Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "pls do"
-
Warning: This is going to be a long one!
Day 1: Fresh outta grad school. Joined a start-up in silicon valley (50% lower pay than avg salary) . Moved to the bay area and rented a car to travel to work. First day, all excited, drive 35 miles to work.
It's a small company with just 5 people. Greeted by the CEO himself. Asks me to wait outside while he goes speaks with the project manager. In the meantime the office manager asks if I have a copy of my resume.
10 minutes later, the CEO walks out and tell me: "I'm sorry but I don't have a job for you at this time. Please come back after a month". Palms are sweaty, Knees weak, arms are heavy. I feel my heart skipping several beats. As an F1 student I immediately start thinking about my visa status.
I drive back home and try to think what I should do next. Then suddenly the CEO calls me back saying pls come back and we can work something out. I drive back and I'm offered a small spot on a round table with my colleagues. Everyone looks stressed out and sad.
Day 2: Work starts early since we need to collaborate with a team in India. I reach work at 6:00 am hoping my second day is better than the first. Couple minutes into the early morning meeting, the CEO flips out and screams: "I'm going to fucking fire everyone. This fucking thing is taking too long. Just get the fuck out already".
Day 547: I finally quit and joined another start-up :)10 -
It's also my only finished project so far: an alarm clock
Made for ~2 days, because I couldn't get up on time.
Currently flashes light into your eyes and buzzes with a piezo crystal and has wifi15 -
The state of CS is a joke and I'm contributing to it.
I'm a final year CS student and like most students, I'm not exactly overflowing with money so any income helps. Now, it's not that uncommon for students to buy their projects but I swear a good 20% of people from my course don't know how to write a function. And let me remind you, they are in their final year, about to graduate, about to get their bachelor's degree in computer science and they don't know how to write a function, let alone a class, let alone piece together something that works.
I just want to say that no, I'm not proud of myself for doing other people's projects for money and letting such imbeciles pass. I'm fucking tired of sending over someone's project, them asking me to change something and me telling them to add an if statement to which they reply with "i don't know how, pls do it".
This is why having a degree doesn't mean shit anymore and yes, I'm aware that higher education has become more available over time.20 -
Warning: contains swearwords!
Do you guy's also have coder-"friend" that:
- Always asks how to do things
- ask for code snippets
- steals your fucking code from Anydesk
- steals your passwords while testing
- steals your code from deobfuscated jar
- steals your jar and deobfuscate it
- steals your database to store stolen passphrases
- tries to convince you to build RATs for your users
- tries to convince you to build RATs for his users
- and so on...
??FOR FUCKING REAL THIS ISN'T EVEN ALL THAT HAPPENED TO ME!
HE IS A FUCKING SUCKER CUNT! HE PROMISED ME MULTIPLE TIMES THAT HE DELETED MY PROJECTS AND TELLS ME HE IS STILL USING THEM TO RESEARCH MY CODE FOR HIS CODE!!!
HE FUCKING RECORDED ME WHILE CODING WITH AN API I AM NOT USED TO WHILE I ASK HIM FREQUENTLY BECAUSE I HAVE NO CLUE AND HE THEN SENDS IT TO HIS FRIENDS TO PISS ME OF AND LAUGH ABOUT ME!!
WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE WHY THE FUCK ARE ASSHOLES LIKE HIM NOT IN FUCKING PSYCHIATRY!
AND I CAN'T GET RID OF HIM BECAUSE I AM TOO FUCKING NICE!!
FOR GODS SAKE PLS LET A LIGHTNING STRIKE HIT HIM IN HIS FUCKING FACE!
AT FUCKING LEAST I GOT SENT AN IMAGE OF HIS ADDRESS SO I WILL SHIT IN A FUCKING BOX AND SEND IT TO THAT CUNT!16 -
Wtf, really??? Are they trying to liyerally KILL ME????
Got home from hospital today wth my family. Baby got sick. Wife also caught cold... Bad news. It was just me still healthy like a raddish [we have such saying].
So I got home. Started feeling somewhat funny. Sore thighs, feeling nauseaus, chilly, a bit dizzy.
10 minutes later I'm fucking trembling! It felt as of I was kicked put bare ass to -20C outside! I'm not exaggerating [probably made some typos.. Pls correct me] - i live where winters get like -35C. Everything around got like twice darker. And my lower teeth got itchy af [NOT the best feeling, trust me].
I must have caught cold too - I thought to myself, cuz I know what these sympthoms mean. I always have 'em all when I have fever. Since shivers are caused by rising fever I got my Microlife remote thermometer out of my drawer. Click, blue light, wait, beeep. 36.5C. Allright.. Maybe I got it wrong... Try again -- same result. Wife also gave a couple tries - nada. Nil. Nullpointerexception. Healthy like a pickle!
10 minutes later I couldn't stand the cold. Got under my blankets wife made some soup, tea,... I still have this analog thermometer, the one with quicksilver. Pop it into my armpit - jusyt in case. 10minutes later I take it out. It says 39,5 and rising. Try the microlife again. 36,5. WHAT THE FUCK?????????
If I weren't so fond of old-school stuff I'd be in a fucking ER now!!
Fuck you medical digital equipment made to be used at home! FUCK YOU!!
I'm pissed.
Do you folks kbow where could I get those q-silver thermometers? Just in case. They're already out of matket in my area for quite some time... For being dangerous [i give 'em that, okay?] and.... Lisen to this.... "unreliable"!
