Non-dev buddy: Dude I'm gonna report you to the tech department what are you hacking??
Me:

*Trying to finish up this project I'm doing*

Me: "Fuck this shit I'm done shit doesn't work"

*non-dev girlfriend sits in front of computer*

GF: "I believe this line shouldn't be here it messes up what happens in the loop. Or atleast that's what it looks"

*checking it*

Me: "So what's your ring size again"

Just found a "pro" app to learn linux... The dev used a non linux icon (windows dos) as the app icon.

Last night I caught my girlfriend on my phone.....
Reading devRant..
I asked her what she was doing, she replied "I wanted to see what you spend all your time reading, some of this is actually pretty funny.."
❤

Providing work estimation:

Dev: This should take about 2 weeks

Non dev: Really? But it's so simple. Shouldn't be that long right? I think it can be done in one week.

*After one week*

Non dev: Why is it still not done? I thought you only need one week?

I FUCKING HATE how I always have to prove my abilities twice to everyone just because I sit in a wheelchair!!!

I mean if the people on the street treat me like a child it's hard enough... they might just be afraid of the unknown or simply stupid... but at the office?
You know what I do for a living... What on earth would make you think you have to treat me as if I have some kind of cognitive disability as well?

I am going to roll/drive over the next guy who does something like that!!!

Sorry for the non dev rant but this had to get out

the advantage of dating a non-dev: she thinks I'm incredibly smart when I describe what I'm working on, when in reality I have no clue what I'm doing 🙃

Non dev co-workers: Dude add us on Facebook.

Me: I don't have Facebook.

Non dev co-workers: Instagram?

Me: I don't use Instagram.

Non dev co-workers: Oook, what about Twitter?

Me: I deactivated my account permanently long ago.

Non dev co-workers: Huh? So what the heck are you always looking at on your phone laughing and stuff?

Me: devRant!

Non dev co-workers: Huh?

Me: DEVRANT!! (*shows them devRant*)

Non dev co-workers: What the heck is that?

One of the co-workers: guys, he's a hacker.

Me: *face palm*

non-dev friend: what's devrant?

me: umm... it's like fight club for developers

Non dev friend: Do you know “hatamal”?

Me: wtf is hatamal?

Non dev friend: hatamal. Spelled as HTML.

Me: T.T

Do any of you guys or gals sit outside and code?

Since 2009 this has been my primary work place (even in the cold and rain), I go to the office for mostly non-coding work and have a pc inside for serious sessions but I'd say 80% of my heads down dev time is spent sitting here. A little quirk is when people call or Skype me they'll immediately say "I can hear birds in the background, where are you??".

Anyway, I'm moving soon and thought I should share while I still can ☺️

My non-dev boyfriend installed Python via the command line and ran a server to render a map of Pokémon in his neighborhood. I don't know whether to be impressed or scared 😂

Best thing about being a dev? Non techies can't question your reasoning.

Oh, and Dilbert.

Friend(non dev): Hey. Do you know how much it costs to maintain an app?

Me : Well that depends. What are you planning to do?

Friend: Something like Trivago. But small.

Me: That still doesn't tell me anything

Friend: Come on. Just give a number. How hard can it be?

Me: 42. *facepalm*

Friend: See wasn't that hard. Was it?

Me: *thinking* Don't correct him. Just let him be.

*Posting screenshot about random stuff*
Typical comment: Why are you using light theme, oooh my eyes 😨

*Posting something related to Windows*
Typical comment: Why are you using Windows, use Linux like "pro", btw I am using Arch 🙄

*Posting something related to IDE*
Typical comments: use vim, why are you using that

*Posting something related to Java*
Typical comment: Java is slow ( 🤮 ), use Python it's cool.

*Posting something related to JavaScript*
Typical comment: js is cancer, get rid of it and use {some_other_language}

Just a normal day on devrant 🤷

(not mentioning of course non dev related sick comments)

to be continued

When you're trying to explain a concept as simple as it can be to your non-dev family and friends, but they're just quietly staring at you.

Dev: I’m taking a vacation next week

Manager: Good you need a break! I’ve put together a list of tickets for you to action during vacation since you’ll mostly be free during that time

Dev: Do you know what vacation means?

Manager: Well I work during *my* vacation

Dev: You write non-answers to emails and interrupt devs with status questions that are easily answered by a single glance at the kanban board. Also, you’ve just assigned a month’s worth of storyboard points to me on my week long vacation. We’d get more work done if you didn’t “work” during your vacation.

Manager: Well it all needs to get done! It’s the only way we can catch up and get ahead of schedule.

Dev: Why do you exist again?

What non-dev team members don't understand is that when we tell them to wait while we're coding, we actually don't ignore them but try to finish the code before we forget what were we typing.

6 hours, with non developers, to decide on the font size of a website. Had to listen to 6 hours of pseudo psychological bullshit about how a 16pt thin Helvetica or something made people "feel".

And I'm a backend dev... I haven't written a line of css in two years... I only interact with the website through functional tests.

Non-dev friends are the best rubber ducks.

That moment when your girlfriend (non dev) solves your bug..

Non dev related: just made my first real steak 😋😍😍😍

Disclaimer: kinda non dev related. Just working to pay the bills right now.

The other day I ran for the train to work, don't want to be fucking late, right?

Arrived and this guy asked me this: (I have a sweating/transpiration problem but I'm fully aware of that)

"hey man, ever heard of fucking showers or deodorant?!"

Yes, I was sweating my ass off and you could smell me but I can't FUCKING help that.

It was very embarrassing and humiliating to get that kinda comment in front of like 30 people but I just swallowed it and went to work.

After the first break, a woman from management came to me and pulled me aside. A few people had complained about how that guy from before said some pretty humiliating stuff to me and she said that the guy received a warning and was told to fucking learn to treat people with respect, regardless of their (health) issues/appearance. I also got an apology and a sorry and if I could keep my eyes open for such behaviour in the future.

I'm very glad that she apologized although it wasn't her fault because I know I've got this health issue and I can't do anything about it yet but it can MOTHERFUCKING hurt when someone talks shit about me when I smell and I CAN'T FUCKING HELP IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE WAY MY BODY WORKS TOO BADLY.

I felt protected and safe about my issue for the first time in my life.

Thanks management!

Why do some non-devs treat professional app development like some kids craft-making hobby that requires zero skill and knowledge or brain?
A friend (with ZERO knowledge about coding) said to me today, teach me, or tell me how to learn this app development, I'll learn it within a month and make my own apps plus do freelance app work in free time, apps fetch plenty of money easily. Blah blah.
Not the first time, other non dev friends have talked in the same way on other instances.
It's insulting and infuriating. I don't even know what to reply.

Non dev related but: release my first track 😊

I'd love to create something which is near musical perfection for myself 😃

There's a couple of tracks which come close for me but not 99 percent yet.

Disclaimer: non dev related.

So I went to a festival today. What is the most stupid question you can ask at a festival?
And the winner is
And the winner is...

'why are you sweating?'

