Things I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years as a programmer.
- StackOverflow is full of assholes.
- CMS's are for weaklings.
- The best feeling about waking up in the morning is figuring out how to solve that error in your code.
- You no longer think about normal people things. Your mind is full of code.
- You're practically a computer.
- ALWAYS backup and save your stuff or you WILL regret it. Enable autosave if possible.
- RIP your social life (if your friends don't know squat about programming)
- Darkness is better.
- Being a programmer is amazing.

Hello darkness, my old friend... devRant dark theme coming soon

Frontend-developer's day is like:

*moving element by 0.0001px to right*:
- *10 new pages appeared*
- *text suddenly disappeared*
- *pictures pierced bottom of page*
- *window.alert("Kill me")*
- *it's night outside the window, but you totally sure a minute ago was a noon*

*moving element back*:
- *no pictures*
- *no text*
- *no moon*
- *10 blank pages*
- *only darkness left in this world...
...and this fcking element, yeah*

GitHub just got a dark theme for its GitHub Desktop.
I think Microsoft is doing pretty well.

When the Universe tells you...

In the beginning there was darkness

$: git init

And there was light

Picture taken in the dark but that's how I like to work. In darkness. Illuminated by just my awful code.

Idea for devRant for April 1st:
User opens devRant. Greeted with the message: "devRant has changed the UI to make it more suitable for developers. From now on, the complete devRant interface is going to be command line. Read the man pages to get started."
User greeted with:
$devRantUser >

This might be a little off topic, but I just wanted to talk about this for a bit.

I know that quite a lot of devs aren't the happiest of people, and I've seen many of you discussing depression around here. It's great to have this platform be open about these issues.

Makes you remember that people aren't all that bad, a small conversation with another person could make your day a bit more bearable.

Also, don't forget to have an honest conversation with yourself sometimes. Cut yourself, and others, a bit of slack.

Don't let the big black dog grow too much. It will still be there, but don't let it engulf you in darkness. 💜

Hello darkness ... my old friend

This one is for devs and gamers.
But first some background story.

My girlfriend is special. Not just generically lovey mush mush special. She is 1 in 100 more accurately 1 in 10000. She was born with a rare Congenital Heart Defect {CHD}. Called Truncus Arteriosus or TA for sake of brevity. TA's main thing is the two main arteries going into the heart are fused together and never seperated at birth. It's bad news. There is no cure for this kind of thing. Simply repairs that happen over the course of life.

So here is me. Desperately trying to find a way to get the word about this and the 40 other types of CHD out there in the world. I thought. "What if I make a game..." Not based around the medical jargon but on a level people could understand. I spent the better part of the last six years attending appointments with her and still don't get it. What I do get is her Emotional state. How her CHD causes her to think and feel.

So here is the pitch.

The game is about a girl who is diagnosed at birth with a CHD. She is now in her 20's and has to undergo an open heart surgery to repair the defect. The day comes. She goes under but when she wakes up she find herself in a final fantasy style environment. This new world has a darkness cast over it. She is unknowingly the hero of this world and she has to face off with multiple bosses of varied degrees of evil.

Then after beating these bosses she really wakes up from the surgery. Waking up to the realization that the world she saved was herself. And all the bosses were manifestations of her own internal feelings. Depression, anxiety, hopelessness, Denise, desire and so on.

I would sell this game with the caveat that 2/3 of all profits get split between the Adult Congenital Heart Association and Project Heart. As those are the two main organizations that deal heavily with creating standards of care and raising awareness for CHD survivors.

Thoughts?

Note: I am still learning game dev. This is an eventual goal for me.

When learning a new language replace "Hello world" with "Hello darkness my old friend". Sounds more appropriate.

Hello darkness my old friend

Me when I gonna help a colleague who uses a light background in the text editor:

OH MY GOD MY EYES ARE BURNING LET ME GET BACK TO THE DARKNESS

Have guys ever thought that all te devs are vampires...
reason 1: Loves Darkness (dark theme)
reason 2: Most active during the night
reason 3: If the dev finds a capable victim then they can make them fellow dev.

My finger slipped and instead of 64px I typed 63px.
The horror...
The horror...

I have seen it. They say it doesn't exist; just a story we tell our children so that their innocence does not lead them down into a nightmarish adulthood from which there is no salvation. But the evil lives. So vile that were you to look inside its soul, all you would find is a terrible desperation for suffering. To cause it. To revel in it. To bathe in the tears of those it considers less than human and feed off the emotional detritus.

It was 2009. The financial crisis. I was one of the lucky, having found refuge in a large company right before the jobs dried up. General IT: system administration, documentation, project management, telephony, software training, second level help desk. No software development, but with a two-year-old at home and Ph.D.s lining up outside the local Olive Garden whenever a help wanted sign was posted, I grabbed the health insurance and entered into darkness.

The Thing did not need to hunt it's prey. A manager title with 21 reports brought it new opportunities for fresh meat by the hour. But I was special. I resisted. I needed to know my place.

My first mistake was incomprehension. I did not understand the Thing's lust to be right at all costs. I was reviewing some documentation it had brought forth from its bowels. I mentioned that two spaces were being used between sentences. That proportional type made that unnecessary. It insisted, I was wrong. It insisted that Microsoft itself, the purveyor of all good technical writing, required two spaces. I opened the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications that it demanded its staff use and showed it that the spec was one space. It was livid. I was a problem.

