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*In Office
Coworker raises his head, looks at boss: "I'm leaving".
Boss raises head looks at coworker: "Ok".
All this took 5 seconds,..the weirdest 5 seconds of my life10 -
don't disturb the coders who wear head phones. It will take 2 more hours to make them back to track4
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Replaced semi colons (;) with a greek question mark (;) in my colleague's c# code.. He's now scratching his head... :D
27 -
Listening to Linkin Park while coding.
Head banging, foot tapping, just singing along in my head.
Then the boss messaged me, "should we produce some tickets?".
Apparently, I'm singing rather loudly.
Earth, swallow me up now.27 -
What kind of music from video games has stuck in your head?
For me it was nearly all music from American McGee's Alice(because that OST is absolutely unique), Bumby's Office from Alice: Madness Returns, along with some other music, Crysis 2 Theme(it stuck in my head for at least a month after having beaten it), some songs from Still Life, the theme for Ori and the Blind Forest, Halo Theme(of course), and others I just cannot remember...48 -
> New hire in company
> Uses white theme in IDE
> Sits next to me
> Get blind everytime when turning head left 😭14 -
Acceptable places to leave your bag when you get in, in the morning:
- Under your desk
- On your desk
- Infront of your locker
- On the back of your chair
- etc.
Unacceptable, is to throw your bag behind you and to the right, so it ends up in the middle of the floor and behind my chair.
Consistent use of this space, and me tripping over it will result in 2 things:
1. I will intentionally run over your bag, back and forth until I am satisfied everything is broken.
2. I will then pickup said bag and throw it, with force, at your head.4 -
Sometimes I feel I'm an app developer, a web developer, a sysadmin, an ethical hacker and a programmer who's comfortable in several languages. At other times, I feel like I just know how to use the internet.5
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That moment when something bad happens and ctrl+Z pops in to your head. Then realise ur not using a computer.1
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> Bang head against issue for days
> Finally get help from lead
> Watch them bang their head against it on video for 40 minutes
> Watch them shake their head in disbelief at how difficult to follow and objectively wrong the existing code is
> Talk through approach to fixing it and patching in the new functionality
> Listen to a short recap
> Ask question, get answer
> Chat about next company meet
> Meeting adjourns
> Jot down implementation notes before I forget
> Remember answer to question, forget everything else
FFFFUUUUUUUUUUU 😭7 -
This is going to be a long rant, coz this is the only way to vent out my frustration against our tech head.
Yesterday, while our fucking twat tech head was playing around in company aws account, he terminated the production server. By mistake, apparently. Coz he doesn't know shit about server management. But that egoist ass won't admit and fucked the production server.
And then ran away. We developers sprang into action. Updated dns to point to staging server, setup virtual hosts, env files, point to prod database, force flush dns cache. All systems were up and running in 30 mins. And since it was staging server, it had lot of untested features and codes, and we spent rest of the day fixing the bugs.
And that tech head, who ran away hiding his tail between his legs, after he fucked the server, came back after systems were up. And started cracking jokes, that "so many features got released in 1 day" . "We cut server cost by shutting down 1 server."
We were struggling and working in full throttle to make the services running again. And that fuckity fucker was cracking jokes.
And I don't even know what excuse he gave to ceo for the downtime. I am pretty sure he would have made up some crappy excuse to hide his fucking mistake. That ass never admits his mistake. I am thinking to go to ceo today and tell the real story and get that faggot head fired or at least a strict warning.4 -
I consider myself a web developer for over 7 years.
Today, I learnt that http features a HEAD request.
Wut.5 -
My last girlfriend was a Linked List. It was easy to get head but getting tail required serious effort.3
-
"We’re putting a bullet through Google’s head" - Cyanogen, 2015
"Cyanogen services shutting down on December 31, 2016” - Cyanogen, 2016
28 -
Taking a dump and showering are my number one non dev activities. They help to clear your head and when your head is empty you will get the best ideas and solutions.4
-
Bumped my head very badly
To check if my brain was alright, I revised recursive factorial program.3 -
Well, after two hours of scratching my head, I found that angular.isNumber () returns true when you pass in a NaN. Brilliant.2
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Just waiting for the day were a head hunter mail starts with: "We saw your profile on devRant and found it very interesting how you comment your daily anger while being a dev....."3
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Someone: Be grateful that you aren’t laid off, and received all your pay checks in time.
Me: Be grateful that I haven’t severed you head and eaten noodles in your skull yet.
Of course I say it out loud in my head.1 -
Every time I read "JSON" I get Heavy Rain in my head.
