Manager: This code you wrote violates the single responsibility principle!!

Dev: How so?

Manager: You have one function that you call in *MULTIPLE* places. That’s too much responsibility for one function! Functions should only have one responsibility!! Creeping the scope of a function beyond that is a TERRIBLE way to write code!

Dev: But why spin up multiple functions that all perform the same thing?

Manager: Well if a function has a bug in it and you use that function multiple places then that bug exists everywhere you use that function. If a function only has one responsibility then if it has a bug that bug will only exist in the single place it is called! You really should think first before asking questions like that.

Dev: …

This week I quit the corporate life in favour of a much smaller company (60 people in total) and i never felt so good.

After 3 years in 2 big corporations, I began to hate coding mainly because of:
- internal political games. It's like living inside House of Cards everyday.
- management and non-tech people choosing tech stacks. Angular 4 + Bootstrap 4 alpha version + AG-Grid + IE11. Ohhh yeah. Not.
- overtime (even if it was paid double). I never did a single minute of OT for fixing something that I caused. I spent days fixing things caused by others and implementing promises that other people made.
- meetings. I spend 50-60% of the time in pointless meetings (I tracked them in certain time intervals) but the workload is same like I was working 8 hours / day.
- working in encapsulated environments without access to internet or with limited access to internet (no GitHub, no StackOverflow etc.)
- continuously changing work scope. Everyday the management wants something new introduced in the current sprint/release and nobody accepts that they have to remove other things from the scope in order to proper implement everything.
- designers that think they are working for Apple and are arguing with things like "but it's just a button! why does it take 2 days to implement?"
- 20 apps installed additionally on my phone (Citrix Receiver, RSA Token, Mobile@Work Suite etc.) just to be able to read my email
- working with outdated IDEs and tools because they have to approve every new version of a software.
- making tickets for anything. Do you want a glass of water? Open a ticket and ask for it.
- KPIs. KPIs everywhere. You don't deserve anything because the KPIs were not accomplished.

The bad part of the above things is that they affect your day-to-day personality even if you don't see it. You become more like a rock with almost 0 feelings and interests.

This is my first written "rant". If anyone is interested, I will post different situations that will explain a lot of the above aspects.

I instinctively press Ctrl+S everywhere I write text, even in chat like Slack or Skype. Do I need help? :/

Real Story:

Manager: You have to add an extra section in the app to show more details.

Me: We are already showing so many unnecessary details. These changes are not required.

Manager: No !! You have to do it.

Me : Ok !!! So why can't we show it in the section where we are showing the other details. Why make a separate section for it.

Manager : No !! It won't be clearly visible to the user. Just do it.

So I added another section to show useless information that we are already showing it f**king everywhere else in the app.

So I released a new apk next day with the added features.

In meeting, our CTO goes through the app and ask manager....

" Why we have added an extra section for showing same details that we are showing everywhere else ???

Who approved this ?? This is nonsense !!! "

Here comes the fun part.

Manager : I don't know. I didn't ask for it. These changes were not there earlier.

And ask me.

"Who told you to make these changes ? "

I am like... F***k man you a***ole told me to do it even when i told you it will be nonsense.

"Hey, Root, someone screwed up and now all of our prod servers are running this useless query constantly. I know I already changed your priorities six times in the past three weeks, but: Go fix it! This is higher priority! We already took some guesses at how and supplied the necessary code changes in the ticket, so this shouldn't take you long. Remember, HIGH PRIORITY!"

1. I have no idea how to reproduce it.
2. They have no idea how to reproduce it.
3. The server log doesn't include queries.
4. The application log doesn't include queries.
5. The tooling intercepts and strips out some log entries the legendary devs considered useless. (Tangent: It also now requires a tool to read the logs because log entries are now long json blobs instead of plain text.)
6. The codebase uses different loggers like everywhere, uses a custom logger by default, and often overwrites that custom logger with the default logger some levels in. gg
7. The fixes shown in the ticket are pretty lame. (I've fixed these already, and added one they missed.)
8. I'm sick and tired and burned out and just can't bring myself to care. I'm only doing this so i don't get fired.
9. Why not have the person who screwed this up fix it? Did they quit? I mean, I wouldn't blame them.

Why must everything this company does be so infuriatingly complicated?

Anybody else here has a coworker who insists on having comments everywhere and writes code like this?

// Get foo
foo = getFoo();

// Check if foo is greater than bar
if (foo > bar)

Or is it just me?

So today I had a client come in and give me a free "broken" laptop that wouldnt turn on and was covered in grease and what appeared to be dog hair everywhere. So i go through my every day troubleshooting, found the problem and fixed it. Next i disassemble the entire laptop and just start air dusting and cleaning connections like crazy. Now I'm a proud owner of a really old school laptop that I can probably keep alive for another 10 years :) This will be a perfect machine to test arch linux on 😃

!rant

So this year I had a subject at university called "Linux internal architecture", and for the last assignment I had to write a kernel module and interact with it with a separate program written in C.

Once I had finished and tested the driver, I went on to write the other program, which was supposed to use system calls to read and write data to the module. While debugging this program (~500 lines of code) I reached the level of frustration where you just start printing absurd messages everywhere in your code to see what's wrong. So for example instead of printing "This error happened in this function", my error messages were more like "Fuck this fucking function it doesn't fucking work".

Guess who forgot to delete all those messages before sending the code to the teacher...

Also, if a specific mode is selected, the program enters a while(1) that, apart from doing what it's expected to do, also creates a file in the user's home directory called something like 'motherfucker' and appends the words 'fuck this shit' to it. INFINITELY.

I really really hope this teacher doesn't try to run the program in his own computer, or he's in for a big surprise.

That moment when something bad happens and ctrl+Z pops in to your head. Then realise ur not using a computer.

Google sucks!
No, not as e-mail or for privacy reasons. Sure, that too, but it comes with "free" stuff.

It sucks because it's breaking every possible record in the worst, shittiest, most insanely stupid APIs and integrations out there on the entire fucking planet!

It is comically stupid!

Aside from their LOVE of hard-deprecating APIs every few months, requiring constant, time consuming maintenance of every tool that integrates deeply with Google services, some of their APIs, for expensive stuff, look like they've been written by Bobby McFartface from 7th grade.

Take a look at DoubleClick Search (their ad performance reporting tool, that sure does sound like one). To upload custom, additional data, you must pass in a ton of parameter, and they REQUIRE some of them to have a specific, hardcoded value. What's the point in passing that parameter then you dickheads?!
But fine, so you uploaded some stuff using the API. Now you want to delete everything and try again after you fixed a bug - well you fucking CAN'T! You can't delete stuff, you can only mark them as "deleted" using an update call.
Bulk operations? Fuck no!
Can I just add on top? Well of course not! That will raise a ton of exceptions. Same message should be transmitted using the PUT, not POST request, in order to edit.
Can I send everything to PUT? Of course not! You can't edit something that's not there, dummy!

Can I see what's there so that I can update it, and add what's missing?
Well of course not! Why on Earth would you need to see what information is in there after you uploaded it? Who needs that anyway?

Simply send, pray, and hope that everything will be fine (it will not).

Like holy fucking crap, it can't get any more stupid!
Google is a huge pile of idiots who feed on only a single cow - the search engine.

It's times like these when I think that Google right now is the worst thing that exists for everyone in tech. It's dragging everyone down with their monopolies everywhere and complete idiocy in managing them.

Whats so nice about devrant is that you see more or less the same people from time to time everywhere.
In comments, notifications, rants, all that.

It's like a party full of nerds like you where it's actually fun to get to know people.:D

Seriously anyone who doesn't use english names for variables and shit, get the fuck out! I don't care how many dicks you sucked, don't fucking do it!

I'm working on redoing a somewhat big database with a small team and the fuckers who designed the new database decided to use danish names everywhere and misspell shit! What the fuck are you doing!

Who the fuck calls it a birthdate? and misspells the danish equivalent?

And what the fuck is this, using _id and ID like they are the fucking same thing!?!

For the love of all that is holy, stick to english, one naming convention and check your crap spelling!

AARGH!

My friend loves Dreamweaver... And continuously says that he doesn't understand what people see in it that is so wrong... It does the job right?...... Fucking blind...

Uses a bootstrap plugin which generates HTML code for bootstrap.
I did not know this at the time.

Comes to me the night before submission.
He: Dude i need help quick! I've got the presentation tomorrow morning and bootstrap fucked up the links to my style sheets or something, my page is broken and won't work. I should have done what you did and gone for Foundation...
Me: Yeah, because the bootstrap framework definitely affects the style links...
He: help me out man, please! I can't do this anymore!

I had my submission the day after him to prepare still...

Me: Teamviewer. Now.

Log on to Teamviewer.
See what he's using to code...
Dreamweaver..... Niiiiice....

I go through the code. There are empty divs with &nbsc; in them everywhere.. some HTML elements haven't been closed, no comments, indentation seems to be completely random. All the usual shit storm of a novice web designer.
The only thing is, this guy I know knows how to indent, I've seen his previous work. Why is this so horrible then???
I ask what the hell happened, it looked like a nuclear explosion happened!

He: Yeah I'm using this great plugin for Dreamweaver which lets me click and it puts in Bootstrap elements! It's great!

........ You're blaming the bootstrap framework for affecting your links to your stylesheets, you're using an elements generator, you're not checking what the FUCK it puts into your code, not fixing the indenting, not checking the standard HTML rules are followed AND YOU WONDER WHY IT'S BROKEN???

Kill me now.

Dev gets hold of me, says my service is down in QA. Works if he hits it locally, works via Postman, but via the QA app server it gives a 401.

I’m like, look, if it works everywhere else, there’s something wrong on your side in QA.

He insists, no, I must help him, and begins CCing all the managers telling them this system has been down for days.

So I eventually climb into his system, check the credentials they’re using in the QA environment, and sure enough, the password is wrong.

One step through the door my wife whips around, a look so disgusted she barely seems human. "What's that smell?" she cries. "It's you! You smell like...like bad code!"

Indeed, I am covered with the scent of the forbidden love child of a man who read half a chapter on if-then statements and then pushed out into the world, earthworm-like, a mangled misshapened gelatinous mass that my employer gave the title of line-of-business application purely out of pity.

For more days than I'd like to count I have been porting a ColdFusion 5 application to .NET. Initially written in 2000 and last touched in 2006, it has a data architecture comparable to Dresden after the second world war. It features a table solely comprised of seven columns of IDs so that joins can be made between other tables lacking a common key. Columns that should be contained within a single table spread out among multiple tables. Single columns containing data that should be multiple columns (with handy flags to separate the subsets). A view with 14 joins that playfully displays unintended results. And so much more spread out over almost 200 stored procedures, views, triggers, and tables on the SQL server, and dozens of additional ADO-like SQL statements within the ColdFusion itself. Fortunately, the application overcomes these issues by having absolutely no data validation while allowing nulls pretty much everywhere.

When I am done this will be a very nice ASP.NET MVC app with at least 150 less stored procs, views, and tables. Auto-generated duplicate entries will be a thing of the past. Pop-up windows that inexplicably refresh the underlying screen to display a different part of the program than the one the user wants will be eliminated. And a UI based on the colors of a Rubik's Cube with usability that Mr. Rubik would find challenging will disappear with only the trauma of using it left behind.

Sadly, this is not my worse legacy code experience. Just the most recent. Just the most recent stench added to a lifetime of bathing in code rot.

--- SUMMARY OF THE APPLE KEYNOTE ON THE 30TH OF OCTOBER 2018 ---

MacBook Air:
> Retina Display
> Touch ID
> 17% less volume
> 8GB RAM
> 128GB SSD
> T2 Chip (Core i5 with 1.6 GHz / 3.6 GHz in turbo mode)
Price starting at $1199

Mac Mini:
> T2 Chip
> up to 64GB RAM
> up to 2TB all-flash SSD
> better cooling than previous Mac Mini
> more ports than previous Mac Mini - even HDMI, so you can connect it to any monitor of your choice!
> stackable - yes, you can build a whole data center with them!
Price is 799$

Both MacBook Air and Mac Mini are made of 100% recyled aluminium!
Good job, Apple!

iPad Pro:
> home-button moved to trash
> very sexy edges (kinda like iPhone 4, but better)
> all-screen design - no more ugly borders on the top and bottom of the screen
> 15% thinner and 25% less volume than previous iPads
> liquid retina display (same as the new iPhone XR)
> Face ID - The most secure way to login to your iPad!
> A12X Bionic Chip - Insane performance!
> up to 1TB storage - Whoa!
> USB-C - Allow you to connect your iPad to anything! You can even charge your iPhone with your iPad! How cool is that?!
> new Apple Pencil that attaches to the iPad Pro and charges wirelessly
> new, redesigned physical keyboard
Price starting at 799$

Also, Apple introduced "Today at Apple" - Hundreds of sessions and workshops hosted at apple stores everywhere in the world, where you can learn about photography, coding, art and more! (Using Apple devices of course)

So DevRant asked me to put my skills on my profile, I'm like:

you wanna know my languages, well, I'm a human Android sipping on Java, got C++ grade phy-SQL education. but some idiot bashed me on my </head> so swift, that I objectively-c angular stars, everywhere. Recoved by a js injection. ASCII too in snowy Cs

About a week ago I bought a server rack case from some guy online for 40 bucks. When it arrived it was in the worst state I had ever seen a case. Even if I tried I wouldn't have abused a case like that. Rust... everywhere...

I stripped it down and removed all the rust I could. Then I painted it and this is the end result. Pretty cool if I say so myself :)

Starting to wish I never got involved in this industry.

I am working for the most ridiculous, god awful place I have ever had the misfortune of working and I am having a HELL of a time getting out of it because everything wants 5 years fucking exp in some fucking specific framework that is basically the same as every other fucking framework.

Our previous cto was a closeminded totalitarian bully and when she finally left she was replaced by a lecherous fucking dinosaur who has no idea how to code in our code base. He also has barely been showing up to work for the last few months.

For some reason our fucking ceo allows this all to continue and only interjects whenever he can make himself the biggest nuisance (ie design handoffs etc where he has little to no knowledge)

I was already woefully underpaid but was recently 'promoted' to team lead and when I brought up my ridiculous salary (yes I was essentially just funneled into this role) they gave me a neglible raise and ceo told the fucking dinosaur to tell me he 'doesn't like when people ask for raises'

The only reason I am in this position is because we have such ridiculously poor employee retention and I am one of the people after only 2.5 years there that has the ability to provide any kind of knowledge transfer. Most of our dev team consists of people fresh out of school and our code base is just an absolute mess of junior dev spaghetti debauchery.

I have expressed concerns over this and was told that I'm negative and go looking for problems and that 'everywhere is like this'

The ceo has a few people he keeps close because in his words 'they're the only ones who don't disagree with me'

He also refused to hire anyone with experience because they cost too much and he doesn't like people who have opinions.

