city so that I can install it on my desktop.
The next day when I receive the disk and insert it into my PC I almost fell of my chair laughing cause that douche bag had copied the icon from his desktop to the disk and burned it .
I almost fell laughing not because what he did , but because he did so when he was in his final year of his IT degree 🤣🤣🤣

As much as I love using a mechanical keyboard ,I fucking hate the taps it makes when others use it

It’s like this constant hammer,
FUCK YOU BITCHES , don’t fucking hit it likes there’s no tomorrow !!!

I've been using Ubuntu 14.04 since it was first released until this moment (June 2018). What a stable OS i've ever used. Thank's Linux, you're free & awesome.

Thank Mr. Trusty & Tahr

FUCKING FUCK ANGULAR!!!!
LIKE FUCK IT IN THE ARSE AND BURN THE MOTHERFUCKER WHILE LAUNCHING A MISSILE ON IT TO BE SURE!

(ﾉ≧∇≦)ﾉ ﾐ ┸━┸

So I am making something on angular and I got everything running in ng serve(development environment) , after handling all issues and showing it to my boss man he approves and asked to put it up on prod for a demo , doesn’t sound like an issue , I make the prod build on cli and BAM! 16 errors ? No issues right?, I’ll just google the issue. Googles.... there aren’t no clear solutions to it as the angular version keeps changing and nobody knows what broke it, I mean people have the issue,but like 100 reasons that can cause it,
HOLY LORD RELEASE A NEWER VERSION AFTER MENDING THE OLD ONE
But nooooooo!

Angular Dev:We fucked this one, lol what should we do boss man?
Angular boss man: lol just leave it, we need to build the new version with newer bugs,

P.S. I like angular, but it’s like a underdeveloped framework, too many issues and too many changes

I guess someone has been testing in production

03:00 am
Just coded for 12 hours.

One feature is blocked,
2 are ready for testing
And a third needs some development but actually has no task in the backlog,so that one is in limbo.

To bed
*drops mic

Tomorrow it will all be done.

When someone in my family start a wedding ceremony and I being invited to help, but I don't have any other skill other than googling javascript. So in that time I just realize I don't like being human because I'am uselless, better be born as mic stand.

“You want to know the answer to that” is the answer I got to my question about a piece of code...
I guess he thought he’s too good for the job.
The dude had decent amount of knowledge but was arrogant as fuck.
Every time I asked him a question he would react as if I was making him work without pay that too on a Sunday (it wasn’t)
P.S. fucker got rejected

SPECS:

- Dooge X5 max (worst phone ever, can't reccomend, randomly shuts off, displays advertizement, gets super hot)
- Bottle of coke light (so I don't get fat)
- Auna Mic 900-b (I used to do videos on youtube, though they were so bad i've deleted them lol)
- Two HP 24es screens (one of them broke when I let it fall while switching overheating cables)
- Mech keyboard with MX - Red
- Razer Naga 2014 (I regret buying that already)
- Wacom intuos small (I wanted to become a designer for a game with @Qcat)
- Computer with
CPU: ryzen i1600. 3.8ghz, 4ghz with boost, 12threads 6 cortes
RAM: 16 gig
Storage: 250gb SSD, 1tb hdd
Stickers: Generously donated by @gelomyrtol
Cooler: alpenföhn brocken
GPU: ATI 560 (something like that. I took the cheapest as I needed to fit a gpu into the budget, ryzen doesnt have integrated graphics units)

OS: fedora GNU/Linux with KDE as de (though i'm not sure wether i'll stay with it. I recently used cinnamon but it was too slow.

If i'm not on my desk, i'm either doing music studies, sleeping or i'm at school.

When on my deskj, I do
1) programming
2) Reading
3) watch nicob's danganronpa let's plays
4) programming.

My current projects:
clinl.org
github.com/wittmaxi/zeneural

Things that are no big deal but piss me off endlessly:

People who can't mute their mic in online meetings.
We don't need to hear your breathing, the constant "hmm"s, or the conversation of your room mate who doesn't use a headset and instead yells into the telephone on speaker mode all the time

Had to adhoc re-record couple sponsored TV-ads' voice overs and didn't have time to get to a studio.. True engineer always finds a way to make most out of the resources at hand.