"Jason! Ja-son! Jason!"
https://youtu.be/nN81CU2b9rA?t=593 -
Sometimes taking a break can really clear your head. Yesterday evening, I was programming with my mate and couldn't find a very persistent bug. Didn't want to get a break because I just wanted to solve it. He convinced me to go downstairs and get a drink. Reached the bottom of the stairs aaaaand poof, figured out the bug!1
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When I slice the head off a list I usually call the rest decapitated.
const [head, ...decapitated] = myList1 -
Today, June 18 is my thirteenth wedding anniversary!! My wife is amazing and helps
Me keep my head on straight.9 -
Head of IT department asked me to configure Apache from phpmyadmin. There occured 5 seconds of silence after he said that.6
-
<!DOCTYPE html>
<head>
<title>hiCloudflare</title>
<link rel="stylesheet" src="main.css" />
</head>
<body>
<h1> Don't mind me, just taking my buffers for a walk</h1>
<script type=2 -
My boss, head of IT, doesn't see the benefits of using slack at our company. He thinks it's like instant messenger...11
-
Clients having conversations in their own head then claiming you were there when they said (imagined) it.1
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I’m privileged to work with hEaD oF eNginEeriNg.
If site == ISO:
from ISO import *
If site == ISO:
from ISO import *
If site == ISO:
from ISO import *
If site == ISO:
from ISO import *
If site == ISO:
from ISO import *
….
This repeats 11 times.12 -
My head hurts so much right now...
So there's a beautiful hilarious woman next door and we're getting really close (friend close), but she's 26 and she's just messing with my head so much, wtf is going off???77 -
That moment when your developer friends talk about some new programming language and all you can do is just nod your head because you don't have a clue.
PS. They will definitely read this rant and know the next time, I just nod my head :D1 -
the next person to say I do web design will be kicked in the head repeatedly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!22
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When your head actually really hurts because you have been thinking intensively for 8h straight...3
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Anyone else here thing their head would explode if they knew something like this at their workplace?
8 -
So the other day I randomly checked out a few job postings on some recruiting agency’s website. Didn’t even sign up or anything.
The very next day I get a call from them. The person on the phone tells me they noticed I had visited their website and was wondering if I was interested in applying to any of the offers. Even as a developer I was totally taken aback as to how they managed to track me down based on a single visit.
I believe I ended up on their website by clicking on a link on LinkedIn. I’m assuming it’s via LinkedIn that the managed to get my info (phone etc.). All in all I’m not extremely surprised. But to me it’s downright creepy and it makes me feel like I’m being stalked. Also it makes recruiters look totally desperate and I’m not sure I would want to entrust them with the responsibility of handling my career4 -
Hanging up your girlfriends call when suddenly sn algo strikes ur head... thats when you are a certified coder3
-
My colleague can be so fucking annoying I’m close to snapping. It’s morning, I just got it, didn’t have any coffee yet and he asks me “what did you do while I was gone?” (He was away sick a few days). So I start explaining to him the code changes we did and he takes it as an opportunity to interrupt me and ask more questions during my explanation. Mostly because he thinks it’s amusing. I continue explaining not giving in to his shit and he continues interrupting me and tries to make other team members laugh at his stupid face. No one does. I finally tell him to shut up and listen and he does.
It’s like having a kid run around, focusing on every sound other than what is important and trying to be funny when all that’s happening is everyone thinking he’s and asshole that should shut the fuck up. ARGH!!! So annoying.6 -
Once in a while I feel like Big Head on Silicon Valley when he was at Hooli. Guess it is not the worst thing. Maybe they will promote me to the moonshot department.
Maybe some day I will get his type of buyout. -
Just delete the whole local repo and clone again!
(He definitely didn't know about git reset --hard head)3 -
Haven't ranted in a while so here it goes.
Head of product took me (senior dev) to a high value client workshop/demo session and over the course of two days found the reason behind why the dev team has been pushed to the limit as of late and sales/product team has been making promises to clients without checking with dev leaders on reasonable delivery dates on massive new features.
I tried my best to manage expectations by differing talking about delivery dates by saying "lets discuss that with the team" rather than giving out dates right now. But as soon as the meeting ends he sends an email to the client confirming delivery dates on features that we have done no research on or even specialize in!
Please tell me this is not how well established businesses work or is that the new reality of things. In either case I wanna find a new job :/2 -
Me: Ok, lets jump back into my linux install
*Turns on PC and instantly boots into windows*
Me: Hm, that's odd, maybe I accidentally changed my boot order
*Opens BIOS and sees Windows SSD is first followed by Empty SSD...*
Me: *Cries in the corner realising I have just accidentally removed the Linux SSD and put it back in to try and install MacOS*2 -
Guys. GUYS. There are so many freaking weird edge cases for regular expression evaluation. *head desk*8
-
Sports.