To make matters worse all the fucking dinosaur does is wander around and talk to the junior devs about video games.

His previous favorite past time was staring at my tits, ranting about his wife and telling me 'he'd offer to give me a back rub but you can't do that now a days'

I caught his fucking wife creeping me on LinkedIn a few months ago for some fucking reason.

Oh and as icing on the cake I had a fucking interview today for an intermediate angular position and a few minutes after I received an email saying that ACCTUALLY they had been informed they were now looking for a senior react dev.

Like seriously what the fuck.

Working in company where part of team is located in Austria and these morons write evrything in fucking german, method names, comments and even the parameters which are sent to fronted. Like it isn't enough they even use special characters like ß,ü,ä and ö everywhere

Some motherfucker at the gym called me. “Hey @growling, I am here with that gym you signed up with 5 months ago and your card for membership renewal isn’t working.”

“It’s 8:00am”

“Yes sir. It’s 8am.”

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too early?”

“Did you get a new card?”

“Hey call me at lunch or something, I’m going back to sleep.”

“Okay, or you can call me. Goodbye”
Acting like you got better shit to do with your time.

Like he wanted to lecture me and say waking me up at 8am is fine. Like he wanted to say he came from a hardworking family and so he can say waking me up at 8am is fine. Shiiit dude my mom used to work with two broken hips for 7 days a week until I made six figures. Bless her heart, that’s why I got her a new car and money each month to pay all her bills. She’s been out of work for 2-3 years now. So lecture me. Only my mom can lecture me, boy. Cause she raised me to be an engineer.

Also, why do I see this everywhere as well? I get lectured for drinking beer on a Sunday or Monday during lunch at my frequent visits to liquor store.

“Don’t you have work?”
Yes, 9-5. But I’m an engineer. So it can be 10-6 or 11-7. Doesn’t matter. All of the stuff I do follows sprints and not direct interaction with customers!

I get tasks done and I teach interns to help me get tasks done. In time. And sometimes even more.

I know my schedule is so lax you want to criticize me. Maybe you think I don’t work? Or work as hard as you?

Tl;dr I intentionally act like a spoiled baby when it comes to work so that service/retail/manual labor people lecture me so I can tell them that we work differently than what they’re used to.

I have free snacks. Don’t get me started about gloating about free beef jerky. People hate me on online forums for doing that! Drink beer on tap in work kitchen. A glass of wine anytime I want. Sleep in until sometimes 11am. But that’s why I’m an engineer, buddy.

The education system is a fucking joke. How do you get through all the required courses and get to the capstone course where your one goal is to build a simple prototype of a project(like a simple website) for a real world client and not know HTML or CSS when you spent a whole fuckboy semester on a class dedicated to HTML, css, JavaScript and the teacher gave you the PHP. Not only that but you can't even figure out how to use a simple google search to look up the documentation on any of these topics or even the easy to follow tutorials littering the internet on how to use Bootstrap which is what we're fucking using to make it faster to develop the core logic of our app but all you fucking want to do is take shortcuts and create a PowerPoint presentation in google slides and make an easy project look like shit and make me and yourselves look like shit. But don't fucking worry, I'll code the whole thing in a fucking night because you didn't do your part of taking care of just the front end and planned for your incompetence and lack of questions or help. I know you're busy looking for a job for after you graduate but you can't even answer a simple programming question. Let me give you the solution on how to reverse a string, cuz you don't remember c# but it literally takes 30 seconds to google the solution that is everywhere. My project team is why no one takes a degree from this university seriously.

I'm really close to just quitting coding all together. This job is sucking the life out of me. I've lost my interest in code and the idea that there are better jobs out there.

My "boss" who's not even really my boss but behaves like he is, is micromanaging my every tag, and is an information hog. He doesn't document, he doesn't tell me anything, I've been here six months and still don't know half of what I need to know to do my job properly!

I'm expected to implement a new responsive design, but we don't have design specifications.
Cool, you'd think, new ideas, complete overhaul! Let's get a good foundation in bootstrap going!

WRONG! It needs to fit in with the old, fuck- ugly pre 2000 design.

Not because of any design constraints in particular, but because HE wants it that way. You know what was fucking trendy in 2000? Tables. Tables fucking everywhere. YOU KNOW WHAT TABLES ARE NOT? RESPONSIVE YOU FUCKING ICE LOLLY CHEWER!

We have no development timeline, no process management, no fucking project management. THE FUCKING PASSWORDS WERE STILL STORED IN PLAIN TEXT UNTIL LAST MONTH YOU IRRESPONSIBLE BANANA DEEPTHROATER! 😤😤😤😤😤😤

I'm doing my best here to get something resembling the old page, but there needs to be some fucking compromise! We are in fucking 2017, let's work with Bootstrap instead of against it, how about that you fucking bald cactus!

I know enough about UI to know that the way we're going, this is just going to be another unusable fucking clusterfuck.

YOU KNOW THE BEST FUCKING PART? I'M A FUCKING BACKEND DEV AND I WAS HIRED AS SUCH! GIVE ME A DESIGN TEMPLATE AND I'LL DO MY BEST TO IMPLEMENT IT, BUT FUCK YOU FOR EXPECTING FRONT END LEVEL DESIGN KNOWLEDGE YOU DUMB FUCKING SPAGHETTI!

I just experienced the opposite of rant.

I spent 1 entire day ranting about a algorithm I couldn't write with no issues, it occupied all my mind and got me pissed of.

And today, I rewrote it entirely, and it works perfectly everywhere.

I was like : "No it can't work here. Oh ok", "And here's the bug ! No ? Nice.", "Don't tell me it'll work here. I'm a God".

That's why I love being a dev :D
Thank you, you freaking problem I had !

Tech support: we need to install backup software on your laptops.
Devs: what for?
TS: to backup all your important files, like word docs, excels, etc.
Devs: we don't use those. everything is on git/confluence/etc
TS: my boss told me to install it everywhere, so I have to do it.
Devs: well just disable it. uses too much tam, disk time and such
TS: whatever.

So he installed it on each laptop separately, took half a day, then we just disabled it and proceeded with our tasks. Now we get a question every other week why nothing is being synced from our computers. "We paid for the system and we want you to use it".
yeah..

My tech stack progression:

Started with PHP without any frameworks, using a homegrown MVC architecture. Used to use `mysql_` functions everywhere. And only jquery + vanilla CSS in the front end.

Then moved to use PDO functions in PHP and Backbone.js + Less CSS in the front-end.

Then moved to Django in the back-end. Did not like Django very much as it is too opinionated and not flexible (although it's damn good for rapid development if you buy into their type of things).

Then moved to Flask + SQLAlchemy and using a home grown architecture. This is a sweet spot for me in terms of back end and stayed in this spot for the longest time.

Moved to Postgres from MySQL as I fell in love with Postgres.

Then learnt React+Redux. Liked it. Made most sense to front-end development this way. Moved front-end stack to React+Redux.

Learning Haskell and been working with Scotty and eyeing Servant for a while now.

Let's see where it goes from here.

PS: this is my personal journey through various tech stacks in various products at various companies I have worked. I'm not talking about moving a product through these many tech stacks. That doesn't make any sense.

So today, I managed to make one of my colleagues feel like an idiot. In this contract, I work mostly for ui integration, while he build the pages with angular before I add all the html structure and fancy css.

We are building the front-end/ui for an industrial device with a touch screen. For that last 2 days he was blocked on a bug that when you click the confirm button on a delete popup, it would somehow select an input in the page before it was deleted and would lock the ui when showing the virtual keyboard (the poor thing didn't know what to do and wouldn't close).

During those two days, he asked all the other devs for help, trying to find a pattern or anything that could help, while I was focused on writing my css and stuff since it was my priority and I was hired specifically for that (I was aware of the bug and gave my input but I never saw it being reproduced)

So today, he start his new routine of raging at his desk and he decides to show me on my device for some reason. I immediately notice a pattern. It would always select one of the two fields behind the popup, in the click area of the button (it's a big button). Then, I noticed that I could press a random spot on the screen, drag my finger on the button and let go and nothing would happen.

It's at this moment I knew I had found the bug. The button was set to emit an event on mousedown while the inputs behind it were set to emit an event on mouseup (like it should be everywhere). So the popup closed when you placed your finger on the screen and the input was selected immediately after when you removed your finger (which was usually faster than the page code which was not yet optimized)

After that, it was just an easy fix to change the listener and I had a free beer.

A few weeks ago I stepped onto the grounds of lovely Canada. Back then - coming from Europe - I was surprised. Free WiFi everywhere without all the bells and whistles of creating an account and such.

Well ... at least I thought so ...

Today I went to a location where they actually charge you for their wireless services - fair enough the coverage area is pretty huge - and provide you with an access coupon. All good my optimistic me told me but once the login page loaded...

There are a lot of things about UX I could rant about but let's put that aside. The coupon came from the office where they KNEW all your contact details but it required you to create an account with all of them again to redeem the coupon.

Not only that but it asked for things like the phone number - obviously asking for a Canadian landline number since hell who uses mobiles anyway with numbers longer than ten characters?! - and even though it had a nice country selection it kept the states field there even when selecting a country that doesn't have states ...
Oh, and on a regular phone screen (which would be the target user for WiFi on a campground I suppose) the input fields for state and zip were occluded by the margins of the input rendering the content invisible.

And if that weren't enough after creating your account they made you watch an ad as if the personal data and the 4$ you paid them wasn't enough for the lousy 400 KB/s you get for 24h ...

Gets better though! After creating the account they display your password to make sure you remembered it ... over a non-secured WiFi network ... and send you an email afterward ... password via unencrypted mail via an unencrypted WIRELESS connection ... not that it protects anything that would matter anyways you can just snoop the MAC of your neighbor and get in that way or for that sake get their password but oh well ...

Gosh, sometimes I just feel the urgent need to find the ones responsible and tell them to GTFO of the IT world ...

Is it just me feeling like this about crappy UI/UX design? Always wondering...

Had to go outside to check my balance, but it's thundering right now.. I know that there's street lights everywhere that are a far better conductor than I am. But 1MV at 100kA is most certainly a force to be reckoned with. I made it one way, let's see if I can make it back as a living human. But I feel like I'm teasing nature...

I'm scared.. 😰

FUCK PRINTERS

WERE ALL PRINTERS DESIGNED BY INCOMPETENT MONKEYS WHO HAVEN'T EVER TOUCHED AN ACTUAL PIECE OF PAPER IN THEIR LIVES?!

WERE THEY PAID SPECIFICALLY TO MAKE SURE THEY WOULD NEVER WORK WHEN YOU NEED THEM TO?!?

IT REALLY SHOULDN'T BE SUCH A FUCKING PAIN TO DO A GODDAMN SIMPLE THING LIKE PRINT A BLACK AND WHITE JPEG!

I'M NOT ASKING FOR MUCH, JUST A FUCKING EVEN HALFWAY FUNCTIONAL MACHINE THAT DOES AS ADVERTISED AND DOESN'T REQUIRE SACRIFICING A GOAT TO CONNECT TO

FUCK ALL PRINTERS EVERYWHERE

So
I wrote a song
About devRant
Don't judge me

To the tune of "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer"

dfox and trogus
Had a very good idea
They worked on it
And out popped devRant
Then one foggy Friday night
They published it
It was an instant hit
Devs everywhere rejoyced

Now the devs love them
As they type out their rants
dfox and trogus
You'll go down in dev history!
(Like Linus Torvalds!)

Finally got a new job, but it's already a horror story not even 2 hours in (making this while on break)

Everyone here is an Intern, IT? Interns, Designers? Interns, HR? Interns.

The Person who I should've worked with got fired yesterday, and now I have to work all of his shit up from 0, Documentation? Fragmental, a few things here and there, but nothing really.

IT security also doesn't exist in the slightest, there is an Excel sheet called "Master_Passwords" and every single password is in Plaintext, written out for everyone to see. (at least they used "strong" passwords)

And the place also looks run down, theres PC's, Laptops, Mics, Cables etc. lying literally everywhere no-one knows what works and what doesn't (since everyone is an intern)

Not to mention the "Server Room" is an absolute mess itself, cables hanging from literally anywhere, powerstrips are ontop of servers, each rack has like 2 or 3 2U Servers, (in a 40u Rack) and there are 10 of them!

I arrived at 8am sharp today, SHARP, I usually arrive 2-3min earlier, so I can start with my actual work at 8am sharp, but traffic was rough and my scooter wouldn't turn on, so I wasn't able to.
Suddenly my boss calls me into his office, being all like "you are late everyday, you won't start work until 5 after 8 yadayada". Wtf?? You know I have a clock on my desk and I always check the clock when I'm arriving at work? (He has security cameras everywhere, so he can actually see me check the clock every morning). This morning I arrived at 8am sharp and the only reason why I started with work late is because he thought it's necessary to remind me to be at work in time. Now he expects me to start with work 5min early everyday, fuck off!

First company I worked for, built around 40 websites with Drupal 7...in only a year (don't know if it's a lot for today's standards, but I was one guy doing everything). Of course I didn't have the time to keep updating everything and I continually insisted to the boss that we need more people if we are going to expand. Of course he kept telling me to keep working harder and that I "got this". Well, after a year a couple of websites got defaced, you know the usual stuff if you've been around for some time. Felt pretty bad at the time, it was a similar feeling to having your car stolen or something.

Anyways, fast forward about 2 years, started working on another company, and well...this one was on another level. They had a total of around 40 websites, with about 10 of them being Joomla 1.5 installations (Dear Lord have mercy on my soul(the security vulnerabilities from these websites only, were greater than Spiderman's responsibilities)) and the others where WordPress websites, all that ON A SINGLE VPS, I mean, come on... Websites being defaced on the daily, pharma-hacks everywhere, server exploding from malware queing about 90k of spam emails on the outbox, server downtime for maintenance happening almost weekly, hosting company mailing me on the daily about the next malware detection adventure etc. Other than that, the guy that I was replacing, was not giving a single fuck. He was like, "dude it's all good here, everything works just fine and all you have to do is keep the clients happy and shit". Sometimes, I hate myself for being too caring and responsible back then.

I'm still having nightmares of that place. Both that office and that VPS.

Yesterday, I finished the front-end of a project for a client. Responsive, clean,.. Looking 'smexy' :D

Today I've got an email of the client, saying he made some small design adjustments...

I think you already know where this is going.. But inline-css everywhere, fixed widths, br's as spacers,.. (It was like an old Frontpage-like design..)

I've changed the FTP user.. From now on, he has to request his changes so that I can apply them.. Damnit.. But hey, extra paid hours of work I guess :D

!dev

Just went to the pet asylum to look for a cat. There was a shy black one (eh, maybe not a good first but Moar Blacker, Moar Better 😋) and a black and white one which was very open towards me.