THE WHAT? ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?!?
DETAIL ONE: I'M AT A FUCKING FESTIVAL
DETAIL TWO: I'M DANCING MY ASS OFF
DETAIL TWO: EVERYONE IS MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUUUUUCK DANCING.

Mother of god, stupidity knows no fucking boundries 😲

Non-dev boss: "so, what are you working on today?"
Me: "I'm working on the API"
Non-dev boss: "that's what you said last week! Why aren't you progressing?"
💢

My first dev job. Me and another guy get hired at the same time. He will be the lead dev, and I’ll be the junior dev on a long term project. Project gets delayed (and eventually canceled, but that’s a different story), so the lead dev decides to give me programming challenges to test my skill level. I successfully complete the challenges, but they aren’t up to his standards. Belittles me in front of our manager. Afterwards I ask him to show me how he would have done it. The dude can barely type let alone show me the way it should be done. I say nothing to the manager.

A few weeks pass, it’s clear the project we were hired for is canceled, so we are given other work. They task the lead dev with porting the company website to Wordpress so non-devs can alter content. They chose Wordpress mainly because the lead dev said he is familiar with it. Two weeks later, no progress has been made. They ask me if I can do it, and I do it in 2 days including additional functionality that was requested. Manager asks me why I thought lead dev couldn’t do what I did. I said, “I don’t think lead dev knows what the fuck he is doing. I don’t think he knows how to program.” Manager says, “Huh.”

Several months later lead dev is still there, but has yet to work on any projects with any success. They finally let him go.

Glad to finally get that off my chest.

My first job was at a web agency. Non tech background, trying to transition into tech through frontend. Month 1: graphic designer, month 2: CSS guy, month 3: UI guy, month 4: in the frontend team doing react, month 7: leading the team, also doing some rails backend, month 9: full stack, month 11: leading web team.

How? Everyone else in the dev team left at month 7 lol. Literally thrown into the middle of the rainforest, fighting bugs by myself. But became so good at debugging and learning on the spot. Left at month 12 for a better job.

Very funny/random/weird partly non-dev related story that happened today.

We're selling our coffee machine at work since the coffee is gross.

Someone wants to buy it and wants it to be sent.

Coworker: just the general way through a package?
Other coworker: hmm yeah through post is fine
Me: POSTAL PIDGIN
other colleague: BY PENGUIN
Another colleague: BY LIKE 100 PENGUINS FLYING THAT THING THROUGH THE AIR WITH LIKE WIRES ATTACHED TO IT
Me: just hold on for a second and imagine this graphically...
Colleagues: damn that would be fucking genius xD

Yeah we're quite random 😆

I see software engineering mostly devolving to be simpler syntax, more widespread and reach more range of people, including non-tech ones.

That’s now obviously leading to more crappy javascript code, more abandoned frameworks, libraries, more shitty software and more dev rants.

*Opens a python script*
*A non-dev coworker appears*
Cw: Wow! What's that? A programming language?
Me: Yep, it's a python script.
Cw: It looks like some NASA's stuff. You guys are really crazy.
Me: ...

After trying to explain a problem I was facing at work to a Non-Dev friend of mine

Non-Dev Friend: Why did you even choose to become a developer in the first place?

Me: I didn't choose coding, it choose me!

Note to self: Never leave a non-dev person mid-way through a Windows installation. They'll find a way to fuck it up and then blame it on you.
//this one restarted his system mid-installation coz it was 'taking too long'.
Why is common sense in such scarcity?

That awkward moment when you open a terminal and the non dev person next to you thinks you're hacking him.

Dev related: To actually finish my projects instead of working on different ones, and end up finishing nothing.

I said I was going to create my own operating system. I started it, but barely. I haven't touched the compiler I was working on for months. Oh, and I'm working on an android app related to writing. I started it a while back, and never got to finish it.

My need to stop starting new projects, because if I keep doing this, I'll never finish anything.

Non dev related: To get my manuscript out of the slush pile, and finally published. It's currently in the dreadful querying process.

!dev

Me *downloading some weird linux distro to test in VirtualBox - I only do this once a month for like 1 hour*
my brother: Oh my god! Are you downloading something again? Moooom he is downloading something non-stop

every day:
my brother *watching some series/YouTube videos/playing ping-sensitive multiplayer games - all the fucking time, everything he does all day is this + eating and sleeping*
me *retrying multiple times to load anything, including devRant* 😒😠

tl;dr: thanks! :)

I just love this community.
The idea of devRant is great. The emotions, the shared knowledge in each post. Never seen such densely packed quality content in a social media! :D
I enjoy spending my time here, though I do not post that much. Reading just about the life of @linuxxx, @gitpush @alexDeLarge (to name a few) share with us is just wonderful, it makes me happy! :)

I think this post is meant as a thank you, I guess? Just felt like it... hope you guys don't mind having read a non-dev related post.^^'

btw:
@dfox and @trogus, you guys are awesome as fuck!

That moment when your non dev friends are talking about V8 engine, and it takes you a few moments to realize they are talking about cars.

Non-dev activity that made me a better dev?

That's an easy one.

Playing the piano. Or better: learning to play the piano.

(With the help of my teacher) I developed many skills that help me learn faster and I learned how to properly use and organize my time.

A non-dev friend just saw the "free santa hat with each duck ordered" announcement on my screen and he is extremely confused 😂

Company: We were able to save a couple of dollars by purchasing an entire fleet of ipads instead of iphones through our supplier!

Dev: Our users walk around an industrial facility carrying things all day, how will they carry these devices now that they no longer fit in their pockets.

Company: We can get them backpacks!

Dev: …

Dev: did you at least buy protective cases for them?

Company: We have to save money! Don’t worry we told the users not to drop them. Plus none of the old iphones were ever broken so this is a non-issue.

Dev: The iPhones are in cases, they drop them quite a bit.

Company: Oh, well they shouldn’t be doing that!

** They proceeded to buy the cheapest knockoff cases I’ve ever seen. At least one ipad is smashed a week now, backpacks aren’t used because of lack on convenience. All this in the name of seeming to shave off a couple bucks for a one time purchase that didn’t even need to be made, iphones were working perfectly fine. Meanwhile there are glaring issues at the company getting ignored because they get themselves continually distracted by unhelpful pet projects that address things that are not broken and often make them worse.

Made my non dev bf watch Silicon Valley and he likes it so we're binge watching 😍

If I spend 50% of my time in meetings, 30% of my time doing things for support/helpdesk which I'm not allowed to automate, 10% as a technical consult and 10% helping other devs... am I even a developer anymore?

My non dev friends don't understand how I need a daily calendar reminder to each lunch with or I will forget to eat until about 3 or 4pm. At which point the hunger pains have gradually become painful enough to break me out of my coding stupor.

Non-dev thing that made me a better dev?

Music, and trying to learn music theory. I was never very good at it, still am not, but the harder I try at this, the easier programming becomes...

I need to take a break..
I've been wotking on my game non-stop for the past 8 days from 7-10am to 11pm-2am..

But there are alot of problems in my current repo, and i have ALOT of code to re-rwite..