Excellent sound btw, good mic + non-echoing 'recording chamber'. ;)

How we click notifs in devRant.

1-1. SOMEONE mentioned you in a comment!

1-2. SOMEONE commented on your rant!

2. SOMEONE ++'d your rant!

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

999. SOMEONE ++'d your comment!

1000. One (or more) new comments on a rant/collab you commented on!

Sorry creators, but..... (silence, drops mic)

<rant>So I'm new to the having-meetings-every-waking-moment-of-the-day thing... Just wondering if anyone is supposed to get anything done??
Or are we supposed to gather more and more work to do during each meeting?
The only times I've been able to do work is when I can mute the mic or say I'm in a "lunch meeting"!!
Does this happen to everybody???
</rant>

"Got a new soundcard yay, lemme Install it!"
*5 mins later*
"why won't it give me sound ffs, the input works just fine"
*5 mins later*
"Great, sound output works"
*taps mic*
"oh ffs..."
*5 mins later*
"yay, input now works"
*puts on some music*
"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME WHINEDOWS!?"

After working for months , I've understood that we should overestimate the time that will be taken to complete a task
But now it's getting annoying , I mean It's been a week I finished my project and am ideal ,

Btw, the project timeline was a week , ( I finished the work in a day )

When you don't know if you should start a developer tutorial channel. I have a good mic, 4 years dev experience and good editing skill. Should i?

I get anxiety when I have no work for days,

I am like the fuck is wrong with you body. You’re suppose to be chill, not a monster that wants to work all the time.

I recently joined to a company. I am recent grad. I was getting KT by my Manager during team on-boarding.

The manager showed me the tech stack they use for the application. It had the given logo.

My manager read it like this - "We also use Adobe here ....."

I muted my mic and laughed so hard, and now I am searching for jobs at some better company- where managers don't confuse AngularJS logo with Adobe.

So, you are telling me that I should motivate myself? For working in a dead end job with no scope of promotion, no imminent raise, ever changing job requirements, layoffs, empty cubicles, zero SDLC process in place, no oversight from upper management, it is somehow my fault for me being late to work everyday?

One of these days, I'm going to fling my resignation paper at your face and drop the mic!

Man, Fuck you son!

While attending an internal training session (some joining the meeting online and some present in the room), an online attendee did not mute their microphone and proceed to eat a packet of crisps/chips. And not softly, but like a horse.

We were also recording it, so now we can listen to it over and over ...

TL;DR
Don't waste your time.

My generation, 00, Mid-Millennial, GEN-Z are going through a lot of large societal, social, sociological, political, industrial and technological changes; i.e. life changes.
We are turning 18 and starting our own lives;
Work life is crazier than ever;
And the bar seems to be really high.

You could call generation Z the generation of depression.
A lot of us are having mental (and neurological) issues or find ourselves having a lot of breakdowns;
We are passioned on what we do, although we might not exactly know what that is;
The world is in our hands as we are in hands of the world.
( Refer to my previous rants. )

This might seem really pressuring or even distressing to you. It is.
But remember that there's a lot of us. We can make this lump of dirt and water a better place just and only with our collective power, before reaching further.

We are the information surfers. We can access more information than ever before.
Please don't try to limit it too much. The scandals that users of social media and modern applications have been making can be crucial to how our information infrastructures are built.
We are addicted, and if you take that away from us, we will suffer the consequences.

* Drops the mic *

So I ordered a blue yeti mic, mic arm and pop filter, to buy from Amazon Australia (the warehouse is a 2 hour drive from my home) it would have cost me $450 and arrived January 18th, I ordered it from Amazon US and paid 208 that includes shipping and import and it's arrives on the 10th.... Come on Amazon are you fucking serious?!