Probably I'll get the latter, and build some food, water and litter dispenser systems for it with motors and my esp8266 boards 🙂

The lady who was volunteering there and showed me around had an interesting story though.

Apparently both of those aforementioned cats were wild cats (so they don't come from a proper household or anything). Except that black and white one which apparently came from some rather retarded people.. think average Facebook user.

According to her those previous owners came there with 2 cats including the black and white one as "extremely wild, we found them in the forest, put them in cages (because everyone carries cat cages in their car every day, right?) and brought them here". Nice excuse for average Facebook user level of retard I have to say 😜 but it's not very waterproof, you know?

But on average the people that they get there are even worse than that.. some get a great initial meeting with a cat, but then leave them there because they don't like the stripes on a paw or something stupid like that. As she put it: "you're not fitting pants in a clothing shop, are you?! 😑"
Had to try hard to not burst out in laughter from that description 😂

Point is, the average customers there are awful.. apparently she was very grateful to have a rather down-to-earth customer like me and my home supervisor (who helpfully drove me there 🙂) for once. So terrible clients.. they're everywhere!

It really taught me to be mindful of the hardships of people in any profession who deal with clients.

For fuck sake, stop complaining about the lack of privacy everywhere.
I'm not saying that worrying about your privacy is bad, I also really want to be protected and I know the risks we run when put our information on the net, I care about my data, but please stop acting like whoever uses Google, Facebook or Windows is a fool and you're the only genius around.

Because guess, I use their services and when I use them I'm explicitly authorizing them to process my data, to track me and to create a profile about me. It's an exchange, I know what they're doing and I've control on the data I'm serving them.

If, for some reason, I want to be more protected then I fucking use some open source iper-safe alternative, and that's it.

Seriously, I'm happy if you use those fancy alternative services for everything (for your reasons, I don't care) and I'm glad if you decided to don't use any closed source service anymore, but please, stop screaming against who uses them

It is once again that time of year when we say farewell to our current interns and say hello to a brand new batch.

The two groups overlap for a few days. During this time the old interns show the new interns the ropes, while the mentors silently weep in the lunchroom having realized that nothing that they've said over the last 12 months has had any effect whatsoever.

Some choice quotes:
---
New Intern: It says 'uncaught exception'.
Old Intern: Oh don't worry that will fix itself on production.
---
OI: Did you pull the code?
NI: Yeah, but I have all these weird brackets everywhere... [merge conflict]
OI: Oh yeah that happens sometimes, just delete them.
---
NI: It says "push to master rejected". [we enforce code reviews]
OI: Ohh that means the server is broken. You should tell someone, they have to reboot it.
---
NI: Where did that file save to? [we use ONLY macOS and Linux]
OI: C:\Users\<your name>\My Documents\...
---
OI: You can use either pgAdmin or MySQL Workbench. I like Workbench better but I couldn't get it to work, it kept giving me errors.
---
And of course...
---
OI: No, we don't use Linux. We use CentOS.
---

I did the math today. Only 35 more years and I can retire.

I love it when a fellow "dev" asks about some interesting security topic (full disk encryption) and I'm like "yeah I use LUKS pretty much everywhere".. and then takes an entire arm when given a hand.

Performance in LUKS? Yeah sure you can benchmark it within cryptsetup. Here's how to do it and choose a good cipher for your CPU.

D: Oh also how do I check my battery life?
M (thinking): you lazy fucking piece of shit.
M: FUCKING GOOGLE IT
D: Obviously that means that you don't know it.
M (thinking): so not only lazy but also disgustingly ungrateful, fucking twat.
M: acpi. Next time fucking Google it.
D: You know what? Never mind.

As if I'm the one that's fucking wrong now!! But you know what, never mind indeed. Because you've successfully wasted my fucking time instead of fucking googling "check battery life Linux" like a sensible dev would.

Fellow "dev", if you're on devRant I hope you read this. You can seriously go fuck yourself.

I signed up to devRant with the same handle I use everywhere (firstName+lastName).toLowerCase() and now I feel like I can't really rant here, cause you never know who might read it...

My worst experience was at my job where they told me I have to move to a permanent position from 3 years of contracting without a specific offer.
Why is that bad? In my country it means approximatly 40% lower wage.
I came into the job with PHP knowledge when they were looking for Perl on a project one year behind schedule. I learned the language and finished working demo in 6 weeks.
After that, every project that was ever assigned to me was done within 5-15% of the allocated time. I'm not kidding here. My manager loved be, because I was reliable, fast and I even 'accidentaly' solved other problems, like for instance I developed simple syslog search tool and benchmarked zip algos for reading speed, and the fastest had 70% better compression than the algo used before (gzip into plzip on 1-2gb files). That solved anothet problem - syslog servers did not have enough disk space and they didn't have money to upgrade the server.
The number of projects I touched or developed was over 20.
I also lead and developed our team's most successful tool, that every customer was throwing money to buy, while cutting down costs everywhere.
And after three years of that, my manager says that there are no more money for contractors. And the only possibility is going for employment. Without any specific offer! Just 'we cant do this anymore'.
Which I understand, that can happen in corporation, but ffs after all I've done, I expected warmer attitude. Not like 'you may have to leave, since we do not really care'.
I liked the people there, even though the corporation environment was lacking in many respects, but I wanted to help our local branch with everything I could and they gave up on me like that.
So I started looking elsewhere and I found a startup which offered 6 times the money I had in my previous job and promises to relocate me to USA. Which is the best thing that has happened to me that year and second best in my whole life!

Last week our department drama queen was showing off Visual Studio’s ability to create a visual code map.
He focused on one “ball of mud”, vilifying the number of references, naming, etc and bragging he’s been cleaning up the code. Typical “Oooohhh…this code is such a mess…good thing I’m fixing it all..” nonsense. Drama queen forgot I wrote that ‘ball of mud’

Me: “So, what exactly are you changing?”
DK: “Everything. It’s a mess”
Me: “OK, are any of the references changing? What exactly is the improvement?”
DK: “There are methods that accept Lists. They should take IEnumerables.”
Me: “How is that an improvement?”
<in a somewhat condescending tone>
DK: “Uh…testability. Took me almost two weeks to make all the changes. It was a lot of work, but now the code is at least readable now.”
Me: “Did you write any tests?”
DK: “Um…no…I have no idea what uses these projects.”
Me: “Yes you do, you showed me map.”
DK: “Yes, but I don’t know how they are being used. All the map shows are the dependencies.”
Me: “Do you know where the changes are being deployed?”
DK: “I suppose the support team knows. Not really our problem.”
Me: “You’re kinda right. It’s not anyone’s problem.”
DK: “Wha…huh…what do you mean?”
Me: “That code has been depreciated ever since the business process changed over 4 years ago.”
DK: “Nooo…are you sure? The references were everywhere.”
Me: “Not according to your map. Looks like just one solution. It can be deleted, let me do that real quick”
<I delete the solution+code from source control>
Me: “Man, sorry you wasted all that time.”

I could tell he was kinda’ pissed and I wasn’t really sorry. :)

!dev

Feck I hate public transports. Rude people everywhere.

When the train arrives, everybody is pushing themselves at the door, not letting people stepping outside properly, then they lay their filthy shoes on the seats, contributing to the cancerness of the place, they cackle like hens, so I have to put super high volume on my headset, bringing some dark looks from other peasants because I listen to metal, but fuck them, and when finally you arrive, with nearly all the people standing up since 15 minutes ago because they want to go off first, some fucker in front of you steps down, with his luggage, and STOPS right there to open his handle so you're sure to bump in his ass, he turns to you expecting YOU to apologize when the fucker took the whole place for himself, I give him a mean look with my metal chaos pissing from my ears, and venture off to bump in a girl who was standing in the FUCKING way again checking out where she had to go. ARGH.

CEO at work has a Mac elitist as a friend who somehow indoctrinated err I mean convinced him to get apple everywhere, now the most common issue is updating Microsoft products on the Mac.....

Mac elitist guys first name is Steve lol no lie, he also services the Macs which he expects to do so when no one is around, oh and did I mention he wants us to leave our passwords on our desks LOL, he doesn't work for the company and I really really don't trust him, glad I have a git repo, and I hope he doesn't delete anything on my PC (very reluctant to leave my password on my desk, so I may just convince everyone that my Mac is fine, which seems like it's doing it's thing)

So I had to buy a laptop

I had a Lenovo G50-70 (2014) it was really good, mid-range i5, 6GB of RAM and to speed it up I've installed an SSD. 3 years (and some formatting) later it started being slow, I couldn't even play Minecraft anymore (and the battery was dying)

This year we're learning and using PCs for the first (real) time, so I needed a good laptop.

I started searching everywhere, Google, shops, Amazon... (Excluding HP and Acers for good reasons 😂) so I've found this Asus, which isn't really famous, but the model is UX510UX.
FHD display, Nvidia 950M, i7-7500U, really good battery, 8GB of RAM, 1TB of hard disk

I bought an additional 128GB M.2 SSD from WD (I'm sorry but I can't live with a HDD 😂)

All of this for ~700€
I'm very happy for the purchase, the laptop is all metal (pinky bronze, but I like it)

It's really powerful, I can play GTA with mid-high details without any lag. (Remember, I play GTA on the desktop with a 1080 Ti so my standards are high)

I'm happy 😄!

Yknow, I want to make an android app that I have in my mind for about half a year now and I already tried twice, both with Kotlin and with Java but everytime I try it's just pain and suffering and frustration...

No it's not because of the language, I like Java and I like Kotlin too and I'd say I'm at least decent at Kotlin and really good in Java...

No no.. the issue is the fucking Android SDK and the mix-and-match documentation available online!!!

Every fucking time I want to implement some sort of UI element, user action or a background service and I start googling how to do it It comes with with at least 3 different stack overflow solutions, all of them saying "that way of doing it is deprecated, instead you should X" and looking up the OFFICIAL FUCKING DOCS it will just make me roll up in the corner and cry because of how fucking inconsistent it is and the retarded domain language it uses... fucking transactions for fucking fragments inside fucking activities... because I guess the word "screen"/"view"/"template" or something similar natural just was too mainstream for the all knowing alphabet soup that google is...

And then you start looking up what the fucking difference even is and how to code it up only to find out there's at least 12 other opinions on how fragments should be used and what should be an activity and what should be a damn fragment...

But that's not all, that's just the base... I get a headache even thinking about how the fucking inflating of templates and the entire R. notation works. You want to open a fucking tiny corner menu with the settings options? WELL THEN YOU FUCKING BETTER REMEMBER TO IMPLEMENT IT THROUGH SOME SORT OF EVENT AND INFLATE THE MENU YOURSELF EVEN THOUGH ITS THE SAME FUCKING THING WITH STATIC STRINGS...

AND WHY THE FUCK DO I NEED LIKE 4 NEW FILES TO IMPLEMENT A FUCKING LISTVIEW...
also talking about ListViews... what was wrong with "ListView"... Why do we need a "RecyclerView"... oh right... because the fucks fucked the fuck up and all the legacy components were designed by a monkey and are next to useless! SO WE NEEDED A NEW NAME FOR THE FIXED VERSION, CANT NAME IT LISTVIEW AGAIN... FUCK YOU...

honestly... if I got a dolar for every "what the fuck android" I said during trying to understand that mess I'd be richer by a few hundred...

oh oh oh, but you know what? You don't like the android SDK? that's fine, you can use fucking React or Flutter or something... yeah.. because instead of torturing myself with the android SDK I want to torture myself with an abstraction of the same SDK and JavaScript as the fucking cherry on top... HAVE YOU FUCKING SEEN THE CODE FLUTTER SHOWS ON THEIR WEBSITE AS THE "Introduction" ?!!!

Look at this piece of shit:

[code in attached image, we could really use a proper Markdown support at least for rants]

THAT'S NOT EVEN THE ENTIRE THING, THAT'S JUST THE *REALLY* UGLY PART...

The fucking nesting... What is it with JS and all the fucking nesting everytime?! It looks like shit.... It reads like shit as well...

WHY, in the name OF FUCK, IS THERE MORE THAN 5 ANDROID FRAMEWORKS and ALL of them... used this FUCKING NOVEL idea of programming using A FUCKING BRACKET WALL

It always looks like:
(code(code[code{code(code{code()})}]));

If I wanted to make a fucking app or a website using fucking Haskell I'd do that.... at this point reading assembly code feels like heaven compared to this retardation... Why is this so popular?! WHAT DO YOU PEOPLE SEE IN IT?! Clearly it's not the aesthetics... it looks like a fucking frog vomit running down an emus leg, fuck that.... I don't even hate classic JavaScript, it's a good enough language and it does what I tell it to... but these ugly fucking frameworks like react, angular and whatever else uses this fucking format can go fuck right off. This is not the way JS is gonna get a better name for itself...

So:
Fuck Google

Fuck the marionette that designed the Android SDK

Fuck the Hellspawn the came up with the "functional-like" way of using JavaScript

Fuck everyone that thinks "JavaScript everywhere" is a good thing

And deeply future-fuck everyone that makes a new framework following any of these standards, stucks a .js at the end of the name and releases his hairball.js of an invention into the fucking world....

It's a mess... fuck everything android related...

New country, new company, new team, new projects.
I'm supposed to be the TL of a team working on a React project.

A guy in his late 40s celebrates himself as "the senior", he basically just finished watching a youtube thing, React 101 crash course or similar. The other two juniors who did only Wordpress so far venerate him like a god.

The code, of course, is one on the finest pieces of crap I ever had the pleasure to deal with in my life: naturally a bunch of JQuery plugins for everything, no tests, no state management, side effects everywhere, shared state and globals like hell, everything written in ES3/ES5 style, no types, no docs, build and deploy totally manual, deep props drilling at every level... and not to mention the console.log() shipped in prod.

First day, already headache.
Full rewrite start tomorrow.
Hiring real devs as well.

Ok, so teacher (which should be something like a professional dev or whatever) assigned us a homework for a Christmas (I dont care, I can complete his assignments in like 10 minutes max). We have to do some simple shit in C++, just some loops and input + output. Nothing hard. He challenged me to write it as short as possible, so I did. My classmates have codes around 60 to 70 lines long (after propper formating). I made it 20 lines long using some pointer magic and stuff like that. I tried my code, it ran fucking perfectly, so I sent that to him. He replied that the code does not work. I tried to recompile it and it ran perfectly. Again, it does not work. Afeter 13 fucking emails he fucking finally sent me the error message. Some fucntion was not found (missing some library but literally everywhere else it works without it...). Thats strange, because it run perfectly on my Fedora with CLion, so I switch to Windows and try to run same code in Visual Studio (which we are using in school btw). Works perfectly. So I start arguing with the teacher more and more. I tried around 10 online compilers. Works fuckng everywhere. Teacher is pissed, me too. So I rewrote my whole code, added comments and shit, reinvented wheel literally everywhere. Now I have C99 standardised code over 370 lines long that run even on a fucking arduino after changing input output methods so it can work with it. It (suprisingly runs) on his PC too.