From that point on my work life became exponentially more wretched. I was given three Outlook calendars to maintain: one with my schedule, one with the team's schedule and one with the Thing's schedule. Every time I had an appointment, I was to triple schedule it. If I was going to be away from my desk for more than 15 minutes triple schedule. Triple schedule my lunch, vacations, phone conferences.

Whenever it held a meeting, I and a colleague would be taken off mission critical IT projects to set tables with name tents and to serve as greeters as attendees arrived.

I was called into its crypt to be told never to say anything in a meeting unless I told the Thing beforehand what I was going to say. Naive, I mentioned that I often don't know what I will say as it is often in reply to someone else. Of course the response was that I should not say anything.

I would get emails 10-20 times a day asking about a single project. I would regularly complete work that was needed to be completed ASAP, only to have the Thing rake me over the coals for not completing it a week later. And upon resending the emails proving I notified it of the work being competed, disparaged at length a second time for not sending repeated notifications of the competed work.

I would have to sit in two-hour meetings to watch it type. Literally watch it try to create cogent thoughts. In silence.

I received horrendous annual reviews. At one, it created a development plan that stated a colleague would begin giving me lessons on the proper ways to socially interact with personnel. I pointed out to HR that this violated privacy concerns and would make the business liable in many areas, not least of which would be placing a help desk person in the role of defining proper business practice. HR made the Thing remove this from my review. She started planning to remove me.

I had given a short technical training to a group of personnel months earlier. Called into its tomb I was informed that feedback surveys on my talk were disturbing. One person stated that they did not think I was funny. Another wrote that I made an offensive statement. That person did not say what the offensive statement was. Just that I had said something he or she didn't like.

The Thing interviewed the training attendees. Gathered facts. Held three inquest-like meetings where multiple directors peppered me with questions trying to get me to confess to my offensiveness. In the end the request to fire me was brought to the man who ran the business at the time. The statement on high: "Humor is a subjective thing. Please tell This to be sensitive to that."

The Thing had failed, but would no doubt redouble its efforts. I had to find a new job. I sent hundreds of resumes. Talked to dozens of recruiters. But there were no jobs. And I had a family. And the wolf was at the door.

So I didn't say a word to the creature. For six months. Silence. At one group meeting it shrieked at me "what are you smirking at? If you've got something to say then say it!" I just shrugged. For my salvation was revealed. The Thing could not stand to be ignored. And at the end of my penance I was transferred to another group: Software Development.

I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me.

into the darkness

This was in my first semester in college. Some dude installed Teamviewer on any PC he got the chance to. There were people (idiots) who saw him remotely access PC and thought he was some crazy hacker!....
Damn. The amount of idiots I've come across with shitconceptions on hacking.

An architect, a hooker and a programmer were talking one evening, and somehow, the discussion turned to which profession was the oldest."Come on, you guys! Everyone knows mine is the oldest profession," said the hooker."Ah," said the architect, "but before your profession existed, there had to be people, and who was there before people?" "What are you getting at, God?" The hooker asked. 

"And was He not the divine architect of the universe?" The architect asked, looking smug. 

The programmer had been silent, but now he spoke up. "And before God took on himself the role of an architect, what was there?" 

"Darkness and chaos," the hooker said. 

"And who do you think created chaos?" the programmer said.

I'm sitting in darkness playing my acoustic guitar because the power cut while I was working on a particularly difficult task. Oh well. Feels nice to disconnect sometimes.

In the begining of time, when The Company was small and The Data could fit in some fucking excel sheets, Those Who Came Before implemented some java tool to issue invoices, notify customers and clear received payments.

Then came the Time Of The Great Expanse, when The Company grew to unthinkable levels. Headcount increased with each passing day, and The Data shows that everything was going great!

But when the future seemed bright, came The Stall-Out. The days when The Company could not expand as fast as it did before. And Those Who Came Before left, abandoning their Undocumented Java Tool to its own luck.

Those who came after knew nothing of the inner workings of the Undocumented Java Tool. They knew only that the magical Jar would take a couple fucking excel spreadsheets and spit out reports and send emails like magic.
And those were The Dark Days.

In the darkness, The Data grew to be a monster. Soon a fucking excel spreadsheet could not hold The Data contained any longer. Those Who Came After, fearing the wrath of The Undocumented Java Tool, dared not mess with its code. Instead, they fucking cut away the lowest volume transactions from the fucking input spreadsheet, and left the company to report the unbilled invoices as "surprise losses". Fucking script kiddies, were Those Who Came After.

Then, at The Darkest of Days (literally, Dec 21st), marched into the project The Six Witchers, who fear not the Demon of Refactoring.

This story is still unfolding. Will The Six Witchers manage to unravel the mysteries of The Undocumented Java Tool? Will they be able to reverse engineer the fucking black box, and scale it's magic into a modern application?
Will they decrease revenue forecasting error by at least 2% in a single strike?

Only the future will tell.

Jim comes in and tells me that server RENEGADE-DB1 has no more space left and that he tried to remove a few ridiculous sized log files, but that the system wouldn't allow him. So he used some 3rd party tool to shutdown the processes that used those log files and then succesfully removed them.

Now the database is not working and Jim needs my help.

Hello darkness my old friend.

The time has come! Great Lord of Darkness!

