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Search - "mylife."
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Breakdown of a casual work day:
50%- typing the same commands over and over again in my terminal and watching things build.
10% - lunch, coffee, attending nature’s calls, staring into space enjoying the headphone music.
10% - googling solutions. Only to find that 3 minutes later you’re reading a wikihow page on how to moonwalk.
10% - talking to fellow humans
10% - typing my password to unlock my computer. Mac users exclusive -typing keychain passwords
5% - contemplating what will happen if you suddenly get up and start dancing. Will you start a flash mob?
5% - random thoughts continue...why am I here? Why am I not partnering with Daft Punk to release a single?6 -
Ok so I've been working on this bug for the past four days, fucking non-stop. I wanted to fucking die, was wishing I could just "pkill -f mylife". I tried fucking everything, did what the documentation told me to, stack overflow, tried different versions of the API, read through more lines of documentation than lines in the bible, to no avail. Start comparing screenshots of error logs from the past four days, notice that I started getting a line saying that it's connecting to the config file in a different location from default. I realize that the config file does not match the config file provided by the package installed, so I switch it to the default location. IT FUCKING WORKED, I've tested it nearly 10 times now and I am still in disbelief. It was a rollercoaster of emotions fixing the bug but now I'm just smiling like a fool in my chair at work now.6
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You begin on a side project, you get bored before it's finished and start another one. Repeat...
#mylife3 -
When someone in my family start a wedding ceremony and I being invited to help, but I don't have any other skill other than googling javascript. So in that time I just realize I don't like being human because I'am uselless, better be born as mic stand.2
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Bad: Delete your production database
Good: Have a backup
Bad: Can't reimport it because your backup procedure uses scheme that are no longer supported for import by your cloud provider
Good: Backup are plaintext and somehow easy to parse
Bad: Spending the rest of the day writing scripts to reinsert everything.
End of the story: everything is up and running, 8hours of efforts1 -
function myLife(time){
if(time.current() < time.alarm1)
sleep();
if(time.current() = time.alarm1){
wakeUp();
if(tired || hungover){
snooze();
sleep();
} else{
getReady(speed.Normal);
goTo(work, speed.Normal);
doMyJob(function(){
goTo(home);
});
}
}
if(time.current() = time.alarm2){
wakeUp();
if(tired || hungover){
snooze();
sleep();
} else{
getReady(speed.Fast);
goTo(work, speed.Normal);
doMyJob(function(){
goTo(home);
});
}
}
if(time.current() >= time.alarm3){
wakeUp();
if(tired || hungover){
workFromHome();
} else{
goTo(work, speed.Fast);
doMyJob(function(){
goTo(home);
});
}
}
}3 -
var myLove =0;
var myLife = 'you';
if(yourHeart =='Me'){
myLove =+1;
else {
myLife = null;
myLove = undefined;
}4 -
Was thinking of some missing features for everyone's favorite source control software:
git blame problems --all
git wtf this_branch
git just_do_it_ffs
git just_fkin_merge_it branch
git abort --mylife -
public class MyLife {
public static void main (String [] args) {
System.out.println ("My life sucks!");
}
} -
Class cleanBullshit() {
Function invokeAction(attr) {
If(attr==='sarahah' ) friend.remove();
}
}
Class private mylife() {
var per = new cleanBullshit();
per.invokeAction('sarahah');
}