If you have a new Alienware, I highly recommend not to try installing Ubuntu on it. I can't even describe how many levels of hell I went through to get stuff working, and how every Ubuntu base update gives me a panic attack.
From Ubuntu not installing with RAID settings, then not being able to boot in GUI mode because Nvidia drivers, to built-in keyboard, speaker and mic not working.
Praise the Ubuntu lord, now everything is working, but I still can't adjust the rgb keyboard colors :(

Invested on this mic for my youtube videos

Detox for a couple of weeks.
Have been avoiding social media apps like Instagram and Facebook.

It’s day 3, already feeling positive and less stressed

Only downside is what to do in free time

When you make the whole damn game using c++ but you copy one tiny bit of code to use the mouse in graphics mode but they catch you and make you explain it to them and you can't...

This was back in high school when I was younger and dumber.

Fucking managers
Now I know why companies with shitty managers don’t grow

Me conversing with my senior as to how to make one of our functions scalable which around 10k devs would be using.

Manager walks in

Manager: how’s function x going

Me: great , will be done soon

Manager: you need to finish it by today

Me: can’t do it , too many sub functions need to be reconfigured( which was his job)

Manager: take *insert some managers asslicker’s name*’s help

Me: okay

We will finish it by today , but everybody know how “robust” the output will be

P.S. I didn’t argue because I’ve done that before and it’s like hitting your head on a wall. If you have read my previous rants, you would know

If you like breathing into the mic during a 60 minute conference call....for everyone's sanity, please mute yourself.

Just an update : never fucking install windows 7 on a new desktop without first reading , fucking piece of shit won’t detect my SSD , tried different solution over the Internet to no success, after 3 hours of nerve wrecking debugging I read a post on the Internet that “some”(not sure which) versions of windows just don’t detect an SSD,
Finally done by installing windows 10,
But nooooooo will windows let me die in peace, noooooooo
Every fucking time I restart my PC “ windows is installing updates
I mean fuck you , how fucking many bugs do you squash in a day.

Probably some engineer at Microsoft will be “ oops o dropped a donut on my keyboard, let just press ctrl + z” to undo changes and upload , lol “

Not just as a dev.. but as a person who does anything - getting over the mental block which keeps stopping you from taking up actual projects or completing them without abandoning them... the struggle is real... and I'm still struggling😅

I don't use templates, I write my own websites... from scratch! -Drops mic and runs to go clean up CSS and Javascript errors for all eternity-.

Me: Ok google
Google assistant: your mic is turned off

I think I'm getting old... I may buy an iPhone next because it "just works" and I don't care that much about gaming or need buy that many different apps...

Being deaf the voice transcription and better mic and camera... Now seem just worth the lockdown...

Thoughts?

If AI can create an email address, register to instagram, post a photo randomly based on AI feeling or conditions, then reply a comment. I will follow that account.

Please don't mutter your ideas on calls or trail it off mid sentence to mouse level's of sound 🐁.
It's so awkward having to ask what you've said every few moments.
*Especially* if we work together all day all week

N.B. speakers on max volume + auto-captions are already on so I can piece together what you said.

Conversations are so difficult otherwise

That is all

I've tried so many ways for that at night or during walk spark of bug solving ideas:

- fluorescent ink on regular paper
- florescent mini whiteboards
- "alexa remind me.."
- writing down in my phone
- recording on my phone
-..

But all of those due to my short term memory made me forget half the things by the time I opened the fucking phone/app, found where to grab the pen or the whole dance for alexa, to remember the exact phrase I have to spell out, when it should remind me, what time,..

Earlier today I remembered how I had a little tape voice recorder I used to use a ton, thankfully that tech advanced by now and found myself a stereo mic setup little voice recorder that can also act as an mp3 player!

Went for a walk today, while listening to some podcasts, then it hit me as usual on how to fix and implement some things that were awkward at best on paper when I left home, pressed the record button, recorded it and went straight back to music mode, which remembered where I left off!

I'm so indescribably happy, I ordered quite a bunch of the same to just throw around everywhere, at the bed, in the bathroom, kitchen, for walking outside, everywhere haha

every time I piss or shit during a meeting I start panicking in the middle that my bt headphones mic is on

Finally , dual monitor , too bad am going on a vacation tomorrow.