(also i'm the only dev x.x)

non-dev (but still in IT) friend: *sends meme* "I don't get it!"

me:
int ThingsToBuyFromGrocery()
{
int milk = 1;

if(store.HasEggs())
{
milk = 6;
}

return milk;
}

friend: "Woah! You're so smart!"

I learned a valuable lesson today about the life of a manager. I’m not a manager, but I am a senior level dev.

Today I was told there wasn’t room on the new team for 1 person, and I had pick that last team member. I had to choose between a friend who really isn’t cut out to be a dev and a non friend who is a better dev.

I talked through my reasoning and ultimately chose to put the friends job in jeopardy. They told me that I had solid leadership traits for being able to separate my emotions from my decision making. But I felt like a piece of shit.

I cried back at my desk. The friend doesn’t know yet and I can’t tell them. Is this what execs feel when they have to let people go?

Last week one of my non-dev coworkers asked if any of us knew java and I was like "yeah, think I can help you" then she showed me her JavaScript issue and I was like:
"Wtf, people really do this shit..."

Got fired for asking for a restructuring of the workload and/or more non-foreign, in-office devs. I was the only dev for dozens of projects.

There are so many awesome dev jokes and puns here, i want to share them all with my friends. But i know none of them would understand whats so hilarious about them :(

I, my dev friend and a non dev friend were having a deep Philosophical chat
NDF - while we are here on earth, we should give something back to the mankind
DF - Yeah man! (sarcastically pointing at me) But this guy never gives anything to anybody
Me - Oh I have contributed a lot to the mankind. You should check my github profile.

Needless to say two of us burst out laughing while one was giving blank stare.

Taking a dump and showering are my number one non dev activities. They help to clear your head and when your head is empty you will get the best ideas and solutions.

Old story, and yeah, it's all true, I shit you not!

So here I am at about age 11 (more or less). At the time, I had an almost brand new 333MHz beast, with 8 MB RAM, 2 (!!!) MB video card and (I think) about 300 MB of storage (yeah, I'm old :)) ).

Connected to this monster was sitting a 14" CRT monitor, mechanical keyboard and a 2 button, ball "powered" mouse.

There was no optical tracking tech at the time.

One evening, I notice my mouse starts lagging. Test it to see if Win95 is stuck. Nope, just mouse problems...

Fiddle with it a little, and at some point it stops working at all.

My room was dark now, so I got up to turn on the lights, sat down in front of the PC, and moved the mouse by instinct.

Surprise! It's working again!

My brother comes in and turnes off the lights. Mouse non responsive.

I tell him to turn them on again, mouse works again.

At this point, we were both scratching our heads at this mystery...

I decided to confirm it again using a desc light.

Conclusion: my 2 button, ball tracking, non light sensitive mouse was working only if light was shining directly oh it AND on my 14" crt monitor at the same time!!!

To this day I have no ideea why.

I kept them both for posterity, and they are still there in my parent's attic.

Fin.

I hate sharing something that I made and that I think is super cool with my non-dev friends and then they're like "yeah so? doesn't look that hard."

😒😒

My favourite non-dev hobby: Waste time watching Youtube videos...

Me: I wanna talk to my friends!
Non-dev friends: hey! We're on facebook!/instagram
Dev-friends: Maybe slack? Telegram?
Others: Whatsapp! Skype!

Result: lots of social media apps and considering new friendships

Best : I moved on from Dev to SecOps and got a well paid job in a small company closer to my home. With three office dogs.
Really, the dogs are the main thing there. The money is just an additional benefit.

Worst : my Dev life keeps getting less and less relevant for me. In the last two years, I started volunteering a lot (local volunteer fire department and then some), investing into several side businesses that start paying off now, generally doing as much non-dev stuff as possible.
I wanted to do this since I was a kid, I'm good at it, but I keep finding other things to do, because they're more interesting and more of a challenge.
Honestly, the one thing that keeps me in IT is sunk cost fallacy.
Hell, I'm thinking about becoming a paramedic or something, at least I'll be helping people instead of entertaining managers.

I'M TIRED OF HEARING THAT DEVELOPMENT IS NOT A CREATIVE FIELD! Creativity is emerging new ideas from non-existent ones. It is not confined to pretty designs or well-written copy. Sure, devs are logical problem solvers – but not a single dev will solve those problems the same way. Code is like the paint on our dark-themed canvases and you can see yourself out if you think devs are just robotic coding machines

Today I noticed that my first name on my Apple Developer Account was totally wrong, even though the name on my Apple ID account was correct. Trying to fix the wrong name sent me to the Apple ID Account page with the already correct name. I contacted support.

It turns out the developer accounts pull info from your Apple ID at creation time, AND NEVER AGAIN. WTF? So you can not make changes to your dev account, because they are non-updateable..

The fix? Sending a copy of a photo ID to the supporter BY FAX?!?!? This is Apple we are talking about.. in 2017.. I don't know anything anymore

Even when you might want to work for a non-profit, don't sell yourself too short. Dear developers, I ask you kindly to never accept these kind of salaries.

That entire range is an insult. Esp. with the dev stack in mind.

Just saw an advert with the tag line similar to "An API built by developers, for developers"
Which makes me wonder. Do non-devs build APIs? How does that work?
The same to using APIs. Surely some dev knowledge/experience is required?

Never ever try something like this...

I had the privilege of showing my non dev roommate the beauty that is dark themes.

Oh I have a good one.

A dev once was added to the team -he deleted all of the whitespace from the backend code (minified) and called that optimising. We had a lot of back and forth and me reverting the things back to non minified and him back to minified on live environement. I shit you not i had to endure that shit and he kept on insisting that I'm the shitty developer because I don't know how to optimise. I'm starting to rage even thinking about it....

Non-dev colleague: "You won't understand how hard is my job until you walk in my shoes."
Me thinks: "I don't think so, but my code probably will."

I appreciate all of your suggestions to improve devRant but I've a counter suggestion to make. Please do not post silly ideas. We should not try to make this community another Facebook or Twitter. Let's keep it simple and plain. We're better than non-dev users in many ways.

Nowhere near my worst co-worker, but still funny.

The Dev team were all in a separate glass walled room with the business & support staff out in a bigger room outside. As is our wont, we wore headphones while working a lot.

One of the non technical folks asked me why and I said it helps me focus by keeping out distracting noises.

"Oh, I thought you were listening to code or something"

😮

It was kind of an eye-opener as to how little clue a person sitting just 4 meters away had of what I did or how I did it. And actually it helped explain some confusing interactions...

Non dev activity that has helped...

Erm, working in retail stores for many years before deciding to take a serious look at devWork as a full time job rather then a hobby.

Has helped make a great base knowledge to what customers expect and what sales people expect a platform to be able to do which just makes things easier in an over complicated environment 🤣

I got my work permit to Canada, really happy!

I hate it when your non dev friend uses top notch hardware and I am stuck with a piece of shit junk

nothing like being interviewed by non-devs for a dev role. the words experience and samples go right out the window and all they care about is do you have a degree because a piece of paper proves you can code and not your actual code. smh

Holy fuck I did it. I convinced my non tech manager not to do code QA after he brought the whole system down approving things without testing them and getting devs to make changes that caused bugs. Don’t get me wrong he threatened to fire me twice during the conversation but I dunno…I think I’m just about ready for my second dev job anyway ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.