FUCK IT!15 -
My first rant, so pls don't blame me?. 🙈. No just kidding, but now the Story. A friend told me that he want to start hacking. But I know that he can't prog or use a PC. But I asked: "Can u program?" He: Yeah, of course!?". *Me wondering as fuck* Me: Where do u learned that?" He: "Watched YouTube Videos!" Me: "OK?, and what language du u want to use, and IDE?" He answered: "Language Arduino, and IDE what is that?". *Me facepalming and asking myself what dafuq was he watching and why is he trying to do things like that*11
-
> be me
> create profile in dating app because pandemic rules make meeting people at irl events impossible
> match with cute girl
> start to talk about interesting stuff
> mention being a software developer
> her: 'pls help me I have a not activated windows 10 on my laptop and can't do stuff since the last update'
> fml20 -
Me: asking about a problem in javascript
Other: do u use a framework?
me: yes
other: which one?
me: vue
other: i would use angular because this and that
me in my head: okey thanks but its not a problem with the framework lol
pls stop this. react, angular, vue are all doing the same10 -
So in the 2nd grade of middle school.our classes had computers with projectors and teachers would present on them. At that time I was still a beginner in programming and knew some basic cmd commands, so before our teacher had come to class I went to the computer desk, opened cmd and then executed this command “shutdown -s -t 36000” which basically shutdowns the pc after 36000 milliseconds and then the teacher came to class and started explaining us a new lesson on a power point and half way through the power point the pc suddenly shutdowns and the class got wild. and no one admitted who did it so all the teacher did is to say” who ever did it pls don’t do it again”. Like wow...😂😂😂4
-
"So you are a computer geek right?" Yeah!
"So how do I hack my friend's Facebook profile?"
HOW DO I DEAL WITH THIS PEOPLE
I had this situation quite several times. pls8 -
Manager: Could you create the UI for the new feature? The client wants to test it. We need it in 3 days.
*1 week later*
Client: IT DOESNT WORK
Me: This is just a visual demo... but everything will work when we realse the feature.
Client: okay but can I see what it will do?
Of course you can! Just wait until we relase it!
*2 weeks later*
Manager: What are you doing?
Me: Working on the UI for the new feature.
Manager: Wait, hadn't you already done it for the demo?
Me: That UI didn't really work. It was basically a bunch of HTML, without reactivity or abstraction or any functionality.
Manager: Okay, how much where you able to re-use?
Me: almost nothing.
Manager: So... you wasted those 3 days?
Oh so I'm the one who wasted 3 days.
Me: Kinda, yeah
Manager: Why couldn't you have done this when I asked you to do the UI?
You can't expect good quality code in 3 days. Pls stop wasting it on demos.3 -
This kind of random stuff happens to me often:
*comes home from going out*
*wants to sleep badly*
Brain: heyyy, why don't we take a look at some vps discounts!!!
Me: please, I want to FUCKING sleep.
Brain: oh come on...
Me: pls don't do this to me..
Brain: But vps discounts...
Me: oh FUCK YOU, I'll go look up some stuff.
My brain can be weird and annoying.8 -
You have to integrate company A system with company B.
You look up B`s api documentation, write the necessary code, test it thoroughly. Done
__________________________________
A wild dev from B has appeared!!!
------------------------------------------------------
him > you cannot use this SDK to implement this solution. You must use a different one...
You > (coming back to him after scouring through the docs) . Ok which sdk is it then? I can't find it anywhere. Could you send it to me pls?
him > I don't kbow, my knowledge doesn't go that far. Send an email to the dev department.
After sending the email, and spending a couple of days trying to figure out which sdk was he referring to. His department answers that the sdk you should use, is the one you already used. The only one they have.
A couple of days lost, because certain smart-ass could not refrain himself from meddling in the project.
What would you do?
Note: Killing him is out of the question :)8 -
Wtf is going on with developers these days?
I just applied for a job (through some online job thing) for the holidays and they had questions like "Do you have relatives working for our company?" and I'm like noooo. So when I wanted to submit the form the field of my relatives name working for the company was marked with a notice "pls fill me in". And that was not the only field behaving like that. There were like 10 of them.
So now I wanted to install mono develop to learn some c# and gui development and they give me this9 -
I wish there was a way to pay for devRant++ yearly. Since I have no card of my own that work outside of Sweden I have to pay my mom and use her card, which is a bit annoying to do once a month.
dfox pls fix.8 -
Soo I am the only tech-guy in my family and it's a bit like:
Other: You do program?
Me: yes?
Other: pls repair my printer!
And you guys know how awful that is, aren't you? But in my family it gets tougher...
Today my older sister asked me how to save data from a broken HDD. I said I know a guy who's doing forensic on HDDs and he could make that.
She's like: "but a friend of mine said it could be done easier with software"
And yes, it is! But not that successful...
Now's the point she killed me instantly!
She said: "he opened the HDD and said the disks look fine they could be easily added to a new HDD"....
WHAT THE ACUTAL FUCK I SAID NOW YOUR DRIVE IS BROKEN FOREVER! AND THEN SHE INSULTED ME AND BLOCKED ME ON FUCKING WHATSAPP! SHE IS LEARNING WEBDESIGN WHY THE FUCK DON'T TEACH HER THE BASICS OF FUCKING COMPUTERS! Oh for fuck sakes....3 -
Yes I totally care about what some dipshit at [insert conference] has to say, now let me in on my desktop that doesn't run anything that has anything to do with k8s pls7
-
Wow, I just realized the marketing teams of most of the companies I have been dealing with are some cold sociopaths.