After a bit more arguing, he said that he is using CodeBlocks from fucking 2015. Wow. Just fucking wow. Even our school has some old Visual Studio (2007 I guess) and it worked there.

"You're a programmer?!"
"So, I have this app idea and I think it will be revolutionary!! I HAVE GREAT ideas for what it will look like - light blue here and white everywhere else. it's like facebook but different ..."
"It's really going to express my creativity as a person. I've poured my heart and soul into this idea. ITS GREAT RIGHT?!?!"

I hate wish! It's so annoying! Oh, my freaking God. I went as far as to download the app to complain about it. I see it everywhere! Whenever I'm watching a clip on YouTube, a movie , playing a game, and obviously on T. V. I can't take this anymore! I downloaded this app, but it just comes off as confusing, I don't know, maybe because it's my first time here; I don't like the fonts and sizes they chose but anyways...wish, Oh, my God! I just wish for it to go away and leave me alone. 😑😡

Spent an hour and a half renaming a method everywhere in a project from `feature_name` to `feature_name!`. There are a lot of constants, symbols, and other methods that use "feature_name" as a prefix (plus comments and spec descriptions), so was a little more difficult than normal.

Should have taken like 5 minutes with a proper IDE refactor tool. but noo, it was too difficult for RubyMine. wah wah wah. Stupid thing. Not even the search tool was useful -- it's limited to 100 results, and there were around 250 for that substring.

I ended up having to run specs repeatedly to find all the remaining instances, which took freaking forever. blahhh

Computer related shit follows me everywhere, I swear. Went to a friends house and low and behold - this gem. I knew someone smelt like what I imagined a domain smelling like...

Some days I feel like a genius, solving problems left and right, automating simple tasks, and improving workflows everywhere.

Other days I can't remember how to loop over an array and spend 5 minutes googling that just cause my brain isn't functioning lol

I was once requested to update a website and the requirements were that it "must be flash based...and use our company's color scheme."

I saw the current site and critiqued the color before knowing that the color was the company's signature and had to be there. The colors were a pukish yellow like someone pissed all over the site and that color was everywhere. I said that site looked like something from 1998 and flash was not the way to go.

They wouldn't hear any of that. No need to mention I didn't take that job.

Microsoft, you can't sneak this past me! I notice you're putting rounded corners in specific parts of your OS, and I don't like it. It's inconsistent with your design and your slow roll-out of the rounding makes things round in some areas (such as the context menu in the calculator app) and square in other areas! (such as the context menu anywhere else)

All I'm saying is either do it everywhere, or do it nowhere.

(I realize the terminal is not an official application YET, but it's a good example)

I left my previous company because my tech leadership was insensitive and agressive.

However, I am in a start-up right now and CTO is a nut job.

He creates random Slack threads and keeps messaging me like crazy. The co-founders have shut him down multiple times and yet his only success metric is "number of deliveries".

The other day something broke in production and teams were discussing about resolving the bug in one of the Slack channels.

CTO literally wrote this and I wish I was making this up, "let us not look at the logs and trust our code to work fine."

I was baffled and confused. I realised me leaving my previous organisation because of such tech leadership was a stupid decision.

Crows are black everywhere.

Follow-up.

After getting fired last week, I went to the company today to take my papers, then the security guard asked for my government ID and refused to let me go the 5th floor to HR office, apparently because they had a meeting, then they had me waiting 20 minutes in the ground floor at the reception and when I asked if I could go to the bathroom he came in to the elevator with me and waited for me to get out to escort me back, I was so fucking furious by this point I just had it and told him who gave you the orders to take my gov ID and escort me everywhere like I'm a fucking maniac or a thief? Are you afraid of me breaking chairs or destroying offices or you think I'm gonna kill someone?

He then told me sorry sir but it's the orders, then I went to HR office and complained and called for the manager and she just came out with a bunch of BS, uhh I'm so sorry sometimes security can be a bit rude and what not.

SO YOU FUCKING MORONS THIS IS THE LAST TIME I'LL EVER BE COMING TO THIS FUCKING COMPANY AND YOU CAN'T EVEN GIVE ONE GOOD IMPRESSION FOR 30 MINUTES? HOLY SHIT!!!

Never in my life have I seen such incompetence, I just kept getting shocked to the last minute.

Had a longer talk with a friend today.

Acquaintances of theirs were at a restaurant (!) a few days ago, complaining about how much they paid for breakfast buffet. Their rant went on how the restaurant didn't even include coffee in the breakfast buffet.

I know this restaurant. I really like it there. They roast their own coffee in the back. They have a transparent bakery with spelt flour, from certified organic farming. They support the regional farmers, even the meat for the cold cuts etc comes from a local butcher, livestock is from regional free range farming.

If you wanna know what's wrong with customers, that's the prime example.

Not only didn't they bother at all to look at the menu... They ignored at all what they paid for. Just stuffed themselves without any thought at all.

Then they wondered why the price was so high.

Of course, high price = bad, so they rant everywhere what a bad restaurant they visited.

It just made me so fucking angry, cause that's the same shit I have to deal every day with. Not giving a damn, not reading any information at all - but spouting nonsense and foul mouthing everything is okay.

Fuck those kinds of humans.

The JavaScript everywhere trend.

Sure it's possible and the language develops at a fast pace since ES6 but JS like any other language just is not suited for everything. I think JS will stay in server side automation and as scripting language for customisation but not how it is abused now in electron or even node.js.

There will be better solutions if they are not already there.

Windows should not exist.

Imagine what the world would look like if everyone were only using *nix like Os's everywhere.
How much technology could be more refined and advanced.

So I've taken over a project, well, not really taken over, we've been hired to add more functionality to a Wordpress site.

I have never seen such a messy code in my life... variables have mixed languages, indentation is a mix of tabs, 2, 3 and 4 spaces, camelcase, snake case, short names, long names. ' and ", no spaces after commas (gotta save those bytes doode)
Almost like it has been copypasted from everywhere.

I think I said 10-15 hours for it. I think I will spend a lot more time tidying up this code.

Hey, look, 3 index files!!
index.php
index__backup.php
index__backup_2.php

I don't dare to look into the CSS or JS, but I know I have to

Everywhere you go, you find these memes where developers are skeptical of their work. Things like "It works. I don't know how. It doesn't work. I don't know how.". Don't you guys think this is a huge problem? And people say that their programming language is the best, because preference. But isn't this happening because our tools suck?

Yes the problems maybe inherently complex but at least we should be able to figure out the logic behind the snipper and reason about it.

Haven't really experienced it, but they say Haskell and the likes are great at this and it must be true because it's backed by mathematical properties and laws, not " experience".

So the rant here is, wish we had better tools in the mainstream that allowed us to enjoy absolute faith in at least what we have written, regardless of the fact that we understood the problem in the domain.

I've got a rant-type question:

Why would you EVER use Google Chrome?

There are a million browsers in the world, you could've used Firefox, Opera, Vivaldi, Brave, Bad Wolf, Qute, st, Epiphany etc, but you chose to uss Google Chrome.

What would be the reason you would ever choose Google Chrome over any of the million browsers, out of which many of them get the job done much better than Chrome? Okay, I get it why you might use IE or Edge, cause you might be too lazy to install any other browser or you just want the performance benefits you get with Edge which totally, most definatelly, a very big plus point for Edge.

*"Chrome has a balanced-bloat out of all browsers"*
But how tf does that matter? That doesn't even help performance wise anyways.

I can't get over the fact that I have to see/hear about 'Chrome hogging RAM' EVERYWHERE. Like, why do you even care about the god damn browser? Why is it a standard over the million other browsers that exist? Why can't the general public be educated that browsers have choices (just like phones) and you don't have to spit crap over people who don't use Chrome.

It just drives me crazy of how many people hate Chrome, and still it's a 'default' browser.

I would quote Vivaldi (the company/browser):
'A browser should adapt to you, not the other way around.'

(Disclaimer: Rant of a former Firefox, qute, st, Opera, OperaGX, Edge, and ofcourse, Chrome user. Currently in deep love with Vivaldi.)

I'm done ranting. Have a nice day!

(My first post here, if I did something wrong, let me know! I'll make sure I don't do it again!)

Things said at work that would be misunderstood when taken out of context:

Yesterday-
client: "I don't like the D"
Boss: "well what if it's a little d"
Client: "I don't think the size of the D matters, do you think people make decisions on the size of a D"
Me: *trying so hard to laugh I spit coffee everywhere*

Today-
Boss: "are you working on that sex padding?"
Me: *trying so hard to laugh I spit coffee everywhere*

I have a friend that every 2 days posts stories of her being in a club or something similar, dressed up and make up everywhere, with lots of drinks and shit like that. Girl has 0 skills and is living on the money that her dead parent left her. Honestly, shit looks fucking exhausting.

I hate clubs and being out with people. I do love drinking and having a good time... but every 2 days for it to be something? man I already feel tired and it ain't even my life.

Nearly amputated my middle finger by smashing it with heavy armoured door. Blood popped and splashed everywhere, as if I smashed a well fed mosquito mid-july. The nail is broken across the bottom. Finger is swolen to twice the size.

Looks like I'm gonna have a fun start on the new project next week...Unable to code 😁

!dev, !rant
Flew to Berlin for the weekend. Kinda disappointed xD
Trash everywhere, water costs more then my kidney, ugly communist blocks and buildings everywhere(I mean, yeah, sure: GDR, but like what, did nobody build anything since then? lol), almost nothing to eat .-. (I don't think we encountered even a single "german food" place walking around Berlin)

On the flip side, roads are awesome, no construction everywhere that blocks half the roads, no cracks everywhere and the asphalt doesn't make you vibrate when you ride over it. People were nice and polite, I didn't get the overwhelming urge in stores/stalls to just place everything back on the shelves and fuck off just from talking to a cashier/clerk/worker. Food, drinks, and services were cheap as fuck(Except for water, which I'm still coping seething and malding over, I thought the "Beer cheaper than water" was a joke, or an idiom, not fucking reality).

Also got to see @Ranchonyx IRL <3
So that was the highlight of the vacation.

I must admit I actually like PHP7. Especially 7.1 with strict typing everywhere :)

My head is melting. Does anyone have a colleague who constantly complains about missing specs, documentation, project organization, bad processes and procedures? Everything needs to be planned. Not a single small code change can be done without reviewed details. 10min job becomes a week-long session of whining and dabbling.

You give the guy a small task and at the end of the day nothing is done. Just page after page of written documents and lists in Word and online notebooks. Version numbers, meaningless measurement results, latencies etc. And all you asked was "could you just fucking fix this one thing and quickly compile and check it". But no. There must be a review and at least 10 people need to be called into conference. Someone needs to approve everything just so that he can later move to blame to others. "Yeah I know it's not working but I showed you the code and you reviewed it!". Yes, you did, but other people have work of their own so sometimes you need to tie your own shoelaces.

And sometimes finally there's some work done. All indentations are shit. There’re code changes everywhere just because the guy didn't like the previous smaller, compact and logical code. The code doesn't even compile properly anymore. And if you complain, the reason is "there's no proper reviewed and stamped process description, so I cannot know if a variable is supposed to be 10 characters long. Besides 200 character long variable names are much more descriptive". For fucks sake.

Some coders should've gone to work in some tax office basement.

Seriously? Microsoft does not support ed25519 SSH keys in neither Azure DevOps nor the actual Azure Virtual Machines? Like seriously? No there has to be a joke. There just ain't no way
It has been in OpenSSH since 2013.
2013.
We're in 2023, if you've forgotten.
10 years ago, OpenSSH implemented this standard.

Did you know what they tell you when you enter your valid Ed25519 SSH key into their system?
Did you know they tell you that "Your SSH key is invalid"?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN INVALID???!?! IT WORKS EVERYWHERE ELSE JUST FINE!!! YOU'RE THE ONE THAT HAS NO FUCKING BRAINS!!!

Composure.

I am calm, I am calm.

I have always. Been. CALM!

There is no one more calm than me....

I guess RSA it is then.
A second SSH key, just for Microsoft.

This is the last part of the series
(3 of 3) Credentials everywhere; like literally.

I worked for a company that made an authentication system. In a way it was ahead of it's time as it was an attempt at single sign on before we had industry standards but it was not something that had not been done before.

This security system targeted 3rd party websites. Here is where it went wrong. There was a "save" implementation where users where redirected to the authentication system and back.

However for fear of being to hard to implement they made a second method that simply required the third party site to put up a login form on their site and push the input on to the endpoint of the authentication system. This method was provided with sample code and the only solution that was ever pushed.

So users where trained to leave their credentials wherever they saw the products logo; awesome candidates for phishing. Most of the sites didn't have TLS/SSL. And the system stored the password as pain text right next to the email and birth date making the incompetence complete.

The reason for plain text password was so people could recover there password. Like just call the company convincingly frustrated and you can get them to send you the password.

I JUST HAD ONE OF THOSE DAYS THAT MAKES ONE WANT TO BANG TWO BRICKS ON HEAD SND END THE PAIN THE STORY STARTS YESTETDAY WITH ISSUES AFTER A MIGRSTION AND THEY ASK ME TO HELP TROUBLESHOOT EVEN THOUGH I'M A DEV DBA AND THE ISSUE IS IN QA/SAT AND I HELP ANYWAY AND THEY CAN'T FIND A VIEW AND SO I LOOK EVERYWHERE AND CAN'T DOING IT EITHER AND IT DIDN'T EXIST IN PROD OR DEV SO I TELL THEM IT'S NOT THERE, AND THEY ARE LIKE, CAN YOU RETRIEVE IT FOR US AND I'M LIKE FROM WHERE? I DON'T KEEP VIEWS IN MY BUTT AND YOU GUYS ARE SMOKING CRACK AND THE GIVE ME THEIR QUERY WHICH CONTAIN THE VIEE ANYWAY AND THEY SAY CAN YOU RUN IT AND IT RUNS AND WORKS AND THEY CAN'T MAKE IT WORK AND IT WORKS BECAUSE IT DOESN'T CALL THE VIEW THEY HAVE ME SO NO PROBLEM THERE SO I FINALLY ASK THEM ARE YOU POINTING TO THE CORRECT DATABASE AND THEY'RE LIKE OH MAN WE TOLD YOU THE WRONG DATABASE AND SO I LOOK AT THE RIGHT DATABASE AND FIND THAT THE GRANTS ARE MISSING AND YEAH THANK YOU FOR TAKING EIGHT HOURS OF MY LIFE BECAUSE WE WERE IN THE WRONG DB YOU GAVE ME AND I HOPE THE FLAG OF A THOUSAND CAMELS INVEST YOUR ARMPITS AND THE CHIGGERS OF A THOUSAND SOUTHERN LAWNS INGEST YOUR SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR. YAAAAAA!!!!