Getting inappropriate non-dev results for dev search queries always makes me happy

Reading books, not sure if you can even call it a non-dev activity since it is essential in my opinion but reading improves my programming skills everyday!

Feels like I found value of "NAN"
i.e, finding non-ranter dev @ devrant!
"Write no rant
Comment no rant
++(view) all rant "
@Ghored
I guess he should be given a badge or something!
Never able to achieve that stage of satisfaction,
Bsod in windows,
Grub rescue for Linux,
Gradle build problem for android,
404 errors,
What not ?
Yet I really feel like today , I met a ironical legend of dev community!
A full bow to you my friend

My non-dev friend: What is this app about?
Me: The community who called # sharp.

1. Visit the official site.
2. Browse for official tools.
3. Check the official documentation.
4. Check the Internet for other non-audiovisual sources.
5. Try making a simple application.
6. Run out of application ideas.
7. Move on to the next shiny dev technology.
8. Go to step #1.

After unpacking my stickers and stress ball today
Non-dev colleague: What's devrant?
Me:

Few months back, one of my good but non-dev friend came to visit me.

He: I've done a website in HTML. Can you help me make it responsive.

Without a second thought, I agreed.

*Opened the file in editor*

<tables> <tables> <tables> <tables>

I kicked him out of my house without a second thought.

!rant but emotional

Work is significantly less terrible than it could be because I have the best teammates and i can come rant here and be understood. My non tech friends just ask why I don't quit if I "complain" so much. My dev and tech friends are all together at another company and have releases every week they're working on. I appreciate you all and am happy I found this community. 💚

I've been waiting for my girlfriend to try some clothes for the past 40 mins and we were still in the first shop. I swear it's been 2 days since we arrived at the mall.

I just want to finish my first​ vuejs project (vuejs from a back end dev perspective is simply awesome).

Not a true devrant but a rant non the less. Save me devbrothers

My rants have been too long lately. Have some distilled ire instead.

Fuck computer gremlins.
Fuck non-deterministic BS.
Fuck shit working the third fucking time I try it with no changes in between.
Fuck MojoJojoing
Fuck ExecJS laoding only half the time
Fuck RubyMine for fucking up seven times a fucking day.
And fuck this dev environment!
I just want to fucking work!

adfjlkasdly

“Fullstack dev morphs into a security expert”

We have a simple user registration system. Get the user details, generate an OTP, save in Oracle, email the OTP. The SMTP host is configured to send emails only to people who have an existing @a_very_famous_bank.com email address.

As a part of an enhancement request, the other day, we were trying to register a non-bank email address. As expected, it failed.

Manager: Meeting... meeting... meeting

Me: (Explained the problem)

Fullstack dev: so the thing is.. it’s like.. (doesn’t falter to open with these lines)...what I can do is...I can send you an HTTP security header in the HTTP request. It’ll work!

Me: (I hope an adult giraffe fucks you in your belly button)

More to come!

Dealing with non-dev people.

*spends day working on really hairy JS problem*
Boss: How is this any different from yesterday's product?

*cranks out an hour's shitty HTML*
Boss: Good job today, I'm impressed!

So you know how a polite request may be phrased as a question, eg. "May I have seconds?". And how an appropriate answer for such a question may be a simple request, indicating the answerer's desire for the inquirer to be at ease, eg. "please do."?

So today my non-native ass had the following exchange:
her: "I'd love to keep you company but I have to call a friend who asked me dearly to call him back when I get home."
me: "please leave"

I see loads of students here.. and loads of freelancers and startup joiners.. all varieties...but one.. Anyone has a 'normal' 9-5 or sth (dev) work? Does that even exist?! Anyone stands up when the 8h are up and can leave the work behind?
I can't.. even when I leave the office I have algos & code stuck in my head..trying to solve the problem I worked on..

How do you handle non dev life? Is there anything left in a day?
I usually work monday-friday on avg 9h/day and have no idea how to manage not being fucked up at the end of the week. :\ I am trying to get back climbing, but usually I am just soooooo tiiiiireeeeeed after work.. I wanna sleep but when I close my eyes I see the code.. at least one core still left working..

My non-English-native-speaking dev brothers and sisters, the proper preposition is "for" not "since" when speaking about a length of time. For example:

"I have been studying CS for 2 years."
"I worked at Google for 6 months."
"This house has been on the market for 4 weeks."

I think some ESL class has been teaching everyone improperly.

Worst dev experience was when I was asked to "take a look at" a propriatery Windows app built by a now non-existent team at the company.

The code base resembled the quality of legacy code where about every hour I felt like I needed to vomit. But that wasn't even the worst part for me.

This was the first time I had to develop on Windows and was sent a separate dedicated laptop for this. Now I started to have a bad feeling about this because as far as I had known every single dev at the company used company Macs for development (including me for other projects). It turned out the Windows laptop was indeed configured for a non-dev team :)

Having liased with IT admins for a day I finally got my environment set up and hit install on the dependencies and in 10 minutes it got to less than 10%. The laptop was pretty powerful so I couldn't belive wtf was going on, fans were ramping. Checked task manager and the company Anti-Malware was hogging the whole CPU.

I was so mad that I managed to get the IT admins to completely disable it and then it was only the pain of working with shitty code on Windows which would have been more than enough from the start. Thankfully it only lasted a week.

When dev who insists on using their own vbox rather the officially maintained vagrant package asks you to debug a non-code issue...

Friend of mine who is not a Dev and loves to go out sees me few days ago with a couple of Dev friends...

Dude what's going on? Dude dude let me tell you about this chick... 1 hour later story ends. We gave him respect as one Dev should to a non dev and started talking about IDEs and how the new VS Code is pretty awesome.

He interrupts and goes ... that chick Venesa Code, is she hot? Would you?

Silence ... We would, we all would.

Your favourite comment?

My team was working on a legacy system, one part of it is an assistant, sadly required as global variables.

Being a non-english-first-language company, some dev years ago thought shortening said assistant to "ass" would be a wise idea - less to type, right?

When we redid the application 2016 part-by-part, our code needed to define 3-4 global variables starting with the "ass" prefix for the legacy parts to work. The colleague who was tasked with this is a fine gentleman from England.

Later as I read through the commit, I found 5 lines of code following 20 lines of comments explaining and deeply apologizing for "ass", "ass_open", etc.

The same dev also had a "HACK OF THE YEAR" comment he moved around when time constraints made a less-than-optimal fix necessary which was worse than the last "highscore".

I need to show this to all the non-programmers on my dev team to make them realise...

Today in a meeting, a non-dev analyst who frequently uses SQL mentioned in passing that he uses Excel as a text editor for his SQL code. I don't know what he said after that because I wasn't able to get past the fact that Excel is his go to text editor.

2018 dev goal #1: ✔️

This week I learned Python 3, as in most of the syntax. Not yet any development, but that will come tomorrow onwards.

Oh, and I hate the funky type system, which is almost non existent and so flexible that I don't know if it's just bad or I simply don't see why I should want it this way.