Every other letter that pops in the mailbox is filled with dark patterns trying to guilt me into opting in to their continued spam:
Subject: Most awesome husky puppy!
Look at this beautiful husky puppy. Isn't it beautiful.... It would be sad if something happened to it... But I am afraid... Something will happen to it...
If you don't opt in to our email message... I am afraid we have no choice... We have to kill this puppy. End it's life... We have no choice. I wish we did! Nothing would please us more than keeping this beautiful-beautiful puppy living and playing....
But if you don't opt in... We have to cut it's throat. Leave it lying on the ground, bleeding out as the life slowly fades away from it's pretty blue eyes...
And Remember: it's not us who killed it... IT WAS YOU! YOUR ACTIONS LEAD TO THE DEATH OF THIS PUPPY! YOU.... YOU FILTHY MURDERER!
Pls opt-in ok, then we are all good. Puppy lives! Just opt in. Ok? Yeah, you know what you have to do.3 -
"Some settings are managed by your organisation"
I understand the necessity for companies to be able to remotely manage their devices, but my god, I hate working on company laptops sooo much!!
Fun fact, even Chrome can be managed! The can manage everyting. It's called Microsoft Intune. It sucks!! And fucking 45 day PW change policy! And fuck you, Windows Defender Real-time protection which I can't turn off and It's high CPU consumption. Also fuck you Microsoft Teams for scanning. Every. Single. Link. I. Click. On. From. A. Chat. Before. Redirecting. Me. To. The. Actual. Website. Always takes a couple of seconds. Waste of time. Those accumulate over time you know! AND to Windows Update! You already know what is coming next: stop force-updating while I'm in the middle of fucking meeting! I have shit to do! Another fun fact: you can postpone Windows Update by turning the clock back. LIKE PLAYING AN OLD TIME-BASED STRATEGY GAME ON PC IN 1999. (12h work best.) And this fucking weak ass VPN. WHY I PAY FOR 1Gbps WHEN COMPANY VPN ONLY 10Mbps?!! What Am I? A fucking snail! Go faster!! pls!
But, thank god, we can email shit and open attachments in Outlook.9 -
Freelance:
Me: I'm done with the major bugs. Can I do the minor bugs tomorrow?
PM: can you hang on just a moment? Can you pls remove the ...
Me: I'll try. I'm experiencing brain dysfunction right now.
PM: Oh? Hahaha! Just a minor tweak tho. Teeheehee.
Me: (fudge)3 -
After work he went home and never came back ... Extremely annoying because he didn't told us what he promised the customer...
Pls never do this... -
I read something LinkedIn -related just now in here, and it kind of made me think. Not really, but whatever it was, brought my mood down some...
It’s a good thing I’m not looking for work at the moment, and I’m quite happy where I am right now, because what I see in LinkedIn depresses me. More specifically, the language and/or framework experience companies are looking to recruit... Java this, Python that, React everywhere... and then there’s the M$ shops... (oh and Scala - surprisingly much Scala, waduheq?) Urgh...
Don’t take it wrong, I totally understand sticking to the tried and tested tools you just know there’s devs aplenty who know their way around them. It’s just from the perspective of someone who prefers to use one of the better tools for a job, it breaks my heart to not see them utilized more, and it makes me think what I would do if I was fired rn? (Unlikely, but theoretically...) Tbh, I don’t know. Probs apply to one of the few F# jobs out there, even when I knew I’d probably have to work on a Windork machine again (pls no), but due to the drawback I just mentioned, not such a bright prospect after all...4 -
I am so much stunned i cannot form a sentence on what to say. Lost 3 days trying to fix a bug on why socket.io was connecting to backend TWICE per user. I cannot fucking comprehend this. Backend works fine because via postman it doesnt connect twice. Everything works fine. 72 fucking hours waste d of my life just to find out i had to change
<React.StrictMode>
<App />
</React.StrictMode>
Into
<App />
When i tell you my jaw fucking dropped it fucking did. And it does not drop often or that easily for me. What the FUCK is react strict mode???? FUCK react. I fucking hate this piece of garbage framework. I even like nextjs better. React💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩motberfucker WHY is strict mode fucking my code what use does it have who gives a shit why does it have anything to do with websocket connection FUCK react 💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩💩 how does this piece of camel turd have anything to do with duplicate connection 💩💩💩💩MFKKCER this garbage doesnt exist in my beautiful angular or nextjs PLS why this cancer has to be so headaching i knew I'll get FUCKED if i dont go over a detailed course learning react from scratch. Now im suffering. Learning this garbage the hard way FUCK off4 -
WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK. What is this dude talking about?! What am I doing with my life?!?!
Test what? What do I have to do? I didn't study this. I don't know what this API thing is. My life sucks. My job sucks. I suck. I'm stupid, because apparently knowing who or what this API is is essential for being a normal part of society.
I don't even.. oh someone pls kill me.
