I get anxiety when I have no work for days,

I am like the fuck is wrong with you body. You’re suppose to be chill, not a monster that wants to work all the time.

There's not enough time in life to be relaxed 😥

This is quite common, actually. At least with other engineers I know. My body refuses to let me relax.

Relax? Fun? Downtime? Chill?

I don’t know what these words mean anymore. I feel like if I’m not working I’m doing something wrong, and constantly expect people to yell at me for it. 🙁 I am legit confused when they do not.

Really, the only time I feel like I have earned any downtime is after having a 13 hour long productive session AND finishing some major feature. Ofc then I don’t have any time left and just want to rest.

I don’t know how to relax anymore. It’s a serious problem and I don’t know what to do.

With a lot of devs, although I haven't met many, I feel that there is always this underlying urge to be the best, and we get into really bad habits of pushing ourselves too far. If I force myself to relax and get out more, I find it easier to maintain a sustainable work pace and enjoy life more.