Please enlighten me why you think Python is great or just plain snake crap.

Did I mention snake case being common practice? And that Python doesn't know real private properties, methods, etc.? How does that work?

I hate it when non-devs (HR, Customer Services,..) treat developers as if they're some type of 'weird non-humans'.
Whatever gives them that pretentious right to just label people like that? There are developers with emotions and humanity too!

Getting a tour today at my new job (non-dev related, just pays the bills). it's quite a travel AND RIGHT ON THIS FUCKING DAY THE PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION PLANNER IS GIVING 500 ERRORS. FUCKING FUCK FML.

Alright, I've had it. I was scrolling through Walmart when I saw a kititchen utensil holder with a BLUETOOTH SPEAKER? Who needs this? It probably doesn't even sound that good. I am getting tired of people slapping a Bluetooth speaker in random objects. Someone gave me a Bluetooth flower pot for Christmas. Why do you need a bunch of low quality speakers in random objects? I don't get it.

Non dev trying install OS on his machine. How it's even possible.

Why a non-dev has access to reboot servers....?

why.....WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!?

Dear software developers, I realise, as a dev myself, the need for auto updates for security and stability, but, outside of only a few niche circumstances, are they really necessary on a fucking *daily* or even *hourly* basis? Congratulations for fixing that minor specific non-crucial bug that 99% of users have never encountered, and I'm happy you're maintaining your code so diligently, but couldn't it wait until next Sunday? By that time I'm sure you could combine the update with all the other minor fixes you'll come up with the interim.

And I wouldn't have to click my way through this shit every time I open the app

that moment when a (non dev) colleague, understands how a single character (in the entry point) can break the whole website

next time i'll explain him why websites like devrant exist..

Studying in my shitty non-dev job...hoping for get a dev job soon... very nice book 👌

Hmm... I should make some non-dev friends. 😆😆

When your non-technical manager calls you 18 times in a row at 0730 on a Sunday, you know there's a problem.

When the first thing said when picking up in your free time (after being woken up on said Sunday morning) is "why did you not answer earlier", ... ...

Ps. He was using the Dev link, not the production link.

PPS. This was a little while back now but felt like sharing 😂

Just saw a role advertised for a front end developer. Skills required amongst other things·
· Integrating with middle-tier microservices such as NodeJS

· .NET Core (2.1+), C# 7.0+ and JAVA

· SQL Server, T-SQL, MySQL

· Azure Dev-ops

There are other standard and expected front end requirements but want someone with 4+ years experience

Salary £19,000 - less than two thirds of the national average salary for non UK folks.

Applications: 0

Hmm I wonder why

!(!(!(!rant)))

When you're using a sophisticated software and you've shown your work to your non-dev friends and they say "Wow! What APP did u use?"

Furk it! App sounds like a small icon on your mobile phone to take a selfie putting a dog filter to post for everyone to see! You call this tool just an "APP"? May Zeus forgive this blasphemy.

destroy(rant);

My favorit non-dev activity that has helped me alot is SLEEP

🐑🐑🐑

Worst thing about being a Dev:

Getting forced by a non dev for a timescale without even being allowed to look at the issue. Then being held to that made up deadline!!

When I worked in a non-dev env, the best part was that I was done with work after working hours. I didn't stress out or even think about the issues. It was something for tomorrow or someone else to worry about. And so, I was not mentally exhausted and stressed out all the damn time.

So, I shall try to bring that mentality to my dev life too. With this new position I'm starting soon, I really want to do well for at least a few years. And that would need me to chill the fuck out. Particularly after work.

relationship between a dev and a non-dev! 🙇

"Non-devs never call Steven Spielberg to have their TVs fixed."
But sure they MUST call a dev to update their Android, iPhone, Windows, installation of Anti-virus, data recovery, malware removal, to shortlist 20 laptops from market, ask for what printer to buy, why is there a weird animation in Android sometimes, come borrow my WiFi, have their phones and computers fixed, RIP old audio CDs (yes!), fix Bluray, fix anything electronic, repair their bike, teach them science, politics...
This While True loop never escape.

Parents had asked me to assemble some furniture, fix the pc and so some other "brain" work

Furniture
Me: *Stops to check something in the manual*
Parents: Are you stuck? Maybe try assembling the door upside down
Me: No, it is the right way
Parents: *Ramble, ramble*
Me: Just let me work, shut the hell up

PC
Me: *Checks cables, checks logs, ect*
Parents: Maybe it is the problem with (insert random tech word there)?
Me: No.
Parents: W h y?
Me: Let me finish, it isnt that, (tech word) isnt even correlated to that
Parents: But, but, you never talk to me... (ramble ramble)
Me: Get the hell outta the room
*Argumemt breaks out*
30min later

Me: *Finnaly manages to fix it after the heated argument*
Me: I finished, everything works
Parents: Great, but you are mean
Me: I managed to finish the work in 15 min, you dont even have enough strengh to call for a specialist, (but knowing me i wouldnt allow it anyway because a lot of them make a poor job), so in order to make it properly and to relieve you from learning how to fucking google i want you to stay out of this so i can just finish my job. Your interruptions waste time and i dont need your help at all. Everytime you tried to fix stuff you always managed to fuck shit up when you tried to do anything.
Parents: (ramble)
Me: SHUT THE FUCK UP, LEAVE MY ROOM
Parents:
Me:
Parents: *Leave the room*

1h later i get 25$ for the job perfectly done

Sometime i wish they were tech independent, so i can save my sanity and time but money is nice.

If anybody tries to argue that i should respect them:
I tried talking to them nicely countless times through years, but they always force themself to a project and they always fuck shit up because of it. I tried telling them about my problems and they tried helping me but after it didnt work they retured to the old: "it is the pc fault" and similar. Even if they couldnt help me i juat wanted them to understand my situation, but no that didnt happened.

First i fix my life then i will fix the relationship

But but greeeeeg, relationships should be cared for always!
Eat shit. There is time for family and there is time for me especialy when my life can suddenly colapse due to my problems.

!rant
Had a conversation with an non-dev acquaintance today...he was telling me my job was in danger because of the rapid advance of AI...that soon the client will just specify what he needs and the AI will create it.
Yeah...just one small problem...the client never knows what he wants...as long as that client is human I'm pretty sure we're safe

A senior developer would ask me to drink in the bar where we talk about dev and non dev related stuff, almost every night after work

When I thought I had bricked my HTC Hero while trying to load a custom ROM and it just didn't boot. I had a real eureka-moment late that night when I understood the whole process and successfully flashed it in a non standard way to get it back working.

I haven't thought about this for a while and it wasn't really dev-related either more than problem solving. That moment was also realisation that I both love and hate technology.

In one of my teams there was this non-IT girl.
One morning, she asks out loud:
G - Can I run a Json?
Me - Wait! What are you trying to do?
G - I need to deploy my changes into the Dev server.

Suddently I realized what she meant.
Me- It's Jenkins! Not Json. :D

non-dev activity? why any should do activities like that? code only.