(No I don't want a detailed explanation what I have to do - I know this is not google and i wont understand it anyways and my husband will torture me with it in the afternoon. Just some sympathy for a finance person who has to deal with this would be nice)9 -
When I was in 11th class, my school got a new setup for the school PCs. Instead of just resetting them every time they are shut down (to a state in which it contained a virus, great) and having shared files on a network drive (where everyone could delete anything), they used iServ. Apparently many schools started using that around that time, I heard many bad things about it, not only from my school.
Since school is sh*t and I had nothing better to do in computer class (they never taught us anything new anyway), I experimented with it. My main target was the storage limit. Logins on the school PCs were made with domain accounts, which also logged you in with the iServ account, then the user folder was synchronised with the iServ server. The storage limit there was given as 200MB or something of that order. To have some dummy files, I downloaded every program from portableapps.com, that was an easy way to get a lot of data without much manual effort. Then I copied that folder, which was located on the desktop, and pasted it onto the desktop. Then I took all of that and duplicated it again. And again and again and again... I watched the amount increate, 170MB, 180, 190, 200, I got a mail saying that my storage is full, 210, 220, 230, ... It just kept filling up with absolutely zero consequences.
At some point I started using the web interface to copy the files, which had even more interesting side effects: Apparently, while the server was copying huge amounts of files to itself, nobody in the entire iServ system could log in, neither on the web interface, nor on the PCs. But I didn't notice that at first, I thought just my account was busy and of course I didn't expect it to be this badly programmed that a single copy operation could lock the entire system. I was told later, but at that point the headmaster had already called in someone from the actual police, because they thought I had hacked into whatever. He basically said "don't do again pls" and left again. In the meantime, a teacher had told me to delete the files until a certain date, but he locked my account way earlier so that I couldn't even do it.
Btw, I now own a Minecraft account of which I can never change the security questions or reset the password, because the mail address doesn't exist anymore and I have no more contact to the person who gave it to me. I got that account as a price because I made the best program in a project week about Java, which greatly showed how much the computer classes helped the students learn programming: Of the ~20 students, only one other person actually had a program at the end of the challenge and it was something like hello world. I had translated a TI Basic program for approximating fractions from decimal numbers to Java.
The big irony about sending the police to me as the 1337_h4x0r: A classmate actually tried to hack into the server. He even managed to make it send a mail from someone else's account, as far as I know. And he found a way to put a file into any account, which he shortly considered to use to put a shutdown command into autostart. But of course, I must be the great hacker.3 -
Pro Tip #12:
If you boot of HDD buy one of the cheap 240 GB SSD and try yourself. Windows finally boots in less than 5000 min.2 -
How far off can you implement a feature?
Task: Update add one feature to this endpoint and add test(s) for the new feature
What happened
* Correct endpoint
* Add 2 wrong features
* Remove one important feature
* Do not the requested feature
* Write a test that doesn't actually test the feature for the wrong endpoint
Intern be like: looks fine to me. Pls review and merge3 -
I am here on devRant now for a while. Althought, reading amy of your stories and taking care of websites is not what I usualy tend to do, I started doing it as a favour for a friend of a friend.
Baaad bad decission :-(
"pls, dis is urgnt! uplood dis pics asap on page"
*mail notification*
*face palm 1* because who sends pictures by mail these days ... I like my 50MiB Inbox, dont spam it with garbage!
*opening mail - lists attachments: 1 file, ~900KiB* ok whats happening now?
*facepalm 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9* (10 if there still would be a face to palm on)
the person seriously send me the pictures in an attachment, within a pdf document that was created with MS Word.
No - Just NO!
I should have known better ... sooo much better :(6 -
if i work on PussyBranch to build up a feature, and DickBranch is my main branch so if i merge directly from Pussy into Dick and then work on Dick, and then switch to Pussy again then surely i wouldnt be able to commit to Dick because Pussy isn't filled up with the new code, right? I'd need to pull the latest code from Dick into Pussy branch. but what if i dont want to merge Dick into Pussy code? because what Dick contains, Pussy should not and that would cause anomaly and break uhh how do u call it, the purpose of the branch itself right. So if I want to work only on Pussy and commit just that segment of the new code into Dick, how do I do that? Do i have to force pushing Pussy code into Dick every time or can i do it without force command? serious answers only pls
also what alcohol is good for a more productive and longer hour coding sessions thx6 -
They did not fire me, right?
They just took over another complainy?
To reduce competition by power and then...
They give you half a years of paycheck to leave...
Is this, how we do business?
Should I accept this offer or more pls comment I devored 3 years here.15 -
I was making the bed at my hot blonde gfs apartment and accidentally VERY SOFTLY, Touched, not even aggressively hit, this motherFucking chandelier at the ceiling, and now its hanging on the cables. Are you fucking serious. How can a gentle touch unscrew this fucking lamp and get it fucked up like that so much
Electricity works and all is good so i guess it only needs to be screwed back up?
Who the fuck even made that shit so poor quality. Must have been the shittiest electrical engineer ive ever seen! Probably graduated from online classes too! Fuck you
What do i fucking do now. I feel so bad. It was an accident and i fucked up in someone elses house
Should i fix this myself or am i completely cooked?
Should i call electrician to fix this bullshit?