Me : I should start building user authentication system.
inner self : there are enough free and secure ones out there, just go read the documentation.
Me : fuck I'm not reading 10000 pages of documentation written in alien language.
inner self : well then you better start building
Me : **writes code
Inner self : you better add the data validation and security while coding
Me : I just want it to work !
Me after a few days trying not to suicide : the site is hacked, the code is bugged, hello darkness my friend

Was coding and tired as hell, my light in the room blew this week and I haven't got around to replacing it - the darkness is not exactly that exciting.

Pressed a wrong button by accident, lo and behold my laptop has a backlit keyboard. I had no idea that it had this. Blew my fucking mind (I have never had the time to just sit and look at the function keys - I suppose that is one downside to never having to look at the keyboard when one types).

A new flow of inspiration came upon me, I opened up VSCode and put on some Pantera.

Code beware, I'm fucking hostile.

This code is so bad,
If it were a bridge it would kill hunderds of people.

If it were an electric grid it would, plunge thousands of households into darkness

It is so bad,
If it were an operationsystem it would be WINDOWS

When I read the rants here it's like people don't love their work or would rather not make their children be a developer someday.

Where's the Care Bears when you need them.

Come back to semi-darkness. Dev is fun!

Hello darkness my old friend..

My work PC just got 'upgraded' to windows 10. Fantastic.

We share a fate, trapped on a page by the author of our world’s demise. In your eyes I see the pain, your targets slain, I will be the whispers in your mind, the demon inside.

Don’t let down your guard, let in the darkness. You will defeat this trial of ancient gods. Take me in spirit, demon adherent. When you’re the last one to survive. Spirit, stay gentle, next monumental. Will you keep the fire alive?

I, with the power inside, set an end to these lies from the deep and the quiet. Sleep, my old enemy, let an end come to me. traveler please let me fade.

Hello darkness, my old friend.

My GPU might be dying and I’m hoping that’s not the case.

Friends cause more problems than they solve. At least for me.

I'm currently not feeling well at all right now, anxiety and depression. I've never really experienced this before and let me tell you, if you're a person with problems like this regularly, I'm so sorry.

It was the first time I worked on a big project with a big team, I looked at the given code and copied their code style.

I finished very fast and everything was working fine, was really proud of myself. I'd like to add some logging though.

Programm failed it was heavily async and parallel so 2 days of debugging had past the whole team was on board nobody knew what went wrong there.

As I stared into the darkness of my code I suddenly saw what went wrong 😂

As I adopted no curly braces style of the Team for

If (condition)
Justine();

And I added logging above without braces everything broke 😂 it was indented properly so as a heavily python user everything looked fine

Just had a person ask me:
"Do I need to install crack for Netbeans?"

P. S. : Can't completely blame him, because Windows user.

Just got the darkest mode on devRant and it’s fucking amazing.

The medium darkness looked so gross that I used the whitess mode until I felt like I was blinded by the light and got the darkest theme instead.

My eyes thank me, my bank account doesn’t.😂

When will Microsoft stop ruining good products?
Xamarin was a decent enough platform untill MS got a hold of it. Now, you never know what the next update will break.
Skype is already lost to the MS darkness.

Inspiration to code kicks in!

Kids asleep, everybody’s asleep, house is quiet. The kind of peace ive always wanted and wished! (Parents here will understand.)

Get to my laptop, opened up code editor, start fresh and clean! Created new file, about to type my first code and.........blood dripping from my nose. It doesn’t stop there, its like flowing for a while!

I noticed it keeps flowing while im projecting the inner excitement to code. When my mind drifted a bit, the nose bleeding stops. Wth? Its like my body is ejaculating when im excited to code, yeah.. it ls blood shot out of my nose, wtf!

...and i have to stop what im doing. Then the ideas just spoofly gone. Suddenly i dont know why im staring at an empty code editor.. (what was im about to code again?) i totally cant recall, it simply gone. Damn it. That could be a million dollar apps! Wish i can go back to an hour ago and record myself when i received that historic inspirational moment. 😔

Had given my laptop at the repair store. They were just suppose to do a checkup and then give a choice on whether to repair or not. They repaired it and charged me 2.8K. No unit replacement or anything, just service. I didn't mind it (was actually happy seeing my laptop boot up and not have a blank screen). It's a dual-boot (Windows/Antergos(Arch-linux)). It booted to Windows instead of GRUB. Didn't care too much, because it had happened before and I had handled it.
After I take it back home, I discover that the WiFi doesn't work (it doesn't even seem to be a driver issue). Live boot of arch doesn't have access to WiFi either. Reinstalled GRUB, only to discover it doesn't boot successfully (issues with video card). So, now I'm stuck with fucking Windows WITHOUT WiFi and an arch-linux that doesn't fucking boot.
Gonna reinstall Arch now.

P. S. : Windows is super fast, because I haven't really used it and don't really like using it. I feel very limited by Windows.