Just got a rejection email from the only interview I’ve gotten.... I know it’s normal but I feel so dejected and imposter-syndromey. When I get rejected from a non dev job it doesn’t make me question my ability, but because this is the first time sending out dev resumes it’s so daunting and I feel useless😞

I absolutely love the dev community but one thing I just can't stand is the snobbery that permeates it. I don't understand why some devs expect non devs to know or understand the intricacies of computer programming or even computers in general when it's really not their job to do so.

"Ahhhhh!! How DARE this non dev PEASANT ask me about hacking Facebook accounts!! Does he NOT understand the basics of DNS spoofing and social engineering!!1!!1! bahh"

Was talking about Linux distros and on a chat group.

Me: So I got 30 gigs left. Where do I put it?

Friend: SSD's probably go to root. Don't give em to home.

Non dev friend: Did you guys just talk about drugs?

!Dev

So Malaysia also famous for police brutality against the non Muslim or non Malays. I recently tweet about the more cases of police brutality will increase day by day. A Malay man replied it is a part of duty of the police to do so. This really confused me. The last time I checked we as a citizens have the right to sue the police if they brutally force us to do anything. And also last time I checked the policemen in my country, just raped a Mongolian girl who is underage and the high court let them go freely. The Malay man replied to me that quite "YOU ARE OUT OF CONTEXT! GO BACK TO CHINA!" Well personally, my ancestors weren't from China , I will go back to Mongolia if I have a choice.

Fuck today and fuck every piece of shit manager and non-dev coworker that thinks they contribute anything meaningful besides being a fucking idiot and making things complicated. I hope my team, except for the other devs, jumps off a bridge into a valley of dicks and spikes. I hope my client tells them to personally fuck themselves for being such a useless waste of space. Fuck off and die cunts.

So, here is the worst experience, not one.. but recent two of many of the encounters I had with my OOP teacher... (I am in Second Year of Engineering). Lets Call him T.
To give a background of T... He knows nothing but acts like he is the master... you'll get to know this...

Incident #0:
*me developing a website for a client and T just bumps in*
T: Hey, what are you upto.
M:Nothing sir, just some Web-dev stuff.
T: What languages do you use?
M: I am currently using embedded ruby.
T: No no, I meant, what languages do you use for web-dev?
*inner* M: Ok, try to act stupid... He is not worth of all the knowledge.
M: Sorry sir, I just use simple HTML-CSS.
T: Ohh, I use Wordpress... It's a great language to build websites.
*inner* M: He has no idea what WP really is, he is a fuckshit.
T: It's so simple and easy, that you code for Desktop view, press Ctrl-M and then it automatically makes it for mobile view.
*inner* M: Bursts out into laughter
M: OK sir, will look over it.

Incident #1:
*He is teaching, suddenly topic comes of Oracle Certification for Java*
T: I know many of you have idea about java, but do you have what it takes to be an OCJP..
*inner* M: LOL...
T: It is a really hard thing, and I can bet... I can bet *he did repeat that twice* that no one from you can even qualify OCJP.
*inner* M: It's time... It's time
M: Excuse me sir, first of all it's OCA... OCJP does not exist anymore... And secondly, I am an OCA...
*inner* M: Yeah... Fuck you bitch!
*assucimg inner* T:Fuck, asshole..$#@#%@!@$@%#

And whole class was like -> o.O

Fuck my boss.
He's making me do non-dev work that I'm absolutely not qualified to do and he's even writing to me on Slack to make me do some of it outside my working days.
I'm getting so fucking anxious whenever I'm trying to work with this shit because I have no fucking clue what exactly am I supposed to do.
FUCK

Tired of non-dev co-workers talking to me like I work for them. They better be careful. I'll code their computers to do their jobs for them.

Oh my fucking God, the non dev we have on our team has no indentation or syntax filter whatsoever. I wouldn't be surprised if she has an unmatched or unclosed bracket somewhere. I'm gonna have to go in there and clean that shit up.

CTO for the picture.

This is so real, people are having a bad time because of the covid-19, productivity could be affected by this, my colleagues are having a hard time since they cant realy separate work from work anymore, the situation is hard as it is, i hope we all get through this.

Please Give Loving Comments below so i can show this to my dev/non dev friends that are having a hard time.

So i am a diabetic and carry an insulin pump. Now being in India, the pump is not covered by insurance (for some god forsaken reason that I don’t know) and therefore is not a common sight here (contradictoraly India has a major diabetes problem). So I was at the metro station going through security check and the security personnel asks me what the pump was and asked me to show it to him. Now since insulin pumps are uncommon here I understood his concern and showed it to him. Now I like to carry the pump under my shirt with a clip pouch. So naturally I had to lift up my shirt to show it to him. But this isn’t the highlight of the story.
The guy behind me rised above and started peeking over my shoulder and constantly repeating like a 2 year old child what is this. And that too with my fucking abdomen exposed. I went into rage mode there and then like wtf dude, none of your business just step back a little.
Now my issue is that I do not understand that in their own curiosity, why do people forget to respect others privacy. And a very big problem with medical equipment manufacturing organisations (yeah you medtronic). Why are you only concerned with sales and why not awareness? I mean spreading awareness will only help your sales as more people will become aware about your product and it will be less awkward and concerning for people like me to wear your device out in the public

It's oddly satisfying to see other devs rant about the shit they go through. And yet, I can't deal with the shit that people rant on non-dev related on Facebook.

Ok mate, you know what, you can FUCK. OFF.

MY H1 HAD EXTRA SPACE AT THE TOP. DEVTOOLS ELEMENT SHOWED NO DIFFERENCE.
I COMBED THROUGH THE FUCKING STYLES AND COMPUTED.
TURNS OUT IT WAS THE WHITESPACE THE FORMATTER WAS ADDING CAUSING LEADING \N

HEY CHROME DEVTOOLS.
HOW ABOUT IN ELEMENT VIEW.
YOU SHOW THE FUCKING PURE INNERHTML/INNERTEXT AND NOT JUST THE FUCKING NORMIE NON-DEVTOOLS TEXT THAT GETS RENDERED.
IM A FUCKING DEV.
THATS WHY ITS CALLED DEV TOOLS
SHOW
ME
EVERYTHING

FUCK

Following situation:
6 people sitting on a table having a few beers Friday evening.
3 Devs and 3 non-Dev people. The devs were talking about stories and problems with customer service...
So far so good... Suddenly one dev came up and said:
Hey guys! I have a very funny and interesting "GoDaddy" story to tell!
The faces of the non dev people were priceless because they imagined a totally different story.....

Why some managers think that a non-tech guy can be the Scrum Master of a dev project?

I was asked to explain code line by line to a non-dev. kill me now.

Well, today was a fun day playing with Qubes OS. I really did nothing really difficult, I created a template for multimedia pruposes (Netflix, Amazon Prime, Spotify and VLC) based on debian and then create a domain based on that same template.

It works

Still need to fix the screen tearing, but it is nothing really serious, in fact I probably just change the graphic card to the integrated on the motherboard to see if something change.