When I have low motivation I go running or riding my bike. The fresh air is great for the head. -
Trying to learn es6 JavaScript and Vue js, whilst also maintaining sites using jquery.
My head is about to explode... -
I always get this fucking want to cut off my head headache after giving every damn workshop at office. Fuck you head. Fuck you.1
-
Looking forward to getting my head around cssgrid, browser support looking good, soon be ready for primetime.2
-
Just read an article stating you shouldn't buy windows 10 home and should buy pro instead because of 'potential performance increase' due to some of its 'added performance technology'...
Do I need to say more?4 -
DevRant landscape mode for ipad? Turning my head sideways doesn't make this keyboard feel very smart :P2
-
populator.call( from
,null
,to
,obj
,srt
);
People writing this kind of code should consider put a bullet in their fucking head.11 -
Some people have interesting, cool or exciting lives and I know u are fascinated by them... U may even fall in love . but do remember that u r an insignificant troll who is good at doing one complicated job and whose significance cannot be comprehended, appreciated or understood by the said fascinating people. So go back to your cave do the shit u usually do coz u have a deadline to meet.
-the voice inside my head4 -
Best : .NET core 1.0 is publicly released
Worst : DI went over my head.
Will try to get it this year.4 -
Head of technical team thinks it's a best practice to include stringified JSONs in the HTTP GET request parameters...3
-
I HATE Ostream !!!
I was walking up to my car today to run an errand and as I approached my car, I had this thought in my head - "I am a cartard". I legit started to feel guilt while I was driving.
I hate that ostream made his place in my head without paying rent.8 -
Start developing one of the two games that I have been designing in my head for the last year or so.1
-
Experienced programmer:
Code works in head; code almost works in computer; code never works with client.
Beginner programmer:
Code almost works in head; code never works in computer; code will never work with client.
Long story short: it's hard to begin but when you let the code flow, you became a programmer -
I have to write my thesis but no sentences are coming out of my head, only a mesh of incoherent word.12
-
About to shave my head. This will be second time ever in my life. It's almost like having reincarnation XD4
-
"git checkout HEAD ." Instead of "git reset HEAD ." Smeg! Just shoot me. I'm going to bed and restarting in the morning like today never happened.5
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Head of legal: email me details of the customer information you hold/access
Me (in head): I'm a full stack developer! I access everything!! Should I tell the truth, or "the TRUTH"3 -
Head of IT: kindly check what the issue with the following transaction
Me: Is this on production or on staging?
Head of IT: YES
Me: 🖕🏾 🖕🏾1 -
During requirements gathering:
Listening.
Writing requirements as stated.
Not designing in my head.
Asking leading questions that validate said faux design. -
IntelliJ kinda merged one of its own branches into my master and I kinda realized it too late.
Any tips on how I can set the remote HEAD to my HEAD at the commit "fixing git"?
4 -
My personal top 4:
good tea,
good booze,
time with gf,
time with friends,
Just clears my head, but doing any of my other hobbies can really help because it just gets me in a different headspace -
!dev
Re-watching old episodes of mythbusters. S2E1, they test "better to walk or run in the rain"
Their method totally pissed me off.
They had cotton suits on their body and measured the weight difference before and after.
Except the cotton suits DIDN'T GO ON THEIR HEAD.
Where is most of the rain going to fall when walking slowly and the water source is directly above your head? Head and shoulders.
So of course their findings were that you got more wet when running, as some of the water got on their belly instead of their head.
Can't find anyone talking about it online so had to rant about it here. So fucking stupid
7 -
$ python
Python 3.6.1 (default, Feb 2018, 42:06:66)
[GCC 4.8.2] on linux
>>> print(None)
None
>>> print("The ideas in my head are always better")
The ideas in my head are always better -
Today my senior colleague asked me to write an inline style and make it !important and I started at him for 2 minutes before smashing the keyboard on his head and then I realised that it was just playing in my head so I stopped staring at him and went back to webstorm and wrote that !important inline.3
-
When the new head of the Computer Science program at our university comes to our help desk and needs help getting a Kali Linux box to connect to wifi... we have lost all hope (back story this guy is only head because he was the only one to take the job. he is a total tard... it's scary)2
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Sometimes when I’m drunk, I create functions in my head for things like default answers and stuff..3
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"Would you really call Facebook a social media platform?" - Head of IT at a prominent organization2
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When updating nuget packages takes longer than cloning, configuring and compiling the Linux kernel...
while(true)
bang(head, table);3 -
So we had a sprint review earlier. There were like 20 bosses who attended, head of this, head of that. We spent 5 mins to demo our application, and another 55 minutes discussing the "delivery date" 🤯2
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When considering ignorance and sucking up: is the entity relationship between head and ass a many to many?