Been cribbing about a single monitor since ages (1 year)

That one about a month from now when I've had it and don't care if the mic is off or not.

It's was the forth year of my college, in the corner of the world in south India, I wanted to something to combine both medicine and the coding that I learnt, I started learning about heart murmurs, it's basically a skill based diagnosis that only 1 in 20 heart specialists can make by hearing the heart beat and listening to a small murmur that happens during the systolic cycle or the diastolic cycle. I wrote a program to learn a lot of sample murmurs and try to find (very bad hand made logic) the similarities between two wave patterns, the problem started with noise so I went out and built a new stethoscope with a carbon mic inside a normal stethoscope head and try filtering the sound at source (worked well enough at that time) I then tried to find people to test it on, but alas I was not able to find patients as doctors are not supposed to reveal them etc. I wanted to show them visually how a murmur pattern would look like and I stole some code and made a plotter for the wav file and presented everything. By that time I got a lot of close amazing friends involved and they helped me solidify the project and we won the best project award and I got my first gold medal of my life at the end of my academic life :) it was one of the best moments of my life. Second only to the joy of getting married to wife. May be third if I put getting a job in Microsoft India Development Center.

I still wish I could dig that code up and write it properly with what I have learnt today but work is never ending and I find great problems to solve everyday which I know I can make a difference, may be when I get retired I will dust out that CD with the decades old c++ code and write one last program...

Biggest sin
Due to lack of time, I named all the variables in my project without logic,
Like temp1,str1, function dojson etc

Lord be with the dev who's gonna work on that project

PS I am not a bad person, it is the time that made do such things

Every month I re-evaluate the code I had written previously to compare my progress in coding standards...
Turns out I need a time machine to go back in time and slap myself

A home designer ( a.k.a Interior Designer )

Ever since I got my home renovated 5 years ago, I love finding ways to make the houses look and feel better.

way back in highschool, for recitation i fixed a bug in the code written on the board with a very small change. feeling proud of my work, i did a 'mic drop'-esque thing on the marker i used.

my prof apparently did not see the change i made, said to the class something about 'having guts,stagefright,etc. he thought i really did not do anything, and just erased the whole thing. i almost lost interest in programming after that.

after college though, graduating top of the class and all, the school asked me to do their website, it was kickass and the board liked it.

months after golive, i came across the same prof in a party for celebrating the success of the website.
i will never forget that "in your face" smug smile i gave him, and the obvious stumped look on his face.

sorry if its too long, here's a rant potato (:/)

To all those geniuses who keep a finger on my screen to show me what they wanted to be changed ,you need to remove your fucking finger first so that I can see what you are talking about. I fucking can’t see through your finger.
Worst part is when they have huge palms that cover most of the screen

My pc has this weird glitch where anytime I install or uninstall a Steam game my headset microphone (Logitech G933) mutes, and I can only unmute it again after a couple of seconds. It's been this way for the longest time (though not always) and I have not the slightest fucking clue what could be causing it. Anyone else ever heard of something like this?

This cat is looking at me like how my manager looks at me when I say am gonna work a few extra hours of work because I like what I do...

Am the one who gave her the milk 😅

In my country ,
“Actors” are “Reality” show judges,
Think about it,
And let it sync in

Don't blame the teachers, they don't know the latest technologies themselves, they are mostly graduates, who have almost no work exp, so they might not know latest technologies or how to use em, neither do universities fund them to learn them
P.S. Not a teacher, just put yourself in their shoes

Fucking fuck !
I work with a senior Dev,
It’s pretty much like am working under him....
He’s like a great Dev no doubt about it

But !!!!

He’s a fucking dumbass when it comes to working in a team. He makes changes in my code without telling me. He says He forgot to tell me , every single time

When I ask him how a piece of code works , he says it’s pretty much obvious and acts like even a 6 year old kid Would know this ,
He doesn’t think 2 steps ahead before solving a problem usually creating another problem !

We were once working on a language which we weren’t very good at , so I suggested him to ask another Dev in our company about inputs on our code structure to which he completely Disagreed saying they really won’t know much and that he knows more than them..
Fucking dumbass thinks he knows more than most ...