Pls how much does this fix cost. I hope motherfucking not more than 20-30$ !!!37 -
You know shit is going to hit the fan if the sentence "c++ is the same as java" is said because fuck all the underlying parts of software. It's all the fucking same. Oh and to write a newline in bash we don't use \n or so, we just put an empty echo in there. And fuck this #!/bin/bash line, I'm a teacher. I don't need to know how shit works to teach shit. Let's teach 'em you need stdio for printf even tho it compiles fine without on linux (wtf moment number one, asking em leaves you with "dunno..") and as someone who knows c you look at your terminal questioning everything you ever learned in your whole life. And then we let you look into the binaries with ldd and all the good stuff but we won't explain you why you can see a size difference in the compiled files even tho you included stdio in the second one, and all symbol tables show the exact same thing but dude chill, we don't know what's going on either.
Oh and btw don't use different directory names as we do in our examples. You won't find your own path, there is no tab key you can press to auto-fill shit.
But thats not everything. How about we fill a whole semester with "this is how to printf" but make you write a whole game with unity and c#. (not thaught even the slightest bit until then btw)
Now that you half-assed everything because we put you in a group full of fucks who don't even know what a compiler is but want to tell you you don't know shit and show you their non-working unfinished algorithms in some not-even-syntax-correct java...
...how about we finally go on with Algebra II: complex numbers, how they are going to fuck up your life, how we can do roots of negative numbers all of the sudden and let you do some probability shit no one ever fucking needs. BUT WHY DON'T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ALREADY HMMMMM, IT'S YOUR SECOND LESSON, YOU WENT TO SCHOOL PLS BE A MATH PRO ASAP CUS YOU NEED IT SO MUCH BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW PROPER SYNTAX, HOW MEMORY MANAGEMENT WORKS, WHAT A REFERENCE IS AND PLS FINALLY FORGET THE WORD "ALLOCATION" IT DOESN'T PLAY A SINGLE ROLE YOU ARE STUDYING SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT ECONOMICS IT MAKES NO SENSE I MEAN YOU HAD A WHOLE SEMESTER OF HOW TO GREET SOMEONE IN ENGLISH, MATHS > ECONOMICS > ENGLISH > FUCKING SHIT > CODING SKILL THATS HOW THE PRIORITIES WORK FOR US WHY DON'T YOU GET IT IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BRAH4 -
Convo b/w female software engineer and her boyfriend;
him-Hey babe
her-Hello world;
him-??
her-Ohh no, I meant to say hy babe, actually u r my whole world;
him-Ooo pls!...wt were u dnh anyways?
her-been doing coding for last 12 hrs with boss;
him-gosh!! ...did u eat?
her-0;
him-??
her- I mean false;
him-false?
her-sorry , I meant no;
him-ur mom called , so call her
her-mom();
him-WTF?????
her-I will call her...dont worry;
him-I think u should rest for a while
her-while(project!=over) {work();}
him-U r enjoying this...irritating me...aren't u?
her-what? :)
him-When will u come home?
her-if(boss==leaves){cout<<"soon"<<endl;}
him-Now its too much...its really annoying...are u getting me? Have u lost ur mind?
her-ERROR 404....mind not found!
him-u do realise...I m not getting any of ur jokes
her-JokeOutOfBoundException
him-Are u drunk? How many eyes do I have?
her-1
him-Idiot , I have 2 eyes
her-oh sorry I counted from 0
him-i think we should break up
her-oh no!!, dont break; continue;
him-thats it, urBF.exit()
her-No wait..... ; is imp , write like....urBF.exit();3 -
I'm interning and working on something above my skill level and it works for the most part but I think I may have done it completely wrong for like the past week :') everyone is on paid vacation and I'm just sitting here like a baby bird with a broken wing
"halp"
Pls no anger if it doesn't do exactly what it is supposed to. I am frail.2 -
When this guy started asking me a bunch of googled questions such as:
Why should I hire you?
Why do you want this job?
What do you know about the company?
Describe your biggest fear?
What's your biggest strength/weakness ?
Dood pls3 -
Hi friends and others. There is a task I want to automate. I want to convert .docx files to .pdf and then minify those. Are there JavaScript libraries or npm- packages which can do that? Because I would like to use Gulp or Webpack for this task. I would not mind if external APIs are involved, but I would rather not use those if not required.
Pls share your wisdom. Bye.2 -
Windows 10 insider preview had a critical bug like half a year ago where most browsers would freeze the PC. I've reported it multiple times but my feedback didnt get any attention. The bug made it to production months later...
Now, the story is repeating. I've discovered a bug. Everytime there's a software update for apps that with a built-in updater in the main .exe (JetBrains IDEs, VS etc.) the updater fails, program is corrupted and needs to be reinstalled. For instance, there's a minor bump in Android Studio version, if you try to use autoupdater it will corrupt your Android Studio and you'll have to reinstall.
Been trying to reach out to them but the only "real issues" that are highlighted are "no CPU temp in task manager" or "pls improve automatic problem resolving"
Why the fuck do you even have a feedback program if you're ignoring the people who are reaching out to you, you pieces of shit4 -
Client be like:
Pls, could you give the new Postgres user the same perms as this one other user?
Me:
Uh... Sure.
Then I find out that, for whatever reason, all of their user accounts have disabled inheritance... So, wtf.
Postgres doesn't really allow you to *copy* perms of a role A to role B. You can only grant role A to role B, but for the perms of A to carry over, B has to have inheritance allowed... Which... It doesn't.
So... After a bit of manual GRANT bla ON DATABASE foo TO user, I ping back that it is done and breath a sigh of relief.
Oooooonly... They ping back like -- Could you also copy the perms of A on all the existing objects in the schema to B???