Probably the next issue will be set a few domains for specific issues:

- Dev [personal]: This will be used for my personal projects.
- Dev [non personal]: For those times I collab with someone / not my stuff
- [√] Work: mail, msTeams, whatever from my job.
- Bank Stuff: I can asure you that
- [√] Multimedia: chill n stuff

and thats all for now.

PD: Ctrl + C, Ctrl + V Will be a nightmare xD

"try harder and smarter, we will do a training if needed"... A coworker replying to another coworker (non dev tech support guy who never used postman in his life) in public chat... And I can't help but think that he is implying that the tech support guy is stupid.
KNOWING POSTMAN DOESN'T MAKE YOU SMART!!! AND YOU NEED TO SHOW SOME RESPECT AND LEARN HOW TO SPEAK!!

If there is anything I hate in life more than XCode is not organizing work!

A feature done few months ago on mobile, tested, passed QA and now it is not working! Why? Because API got screwed!! Why? Because someone is changing the core of the system without notifying anyone!!

Both API and that feature were not touched in months and suddenly stopped working and guess who is blamed, damn right me and the API dev when non of us even made a change -.-

Best thing to be a dev
You create your own tools, problem solving skills that we learn and the best thing that non-tech people treat you as a genius

When you show your work to your non-dev friend...

Do you remember how they say, you won't notice how much you miss something, until it's gone? Well this Island (Guadeloupe) is as beautiful as it can be! However the internet connection sucks. Big time!

Plus the humidity killed my laptop (or at least part of the keyboard including the keys I need for the partition unlock, which means no laptop until I'm home and replaced the keyboard.

I didn't bring it for work but to be able to look up stuff, maybee write some (non dev) stuff and such...

But to be honest since this vacation is so relaxing, I'm not even really mad. Strange.

I'm buried in projects that I never get time to work on. My boss took the week off, and I'm getting emails from users asking about adding more projects to the board. I'm a single dev at my company. Normally, I have enough patience to get through the day, but today my CIO decided it would be a good time tell my coworker to let me know that the company dumped a third party we used for tons of report automation, and that I need to get these reports hand rolled in house asap. When I sent him a message asking for any kind of details on what this would involve, I found out he left early for the day.

I'm already stressed and putting in extra hours (salaried, so no extra pay) and am having trouble meeting deadlines for projects as it is because I'm constantly pulled away from my dev work to do non-dev work.

I just landed this dev position six months ago and haven't had a chance to build my resume. I'm getting "OK" money considering this is my first full-time dev job. Should I be looking to get out? Suck it up and get the experience? I know we all have crazy expectations on us and frustrating PMs, but after chats with other devs, I get the feeling that my situation is beyond fucked.

For my father, I do wizardry, for my mother I do magic, for my brother I type weird stuff, for my gf I code useless stuff, for my grandparents I do nothing, for my non dev friends I make softwares, for my dev friends... Magic again

My non-dev friends on Facebook are spamming with "Merry Christmas and Happy New Year". I didn't respond to them, I know am being rude but it's worth it.

On a non-Dev forum about a hobby topic, someone felt the need to go all woke about certain famous creators in said hobby. Particularly that those creators have ideas and philosophies antithetical to the (ever shifting) ideals of wokeness. And that everything those creators made should be destroyed and never allowed to be portrayed or discussed in public again. In the name of tolerance, of course.

If this starts to happen to the dev world to the point that I can no longer earn a living because it has become known that I have possibly committed or might commit Thoughtcrime because of who I associate with, I will be glad to see that asteroid, polar flip, or worldwide EMP reset. Because humanity can’t progress if no one can write, sing, play, or make something simply because they are not woke enough.

non dev half assed finance guy who came to "help" us with our accounting software's reporting: "easy just copy and paste the database"

drop database YourPatheticExistence

- (Non-dev) stop taking drugs and so much alcohol
- Choose between open-source and proprietary techs
- Begin my own project : an educational web platform

When your non-dev gf gets angry on you for not responding to her texts through out the night but you decide to stay quiet because she would never understand that you were trying to fix the code.

That moment a non dev friend wants to get into web dev and ask you want he needs, you give him a list with 5 languages, 20 libraries/frameworks to use, 8 tools, 25 devices to use to test and a letter saying "Good luck learning all of that"

Am I the only dev being in the universe who hates dealing with non technical PMs and POs?

Every time I interact with them I just want to kill myself.

PS: I still think their roles are important. Just hire people that know what they are doing.

Urgent!
When down voting needs to be add a non dev related and add to the setting a option to hide all rants voted non dev related.
Basacly like repost but it says non dev related

I just want to take a moment to appreciate how lovely and non-aggressive the subscription process for a Mozilla dev newsletter is.

They show a list of topics like
- Mozilla tech
- add on mails
etc

Only the dev newsletter is preselected by default and the rest are unsubscribed by default.

So if I just submit, I'll just get dev mails and I can subscribe to the rest only if I want to.

This is so much better than chrome or other Google bullshit where if I subscribe to a dev newsletter I'm automatically subscribed to every single piece of shit mail available.

You go Mozilla. Thanks for not being a piece of shit.

I hate my brain.

When I want to program it's always when I'm outside doing chores, on a trip or when I'm at my non-dev job.

When I finally get home and ready for working on projects my brain feels like watching Schwarzenegger films instead.

Fuck you brain.

Worse dev experience: Working for a company that had a monopoly in the market. They have Dinosaurs that didn't want to upgrade the user experience at all because of the company's hold on the market and their lack of forward thinking. It's a privately held company that is hard to get terminated. It was frustrating because they could do more but didn't so I'm looking to compete once my non-compete is up.

Best dev experience : Quitting the aforementioned job and getting another one. 😎

In 2020 I want to achieve:
- develop a proper custom deployment tool (for job)
- get my boss to finally approve of me doing code reviews (we have 0 reviews 🙄, tiny company)
- never have to work on WordPress ever again
- develop or set up a company internal package repo (alt. to NPM)
- get a new contract
- get 3 open side projects done

(non-dev)
- buy some more furniture and make the appartment finally cozy and a happy place to live
- finally get over the negative thoughts of that antisocial ex
- go indoor climbing 3 days of the week, to get rid of those developer fat cushions... 😅

- my (non-dev) supervisor at my job
- no documentation
- no source control
- people working in the same team with completely different programming/domain knowledge levels, but also very different ways of being
- bad within-project communication

Luckily not all of them are about my job. We do use source control.

Unlimited power to do anything with any electronic devices.
Every movie contains a developer(hacker).
Can make non dev shut up with neat dev terms.
Completely understand silicon valley and Mr.Robot(non dev do not get the things like github, method, etc.),
And yeah most importantly devRant.

Got a senior dev at work.

The guy is good at his job, no doubt, but his insecurity drives me up the wall.

- Constantly double checks work done by non-seniors.
- Setup a policy where only seniors can code review.
- Tells non-seniors not to give out advice as they don't know what they're talking about.
- Edits pull requests for you.
- Demands unobtainable quality for insignificant pieces of work.
- Patronising teams messages on the regular.

We're all just trying to get work done and he's always acting like we haven't got enough stripes on the badge.

Damn this week topic is hard.