So I was writing docs for my project the hard way. Manually. Every time I added something new, I had to find the right place for it to be alphabetically in the reference. And god forbid I want to have the same information in two pages: I would need to copy/ paste and pray that I not forget to update the information EVERYWHERE.

I didn't feel like installing and learning some new markdown generating bullshit so I just made my own system. It's very simple and intuitive and I love it.

I made sure it can cover two use case: reading partial documents from the disk, and rendering in-memory objects to markdown too (like rendering a collection of tuples into a table)

I didn't care much for templating, so there's no templating capability.

!dev

You know what? I've had it with this fucking hopped up country, I've been out the army less than a year and, full disclosure, I knew it was bad but what in the skullfuckery is wrong with the U.K?

Absolute retards everywhere, with some of THE MOST piggish, soul destroying and suicide mongering leaders I have ever met (that's a helluva achievement after 5 years in the army).

The amount of illegal immigrants that don't have a word of English or single thing to give this country, other than paediphilia, rape, knives, debt, and idiocy.

Yet the government is anally raping every single British citizen to give every single immigrant better living conditions than 90% of people who are here legally.

The woke-ism that permeates EVERYTHING is beyond a joke now too. When the hell did basic life become so convoluted, "offensive" and "scary" that primary schools have drag queens coming in to read, sex ed classes that teach shit like sex changes, transitioning, bending to everyone's will, and to be punished for asking questions?

It feels like there's a crushing weight on my chest 24/7 and I can't even speak about it because now free speech can get you demonized , ostracized, and even locked up!

It's okay though, you won't be locked up with any rapists, paedophiles, thieves, or SA's because they're all back on the streets to make space for anyone who dares have a voice.

Every time I talk to people now I feel violent and full of rage. Some of the time it's not even their fault, I'm just being chipped away at. CONSTANTLY.

I'm genuinely scared I'm going to lose my shit and break someone's neck, or my own.

DISCLAIMER: I know other countries have issues waaaay outweighing the UK's, and I'm not minifying them.

ANOTHER DISCLAIMER: as is the way, someone is most likely going to be offended by this post. Scroll the fuck on if that's the case. I'm human too and I need to vent. And this feels like the last safe space I can.

I am so sick and tired of hearing “AI” everywhere all the time. Yeah how about we integrate some AI into your super smart toaster so that it knows when to start preparing for when you put toasts in it in the morning.

Not even mentioning all these idiots being like “oh yeah AI is becoming sentient. Oh yeah AI is gonna take over the world”.

Brother the current state of AI is just machine learning, it’s a stupid pattern detector and generator it doesn’t have thoughts, emotions. Please just stop it.

So the incompetence of this knob-head are unbelievable, so in our company there's a particular method that required to return object specific way like
{
'a' : 'b',
{
'c' : 'd',
'e' : 0,
}
};
}

which somehow will be use everywhere in the project, I decided to create a constant class therefore anyone can use it and prevent redundant code. (re write the same thing over and over again). He decided to tell me to rewrite the same method for every-time I needed to return data.

My method is to avoid writing the same thing in repetition , that is why I place a method in a constant class where I call every-time I need to return those data in the specific way.

But he prefer writing it in repetition. OMG

This is just a bunch of things I needed to get out that I’ve been holding in for a while now.

Recently I’ve found myself In this state where I feel so depressed, lazy, and just pressured to program in general. I feel like it comes from me dismissing my abilities a lot of the time and I get demotivated to do stuff but at the same time when I do sit down and code I get distracted so easily, I can get work done but I just feel like I’m everywhere.

I want to apply for positions but I’m in this duality where I both feel like I can or can’t do it, I feel like wherever I apply to will not be accepting to people that don’t have a big degree or a ton of work experience and that I’ll get fucked on it. I’m fucking anxious that if I do get a job they will be like “hey fucking do X” and I will have no fucking clue how to even do X, and I’ve had people tell me that they know for a fact I can do it but I still fucking can’t believe it because I just completely doubt myself because I have failed at things like learning certain frameworks or failing to make the things I want and having to turn to simpler projects first because I’m too overwhelmed by the scale and I didn’t do any thinking about it before hand.

I don’t know if I’m making sense at all, I always write out rants like this and I always just erase them because I fucking hate whining like this but I need to let it out before I go more crazy I’ve been holding so much in for a long time now and it’s not been good.

I just over all feel terrible, anxious, and unproductive and I want it to stop.

catch (Exception e)
{
Debug.Print(e.Message);
}

Like... everywhere...

I feel like the rise of ML was orchestrated by a bunch of angry nerds who decided to answer the question "Where will we use Calculus in real life?" with "EVERYWHERE."

I'm on this fair and there are suits walking almost everywhere!

Even in the "Tech" area.

Like 'a-bit-to-confident' ducks with their heads up in the cloud exposing their throat while walking right into my sharp blade. Inexorable stumbling headless right over the edge of the next bridge, hitting the rails with their rubies. Helpless, waiting to get caught by the next hype-train.

*sigh*

So now we can have bird everywhere on our avatars, there should be some mask option for bird head, just like in Team Fortress 2

Story Time.

I was hanging around at a friend's place when she informed me that her roommate is throwing a really lavish party 50kms away from the city. I got invited by said roommate and I agreed to go.

When we arrived at the venue, there were like 100+ people at this place, all smoking weed drinking and dancing in loud music. I was also stoned at that point.

So at one point, my friend abandoned me and I found myself talking to 10 complete strangers. I realized that I was on my own and thought about seeing how much rizz I got.

Mind you that everyone was drunk and there was loud music everywhere so there was no way anyone else knew that I was getting shot down lol.

After couple rejections, I straight up went to a girl and said "You want to smoke weed and make out in the bathroom?" And to my surprise, she said yes. So, we both already high and drunk slipped into the bathroom and made out for like 10 mins and I smoked all my weed with her.

Then, at some other point, my friend showed up and we went home. The one thing I missed, was asking for her number, which I kicked myself later for. I guess stoners don't realize they have phones.

So this i quite a big project, hundreds of files everywhere, pages are rendered using multiple files.

This is one of the latest created page, it was made by my boss, and it just give me the creeps.

I REALLY don't know how he always comes up with shit like these.

I just hate having more than 5 closing tags in sequence...

Who the fuck decided it would be a good idea to have the FAQ entries show up part by part sliding into existance as you scroll?
I just wanted to scan over it to find the link to the webapp that wasn't provided elsewhere (everywhere just infos about features - c'mon!)
don't load that shit like its 2003!

Looking back on 2022 from a developer's perspective, even without talking politics, war, climate, health, and injustice, despite CSS updates and AI progress, it feels like two steps forward, one step back. I used to curse ReactJS and Webpack, but we can have breaking changes everywhere else, like PHP 8 vs. WordPress. Oh yeah, and why do customers still love WordPress so much that we have to mess with this unstable abomination with its half-baked Gutenberg block editor and (full) site editing? And what about "social" media? Well, never mind, after Usenet and Myspace, why did people favour Facebook and Twitter in the first place? Thanks to devRant, there is at least one site where I rant about obscure tech topics from my subjective point of view, using swear words and exaggeration, without getting downvotes. Maybe I am even allowed to say "Mastodon" here? Thanks and merry Chanukka, Jul, X-Mas, Y-Mas, and Z-Mas and a happy new year everybody!

I always used / preferred Nano over Vi(m) for its simplicity.

But fuck, just because of the simplicity for Vi to be able to find a string and replace it by another via ':%s/string1/string2', I'm feeling like installing Vi everywhere from now on...

I am not a shy person, but I still like to keep to myself, I am just not that into socialization.

Everywhere I've worked I've only made friends with those that sat very close to me, like in the neighboring cubicles or whatever, even if I didn't have any project in common with them, but my relationship with those that were working on the same project as me was strictly professional.

Recently, my employer installed a rec-room with table tennis, foosball and pool table etc. And ever since then the whole office's morale has sky rocketed, especially mine. Now, I almost always spend at least 2-3 hours down there daily playing those games and I have gotten to know and have made friends with a lot of my co-workers, something that I wouldn't have done ordinarily ever.

Now my point here is that, I've always found socialization to be a bit out of my comfort zone, I always thought it to be a bit bothersome, but it would seem that all I really needed was the right environment, it is very hard to get to know others around you in a strictly professional environment, so having dedicated places in your office for things like group activities that can help relieve stress and allow people to get to know each other better outside the work environment can be extremely helpful.

PHP...
When I first learned to code - like everyone - I felt the need to try as many programming languages as possible. After the comforting syntax of myClass.MyProperty/myClass.MyFunction()/C#, the $ symbols everywhere made me want to vomit...
Fast forward 2 years later. I learned a bit and wanted to make a website backend. Checked my hosting - which was purely a frontend thing at the time - free PHP hosting or £15/month for ASP .NET hosting...
I begrudingly wrote my first .php file, hating my life.
But by the end of that night my relationship with PHP was already cemented.
And that's why I like PHP.

jQuery. jQuery everywhere.

People's dependency on this library would be like everybody carrying a tool chest with them, even for basic jobs like re-arranging a stack of books or collecting leaves in the yard. Cmon y'all, JS does a lot of this out of the box without the bloated library.

But then again, I'm addicted to MOMENTJS, so I should probably shut up now. 😆😄😬

all of them. countless wasted hours.

as fate decided to turn me from $random-dev-geek into "the guy that calls the shots in tech", one of my earliest decisions was to automate formatting.

everywhere, automated at CI.

gofmt was an inspiration for the industry.
js?/ts? use prettier
C++? use ClangFormat
etc.

always default settings.
enforced by pre-commit hooks and CI.

never a single argument about bracket style, I don't care if someone likes single or double quotes better.

"fucks given" counter is fixed at 0.
everybody prefers it (ok, sometimes after a while sometimes)

of course there is still some more conventions to do for us humans.
IMHO the most critical ones.

like naming or even casing (camel, snake, kebab, - which one works where), but taking out most of the "so what" decisions takes discussions to a much more resonable level.

fuck javascript
node.js module system sucks. Like its module system is trash, who will want to download some fucking 1GB worth of packages to create a new project.
People keep on just creating other package managers. Yarn is good enough because it caches your packages but still, i am just from deleting some 2.2Gb node modules from my computer and just whyy ?
An area where internet connection us shitty and expensive it is just not very well.
Fuck javascript is everywhere so i have to use it,

typescript just adds another layer to the heavy lifting. You write some typed code to 'reduce bugs' but you generate much more heavy code. I could write in 1kb js file but i end up getting some 3kb js because what - i used typescript-ügvjpiahdjb

fuck javascript

I must use windows at work and after 5 years of using mac I can say that windows is fucking loud, fucking beeps everywhere. Like you fucking do anything that has no results it’s beep - that’s fucking crazy I feel like I’m on some fucking road with assholes all over the place beeping on me.

I can work in silence on my mac, no software beeps by default.

Fucking Hell how can you listen to beep all day ?

I setup stable diffusion today. Still figuring it out but I'm like an artist now right? Right?

Next step is figuring out how to train models.

Then I have to make some samples of various words in spectrogram form for training.

After that we'll see if stable diffusion can reconstruct phonemes.

I'll train using both my voice and a couple others, and apply them as styles.

And then finally, I can accomplish my lifes goal.

To have the voice of morgan freeman with me at all times, everywhere I go.

MacBook/OSX

Have used all kinds of OSes and computers. Nothing sucked the productivity out of me as much a company provided MacBook. Some issues were related to the company setup (vpn issues after sleep, jamf botched app installs). But most of the day to day work was just due to crappy key handling. Lots of shortcuts that work everywhere don't (think all the alt combos in terminal). Common things require combos and using the actual keys (like home and end) on an external keyboard have undefined behaviour. Out of the box it does not even have decent window management, this means that a third party tool has to provide the shortcuts and they clash with a few programs.

Thank god I can use Linux now to develop for Linux.

These commercials for the Earnin app are cancer.

"I know you don't get paid until tomorrow why are you buying [stupid shit]?"
-- what kinda psycho knows when their friends get paid?

"I'm using the Earnin app to get paid today so I can buy my dog some food."
--If your budgeting skills are so shitty that you have to rely on an app to pay you before you check, then perhaps an animal is something you don't need to have with your current financial situation.

Like Jesus Christ the situations are all illogical and make 0 sense, yet they're fucking EVERYWHERE.

Recently at my work everyone got all hyped about blockchain. I've spent years studying it and especially crypto so I like to think I know a lot about it. Now every time some feature is discussed (like tracking video views) someone non tech shouts out "Oh we can use a blockchain!" And I have to spend half an hour convincing them why it's a bad idea in this particular case. Like we don't need to share that data, we don't need to ensure integrity without trust etc. I mean a blockchain is a great piece of tech but please stop trying to apply it everywhere...

It's like people think that the blockchain features at its most simplified level don't work anywhere else. E.g. as if stuff you put into MySQL suddenly changes because data integrity is not a 'feature' in that sense...

Great, I'm in the zone.
Typing like there's no tommorow.
The logic is flawless, design patterns and exception throwing everywhere
It's going to be gre.... DUN.

OH GOD A BSOD.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME.
Breath slowly... Just restart the machine...
PLEASE WAIT WHILE WINDOWS INSTALLS THE UPDATES

(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

Elasticsearch, from the bottom of my heart...

How can one ecosystem be so batshit crazy inconsistent?

Seemingly every agent does the same (e.g. filebeat vs journalbeat vs packetbeat)… yet there are subtle changes in configuration everywhere.

Plus YML. The most shitty markup language one can use and the cockslubbing durps used it fucking everywhere.

Makes fun to have complex stuff and requiring a python Jinja to JSON to YML converter to be able to write the complex stuff without having the fucking migraine to count like a stupid 4 year old whitespace with both hands...

To make it even more absurd: the ingest pipelines which contain a lot of regular expressions / grok and are thus very prone to quoting issues... Yes. Let's do this in YML too.

If you need to add an fucking manual section how to debug YML errors you should have realized what a fucking stupid idea it was, morons.

Now I have the joy of having a python script regex quoting the shit for a Jinja template which then generates JSON which then generates YML.

Why the JSON part?

Yeah... Because ECS and changes in the upstream YML files / GitHub.

To be able to run diffs in a sane way because in YML distinguishing thing is pretty much impossible, so JSON as an intermediary format solely for the purpose of converting upstream YML to JSON to diff it against modified JSON ingest pipelines downstream.

I fucking hate elasticsearch

I explained last week in great detail to a new team member of a dev team (yeah hire or fire part 2) why it is an extremely bad idea to do proactive error handling somewhere down in the stack...