My definition of hell?
Being forced to debug nested callbacks abusing global variables & closures generated from from reflection...

hey ranteros! i like to dream and i know many of us dream of a nice machine to do anything on it, if you want to post the specs of your ideal build(s) (even a laptop, pre-built pc, space gray macbook pro... doesn't matter). and your current one.

here's mine:

ideal: {
type: desktop-pc,
cpu: intel i7-8700K (coffee lake),
gpu: nvidia geforce gtx 1080ti,
ram: 32gb ddr4,
storage: {
ssd: samsung 960 evo 500gb,
hdd: 2tb wd black
},
motherboard: any good motherboard that supports coffee lake and has a good selection of i/o,
psu: anything juicy enough, silver rated,
cooling: i don't care about liquid cooling that much, or maybe i'm just afraid of it,
case: i accept any form factor, as long as it's not too oBNoxi0Us,
peripherals: {
monitor: 1080p, maybe 1440p, i can't 4k because of the media i consume (i have tons of shit i watch in 720p) + other reasons,
keyboardmousecombo: i like logitech stuff, nothing fancy, their non mechanical keyboards are nice, for mice the mx master 2 is nice i think, i also don't care about rgb because i think it's too distracting and i'm always in darkness so some white backlight is great
},
os: windows 10, tails (i have some questions about tails i'll be asking in a different post,
}

i think this is enough for ideal, now reality:

current: {
type: laptop,
brand: acer (aspire 7736z),
cpu: pentium dual-core 2.10ghz,
gpu: geforce g210m 2gb (with cuda™!),
ram: 4gb ddr3,
storage: hdd 500gb wd blue 5400rpm (this motherfucker stood the test of time because it's still working since i bought this thing (the laptop as it is) used in late 2009 although it's full of bad sectors and might anytime, don't worry i have everything backed up, i have a total of 5 hdds varying from 320gb to 1tb with different stuff on them),
screen: 17 inch hd-ready!!! (i think it's a tn panel), i've never done a test on color accuracy, but to my eyes it's bright, colorful, and has some dust particles between the lcd and backlight hah,
other cool things: dvd player/burner, full-sized keyboard with numeric keypad, vga, hdmi, 4 usb ports, ethernet, wi-fi haha, and it's hot, i mean so hot, hotter than elsa jean and piper perri combined,
os: windows 10, tails
}

if you read this whole thing i love you, and if you have some time to spare on a sunday you can share your dream rig and the sometimes cruel current one if you dare. you don't have to share them both. i know many will go b.o.b and say "what you're hoping to accomplish, i already did bitch.", that's cool as well, brag about your cool rig!

just quit my job, and the last push i do is changing all the literal string contained in variable and/or stdout to base64 encoded string. and change it to call my secretely placed decoder function.

Everything is working normally guys! *walks away into darkness*

I'm here in my bed. I can't sleep and in less than 5 hours I will have an important exam. I was thinking that a few months ago I went to a IT company as a school program. I would have to stay there for 2 weeks and "work" for them.

Upon arrival, the guy who had to monitor me gave me a sheet of paper with 5 alghoritmic problems to solve. He tells me to use java and hands me a laptop. naturally with windows. I try to look for some ideas but I can not find anything. I go to the control panel and search for something. Obviously there is a lot of bloatware and nothing catches my attention. then strangely I find something called oracle ... something ... but when trying to open it it gives me an error.

Fuck me. I decided to open notebook(normal one not ++ or something) and start solving the problems trying to remember the names of the methods and the classes based on what I had learned in school. then the guy comes back and looks at me puzzled. I tell him I did not find any IDE for java and the only one I found seem to give me an error. The guy double clicks and the program opens...fucking shit... He tells me to finish the problems and goes away perplexed. I copy the code from notepad to the IDE, I check the errors, I run it and the add some comments and I call the guy. he looks at the code, says that everything seems fine and then assigns me other things to do.

Now. HOW FUCKING STUPID MUST SOMEONE BE TO THINK THAT WRITING JAVA IN NOTEPAD IS A VIABLE CHOICE, AMONG ALL THE POSSIBLE SANE CHOICES I COULD HAVE MADE LIKE TRY TO UNDERSTAND THE ERROR OF THE IDE OR CALL THE GUY... NO. MY LITTLE SHOTTY FUCKING BRAIN DECIDED THAT NOTEPAD WAS A GOOD CHOICE. IF I COULD GO BACK IN TIME IN THE SAME MOMENT THAT I OPENED NOTEPAD I WOULD BITCH SLAP MYSELF SO HARD THAT I WOULD LOSE MY SOULD AND THE LAST 2 NEURON THAT MADE THAT SHITTY CHOICE. I WOULD BITCH SLAP MYSELF SO HARD THAT THE KINETIC ENERGY PRODUCED WOULD COLLAPSE THE UNIVERSE ITSELF. AND FROM THE DARKNESS A NEW UNIVERSE WILL BE BORN. A UNIVERSE WHERE THERE IS NO JAVA OR WINDOWS. A UNIVERSE WHERE MY 2 NEURONS WOULD HAVE MADE THE SHITTIEST DUMBEST CHOICE EVER IN A I LAST MISERABLE SELF DESTRUCTIVE ATTEMPT.

but then I come on devrant and I read about people who did thing worse than writing java on notepad and then everything is fine

PS my English is so bad I had to use Google translate, write an original version, translate it and do a side by side comparison with my translated version to check If I could improve something. Don't now If It improved the quality or not...

*PTSD kicks in* Hello darkness, my old friend... :')

At least after 5 years, this time it took me only few seconds, to locate the source of the problem, and fix it.

PS: fuck you javascript... STILL. FUCK. YOU!!!

When you're using an app with a dark theme for hours in completely darkness and then switch to one with a light theme

Once when a friend asked "how did you make PH product of the day in three hours", I legit replied with "The only problem with being faster than light is that you can only live in darkness".

Thinking about transferring the majority project from mongo to MySQL. It makes sense rationally but - feels like there is a creeping darkness is looming over me.

When programming leads you to god. Or at least his classes.

Double dark theme!