-
I just got a new computer, and obviously it comes with windows installed. But I go too used to Linux and now windows just feels weird.6
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The moment when you don't understand the code, is the your head getting drilled with a screw in circular motion.
-
Sports. Without sports I would never get my head free from my dev thinking. But getting my head free is necessary to get new ideas and solve old problems.1
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!dev
Yep think I'm starting to get a bit kookie.... I'm starting to track whenever songs are playing in my head
8 -
Currently learning programming (c#) and I can't wrap my head around classes can anyone give me some tips?9
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This weekend i starting to learn symfony, after two days my head hurts so bad, I'm going to die...3
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jQuery is such a fucking pain in the ass sometimes, but it's just so great for alot of things that i don't want to leave it.1
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Because I'm leaving the company, they planned me on the project that caused me to burn out... thanks Head of Dev! You really deserve a metal for being even shittier than you already were!!5
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Completing an application as Head of my department. (Digital Media)
Question: 3 greatest weakness. What should I list down? :/2 -
Wrapping up at the end of the day, telling my colleague we can pick the rest of the task when we return on Monday..........only to find out we ARE Monday
Not sure where I hit my head today, but holy shit it sucks.
T-4 I guess -
This headhunter even took the time to bold out the hipster verbs like: blockchain, microservices, angular, react and vue keywords and hashtags ...
K thx bye
*BLOCKED* -
People that commit large binary files to subversion... sigh...
(Banging head on desk waiting for binaries to finish downloading)2 -
This is brilliant, overdub of the senators and Zuckerberg. “You have a bean head”
you must watch it!
https://youtu.be/_zCDvOsdL9Q1 -
Trying to get my head round LDAP for , what will eventually be, a government project.
Security up the wazoo is difficult1 -
I hate data structures. I try to work out their algorithms in my head but they're completely counterintuitive. lol.8
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On the newer side of web development. Using CSS Grid with some flexbox. Any idea on why my 768px media query styles are overwriting my 320px styles?
I was breaking into modules but moved everything to a single css file until I figure out what causes the issue. The mobile styles are at top and I started the medium breakpoint below the initial styles.
Designed it mobile first if that makes a difference. Should the media queries be nested?13 -
Tutorial for naming a city:
1. Open your text editor
2. Hit your keyboard with your head
3. Roll around with your head on your keyboard
4. ???
5. Congratulations, you just named a city
https://youtu.be/fHxO0UdpoxM2 -
Git's fucked, I guess I have to retype my website from memory. :/
```
git restore --source=HEAD :/
```
2 -
Why isn't all of Ace Combat 7 playable in VR mode? You can turn your head with R, so what would be the difference? They would lock the camera in cockpit view and turn it when you turned your head...2
-
Anyone ever look at the word "devRant" and pronounce it French in their head?
devRaahnnnnt
lol.. anyway.8 -
'ite all in your head it's all in your head'
I SAID I need to breathe !
Bahahahh
My own words came back to haunt me where I hid you found me lol2 -
copycat: how many of you ended up as IT professional because you trust the big swoosh and this guy said everywhere "JUST DO IT"
-
Recruiter writes to me on LinkedIn for a job
Have an interview with the recruiter, everything smooth
Then interview with the HR of the company, everything smooth
Then the HR talks to the CTO, and the CTO is like "mmmmh this guy works as a consultant, I don't like this. Yeet him".
This absolute madman out there not giving a single flying fuck about consultants, head hunter, HR, only pure coding, literally living the dream. -
when you working online
at a pub co-working space
and internet gets slow AF!!!
I'm gonna rip someones head off2 -
Me yesterday: "I have too much projects... maybe I should shelve some..."
My head this morning: "I have this splendid new idea for you to work on"2 -
Question. How would you go about learning a new language? Books? Tutorials? Head first into a project?6
-
When some knob head at work convinces himself and the team that 100 projects in one solution is a good idea.2
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3rd day back into work after xmas break and I still haven't had laser focus yet, and I have so many projects to do :-/
-
Yesterday 2 hours meeting about how to keep functional a Delphi6 software with a 2.5 firebird.
Today the HEAD of our WORLD tell us he is going to buy a new software and trash the Delphi6 one...
So why did you organized the meeting HEAD?3 -
Review about 45+ bootstrap admin templates, and haven’t found one that fit into what’s in my head.4
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I was asked about SEO going into long description that this is not just about keywords. Get ok I'm going to go eat now let's get this SEO thing going.
-
You see, the power of coffee is greater than the power of heat engines installed on your boss's head
2
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