I have tried confronting him multiple times but he feels but he just won’t listen...

Video conferencing apps:

Competition is great. It just sucks when you have to use all the competition.

Things I want to be able to do:

- Test Mic and Audio before joining the call, BOTH DAMN IT (some do do this, some just one or the other).

- No fiddling in settings to do test / change settings. I want to know / test every damn time before I join ...

- and it would be great if it forced everyone to test too ;) (obviously some complications there if folks are joining and don't intend to talk)

Things I to see all the time on the app, don't hide this shit, and GOD DAMN IT DON'T AUTO HIDE IT:

- Is my mic muted or not.
- Is my mic broadcasting sound or not.

I've been lucky enough to not have any terrible dork ups using these apps but man they seem to invite it by hiding stuff.

Does anyone enjoy their Windows development laptop? I fight with it so much. I would be happy to smack it hard with a hammer for all of the embarrassing things it has done in front of customers.

They are trusting me to build a multi million dollar system yet for some reason I can't join a Skype meeting, or my mic doesn't work, or the scaling on screen makes everything look oversized.

What am I supposed to say? "Trust me to build your system. I swear I'm not as retarded as I appear."

Lots of good suggestions up in here.

My personal prefference:

Such as there are governing bodies indiciating how a programming language evolves and a web consortium...there should be a computer science one. That dictates fundamental approaches covering everything that belongs to this wonderful branch of science. Everything from math to differenr scientific branches all the way down to turtles. And for it to be standarized and updated. Indeed, if you want to spend your entire existence gobbling js in the form of web sites then that is fine, but you should have sufficient knowledge to branch out into more academic pursuits if required.

Also, updated tools would be better, every aspiring computer scientist shall be able to navigate through all major operating systems and programming environments regardless of their beliefs and or prefferences and schools should provide said environments in their classrooms.

Data Strucrutes and Algorithms should be a must. Software engineering principles should be a must. Calculus, Algebra and Statistics as well as Physica should be a must.
And succesfully navigating over different engineering areas should be a must.

Not to cleanse the industry. Fuck your elitist mentality. If you think that programming is a sacred art that should exclude people then I really hope you fucking disapear from existence. No, not to cleanse. But to expand the industry and maybe show people that there is more than fucking around between node modules or gemsets.

Peace pendejos

**drops your mom's fatass...i mean mic**

I like a Product Manager/Owner/CTO who invites coffee when a dev burnout. This is not a story, a hope seems to be.

As we all know(or suppose) that Google is silently listening to us, is there any way to stop him without covering the microphone physically (I know it can be a suggestion)?

Like some trustable app to take the mic permissions so that Google will not be able to use that resource, or something else.

Ok so first off i cant get my damn mic working, despite every setting change i can find and every driver update i can do and every damn mic i've used. Then i try updating windows ten because maybe thats the problem, sure enough after i've done that my whole damn computer is messed up. Even opening folders or applications take between five and ten minutes. Not to mention i can't open my windows settings to rollback. I literally build and fix computers for a living and yet i have not clue what else i can do at this point. Think i might renounce technology and float off into the Atlantic on a plank of wood :/

Spent a day debugging low volume of audio record
Just now found a cause of issue
And it was
*drums*
Hardware fault
Mic in my OP5T is nearly dead after I dropped it recently
For fucks sake, why I didn't tested it in the first place

I feel that people give more importance to good portfolios and projects rather than college degrees in this day and age. I've come across many professionals (in different fields) who are self taught and who I feel have a deeper understanding that others who have degrees or Ph.D s. Does one still necessarily need to go to uni to get employed?

So I just installed Android 11 on my OnePlus 6T with the 18.0 release of LineageOS. Screen recorder built-in that can finally record system sound and play it too (there used to be a Magisk module but that couldn't play system sound while recording it, everything else is just through the mic) and some doodads like the selection for where to blast your music into has been moved more into view... Epic.