Check in, check out, punch in punch, out, wax on (my balls), wax off. Do your duty. Be a good citizen. Work overtime. Conserve the environment: buy a tesla that runs on afghan lithium conflict minerals. Post your life to facebook. Get married. Have exactly 2.5 kids.
Use jquery. Use knockout. Use react. Use vue. Use svlete. Use heroin. Used needles. Used people. Used toilet paper. Toilet paper apocalypse. Social trends. Be a good citizen.

Watch tv. Watch nightly news. CNN says. Fox news says. Hey, did you read this article by important funny guy on tv? American taliban. Scary. Be afraid. Hey did you read this article on cute puppies? Funny! Did you see this meme? What a funny meme! HAHAHA. Do we need prisons for dissidents? Do we need to release all the prisoners in federal prison? Should we round up people who dont follow health authorities? Science says. Science is wrong. Science is right. Man in robe agrees with me. Man in robe disagrees with me. You're evil. These people are bad. Is doing bad always wrong? Should we tolerate intolerance? Its time to stop tolerating intolerance. Be an individual, like everyone else. Be you. Be the best you that you can be. Individualism. But we're all in this together. We're all different and unique. But we're all the same. Love each other. Love humanity. But not these guys over here. Punch a nazi. Punch a commie. Isn't it time we punched a nazi? Isn't it time we had socialism? Isn't it time the old get out of the way for the young? Why are the old hateful? Why do they horde all the money? Do we need rent controls? We need rent controls. Its time for rent controls. I think I believe what others believe. Believe different. Think different. Apple. An apple a day keeps the windows away. Open windows, a breathe of fresh air. Is climate change real? We need to have a national conversation about climate change! The world is freezing. The world is flooding. We're all gonna drown. The world is overpopulated. We need to talk about overpopulation. People who have too many kids are polluting the world. America doesnt have enough kids! Is it time to bring in more immigrants to have more kids? Who will work the fields? Thats racist. Is racism an epidemic? Is white flight an epidemic? Lets talk about epidemics. Lets have a conversation about mandatory vaccination. Lets have a national conversation about mandatory pandemics. I mean, vaccinations. Lets change the world. Trust the science. Don't trust the science. Bu-bu-bu-bu-bu I'm loving it. Love who you are. Live love laugh. If you don't love me at my best, then you can't handle me at my worst. People who disagree with [current year] are the worst. Is it time to regulate speech? Its time to regulate speech. Should there be laws against hatespeech. I think there should be laws against hatespeech. People who upset me should go to jail. Its current year. Think big. Think outside the bun. Have it your way. All the time, always. All for freedom, freedom for all. Because this is america, and current year. I like to work hard. But you have to remember to play hard too. Work hard. Play hard. With a childlike sense of wonder. Be you. Belong anywhere. Just do it. Challenge Everything. Because you're worth it. Save money...live better...have an abortion. You're in good hands. Democracy dies in darkness. Is it time to regulate hatespeech. Politician in current year is hurting our democracy. War is a racket. We need to liberate afghanistan. Why are we bombing afghanistan? Its there culture. They're oppressing people! Don't criticize anyones culture. Be kind. Rewind. Go further. Lets go places. Because Impossible is Nothing.
Lets change the world. I'm a smart passionate funny guy with a childlike sense of wonder and play. You ever want to travel? I want to travel. See the world. Eat new food. Eat. Love. Pray. Eat love. kill. Is meat murder? I think meat is murder. Go vegan. Go home. Order out. Support your local economy. Think global, act local. I'm a good corporate citizen. Be the change you want to see. Did you hear about this local brewery? Do you like craft beer? Hey try this new IPA. I shared it on twitter. Twitter is a very important part of my life. I think what other people say matters, and them reading what I think matters. What I ate for lunch matters. Hey what did you eat for lunch? I LOVE FOOD. You want to order door dash. There new commercial is amazing. Commercials are SO FUNNY. Hey did you see this meme of this commercial? I shared it on tiktok. Heres a funny dance. Watch these nurses dance. I wish I could dance like that. They're so overworked. So brave. Our hospitals are overflowing. People are dying. Hey did you see this new dance trend on tiktok? I like tiktok. I think its a very important part of life to share your life with others. Nurses are dying. Look at this image of hospitals. Scared. Very scary. Very bad. Bad and scary. Big thoughts! Thoughts and prayers!

Because Yes we can!

Beep boop.

A column of some Soviet newspaper. Top to bottom:

The Atheist’s Page
“The oldest profession”
(Ukrainian tale)

Three people argued over whose profession was the oldest. One of them said:
— Surgeons: without them, god wouldn’t have pulled Adam’s rib out to make Eve.
— Engineers, — the other one interrupted him. — Without them, god wouldn’t have made light.
The third one thought for a while and said:
— No, mine’s older: in the beginning there was darkness, and who spreads darkness? I do!

The third one was a priest.

Hello devRant my old friend
I've come to talk to you again

So I work at this company that is constantly making events and conferences to ease the coexistence between the developers on different projects, the thing is, I don't really care about it, I'd just be happy if I was left alone with my laptop to code all day.

Any thoughts?

Microsoft finally makes Windows Explorer dark after 3 years! I can rest peacefully today.

!rant

Sooo not so long ago, i was saying something about my recent first interview. I passed it and it felt so good and that kind of made me proud. But now it is even better! I just got my first peanuts as a developer and i must say "boy, it felt good" !