Example
Controller -> Business/Application Logic -> Infrastructure Layer

(shortened)

Now in the infrastructure layer we have a cache that caches an http rest call to another service.

One should not implement retry or some other proactive error handling down in the cache / infra stack, instead propagate the error to the upper layer(s) like application / business logic.
Let them decide what's the course of action, so ...
1) no error is swallowed
2) no unintended side effects like latency spikes / hickups due to retries or similar techniques happens
3) one can actually understand what the services do - behaviour should either be configured explicitly or passed down as a programmed choice from the upper layer... Not randomly implemented in some services.

The explanation was long and I thought ... Well let's call the recruit like the Gremlin he is... Gizmo got the message.

Today Gizmo presented a new solution.

The solution was to log and swallow all exceptions and just return null everywhere.

Yay... Gizmo. You won the Oscar for bad choices TM.

Thx for not asking whether that brain fart made any sense and wasting 5 days with implementing the worst of it all.

A little background of me. I’m a firm believer of knowledge is power, skill is practice and hard work. Especially for this field, it’s easier to self learn the skills or language these days without having to take loans or burn a huge hole in ur wallet and stuff. But i personally feel, it’s hard to follow an effective path of learning when the info is everywhere. So have to be careful with that. (that’s why I’m here to learn from experts, lurking around)

Sure, degree is just a paper or validation that this person has completed this and that. But doesn’t reflect their actual skill. Especially for this field where u can just show ur skills by making projects. If ur potential boss is impressed by ur skills, u are hired. BUT if ure in Singapore, they require u to have degree by law. No matter how skilled u are, u only get specific amount of salary within a preset range. The range goes by Diploma, Degree, Master, PhD. Etc. U will still get hired by a company if they like u, but won’t get more than a preset range.

I was contented with just my Diploma. But decided to get degree cuz I wanted to earn more. And now considering to go for ms, just cuz my current company gives sponsorship.

Aside from salary, I do think getting a degree in University is one of the important phases of the life, where ure working hard, trying to juggle different things. Also, u do get other perks being a uni students, like discount for books, get access to latest devices if the uni has.

But all in all, whatever floats ur boat, right.

Can anyone recommend a nice set of DnD dice for a gift? It's for my boyfriend's younger sister. She's just getting into it and we're all playing on her birthday.

There's cheap sets everywhere and I'd like to get her something of nice quality.

A user calls me an hour after I'm supposed to have logged off.
"Hey, ahh, like, something is not good with, like, some thing"
Oh, snap! What happened?
"There is, like, this report, and it's, like, not right?"
Oh, the report is showing wrong data? Let me try to get a fresh version and...
"No, like,the data is right, but, like, there is many reports and , like, should be only one?"
Oh, you mean the report consolidation feature? It should only happen if the reports are fully compatible, and since it's automatic if the reports are not already grouped it means that they cannot be grouped. Probably due to this shopping season, we've seen a high uptick in demand.
"But, like, it should be, like, one! If not I will have to type in each report, like, by hand! I usually talk to this guy XYZ and he, like, does something that I, like, have no idea what it is. Can you call him up?"
(The dude the user mentioned logged off hours ago, and is in a different timezone. It's now about 11PM for him.)
It might not be possible. The system should add observations to each report it cannot consolidate. What do those say?
(the user takes two seconds to respond. I don't think they checked anything)
"It doesn't say anything. Can you cal XYZ, please?"
...

Shit, why do people wait until the last few hours of the last day of the month to do something that should have been done days ago and then demand that everybody everywhere just adjust to their late-ass schedule?
And then to demand I wake up a hardworking dev because someone is to lazy to use the system as it was custom designed for them? Because it had no problems but just wasn't making all things easy?

That's why users have to pay - they don't pay us to code, they pay us to put up with their bullshit.

Why is every innovation trying to go towards "replacing programmers"? like, what have we done to you?

GitHub CoPilot will replace programmers!
AI will replace programmers!
This/That tech will replace programmers!

Nobody says,

"Programmers work remote so we don't need to hire managers anymore!"

"Programmers wrote a monitoring script for progress tracking, so no need for managers anymore!"

"We are asking people to install sprinklers everywhere so we don't need firefighters!"

"We can just have one teacher record the subject material once and re-use the same video every year, so now we don't need to hire teachers anymore!"

"We are making everything legal so we don't need to hire policemen!".

Why is everything trying to replace programmers?

I would love to develop true A.I, though one which doesn't want to kill.

Sort of like the machine in Person of interest, something which can be everywhere and acts as a guardian for all.

But ultimately looks after me.

Long time ago i ranted here, but i have to write this off my chest.

I'm , as some of you know, a "DevOps" guy, but mainly system infrastructure. I'm responsible for deploying a shitload of applications in regular intervals (2 weeks) manually through the pipeline. No CI/CD yet for the vast majority of applications (only 2 applications actually have CI/CD directly into production)

Today, was such a deployment day. We must ensure things like dns and load balancer configurations and tomcat setups and many many things that have to be "standard". And that last word (standard) is where it goes horribly wrong

Every webapp "should" have a decent health , info and status page according to an agreed format.. NOPE, some dev's just do their thing. When bringing the issue up to said dev the (surprisingly standard) answer is "it's always been like that, i'm not going to change". This is a problem for YEARS and nobody, especially "managers" don't take action whatsoever. This makes verification really troublesome.

But that is not the worst part, no no no.

the worst is THIS:

"git push -a origin master"

Oh yes, this is EVERYWHERE, up to the point that, when i said "enough" and protected the master branch of hieradata (puppet CfgMgmt, is a ENC) people lots their shits... Proper gitflow however is apparently something otherworldly.

After reading this back myself there is in fact a LOT more to tell but i already had enough. I'm gonna close down this rant and see what next week comes in.

There is a positive thing though. After next week, the new quarter starts, and i have the authority to change certain aspects... And then, heads WILL roll on the floor.

' "productivity" software':
trying to format a document in Word / Libre Office,
text defaults to some condensed serif font,
any at-sign, "http" or "www" automatically generates a hyperlink in an ink-blue color,
formatting and alignment of lines or paragraphs causes unrelated other elements to change unless you make sure to use tables, tables, and nested tables everywhere like it's Netscape 2003

VB CreateObject..
Why?!
Cuz it creates an ActiveX object..
So?!
I am using it to manipulate excel files..
Ooohhh...

Yeah, old code, finally getting around to replacing it, probably with something cross platform too.

But in the meantime, I still have to fix remaining bugs or add small features.. Lately just the latter. I manage to do so, even though it takes a lot more time that I'd like to admit as I'm not coding with VB on daily or even monthly basis...so the goddamn ; are everywhere, fucking with me like I killed the pope..
And the code is horendous.. I'm not even sure if it can be done more elegantly, with lesser lines etc.. but to me it feels like I am powertaping a stick to a robot and hoping it will autoconnect and start functioning as a third arm joined with using electric screwdriver to disassemble a watch..

German mobile carriers are the worst in the whole world: if you are not in a big city like Munich, Berlin etc the internet is literally not working (E everywhere c'mon)

And I didn't even mention the public wifi (login sucess rate: 1℅)

I still remember when I was 8 years old and used to use "position:absolute"everywhere and use top and z-index to hardcodedly place my elements in my old web projects. I used a lot of <br> and padding + margin were not familiar words to me.

Somehow these projects were responsive, too. Strange times.

Nowadays I avoid "position:absolute", z-index and <br>s like the plague lol

Ugh, I know I sound like an u grateful little brat, but summer holidays just aren't for me.
I hate wasting my time on the beach.
I hate the feeling of skin burn.
I fucking despise people that don't give a flying fuck about other's comfort and blast Disco Polo on their own JBL speakers. Even though there's music provided by the hotel.
Also babies, babies everywhere, crying and dashing around. My head hurts when I think about flying back. And I LIKE airplanes. But not when every baby and their mothers are crying on the top of their lungs.
Winter is so much better. Skiing is great and I don't have to worry all the time about getting skin cancer.

1st week of doing proj: "hello there sexy, u are gonna one beautiful project. ill be doing all my best to finish you and you may actually one of my best projects."

after a month: "aaaaa ERRORS EVerywhere, tf is wrong with u. imma start another project if u dont start running properly like i planned"

after another month: *procrastinates while debugging* "yaass it works now, lets finish u baby"

takes some time to finish projects but if theyre really good, i usually finish them, especially when i am motivated and full of determination.

Hey guys! lambda is amazing! Docker containers! They said the whole amazing point with containers is that they run the same everywhere! Except not really, because lambda 'containers' are an abomination of *nix standards with arbitrary rules that really don't make sense! That's ok though, you can push your shit to fargate, then it will work more like those docker containers you know and love and can run locally! Oh wait! fargate is a pain in the ass x 2 just to setup! You want to expose your REST api running on a container to the world? well ha, you'd better be ready to spend literally 2 weeks to configure every fucking piece of technology that every existed just to do that!!!! it's great, AWS, i love it, i'm so fucking big brained smart!!!

give me a break.... back in my day you'd set up an nginx instance, put your REST / websocket / graphQL service whatever behind it, and call it a day!!!!!!!

even with tools like pulumi or terraform this is a pain in the ass and a half, i mean what are we really doing here folks

way too complicated, the whole AWS infrastructure is setup for companies who need such a level of granularity because they have 1 billion users daily... too bad there are like 5 companies on the planet who need this level of complexity!!!!!!!

oh, and if your ego is bashed because of this post, maybe reread it and realize you're the 🤡

i'm unhappy because i was lied to. docker containers are docker containers, until they aren't. *nix standards are *nix standards, until they aren't

bed time.

Here I am for three months trying to implement TypeScript in this project that was a dump when I picked it up.
And then some morons get assigned to the project and just start adding @ts-nocheck everywhere?
Like, WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

And then you wonder why the project is bug-ridden??
FUCK THESE PEOPLE THAT CALL THEMSELVES JAVASCRIPT ENGINEERS!! NO WONDER JS GETS SUCH BAD PRESS WITH ALL THESE CLUELESS IDIOTS TO WHOM STATIC TYPING IS JUST AN OBSTACLE TO THEM CHURNING OUT LINE AFTER LINE OF "CODE"

I lost my bike key in office yesterday and searched hell out of everywhere like in office, in my bag, in others bags (never know who can prank you), even we were searching in everyone's drawer but we were unable to find it so we went out an checked if I dropped it near canteen or anywhere out in office area using mobile flashlight at night for like 2 hours. So we just lost hopes and went to home by bus.

So today we went to shop and bought the new lock assembly and while we were heading back to office our QA called me laughing and telling "we found it, it was stuck in your chair and it fell out while the cleaning guy was cleaning it.!"

Luckily the shopkeeper took lock assembly back as it is laughing and gave us full refund.

5000 scss file with the name global.scss styling.

How fucking dumb can you be to fucking mess up a clean component based architecture like Foundation or Bootstrap and fill it with shit in a single file.

No wonder WP gets shit. The legacy code is usually shit.

And to put the shit cherry on top. This motherfucker had a settings.scss file with all general components and he never used it.

Fucker put different font size in px everywhere! Fucking asshole!!!

It is really not so repulsive to see the poor asking for money as to see the rich asking for more money. And advertisement is the rich asking for more money. A man would be annoyed if he found himself in a mob of millionaires, all holding out their silk hats for a penny; or all shouting with one voice, “Give me money.” Yet advertisement does really assault the eye very much as such a shout would assault the ear. “Budge’s Boots are the Best” simply means “Give me money”; “Use Seraphic Soap” simply means “Give me money.” It is a complete mistake to suppose that common people make our towns commonplace, with unsightly things like advertisements. Most of those whose wares are thus placarded everywhere are very wealthy gentlemen with coronets and country seats, men who are probably very particular about the artistic adornment of their own homes. They disfigure their towns in order to decorate their houses.

— G.K. Chesterton, The New Jerusalem

Here's the changes I propose to the world:
– Every grave should display the formal death cause. Like "asphyxia", "cardiac arrest", etc, not like "was shot dead".
– Every member of a firing squad that performs an execution should have real ammo. There should be no moral escape such as "at least I could be the one with fake ammo so I'm not guilty". Yes you are.
– The word "disk" is deprecated and replaced with "disc" everywhere.

Everything else in this world is fine.

Legit my only answer to fixing shit code for a nursing app at work is.....

Writing more shit code. Man the dude that developed this before had 0 clue what he was doing.....and because shit grew out of control there is shitcode everywhere.

I like writing shit code though. It is good practice.

Writing shit code without knowing is one thing. You really do reach expert level when you write shit code WHILE being fully aware of it.

well now that I put my wallet through the wash and these "very important" vaccine passport cards were in there that disintegrated (also by the way the email with the digital vaccine cards they sent me doesn't have a PDF attachment but has a link to a PDF file -- that is now 404! whatcha trying to hide, fuckers?). evidently fake vaccine passport creation is the only sort of fraud the Quebec government cares about, since there was a news story recently how the council for discovering fraud is just 95% faking vaccine cards fraud (kicker I've never heard of this council, seems they've only been active in the post covid era), nevermind that that shit fucked me up and I've had dementia at 30 for 3 years now, with my body having self heating / metabolism issues, pink blood or clots showing up everywhere issues, a fucking purple toe (actually I would just randomly turn purple on and off, and once yellow! I'm sure my liver is fine), numbness in my left side, hands, feet, mania / feeling like you're dying... but anyway it's all in your head and fuck off stop calling 911

I decided I would take a photo of the papers (since they're so important and came at such a cost!) and evidently now my camera app crashes anytime I try to take a photo. rebooted. somehow my photo viewer app updated with a reboot but the camera app is still busted.

I think this is a sign I should root my phone

but I'm already doing 4 things right now. on top of being reminded of my fucking medical trauma making this post RN I guess

fuk

Worst day of my life.

Got a job at an awesome company in another country but joining is in November.

Bunch of us got screwed over by the current company because of "downsizing" (out of the blue, they wanna start over with 4-5 devs like 2 years back) and they don't want to keep front-end developer as anybody can do it... (yeah I remember how the site was before I came... using ! important everywhere is not the solution).

Started looking for jobs (because I need to pay rent) so that I can spend 3 months there and then quit. Facing moral dilemma, as I don't want to do that to the company who hires me now.