I am gonna go with managing a team. I have to use the DRY SOLID YAGNI KISS on daily basis at non-dev tasks too.

Best non dev activity for me is riding public transports home after coding. It's so underwhelming that my brain focuses really well - comes with the problem of looking crazy when I take out my laptop in the middle of the subway

Non dev question for those in Germany... If I need unlimited minutes with the best coverage near Wiesbaden, what would my options be?

*confession*

I'm one of *those* developers that sold their soul to Microsoft technology stack early in their career, and then bought in into even more narrow specialization, SharePoint dev (Could easily have been Dynamics or similar) ...

...And almost don't regret it. The only concern is becoming obsolete in time, but I suppose life of a developer is always learning, so all should be fine.

Major kudos to all non-MS developers, I enjoy reading about your lives here.

There is no one who can relate to me around our area. Even my friends are non-dev. It's frustrating. Thanks devRant for existing.

I'm tempted at some point to get a non-dev job. After about 2 weeks I could automate everything then just slack off.

Shoutout to all my fellow ranters with boring ass non dev related jobs! Working in a shop to get myself through uni sucks

There is nothing as hard as explaining the work of a back end dev to a non technical person

Have to so a presentation tomorrow about a non dev topic.
While googling stuff I randomly find that cool amazing lib or new tool. Watching a video about it and end up codeing a hello world with it because it's so cool !
3h later: oh wait what was that tab about I opened 3h ago. Fuck.

Anyone else knows ?

Worst part about being a dev.

Non-technical people see your awesome app.... and then bring their faulty hardware gear for you to fix! Wtf!!

I wonder why, Every now and then, some non-dev friend asks me, "Hey can you hack this Facebook ID for me..." :/ ............

!rant

Today came 2 girls to the office for an interview. Except we didn't invited them but another company in the building... (non tech)
Later we thought we should have started to interview them and ask dev questions and so on. Would have been interesting when they noticed they are in the wrong interview...

Why do such nasty ideas always pop up later?
😁

I miss those days when I used to sit and have endless dev related conversations with my university fellows. Now, all my non-dev friends only talk about girls, cars, vacations etc. FML

A non-dev friend just complained to me about work and without second thought I recommended her to rant on DevRant. Now I am wondering if that would expose this sanctuary too much?

I have that idea about starting a non dev project, but use some dev skills.

I'm thinking about raising shrimps 🦐 to distribute (maybe at first just for testing). I can use raspberry pi with some sensors (Oxygen and food etc...) to semi-automate the raising process

Corporate Training: to lock your screen press ctrl+alt+delete and select lock screen.

Non-Dev: need to lock screen, ctrl+alt+delete... It's not responding... Ctrl+alt+delete.... Wait why did my computer reboot.... NOOOOOOOO... MY WORK

Me, Dev: uhm I just used Win+L...

When someone (and this is typically someone non-dev and not a very structured person) says "Can I ask you a question" and, upon an affirmative answer to that, fires away a whole bunch of questions without waiting for an answer to the first of the questions.

Pleeeease! If you expect an answer, ask me one. question. at. a. time. Or write a freaking e-mail.

For me,, getting through non-dev days is way harder!

Sometimes I start feeling smart as a developer. Other times I can't even figure out why windows 10 runs super slow on my normal non dev machine. 🙈

More and more of my friends and family are finding out I'm an Android Developer. I'm so sick of hearing, "Hey, I have a great idea for an app...". They all think you can build a good mobile app from scratch in a few days.

Fruit Machines... Kind of a dev rant, I mean, they have software running them now, but my gripe is the hardware (I think).

Any of you that frequent pubs and use fruit machines notice that many of the LEDs are "broken" / "non functioning" lately? I mean it's rare I see one that doesn't have lights that are out, rendering the entire machine useless, yet it still takes your money.

Intentionally made to break? Or are LEDs really that difficult to get right? Or maybe it's software determining which ones to appear "broken" and there is a way reset it?

It's a rant none the less...

Me: *ranting to my friend who isn’t a dev (but is in IT and a good knowledge of networking) about a problem I came across in my project.

“I don’t know how I’ll send folders”

Him: “just compress it before hand and decompress when it’s sent”

Me: *mind fucked*

Have any of you guys gotten surprisingly good ideas from non programmers?

Non-dev

I'm really sad to see what's going on in the world right now, particularly America.

Millions of jobs are just, gone, automated away, or turned into shitty contract positions. This leaves us with huge unemployment, so people then are forced to participate in a race to the bottom for the shitty contract jobs.

Ridesharing now classifies its employees as contractors. Who does this help? The companies of course, cause they dont need to give anyone benefits or even minimum wage.

And then since these guys are contractors, restaurants and stuff end up eliminating their drivers since they can't compete with the lean mean ridesharing machine.

Soon most "essential" work is just going to be poor people begging for tips from their work because the companies count them as contractors and dont give them benefits or enough to live on.

Fuck this shit. I'm so glad I'm a dev and mostly shielded from this, for now. But it's upsetting to think of what the world will be like in 20 years as this continues.

Geekiest non Dev Activity.
Easily playing Magic The Gathering every Monday, Wednesday and Friday evening.
EDH, Standard and Draft.

i accidentally closed my browser with 34+ opened stackoverflow tabs which were EXTREMELY IMPORTANT AND BEEN OPENED FOR DAYS while the rest of tabs were also important dev and non dev related stuff just because Google chrome does not have an option to warn me if i am sure i want to close my browser and because googlle chrome doesnot have even extensio n that can do this for me i am deeply frustrated right now

*Dev is non-native english speaker

Dev: we need the VPN ip.
Me: the server ip or the connected device ip.
Dev: the server.
Me: gets the ip.
Dev: this doesn't work, is this the VPN ip ?
Me: Gives the device ip. Works.
Dev: OK. Works now.

Could have just asked for the client IP in the first place but s/he didn't know how to.

I have been trying to freelance for people who don't speak english as a first language and getting the Requirements is the hardest part of the job. 😫 .

P.S. Suggestions needed from remote freelancers. What's your workflow like.

An UI guy which actually complimented my will to work with non-dev professions in order to deliver quality features.
Spoiler: I am willing because you are awesome and are not offended in me asking questions outside my area of competence in order to be sure what I do is what you want, so if you happen to read this post kudos on you M. , not on me :)

The company I work at acts on a field that I'm quite passionate about but what is frustrating me lately is the fact that people seem to acknowledge way more the programing skills of the leader of another non-dev team that has good ideas but isn't that well versed on the dark arts.

I told my new Director that I am not one for going with third party vendors. He claimed that I was biased. I am really.

But I told him that support and troubleshooting are the main reasons why I dislike third party vendors as well as the request for X software to do Y non supported thing, they always state during a sales call that they can accommodate, they never do.

As an example, I send them the logs of a support ticket for one particular piece of software that we have, for which I detailed the situation, only for them to NEVER respond and then after 5 days close the ticket stating that I never replied back to them, even when they never replied back.

A custom made in house solution will always be superior to your run of the mill all encompassing app. But try and make a non dev understand this. I wish my old director was back. I miss the fuck out of that dude. Loved working for him.