Ugh. More work. Lets see... List all permissions in a schema and... Holy shit! That's thousands of tables and sequences, how tf am I ever gonna copy over all that???
Maybe I could... Disable the pager of psql, and pipe the list into a file, parse it by the magic of regex... And somehow generate a fuckload of GRANT statements? Uuuugh, but that'd kill so much time. Not to mention I'd need to find out what the individual permission letters in the output mean... And... Ugh, ye, no, too much work. Lets see if SO knows a solution!
And, surprise surprise, it did! The easiest, simplest to understand way, was to make a schema-only dump of the database, grep it for user A, substitute their name with B, and then input it back.
What I didn't expect is for the resulting filtered and altered grant list to be over 6800 LINES LONG. WHAT THE FUCK.
...And, shortly after I apply the insane number of grants... I get another ping. Turns out the customer's already figured out a way to grant all the necessary perms themselves, and I... No longer have to do anything :|
Joy. Utter, indescribable joy.
Is there any actual security reason for disabling inheritance in Postgres? (14.x) I'd think that if an account got compromised, it doesn't matter if it has the perms inherited or not, cuz you can just SET ROLE yourself to the granted role with the actual perms and go ham...3 -
Professor: with rm -r /* you can delete everything on your pc
Me: ou boii lets try it can't be so bad🤪
Prof: pls never try this, when i say everything i mean everything
Me: ou frick what did i do 😱
Note for me: Next time do a backup4 -
government is like an abusive spouse
WHERE DID YOU GO, WHAT DID YOU DO
ARE YOU CHEATING ON ME, YOU TERRORIST?! YOU'RE OUT TO GET ME AREN'T YOU
CLEMENTINE WILL REMEMBER THIS, *writes lists about innocuous things that may or may not actually happened*
Why are you helping your neighbours but not me =[ taxes pls
it is your wifely/husbandly DUTY to service me! it is immoral to do anything else
YOU NEVER LISTEN TO ME! *proceeds to "educate", ignores any feedback and makes excuses to why they're not listening to you -- because it's not reaaaalllly technically ignoring you!*
DON'T TALK TO FOREIGN GOVERNMENTS, DON'T YOU KNOW THEY HATE YOU?! WE CAN ONLY TRUST EACH OTHER
proceeds to sleep with a foreign government on you2 -
ok found the object orientated guide but for rust which is functional spaghetti: https://howtocodeit.com/articles/...
it has moved into architecture
... and actually makes a good case for interfaces / traits. generally in languages I just used generics to get around limitations of having to type a lot / duplicate code, and I'd remove interfaces because they're annoying to have to deal with, but I can see this be useful for once now.
like you can start a prototype app with files as a database then move to a small database type then later a more monolithic big data one and all that would be through one trait the whole time. so you could anticipate natural progressions of an app, instead of having to build the last version you can put jank behind interfaces and then switch things in and out to test new technologies which does actually give me a lot of relief for my newfound anxiety of me rewriting my rust codebases because I get some small things wrong. I've been coding in circles due to it and I have several saved files that are out of date now but I don't want to delete and they make the compiler mad cuz I had no interface boundaries as such and now stuff has changed somewhere else in the app and by God pls argh
this also means you can code "top-down". in carl Jung typology that's Te and most programmers are Ti-types so they do the little details and then sort of glue everything together (?) but not everybody thinks this way. I naturally think more top-down, which works for more dynamic languages and is annoying in static languages because then you're just fighting semantics and your earlier work the whole time (actually this is a surprisingly good write-up on the different thinking types: https://bothsidesofthetable.com/the...)
wheeeee -
Im sad my fellow programmers, hit me with you love stories, good or bad. Everything will do...
I know this has nothing to do with programming pls no report....11 -
Why do you think restarting the device mostly works? Be it phones, laptops or routers.. No real answers pls.. Let see how much creativity we can get 😅4
-
Hi,
Maybe this question has been asked before..But
What music or radio you listen to ( if you do ) while working ?
Do you have any recommendations? Share pls
For me I mainly listen to Deephouse mixes or piano complications
Soundcloud && YouTube9 -
Msvcr100.dll you sack of shit, how many different exes to repair the 2010 c++ redistributable do I have to try just so I can install some bloody software.
Windows 10 ,Microsoft pls1 -
That feeling when you insert the driver disk for a wireless adapter to find they actually do provide Linux drivers!!!!!
Nobody ever provides Linux drivers, this is a god send! Thank you!
That feeling when they don't compile correctly! Damn you! ASUS pls. Halp. You're so close to being amazing. -
I need a life advise - pls share your wisdom!
I have my first client located in the US. He wants to pay with a cashier's check and I have no idea how that works. How do you European or even german freelancer are getting paid by american clients?10 -
News Feed for web dev trends/news?
I don't want these "how to do some weird shit with divi" kinda-news, I want to learn about new trends, frameworks, stacks, tech n stuff, especially new js features. Mainly webdev but other dev-stuff, too.
And if someone has a better reader than feedly for such feeds, pls let me know.3 -
WASTED MY ENTIRE DAY AJD ENTIRE NIGHT.
MY flutter app isn’t running on iPhone simulator!!! I cleaned and deleted derived data and cleaned thousand times but it crashes at startup without error! What the fuckkkkk do I do!!????