Back on dev rant, been a while. Been two Jobs later...
Was extremely underpaid at the previous job.
Started a new venture two weeks ago. Long story short this company outsources their developers to other companies. The job I applied for is 'Junior Developer'. JUNIOR DEVELOPER!!!
Yet I'm being outsourced as an 'Intermediate Developer'.
Honestly I like the challenge, but businesses need to treat their employee's properly and not manipulate their young developers so they can get more money for cheap.
Really now, I've been dealing with this everywhere I go and it pisses me off.
On top of that I have no Senior Developer. I am the only developer. The other six, including my boss, are DBA's and don't know C#

>Discovers a new low level profiling tool that could help us at work with stuck process debugging and gets all hyped
>Installs on test machine, tool doesn't work
>Wonders why. Oh. Needs a kernel module to work, compiled and loaded
>"Well, its my test machine... Guess that's no problem..." but... my hype died down a bit. Kernel module installation just for a new tool that aggregates all other commonly used tools? eh... Maybe it will blow me out of my shoes still

>Installs and loads the module
>Tool works. Turns out its just a htop-like tool, with shortcuts to launch specific other profiling tools like strace/ltrace/lsof/netstat/ss etc...
"Oh... That's boring. Maybe it has all those tools built in at least?"
>Tries to run ltrace - tool exits as ltrace is not installed

Lol
>Installs ltrace and launches tool again. Tries to ltrace a process and
>Nothing. Nothing happens. For seconds... Then kicks me off of SSH
WTF?
>Tries to ping machine... silence
Did... our net go down again? (Having issues due to a storm going over our area these few days)
>Pings google and... gets instant reply
More wtf
>Pings the hypervisor the machine was running on
Works like normal

Oh... Oh no. Please tell me it didn't!
>Logs into the hypervisor UI, checks machine state
Running OK
>Opens machine console aaaaand... Yep. Stacktrace as well as a lot of kernel mumbo-jumbo... It took the machine down to kernel panic.

I never went so quick from "We need this tool deployed everywhere" to "Omg I need to get rid of this crap as soon as possible" lol.

And just for those wondering, it was sysdig.

CORRECT ME IF I'M WRONG.

Didn't server industry and technology get a little.. stale?

I mean, just look at similar industries
For example - mobile phones, they are everywhere now and each year we get new technology, the new big thing and whatnot.

Other example - gaming, VR came up moderately recently to a usable state, we got a great influx of flexible languages like C#, Java etc.
New engines to build games on top of, new graphical apis like Vulkan and whatnot.

..and Servers? It feels like the last big thing (and makes me feel like the only one) was Cloud Storage.

wdyt?

I'm wondering if recruiters are just as irritating everywhere or that this is just the shitty situation we have in the Netherlands.

I was once called by an unknown number and heard a typical recruiter story. Since i never heard of or spoke to this person i kindly asked where he'd get my information from. Since mr, Recruiter didn't answer and just kept selling his great position i hung up.

He called back.

I picked up the phone again and he told me there were connection issues. I once again asked where he found my number. And again he just acted like he didnt hear me and sells his great position.

Hangs up and blocks the number. Go f(...) yourself damn recruiter!

My first time doing a pair-programming for uni assignment.
My partner is actually smart (a Mechanical Engineering guy), except when it comes to programming :
1. Don't know how to spell FALSE
2. Don't know how to create array in Matlab
3. Poor variable naming
4. Redundant code everywhere
5. Not using tabs
6. Stealing my idea and spit it again in my face after claiming it as his idea
7. Mansplaining every line of his code like I am a stupid person who never sees a computer before.

He said he has an experience in Matlab, wants to specialize in Robotics and taking several ML classes. What did they teach anyway in class to produce a shitty programmer like him?

Thankfully despite his being an arrogant shitty guy, he still manage to get our code to works.
That's good because if not, then I will happily push his head under water while slowly watching him drown.

🤨

So, is anyone here going to 34c3(*) in Leipzig?

(I'd very much like to, but I have so much studying to do, so I'll stay at a local hackerspace and organize a little bit Congress Everywhere.)

(*)34c3 or the 34th Chaos Communication Congress is the largest hacker meet-up in Germany this year.

Well, my country aint very bright at least for me.

So you have few options, i will arrange them from generally percieved as shittiest place to best place.

You are student or whatever and work in small company. Thats where lot of people are stuck. Like me. Pay is... Sigh. When you hear dev can earn more than 1k$/mo its like "yes, yes, gimme, gimme". Forget about beeing just dev. If I left my company it would collapse within week, but bosses greed is insanity. Oh well.

Than you have that middleground that I would love to be in. Freelancing. Here freelancers can live really well if they can find contractors willing to pay for their services. Wuthin this space there is most profit but also that uncertanity. But its my goto.

Than you have miniscule group you **really** want to be in, medium companies writing software, usually b2b. Well, here you get often 2k$+ and bonuses for working your ass off etc, and benefits are minor but there is usually *something*

And than you have corporations. They often pay a lot, lot of benefits, but.... Its corporation, all ypu learned in small companies usually goes through the window, their expectations are high etc.

In my country everything is like everywhere else but pay is much less, especially in small company space, and somewhat smallish in medium company/corpo. Freelancers are least affected.

Long-time, no-rant.

I use Linux everywhere all the time. I'm not a huge gamer, but I like a few titles. Most run in Wine or can be made to run with effort in a VM. No biggie.

What I want to know from mobile/game devs is (sorry for ridiculously compound logic in non-lang):

IF you== gamedeveloper && you.haz({shitty}iOS_App) && you.haz({shitty}Android_App) &&
you.haz({shitty}WinXXX_App) && you.haz({shitty}MacOS_App):

THEN:
why(!you.haz({any}Linux_App))

return(excuse.shitty());

That. is. all. read on.

His long do you think it will take for Google to come up with a true replacement for Java. A replacement, not an alternative like Kotlin, but a complete "go f**k yourself, Larry" replacement that anyone can port their Java app over to. On January 1, if you are a for profit, Larry had said if you want to update to the next version and use Java SE to code with, you need a support license. It's a brill move, because Java is everywhere, and at least for a little while, it will generate a respectable profit for Oracle. But I'm sure Google is working on something to stick it to Larry. Wonder if EU competition chief Vestager will threaten am investigation. This should be fun to watch.

Just graduated, first real internship.
So basically I'm the only one who do what I'm supposed to do, nobody can help me because they are on project that are totally different. Even my superior who hired me don't know what my predecessor exactly did, he just gave me his gitlab and said "continue... Whatever this shit was".
So I'm alone and the code of my "predecessor" doesn't work obviously because the half of the files are missing, the code has no explanation and he's not joignable. I have to build an algorithm of deep learning from scratch and to do a presentation in one month to explain to everyone why I'm not useless.
Is it really like this everywhere?? Is it the reason why DevRant was created??
I read the quotes when I was in school like "oh no c'mon that really never happened". Foolish boy I was..

But there's nice coffee

C# has become shit.

I work since 2013 with C# (and the whole .NET stack) and I was so happy with it.
Compared to Java it was much lean, compared to all shitty new edge framework that looked like a unfinished midschool project, it was solid and mature.

It had his problems,. but compared to everything else that I tried, it was the quickes and most robust solution.

All went in a downhill leading to a rotten shit lake when all this javascript frenzy began to pop up and everyone wanted to get on the trendy bandwagon.

First they introduced MVC, then .NET Core, now .NET 5-6-7-8.

Now I'm literally engulfed with all these tiny bits of terror javascript provoked and they've implemented in all the parts of their framework.

Everything has to be null checked at compilation time, everything pops up errors "this might be nulll heyyyyy it's important put a ! or a ? you silly!!!" everywhere.

There are JS-ish constructs and syntax shit everywhere.

It's unbearable.
I avoid js like a plague whenever I can (and you know it's not a luxury you get often in the current state of a developer life) and they're slowly turning in some shit js hybrid deformed creature

I miss 2013-2018, when it wass all up to me to decide what to do with code and I did some big projects for big companies (200-300k lines of code without unit tests and yes for me it's a lot) without all this hassle.

I literally feel the need c# had to have some compiler rule you can quickly switch called "Senior developer mode" that doesn't trigger alarms and bells for every little stupid thing.

I'm sure you can' turn on/off these craps by some hidden settings somewhere, but heck I feel the need to be an option, so whoever keeps it on should see a big red label on top of the IDE saying "YOU HAVE RETARDED DEV MODE ON"

So they get a reminder that if they use it they are either some fresh junior dev or they are mentally challenged.

Driving though Malmö today is like when you've got five stars in GTA. Blue blinking lights and roadblocks everywhere.

FUCK YOU!!! HOW CANT YOU SEE THAT EVERY TIME I SUGGEST TO SEPARATE OUR FUCKING WORKFLOW WITH FRONT END/BACK END AND TRY TO INTRODUCE AT LEAST SOME MANAGEMENT TO THIS SHIT HOLE ITS MY WAY OF SAYING: look dude, I like it here but fuck you shit face if I have to deal with this fucking CSS bullshit one more time there are going to be delays everywhere ...

Fuck you CSS.

The ticket system blokes - episode 3

So we always had and have very awful performance with our ticket system. You can't get anything to load in under ~4s normally. Now since it has gotten worse over the last weeks i decided to set aside a few hours to closely watch our SQL server.
After i identified a culprit that was hogging the CPU almost every 2 minutes i looked at other long running queries in the server and found out where exactly the 4s come from.

6 tables from various DBs. Sure, no problem.

Left Outer Join. Sure, why not.

Querying every fucking column in every fucking table explicitly adding up to a whopping 160 columns which they need not even 10% of. We're talking about session IDs, passwords, stock count, IBANs and all that stuff to show the work done on a ticket. Absolutely not.

So i extracted the query and reduced it to the stuff we need and the execution time went from 4 seconds to almost instant.

The funny thing is that their idea of performance optimization is throwing LIMIT around everywhere to get these monstrous queries under control.

So in the next few days I'll have an appointment with their lead programmer. I'm looking forwards to it.

So out of curiosity: does anyone know an SQL builder or toolset that does shit like
SELECT X AS [t0_c0],
SELECT Y AS [t0_c1],
SELECT Z AS [t1_c0],
and so on? I'd like to know how they got to this point.

I'd like to use snake case like everywhere. Got that from rust.

Now in typescript, but seeing libraries and baseline core libraries in camel case, I end up going back to camel case.

I guess consistency is more important to me

Annoying Indian professors are everywhere. It's a computer vision class are you really teaching us Regression?

What about transfer learning? object detection! Give us papers to read, let's do projects.. what the hell is this I am going take attendance bullshit and teaching crappy concepts.

I did not sign up for this shit! I came here for my Masters to get away from pompous mother fuckers like you ...

My class is also filled with those idiots,who think bias in a neural network is somehow related to class imbalance ? Now the same idiot proceeds to ask questions like...

Why would the weights change in a neural network?
Motherfucker why you in this class ? Why don't you stick to your shit and ask these questions later..

I am so pissed off right now guys ...
I was sitting in my lab understanding the deeper insights of BN, activation fucntions.. various optimizers ..etc Stuff that this idiot motherfucking teacher must be covering... UGGH.

I shouldn't cuss so much.. or at least add variety to my cuss words..

I am pissed off cuz instead of learning the shit I should be learning I am forced to come and attend this class and waste 2 hrs of my life ...

It's the summer i find it hard to focus anyway (want to go out hiking or swimming or something.) BUT. the moment I find some resolve to focus

I get this fucking bullshit.. !

My mind is so fucked right now... I can't think of anything but standing up in class and screaming " Mother fucker, mother fucker...(point to the idiots in class you) motherfuckers shut the fuck up..

Can someone suggest some colorful swear words ?

My brains not working -_-

It is just about now that I start feeling like "Anger" from inside out

So for 2020, will there be a new cool language to bash on, or will it continue to be JS and python?

I find it strange how python hate is just popping up everywhere and to me it seems like it just started happening nov/dec.

God damnit!!

Just got a team assigned for the course I follow and the codebase they work looks like someone shit on the floor and dragged it all over place. No consistency, no clear structure.

The project has to be built in PHP (which is fine by the way) following the principles of MVC. Did I say the codebase looks like shit all over the place? Well that's exactly what it is!!

They use $_SERVER['DOCUMENT_ROOT'] everywhere!! In every fucking file!! Why the FUCK would someone possibly want to do that??

I know I'm not perfect, but what the fuck!!

Now comes the most weird thing. They have to work on a remote server without SSH access, so working with FTP is mandatory. This is because the school won't setup ssh. That's fine by me, but because of that they don't use git!! They upload files directly to the production server. They merge everything manually. I asked why they didn't use git and the answer was so fucking SHIT!! "Because the teacher wants to see who uploaded to the server.."

First off all: what happened to git blame? Second: Later I heard that there is only one FTP account, so all the things they said where just bullshit!!

The fuck.

Tomorrow I'm going to try and convince them to use git..

I need guidance about my current situation.
I am perfectionist believing in OOP, preventing memory leak in advance, following clean code, best practices, constantly learning about new libraries to reduce custom implementation & improve efficiency.
So even a single bad variable name can trigger my nerves.

I am currently working in a half billion $ IT service company on a maintenance project of 8 year old Android app of security domain product of 1 of the top enterprise company of the world, which sold it to the many leading companies in the world in Govt service, banking, insurance sectors.

It's code quality is such a bad that I get panic attacks & nightmares daily.

Issues are like
- No apk obfuscation, source's everything is openbook, anybody can just unzip apk & open it in Android Studio to see the source.
- logs everywhere about method name invoked,
- static IV & salt for encryption.
- thousands of line code in God classes.
- Irrelevant method names compared to it's functionality.
- Even single item having list takes 2-3 seconds to load
- Lag in navigation between different features' screens.
- For even single thing like different dimension values for different density whole 100+ lines separate layout files for 6 types of densities are written.
- No modularized packages, every class is in single package & there are around 100+ classes.

Owner of the code, my team lead, is too terrified to change even single thing as he don't have coding maturity & no understanding of memory leak, clean code, OOP, in short typical IT 'service' company mentality.

Client is ill-informed or cost-cutting centric so no code review done by them in 8 years.

Feeling much frustrated as I can see it's like a bomb is waiting to blast anytime when some blackhat cracker will take advantage of this.

Need suggestions about this to tackle the situation.

Tldr: I think I made a company fire some dev a year ago.
I was working for this company remotely, alone, on a very big and old legacy php project where they still used echo '<code><code/>'; and i was a very junior junior front end developer, needed to make the website work somehow (whole new design). They brought in a random guy to work with me, and we started working.. I was using bitbucket to version my changes, and I asked him to do the same. He tried pushing his changes once and then practically never again because he started working in files that i was working on and there were git conflicts, and he gave up, even though i asked him to do that... he then statted using general classes to style the page (like .color) with absolute positioning and it broke everything everywhere. He then proceeded to minify half of the php files 'because of performance', I remember talking to other few people in the company and he disappeared a few more days later. I never finished the project because they stopped it randomly and i think i got him fired even though he could've continued working in the company

First day at my job and once I got home I immediately crashed into my bed and woke up at 3 AM.

For some reason I still feel physically tired. Even though I woke up by myself (no distractions from my environment).