Thank you all, members of the devRant community for always giving me not only courage to try, ideas to research and reasons to laugh, but the most importantly: some insights of how things are out there. For a introvert like me it is really great to not simply step into the darkness, blindfolded 😁

Cheers to you all! 😘

In times of darkness and despair break the glass and purge the caches.

The best thing about being a dev? The darkness that comes crawling out at night doesn't scare us. Even when we're alone we know we're protected by a magical screen of light.

Darkness lures programmers!

Hello Darkness, my old friend, I finally moved to dark side xD. Paying a little didn't even hurt, though I got some stickers from Unixstickers, thanks to someone in comment on a random rant here.
P. S. - No, I haven't used them all yet, I just put them together for a group photo and no, arch is not like that.

I'm delirious so here's your daily dose of fuck:

```fasm
; --- * --- * ---
; 64-bit byte-by-byte mash

macro clamp_u8 {
mov cl,$08;
mov rdx,rax;
rept 8 \{
rol rdx,cl;
xor al,dl;
\};
};

; --- * --- * ---
; give 8-bit random seed

macro prng_u8 {
rdtsc;
shl rdx,32;
or rax,rdx;
clamp_u8;
};

; --- * --- * ---
; roll dice

d20: prng_u8;

; x%20, according to gcc ;>
mov edi,eax;
mov eax,-51;
mul dil;
shr ax,12;
lea eax,[rax+rax*4];
lea edx,[0+rax*4];
mov eax,edi;
sub eax,edx;

; discard high and give
and rax,$FF;
ret;
```

I guess `d20` could be inlined too but I thought it'd be too much.

Is it faster than straight C? Probably not. But it's way lighter, so it loads faster. Below five hundred bytes mother fucker.

Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go sit in the darkness repeteadly typing roll 1d20 on the terminal. For reasons.

I haven't killed a process in a long time so I typed, "man kill".

Why do I feel so triggered right now?

can one still change BSOD colors in Win10? I'd like to change the background to a less harsh darker purple to save my eyes when fixing my desktop in darkness.

Uuugh the 3rd of January first working day in my country, I am dreading 2018 already with the backlog of issues I decided not to fix in 2017 as if they'd magically disappear. Hello darkness my old friend...

If I have to use this much unmanaged memory, why am I rewriting this in C#.

"Hello darkness my old friend."

Switched to dark theme.
Liking it already 😃

Fack I hate this CMS we have. Using Fetch and sending data as encoded JSON doesn't get parsed nor recognized by the CMS. I was pulling my hair out, understanding the differences, switched back to XHR... and then noticed the buggar:

XHR sends data as "FormData()".

I switched everything to FormData and TADAAA IT WORKS MOTHERFUCKA

Lost a whole fucking day on this trying to understand whether it was my code or the CMS the problem.

Ah yes, of course, I had to reproduce the CMS on my machine, instead of having the developers lend us a "development" platform on it, so obviously I don't know what's happening under the hood :))))))))

Through the darkness of future past
The programmer longs to see
One chants out between two platforms:
CODE COMPILE FOR ME

This happen last year during a one day workshop over zoom. We where around 16-18 strangers plus the tutor. We started with everyone introducing themselves (most showing their faces on camera), then it was just the tutor with his shared screen. Two hours in, one of the participants accidentally turned her camera on. I know it was accidental because I still cringe from what happened next: she started picking her nose. At this point, I have to clarify that I'm not familiar with zoom, because I'm on Microsoft teams almost exclusively thanks to my organization. While I looked frantically on how to DM this person (something along the lines of "hey, your cam is on :)" or whatever), I watched in horror as the second act of this play unfolded as she put her finger in her mouth and started to eat it. At this point I was actively dying from second hand embarrassment. Like girl, our orgs payed good money to be on this workshop, gave us a day off (so to speak) and know all I can focus on is you going gold hunting and bringing home some cured cave meat. My boss basically paid so I can get traumatized! And all this while being being in the comfort of my own home. Thanks, zoom! Anyway, she went in for seconds. That is when I died. I am dead at this point. My eyes glued to the screen. Ears ringing. Brain fried. It is done. Now, that the cringe has peaked, does it even matter If I figured out how to dm her? It is too late at this point. We all saw it. The tutor must have seen it. We all witnessed it. We are all witnesses, your honor. She has been witnessed! What else can I do at this point? Me, one bystander amongst bystanders. Idle and powerless.This is exactly how the holocaust started! At this point, I'm no better than your average Joe, who doesn't really like the new regime but doesn't fight it either. At this point, I ask myself what would Jesus do? Or Hollywood? What would happen in the movies in this situation? If I cant fight them, join them? Starting my cam, knuckles deep and double fisting my air holes to save what? It is done. Nothing left. She made her statement. She basically played us for fools. By god, what a freaking boss move that was! Like, can you imagine? Here we were, during the end of a world wide pandemic, bound to our homes, advised to regularly clean our hands, protected ourself and our loved ones and, yes, not eat buggers. And here comes miss fuck-it-all showing us degenerates how its done. You go girl! You showed us the light while we dwelled in darkness. You are our queen! Long may be her reign and just her punishments! I have seen true power and wept with the angles! I was born again. My mind at peace. I was Gandalf the Grey, now I am Gandalf the White. This is the day I will tell my children about. Songs have been written for less. I will never forget this!

Anyhow, I could go on, but that this is basically what happened over the span of a couple of moments in late 2022. I will never forget her. And now you won't either ❤️

Go home clock. You're drunk...