And then comes the Scoped Storage. Oh boy were the Android devs right to hate the guts out of it. It's so fucking slow. Seriously, on that exact device with Android 10, blazing fast. That storage is far from cooked. On Android 11.. have a directory with a thousand or so files, and it takes 5 goddamn seconds to open the directory with them in it. And even with external file managers that you give storage access like usual! Except when you root your device and use a root file manager, then it's fast again. Because that's using the shell instead.

I never thought I'd be able to say this to be honest. The shell is faster than the native tools. Let that sink in for a moment. The shell is faster than the native tools. How on Earth did Google think that this is tolerable?! For security, are you kidding me? Yeah I'll just use the root account for fucking everything in all that security, to have a functioning system!

Android 10 was also initially planned to have this terrible storage system, but due to developer backlash, Google waited a release and it was optional there. That wasn't just time for developers to adapt to Scoped Storage. That should've also been time for Google to actually make it usable.

Check! Mic check!

Why are some professors in uni so god damn incapable of teaching?

I am in the midst of one of the most important classes of my uni career, algorithms, and I've been paired with the most incompetent, uncaring piece of shit professor on gods green earth.

First off, his mic sounds like an absolute ass-blasted bic mac. Shit is awful. Sounds like a bass boosted ear-r*pe meme from youtube.

On top of this, his way of "teaching" is showing us pictures he took of his whiteboard from when classes weren't virtual. He then opens these pictures in MS paint so he can circle what hes currently looking at and draw lines and stupid shit across the screen.

WHY IS THIS ALLOWED. WHY ARE THESE INCAPABLE OLD FUCKS ALLOWED TO TEACH STILL.

Heads up , not a tech rant

So I now know what you should say if your kid asks what kind of person you should or should not be

So in the picture (sorry it isn’t clear , was taken late night after work) was a common parking area , the bikes parked you see are parked leaving space between at least for 2 more bikes. The owners usually park it that way cos they are too lazy to “properly park”. I confronted them last month and they said they’ll look into it , they have been contacted by various people from my area about this mattter , but it seems they don’t think it matters

So kids , learn to be considerate and not a douche bag , learn to listen and act , not act and listen , and last of all , learn to be a better person , that’s what humans have been trying to do for hundreds of years

Conference calls are all about playing the thrilling game of "Guess who's speaking?" 🤔🎭
The symphony of awkward pauses, microphone feedback, jitters, and the delightful sound of someone else's breathing into their mic. 📞🎶

Once upon a time, I'm in the process of going to a new job. But in the middle of the recruitment process, it turns out I don't like that company, for reasons I didn't know before.

Anyone have a good idea how to escape this pit?

*My CV has been thrown there

How the fuck do Jr devs end up doing things someone specifically asks not to do.!!!!!
Fucks timelines up

So I asked my Jr Dev to leave a feature as it might not be required in this release and rather concentrate on the thing that is gonna make this release work , the “SAVE” button.
I mean how had is it to understand,
This dude goes ahead and “utilises” days on the thing that isn’t gonna be released(a dropdown) , and no, the dropdown still doesn’t work.

I understand the spirit of solving the bugs first. But what’s the point of solving it if it doesn’t fucking “save”

P.S. I’ve done this too as a Jr Dev :p

Why do most CS videos on YouTube have to be explained by a person with a bad mic?

So if you’re planning on going to Antarctica sometime soon, well then don’t ,

Reference: earth.nulschool.net

Very useful!
It's not just about code but the whole package.
Watching great programmers fail miserably at project management, research, documentation, team leading and acting professional is just embarrassing, especially when they slate those who went out to educate themselves.

🎙️ Mic drop, I'm out!

Marketing Person: [email] The feature you worked on is setting our customers’s statuses to “transactional.” We can’t send them marketing emails.

😒🙄

Me: [email] My code is not doing that. It checks to see if a contact exists in our mailing list. If it does, it adds the contact to the new list that you requested. If it doesn’t, it creates a contact and adds it to the list. Newly created contacts default to “onboarding.” For already existing contacts, I’m just adding them to the list and I’m not changing anything else. Here’s a blog post from the marketing software company that explains how a contact could get marked as “transactional.”