Oh and my iPhone is not being recognised by any IDE Idk why. :((((((((( pls m so miserable pls dnt :(4 -
!something annoying
I've always had this in the back of my head, and off lately it's eating me alive.
Why don't we just rename python3 to python and Python to python2?
no I'm not gonna alias it in my shell. I'm talking about renaming them in all the distros.
there've been talks about renaming python3 to python and marking it as the default for quite long, but nothing has come of it yet.
I get that a lot of shit is gonna go down if this happens rn, systems breaking, migrations, panic, a lot of systems still working on python2 but we need to migrate.
we've also been hearing a lot of speculation about "Python 4", from earlier this year.
WHAT IS HAPPENING UGHHHH
pls revolution now7 -
Shits so frustrating at the moment, how do people cope with this all at once I’m juggling 3 projects at work, I’m still on an apprenticeship, I’m behind on my coursework which some of it is beyond me and I don’t know who to turn to for help, pls fml2
-
!rant
C++ / OOP QUESTION
I have a uni assignment / project (Data Structures class), where I have to implement the ins-n-outs of 1D arrays, by creating a dynamically allocated array class, which can accept any type of data (using templates). But there's a problem.
I'd like to implement sorting the elements of the array. But given the fact, that I'm using templates, I cannot treat the elements as integers, nor as strings, or other types...
Also, let's say that the elements of the array are elements of class T, where T looks like this:
class T {
private:
double height;
int age;
string name;
public:
double getH() { return height; }
int getAge() { return age; }
string getName() { return name; }
};
(It's just a random example, pls don't judge for code quality...)
Let's say that I'd like to sort the T elements based on height, print out, sort by age, print out, then sort by name and print out. How can I do this? Is this possible?5 -
Any suggestion on (pls, cheap) books that'd enable me to understand the unix/Linux environment in its most fundamental level?
I do use Linux for some 10 years already, but just now I moved to a distro that doesn't do everything to me. So my basic idea is to get the basics so I'd have the least problems when transitioning to other distros/*ix systems, so pls, the less its distro specific, the better or is.
Thx5 -
wish AIs were good at rust, borrowing rules, and async 😫
is it possible to have a impl of async &mut self on something that's gonna thread and update its own data via Arc Mutex or whatever or not
stop making syntax errors
guide pls
nobody uses rust, I swear. or at least they just do basic bitch "beginner" apps. please. get with the times and actually do something meaningful that's not picture perfect theoretical exercises. how come no one's RNG tested every feature against every other feature? where's your chaos monkey. the world is chaos! get with the times!
it would be nice if I stick this on the instance as a method but it _might actually never work_ if I try that so I don't wanna spend 3 days wrangling with the code to figure that out when I have a perfectly good dangling independent helper function in a random package here. gosh darnit
also apparently the only way to get something out of a Arc Murex is to clone it. but the API / usability of the thing would be exactly the same whether it was wrapped in Arc Murex or not. so it's like. if it was in Arc Mutex and you wanna use it in other parts of your app that aren't using multithreading in any way, are you just changing all the function signatures to Arc Mutex or are you cloning to get it back out? uegh I don't even. what if I mutex lock and just put that in the signatures (can I even? because I've tried using weird intermediary objects as part of signatures and then I get in trouble there too cuz arbitrarily the answer is "no" because some generic system limitation)? why all of this
May as well learn hieroglyphics but with French/English grammar exception rules on the side. yo dawg we heard you hate human languages with all their exceptions so we made programming languages the same way70 -
that moment when you allow access to an application and you see your mouse moving by itself ..... autoit .... pls don't do this 😢1
-
Should i turn back my new macbook pro i7 15" 2019 256 gb and buy i9 15" 2019 512 gb ?? ????
Pls say very urgent
What i want to do:
Only use the laptop for work and progreamming. Unity node spring angular xcode android studio for now mainly.
Is my 256 gb enough to handle all of that or have i fucked up and should have taken 512?12 -
Which Idea was it to combine C, C++ and Java in one big fucking Project. And who thought that it was a Good Idea to use Eclipse C++ for developing with Java. If the whole Project would have been in Java I could have used the auto Import feature from Eclipse, but if Eclipse doesn't Know that the Java Files are Java Files it doesn't fucking work. So I just had to spent a whole fucking Day compiling the Projects with Maven so that I can write around 100 Lines of Import...
And the best Thing is, a few Weeks ago the Imports existed so a fucking asshole just erased them when he tried to optimize these...
Sometimes I hate this company -
Do apk's keep record of IDE's that was used to develope them.
Pls show your sympathy for a poor dev like me.
A 400 level student in computer science came to me to develop a mobile app for his final year project, i decided to take the deal. i used react-native to build the app. when i finished the project the aim was achieved but then came the biggest stupid question "which IDE was used for the project?" i answered vsCode. then he said "The IDE i was supposed to use was Android studio" i told him that is not a problem i could use any IDE i prefer its all the same all i need to do is set up the enivronment and he answerd "i have failed my project" he lamented i asked why and he said because his lecturer said the apk must be generated from android studio. i understand that the problem was not because i didnt use pure java(android) or because i used react-native(java(android) but because i didnt use android studio to build the app . i began to question my knowledge "do apk files keep record of ide that was used to develope them? pls help me maybe some apk do. i didnt know how to convince him everything was ok because it seems he is not technically incline he just one of those guys who are taught programing on the white board not on a computer and have no real experience. he later accepted to submit the project like that since the dead line is close and hope to see a fat F on his result but later told me he got an A in the project.5 -
I got a new babe today, Lenovo Yoga 550, i7, 256 SSD...hw do u advice I utilize.. should i partition and have windows OS and my sweet Ubuntu & Arch linux(s) on d base or just vm them on windows..cuz honestly if not for few wares, i hv no business with windows..pls advice.3
-
i wrote a multi thread program for my company and they think its just a single process. i said to the boss: boss, i wrote a multi-thread program pls give me credits. boss said: fruit you you sockitor. do your freaking job. and im adding mybugs now.