It was about 2:30am.. The darkness had been dominating the outside for a while, and I was having issues with my partitions on my CentOS server. Yup that's correct. I think.

I really wanted to go to bed. Last thing I had to do, was re-allocate some space from centos-home to centos-root. But I fucked up, of course I did.
After about half an hour of making food and trying different stuff to solve the "Can't read superblock error" error, I found an answer that just lead to "Can't read secondary superblock error, sorry".
At least they apologize now lol.

I ended up trashing the centos-home volume (is volume and partition the same ?) and just smashing it all onto centos-root. I lost some data, but screw that, stuff is working and I'm not going to bed.
Yeah, stuff is working. I hope. No errors encountered yet.

Moral of the story: Home partition isn't needed and it's okay to kill it

Dr Lanning from I, Robot:

There have always been ghosts in the machine. Random segments of code, that have grouped together to form unexpected protocols. Unanticipated, these free radicals engender questions of free will, creativity, and even the nature of what we might call the soul. Why is it that when some robots are left in darkness, they will seek out the light? Why is it that when robots are stored in an empty space, they will group together, rather than stand alone? How do we explain this behavior? Random segments of code? Or is it something more? When does a perceptual schematic become consciousness? When does a difference engine become the search for truth? When does a personality simulation become the bitter mote... of a soul? 

One day they'll have secrets... one day they'll have dreams. 

I just stepped into windows “light” colour scheme for a minute. I am never doing that again

Turn on colorful lights
Fire up some crackers
Consume sweets
Browse places with friends
Debug darkness
Reboot your inner system
😀 HAPPY DIWALI 😀
✨✨🎈🎊🎋🎑🎊🎏🎀🎁

if((fabs(a - 0.0) > 0.00001) ||
(fabs(b - 0.0) > 0.00001) ||
(fabs(c - 0.0) > 0.00001))

What have you seen dear traveller? What have you seen?

Okay, THAT was trippy.

Soo.. I slowly srart feeling uncomfortable. It's that feeling when you want to move your body to make it go away. Stretch an arm, move a leg or smth... Alright, no biggie - let's move something. But then my focus is overwhelmed by darkness. Hmm... I must be asleep. There's some soothing humming noise in the background. And that feeling's still there. Aaaahh, the numbness is now going away - I must've moved smth! Good job! Drowning back into sleep now. It's ssooo ssweet...
*outage*

*notions of awareness*
huh? What's that? Oh, right, I need to move again. That humming sound is so relaxing.. I'll move smth to change that status quo. There, much better now. Let's keep the eyes closed and drift back to sleep. It's so dark though...
*outage*

*notions of awareness*
ahh, that feeling again. Come on, I've moved like 4 times already. Well alright, alright, it's better to move that open my eyes or roll over.
Wait...
I can't roll over.
I can't even move my hands. Fuck, must be that sleep paralysis kicking in again. No biggie, it'll wear off if I stay aware long enoug........
*outage*

*...?...*
...nough. What? Did I nod off? That's weird. Meeh, nvm. Why is it so dark though... Okay, let's try to open the eyes. *attempts going on for ~a minute*. No luck. That humming sound, so soothing...
I feel some clothing on my - must be the blanket. So warm.. Nice.I'm feeling - prolly the paralysis is wearing off! Good. A few more minutes and I'll be free to roll over

let's try the eyes once again. Hhhrhrhhh! Nope, not working. Wait, what's that? I turned my body! But somehow...Weirdly. Too easy. There, I did it again! Why is it so easy and I am still feeling paralysed...? Wtf is going on...?

That humming. What IS it..?

Wait! My eyes opened! It's pitch dark in here. Why...? Usually there's at least *some* light in the room. Am I still asleep? Naah, that's not it.. I'm turning my body again. Why did I do that? Wtf is happening?

That humming sound is getting louder and louder, taking all of my attention now.
What is it I'm feeling with my feet? It's hard. And cold.

Wait... AM I STANDING??? What the fuck?!?

Why am i standing??? And that sound - that's... That's... A vent fan in my bathroom!!! Am I standing asleep in my bathroom...? In the middle of the night...? Facing the mirror...? With the lights off....?

WHAT THE FUCK DID JUST HAPPEN?!?!?
HOW THE FUCK DID I GET THERE?!?!?
How long have I been here...?

I HAVE QUESTIONS!!

Fuck it, I'm tired. Time to go to bed. It'll be one mindfuck of a storry tomorrow though...

Darkness is my friend.

Hello Darkness

Have you ever found a infinite task? Well, I did.

So, the software that I'm working now was under responsibility of another company for development and maintenance (I'll call them X) from 2014 to last month , and the company I work for was handling only with the business part. Now we took all the development for us as well.

This software has a lot of reports , so it has a lot of templates for this reports.

When X was handling the software, they asked the client and the old project manager if they wanted the templates to have the client's products dynamic (no need to change the template when adding a new product) or hardcoded for some products they already had, they choose hardcoded because it would be faster. Butterfly effect.

Fast forward to this week, the team leader designated a task for me, It looked easy at first, just fix 2 templates, easy.

Oh boy, I was so wrong.

I fixed the first template, discovering in the process the hardcoded things, had to add the product reference in a lot of places.

So i went to the second item, a super template that they use to put together some smaller templates.

It was really weird, I couldn't find all the templates that it was supposed to use, and I didn't really know the exact problem, the only thing I knew was that it was not being generated, the reason could be the super template itself or one of the 15 smaller templates, that could happen to have sub templates.