Later in the day, Marketing comes over to my desk and brings over the Product Manager. He asks the same question. 😡 Oh hell no. You do not create a gang up on me and hope the social pressure changes my answer.

Me: Like I wrote in my email, my code isn’t wrong and it’s not malfunctioning. It’s doing what you requested: add users who submit their email on x form to the new x list. In the marketing software, you can even check each contact and see when their status got changed to “transactional.” It wasn’t from my code.

I really hate marketing sometimes. Especially when they think they know how my code works. Excuse me, do you have access to our git repo? Can you read the code and point out the supposed problem? I didn’t think so. So don’t go accusing me of making a mistake or doing my job wrong.

It took long enough for google to do something so basic.

So currently if you have provided mic or camera access to one of the apps, then it can also access those features while running in background..

Just woke up to see my mic and mount got sent and upgradeded to priority post for free!

Woooooo, can finally start doing some recording soon :-D

bundle.js

First XLR microphone setup, €265..
Sending my USB mic back.
I really hope im satisfied with the new stuff when it arrives.

Forgetting to switch the git branch from master to back to Dev after committing. If I had a penny!

Finally bought this.

Sound quality is awesome. Mic quality could have been better.

The best part about working on Someone else's UI bug fixes is that you get to look like a hero when you fix the bugs and make all their work look like a sham - asshole 101

Bitch!!!!
I have started to hate stackoverflow

I mean I asked a simple question about how to download a PDF over JavaScript. The question is marked duplicate and down voted.

How stupid can some dumbasses be? Yes a similar question was asked and answered
But..
The duplicate post they’ve marked used to work,USED to , that code doesn’t work anymore.

I mean come on I’ve specifically written I tried that and it doesn’t work anymore. But some fuckers just want to look cool by downvoting other.

Took my laptop in the toilet to listen to zoom lectures and i took such a huge and loud dump that besides my mic being unmuted they could also smell it

Just ordered my first Alienware laptop.
As much as I want to be excited , I know devices and laptops don’t last that long like they used to years ago

Devrant should have a "preview" image option for images uploaded on a rant. You could just end up uploading images of you and your vacuum cleaner doing some "cleaning"
@dfox

Mute your mic and turn off your goddamn cam while someone's talking in an online class FOR FUCKS SAKE!

Work from home, jerking off, ranting co-workers/bosses during an online meeting forgetting to turn off my cam and mic

I have tried so hard to add some dependencies on react-native (android). Always fails when build gradle, many dependencies are mismatch.
Go fuck my project.

Not going that extra mile to solve problems/errors myself and asking people to help me out.

So there is this thing called chirp.io which allows you to transmit data via ultrasonic sound. No special hardware needed. Only a mic and a speaker. I wonder why this isnt used in smart watches instead of BLE as it requires even less power. Probably because sound is less penetrating than radio waves??!

When do you know your code is documented well?

If writing anything more besides your code feels absolutely unnecessary.

When you start a new job, the company holds a costume party shortly after and you are persuaded to wear a reporter costume with a mic which looks like a vibrator more than a mic, but you play along to be a good sport

Just started working on Alexa skills ,
And I must say , feel like a dog lost in a pool of balls plastic balls, while am chained to a pole. So much I can do.. but there’s no documentation as to how things work
All the docs available are old, and I didn’t really understand how things are working

Oh for fucks sake!

Suddenly I couldn't use my mic. Windows is always a bit retarded, so I decide to restart. Ofcourse Windows FORCES me to install their shitty upgrades ("We have installed: Killer Control Center - check it out!" (Like hell I will!!)). This takes 5 min, which is usually not a lot of time, BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO BE IN A VOICE-MEETING DAMNIT!

Windows shaped up. Every thing works.

2 hours later: "We have an update for you, we will restart outside of active hours". WHAT?! NO! That means I can't leave my work up on my computer because I can't trust my fucking OS to not throw away my work! And also YOU JUST UPDATED YOURSELF WINDOWS!!!! HOW DO I TELL YOU TO PERFORM ALL UPDATES AND NEVER EVER RESTART WITHOUT MY PERMISSION!!!