-
I’m 20 years old MERN (Mongodb, Express.js, React.js, Node.js) Stack Developer, Working in a start up as a full time employee. They’re paying me 20k (INR) (< $300)/month. I’m in 2nd year of my college for my Bachelor’s Degree in computer Science. My Job is work from home. I’m doing programming for 4 years now. I have 1 year full time experience and extra 6 months internship in the same company and also doing freelance for 1 year. I’ve worked on many technologies like AWS, Azure, GCP, React, Tailwindcss, Flutter, Node.js, Express.js, Docker, Vercel, Linux and keep learning things cause I love doing this. But I think my salary is too low, I work 6 days/ week. They promised me that they’ll increase my salary but I don’t think they will. I think there is a lot I can achieve but nothing I can see right now. I’m not comparing myself to anyone but I think I’m eligible to get good food and good Education cause I’m paying for everything (College, food, etc). Family is not supporting after I started earning. I’ve basic understanding of DSA, Networking, etc. Pls Guide me, Please like what to do.. should I leave my job, if I do then I’ve to serve 45 days of notice period.. They said they’ll raise some amount from this new year. So should I wait to get the offer letter then should I quit.. and even after I quit then where should I apply? Should I apply abroad or Bengaluru? Should I take IELTS Certificate or any other tech certifications? Please Help, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE🙏🙏🙏4
-
gitlab if i put you in side to side diff mode, but its a new file or only additions, just be in line
pls , i know u got the money and smart engineers to do this -
Who has the final say or is in charge hierarchically in your company, product ppl/head/department or the cto/vp r&d?
Pls mention company size small/medium/large
Just want to know what's more accepted in the industry.
To clearify, for example, do most projects ideas get created by the managment and brought to RnD director who then assigns the product team to create the full specifications.
Or, is the idea first reaches product departmnet and then RnD department just gets the specifications and starts work.3 -
I am comfortable in using the MERN stack, and i want to make some money out of it like freelancing and stuff. Is mern good for that use case? Or do i have to learn something like django / .net core? Because people here always say that mern sucks and its very slow.. pls help!!13
-
OKAY GUYS I NEED YOU. I have an idea for an app (bet you’ve heard that before haha) and I really want to make it.
I have to learn swift, so online tutorials are my go to (pls recommend material).
However, I’ve never really done backend before, and I’ll need it to make my project (accounts & stuff). Where do I start for swift/iOS backend programming? Do I need to buy a server? Where do I host the stuff?
Pls help8 -
I am a beginner in programming. Started to code some 9 months back. So far I have learnt some basic C, Python(from LPTHW), HTML, CSS, JavaScript(from Coursera). I want to advance my skill. One of my relatives who is a programmer too advices me to learn SQL now and then learn PHP. So according to you what should I do now. I also want to develop my Python skills to using its frameworks so that I can make some real stuffs with that.
Pls suggest me my next move and also tell me from where can I learn these things( free courses could be of more help to me). I want to quickly learn the most of these so that I can make a dynamic website and web apps in the near future.
Thanks in advance!5 -
PS: sorry the the question is too generic and with very broad boundaries.
PPS: Pls don't mention integration problems?
Ques: I wish to know what kind of software related problems do you devs face/faced in your work,
Say like you were working in version 9.2 postgre and in the end you realised it had to be 9.6 and get doomed or like the bot deployed created it's own error?
PPPS: It would be lovely if you could classify in what category or stage of pipeline does it belong to.
Thanks!!☺️3 -
!rant
//serious
My Android Studio has refused starting up. Problem started after I downloaded v3 which is unstable and thought it could co-exist with v2.3. It messed up my project on v2.3 but I managed to fix it.
Then I did an upgrade on the same v2.3 then everything went south⬇. Now it doesn't start. I've tried changing environment variables for Java. Uninstalled and reinstalled but no luck.
Pls, how do I remedy this?
N.B: right now I am installing IntelliJ as an alternative1 -
Idk if this is the right place to ask but I thought Of this and my parents are sick of trying to satisfy me and they said they don’t even know what I’m asking. I know this is an extremely dumb question. Hypothetically, if a plane full of billionaires carrying only cash crashes mysteriously and cannot be found, now that the money is lost, what happens in the economy. Like how do the banks know how much money is gone and what do they do about it. Like mass inflation? Why can’t they just print an approximate Amount of money to fill up the system again, and if so what happens when they find the plane in a hundred years and the money comes back cuz now we have too much? This all came from wondering how they put the new coins with the kings face in without making the economy blow up, like I would assume they take the same amount of money that are idk too old or something and replace it with the same amount of new money but in that case how do they know and what do they do with the old coins now that they’re out of circulation. If anyone can answer my questions pls help. I might reply to your answer with more questions sorry lmao.10