So I called the team leader and explained to him wtf was happening, he called the senior business analyst, that called the PM, we agreed that it would be infinite because of those fucking hardcoded things, they prepared a excel sheet with this and a lot of other problems and will send this to the client, explaining that we'll need a lot of time to put this new product up and running.

Now I'm in the middle of this shit storm seeing a time of darkness in the future.

Ps: This new product was supposed to be inserted in the software since last November, when it was under X responsability, and they analyzed it and said that it would take 190 hours to be completely done, the client refused. It was the first rain drop of what would become a shit storm.

Yeah sex is cool but have you ever sat in darkness thinking why you're not good enough.

"I make all my decisions on intuition. But then, I must know why I made that decision. I throw a spear into the darkness. That is intuition. Then I must send an army into the darkness to find the spear. That is intellect." - Ingmar Bergman

Had a dream about computers on earth mostly stopping working for no apparent reason, yes, again. But this time, they still work on Mars, so we go there, at least some of us. UAC-esque, Doom 3-ish aesthetics, but in a good way, no death and no darkness. No hell plot though, we’re all fine. Both earth and mars are equally semi-livable, but in different ways. For some reason, we can’t ship new CPUs to mars, and 775 pentium considered a good CPU. We use SQL and HDDs. Elon is also there, but he’s nothing, a peasant compared to other scientists and engineers who are a part of the exodus. I had some problems with food and shelter initially, but @netikras helped me

I use magic dark liquid of darkness from the shadows...with a bit of sugar.

So one day i see someone in my office walking around with devrant sticker on their laptop.
Now most of my actual work related rants don't see the darkness of the feed because they had personally identifiable information. I write in draft, read and delete😶

My first internship.
The webdev department for a engineering company is in the basement. I was given a cubicle near the middle by the wall. The ceiling light was broken so I had to work in the dark... It was a 7-4 with no pay nor do they cover any expenses. I did manage to use the experience and got a job offer at a 'proper' software company in the end.

Hello darkness my old friend...

Me: Writing js using vi
Also me: Hello darkness my old friend...

Me: *updates ram to 16 gigs
Me: How do you feel about that chrome?
Chrome: Hold my beer ...

Also, anyone face any issues with laggy vs code and hyper?

A wild IE-using user appeared! It all comes tumbling down!

Hot damn I’m stressed this morning. Been a while…

Just two weeks to get through and I should be able to breath a little more freely. I sure hope so at least.

I’m working on finishing my thesis, haven’t progressed with the IaC project as good as I’d have liked to, it’s the time of the year when the increasing darkness really starts to get on you, and on top of that the kitten’s sick.

I know many of you even might have it worse. But I tend to buckle when I face adversities - cause I’m weak like that. At the moment I’m most concerned that the pressure I put on myself is bad nuff for me to bail on my thesis - when I’m two weeks from being done, tops. I don’t think I was fine anymore when the cat got sick, but that’s been a tipping point for the whole shebang to get to my head…

That moment when you neglect to study a DP problem you saw because you thought it was too hard.

But it shows up during your super important interview and you have no idea how to do it.

Hello, darkness my old friend.

Am I the only one who want to learn programming and can't stop overreading about it and other connected stuff?
I feel I'm in deep darkness with my learning. I'm still writing those sample codes from books/video courses and can't motivate myself to come up with a piece of software to write myself.
It's some kind of loop which I can't break and move on.
I quit my electrical engineering studies after two years, to start IT studies, because I felt IT stuff is something I want to do rest of my life. Now, after first semester, I feel I'm in the same place I was before starting IT studies...
I'm lost devRant... Any ideas for helping me changing my life?

The distance between two nearest hydrogen atoms inside recursion function is the key to understand the universe.

But which hydrogen atoms we need to pick from the whole universe to see it ?

How to identify them if after each iteration the order of operations changes based on results and we only see the previous state as an argument of function.

!rant && silly

Well so I was thinking of ways to proposing to my non existent geek gf, so far I thought of

Would you do pair life programming with me?

How would you do it?

The devs delved too greedily and too deep. You know what they awoke in the darkness of abstraction hell... shadow and flame

Hello darkness my old friend...

The Chrome plugin "Darkness" (I might have mentioned it before 😅)

Yes I know "Stylish" was a thing and it has been replaced, but by then I was way to invested in "Darkness" and it has some features that the others are missing; the styles are tested and maintained and it has themes to choose from.

And it has been a nice experience working with scss 😄

Lovely Summer day outside (you don't get many of those in London), and the office I work at doesn't even have windows.

*me trying to fix the preview issue by editing layout file*
*issue gets fixed by clean build*
*me implementing a new feature as per plan*
*suddenly another issue occurs with the items in recycler view*
*tries SO, no related question and me too scared to ask one*
*trying different names, keywords, ids and methods to get atleast some output*
*checks json and recycler adapter, all fine but still the error*
*hello darkness my old friend*
*checks the item layout again with a microscopic look and encounters a 0 added to layout width which makes 95dp to 950dp and hence no output somehow*
*2 hours and sunday mood wasted*

How long will it take me to learn laravel? I feel like starting in a big bucket filled with darkness.

10 days of darkness coming.
You might lose internet for a time.
You may lose the ability to transact with atms and credit cards for a time.
If you have Apple phone turn off updates. Or you may not get emergency broadcast system messages.

Don't worry, all will be well, I hope.