+ I feel like having worked out even though I did not. I can feel the muscles aching everywhere in my body.

Anyway back to how it went...
I got there (company) and met a young people like me who are also working in this company for the first time.

Once I saw them + the chief and the leaders, my anxiety kicked in, but I made sure not to show it.

We took photos and saw the cubes (data center cubes) and it felt like I was in a hacking scene from Mr Robot or Watch Dogs lol. It was so cool.

After that we were assigned to our temporary work places and mine was at a place where you get packages from the delivery trucks, cut them, sort them, put etiquettes on them and register them in the system.

Another boy (let's call him Daniel) and me were assigned to this place. He is going to be a sys admin.

The people at this workplace were very chill, cool and mature.
You can joke with them and they will not get offended (looking at you, Twitter) lol.

Daniel however is the opposite.
He is so god damn extroverted that he literally won't stop talking.
At some point he asked me if I was even listening and I admitted that the unconcious side of the brain of mine built a filter over the years that only let's valuable information flow through. When there is no valuable information, I do not process them in my conciousness.

Poor guy got a bit sad, but me whatever. Not my problem. He gave me an headache by talking nonstop nonsense.

Today, when my shift begins, I will learn to do drive a forklift and I'm excited about this.

I do not even need a license for it which you normally need in other companies :D

Funny story...
Got a small college assignment based on Java and Cassandra(database). The database shell was running fine. Spent 5 days removing the random java exceptions and working on the basic connectivity, searched everywhere on Stack overflow and other forums for solutions and still no help.
So, I decided to write a program that would print only the output as I knew what would be the output when it will run. Took a screenshot of it and made up a cover story to tell my professor that I did it on a friend's computer.
But while I was taking a screenshot of the Eclipse with code window and output window, some random syntax errors popped up.(but they weren't syntax error).
So I created a new project and copied the pom.xml file and the code into the new one(I tried this one before and it didn't work). And there were no errors. So I took a screenshot of it with output of different file and opened a different file.

But then, don't know what came across my mind and I clicked on run just to see if this works, and it worked fine. And now I'm like.. WTF JUST HAPPENED!!

Fixed a bug today that I created over a year ago.
It made a machine start doing really fucked up things like running motors when it shouldn't. My boss, an expert on the system and the code, gave me some ideas to check. He couldn't understand why it was doing it either. So I started checking things and comparing to another piece of code that does similar things. I finally found a place where I had used a really sketchy pointer. I even knew it was sketchy at the time and put a ? mark in the comments next to the line of code. I changed the code to match another system that explicitly creates the object. Then I started testing the system and boom everything is working as it should. I talked to my boss and explained everything. He said it was an easy mistake to make. Internally I was saying, "But I don't make easy mistakes. I make hard mistakes!" LOL

Got to walk away from work for the weekend knowing that my other code is a lot more solid than I was thinking earlier this week. I was starting to second guess what could possibly cause this problem and thinking there could be culprits everywhere. Boss was happy problem was solved as he is going to be showing off the system I am working on in a month at a show.

When I was younger I had a decision to go into hardware or software. I chose software and have loved it.

Recentily I just spent 5 hours trying install a Linux distro on an old server. I made no progress.

I made the right decision. Hardware freaking sucks! You spend hours working on outdated pieces of crap and find that to fix your problem you need to sell you kidney to finance your project. Not to mention you have to wait for literally everything! It's like gradel builds everywhere! Want to install a new distro on your USB? Bam, 5min gone. Want to boot into bios and change one setting? BAM! more time wasted...

A note to the sysadmins out there: thank you. I love you. I am so happy you do this kind of work so I don't have to.

Hi. I would like a hamburger. Would you like cheese? No. I would like a hamburger with no cheese. Ok. Wait here 15 minutes and I'll give you a hamburger with cheese.

It's the same everywhere... image assets... project managers... node packages... almost every exchange I have - is with someone who isn't present and cannot deliver what they promise.

Huge thanks to the other people who follow through.

yOu kNow wHat? i'Ve hAd iT wiTh tHis fUckiNg hoPpeD uP coUntRy, i'Ve bEen oUt tHe aRmy lEss tHan a yEaR aNd, fuLl dIsclOsurE, i kNew iT wAs bAd bUt wHat iN tHe sKullfUckeRy iS wrOng wIth tHe u.k?

abSolUte rEtarDs eVErYwhEre, wIth sOme oF tHe mOst pIggIsh, sOul dEstrOyiNg aNd sUiCide mOngErinG lEaders i hAve eVer mEt (thAt's a hElluVa aChievemEnt aFteR 5 yEaRs iN tHe aRmy).

thE aMouNt oF iLleGal iMmiGranTs tHat dOn't hAve a wOrd oF eNgliSh oR siNgle tHiNg tO gIve tHis cOuntRy, oTheR tHan pAediPhilia, rApe, kNiveS, dEbt, aNd iDiocy.

yEt tHe gOveRnmeNt iS anAlly rApiNg eVerY siNgle bRitIsh cItizEn tO gIve eVerY siNgle iMmiGranT bEttEr lIviNg cOndItioNs tHan 90% oF pEople wHo aRe hEre lEgallY.

thE wOke-iSm tHat pErmEateS eVerYthiNg iS bEyonD a jOke nOw tOo. wHen tHe hEll dId bAsiC lIfe bEcomE sO coNvOlutEd, "ofFenSive" aNd "scaRy" tHat pRimaRy sChoOls hAve dRag qUeeNs cOmiNg iN tO rEad, sEx eD claSses tHat tEach sHit lIke sEx cHanGes, tRanSiTionIng, bEndiNg tO eVerYone's wIll, aNd tO bE pUnisHed fOr aSking qUesTions?

it fEels lIke tHerE's a cRusHing wEighT oN mY chEst 24/7 aNd i cAn't eVen sPeak aBouT iT bEcaUse nOw frEe sPeech cAn gEt yOu dEmonIzed, oStrAcized, aNd eVen lOckEd uP!

it'S oKay tHougH, yOu wOn't bE lOckEd uP wIth aNy rApiSts, pAediPhileS, thieVes, oR sA's bEcauSe tHey're aLl bAck oN tHe sTreeTs tO mAke sPacE fOr aNyOne wHo dAreS hAve a vOice.

evEry tIme i tAlk tO pEoplE nOw i fEel vIolent aNd fuLl oF rAge. sOme oF tHe tIme iT's nOt eVen tHeIr fAult, i'M jUst bEing cHippEd aWay aT. coNstAntly.

i'M gEnuiNelY scAred i'M gOing tO lOse mY sHit aNd bReak sOmeone's nEck, oR mY oWn."

Best? Clojure docs. They have disqus-like thing under every function description where anyone can submit their usage example. One example times forty submissions equals forty examples!

Also w3c specs, nuff said.

Worst? GunJS. Multiple websites that look like each other plus GitHub wiki all with the same content but idk which one should I use, also there is no complete source, you have to look up everywhere. Also NextJS, they’re too busy pitching to investors, there is no way of contacting them, you’re in your own if you choose nextjs, that’s why I banned it everywhere I have the power to ban things

Oh boi... that was a great and a shitty day.
Let us just see the positives tho.
A: Shopping in huge ass mall. (I hate Shopping, but not when it is about tech, cars, books, ahem playb... errrm just joking, food and Cinema I am all in.)
B: Visiting a place for animals living on the wild streets of Antalya. That place was right under the sun. It was not a building or anything like that. Near a well-known tower from the Osmanian Empire. There were a lot of kittens everywhere. The kittens were so cute. Omg. Most of them even had an own house. All of them colored in many different colors. Their houses have been donated by couples. Even the government helped the kittens by placing water refreshers with a roof above them. The man who is feeding them is someone who seemed to be like a poor man. He was very kind. I like him. We donated some money, but we could not do any more than that since we are not allowed to take them to Germany via air plane. Makes sense, right?
C: We made a boat trip. Oh boy... That was fucking awesome. I was allowed to get to the "nose" of the boat and chill there. I somehow found the confidence to take a group selfie with strangers LOL

Everyone in this team calls everything a team effort, but once I start offering my help, they be like "no, I can do it. I know more than you".

Hmm. yeah, but you (sysadmin) use jQuery and vanillajs mixed. For example: $('#hello') and document.getElementById('hello').
Also you put console.logs everywhere, I don't mind putting console.logs in development, but not in production.
Oh and he copies the libraries to every folder that needs it, so there are at least 12 jquery libs in this project and the version is not even the same. Lol.... Please slap me to death.

There is another networkadmin that calls himself a (python) developer. He doesn't agree with my simplicity.

His work (just an example, changed names but you get the idea)
"A notebook that is used by x-department"

Model: Notebook
endpoint: department-notebooks

Model: DepartmentConfigs
Endpoint: notebook-department-configs
You won't believe what he put in 'department'configs, it's literally hardware vendor, model, versions.

Like... really? What the hell you doing man?!
Just have these models for example: device, department, vendor, product, category

We do not only have notebooks, but also servers, routers, switches and more.

His argument of having configs in the name is that they do more complex things. Hmm, I don't see it in the code and the data is messed up:
Microsoft, microsoft, micro soft.

He fixed it by hardcoding it in a select box. Mickysoft isn't the only vendor, fuck you!

fuck this team, fuck these people

Another fucking rant, a story was assigned to me. But that stupid fake developer worked on it immediately and message me he fixed it already. I guess he won't let me touch his baby.

Everything is just piling up. This team and people aren't fun at all.

It sometimes really sucks to see how many developers, mostly even much better than me, are too lazy to implement a function to its full UX finish.

Like how can you not implement pagination if you know there's going to be fuck ton of content, how can you not allow deleting entries, how can there be no proper search of content, but instead some google custom search, how can you not implement infinite loading everywhere, but only in parts of your application, how can you not caching a rendered version or improve the page, that loads EVERY SINGLE ENTRY in your database with 11k entries, by just adding a filter and loading only chunks of it.

I know sometimes you need to cut corners, but there's rarely any excuse with modern toolsets to just write 3 lines more and have it ready for such basic things.

I sometimes just wake up during the night or before falling asleep and think "oh, what if in the future he might want to manage that, it's just another view and another function handling a resource, laravel makes that very easy anyway", write in on my list and do it in a blink the next day, if there's nothing else like a major bug.

I have such high standard of delivery for myself, that it feels so weird, how somebody can just deliver such a shitty codebase (e.g. filled with "quick/temporary implementations"), not think of the future of the application or the complete user and or admin experience.

Especially it almost hurts seeing somebody so much more versatile in so many areas than me do it, like you perfectly fine know how to cache it in redis, you probably know a fuck ton of other ways I don't even know of yet to do it, yet you decide to make it such a fucking piece of shit and call it finished.

Boss assigned code cleanup to me. We put up eslint and fixed a couple of issues, all nice and cute. Now, he wants me to find any redundant code and remove it (redundant fields in config objects). Sounds doable right?

WRONG!

Because we're writing fucking ExtJS. This abomination that is still called a "web framework" in lieu of its former glory supports no typescript, no code intel, no JSDoc, no nothing. Absolutely heinous and deplorable. Add insult to injury, our code on it is even worse. NO single component reused except from a couple REALLY fucking badly written ones, because every component queries for shit outside its jurisdiction so it's all a dependency spaghetti. Everything else is just copy-paste. Barely anything works as intended anymore in this bloody joke of an app.

I tell him in a meeting, I can prepare an automated solution. Some script or something that runs on a file watcher. All nice and dandy. A weekend and a Monday later, I get tired and do something else to clear up my mind. Show him some progress in that other thing. He's like:

Boss: that's good and all but did you remove *insert misused config that got everywhere during copy paste* like I told you to?

Me: I'm still working on it. I switched cause I got tired a bit with the automation.

Boss: automation?

Me: We were talking about in the meeting. *Explains again*

Boss: That's not what we agreed upon

Mfw I've been rambling uselessly on the meeting about it just for you to put me down and make me remove all that copy pasted GUNK from the melting hot garbage that is our codebase BY HAND? All the 150 occurrences of it? What do you think I am, a fucking robot?

Teach things properly, most teachers are confused and they start throwing keywords at even more confused students who then have no clue what they are doing and they then ask me to do their work for them showing me their unindented(well... kinda, they all seem to fight with the IDE, which is trying to properly indent their mess, for some reason), teachers think that Turbo Pascal is the way of life and that it is used everywhere(one teacher tried to tell me that Pascal is used in the stock market and in modern operating systems - U wot m8?! how high are you right now) and they don't teach user input sanitization and type checking, they stare at you like you are the fucking satan when you dare to use objects, collections and abstraction because they are scared to death of that stuff... and then they think 60 minutes is enough to teach HTML, CSS, JS and PHP in one go(which they even don't know properly - the teacher that made and maintains the school's website is probably stuck in 1998 judging by the design and functionality of the website and his clothes) and they then send absolutely clueless students to compete in a web design competition (and then they get angry at the judges for giving the students 0 points)

Recently I have started working with a company with a codebase older than I am. Hundreds of different projects with GoTos everywhere, and all error handling rendered useless by the continuous use of On Error Resume Next.
I feel like a mixture of Indiana Jones amd Gordon Ramsay...

The worst of Agile and Sc(r)um: All those people knowing the right way(™) to do it. Endless discussion about useless tooling: the proper use of the custom workflow in Jira, on when and how to create sub tickets. The hour-less meta-discussions on what should be discussed where and when (what's subject of the backlog refinement, retro, etc), the roles: the PO's, what he should do, cannot, the PM's. Who is allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint or not. How many reviewers need to acknowledge a pull request. To and fro. Pointless, but fought with heart and blood, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

And everywhere I hear: "In my previous company, we did Scrum like.. and it worked perfectly!"

Some of you might remember my rants on Mr. Gitmaster, with whom I thought I'd made my peace. Guess what? He's now a team member and turning into Mr. Agile - a more severe reincarnation! As our company starts flogging that dead horse of Agility, he seems to feel strong tailwind. Our team lead would constantly cut his monologues, but he's now on holiday, so we have no escape from the never ending: "In my previous company..."

If it was so great, why didn't you stay?

We are not allowed to pull a ticket to the sprint unless every team member is notified? I don't fucking care. If our software fails on customer's machines and I can fix it, I will do if there is a ticket, if it's in the sprint or not. Screw Scrum, if it is getting in the way of it. You can waste your hours discussing horseshit, I want to sit at my desk, deep in the test-compile loop and ship some fucking code.

ECMAScript is everywhere, so I thought: Let's do even more inappropriate and insane things with it ;)

...Like using Duktape (small ECMAScript engine) and exposing LoadLibrary/GetProcAddress along with some helper routines to describe the routine's argument types and return type, and finally providing a routine to invoke those routines.

It's a very rough prototype that can handle up to 4 arguments in a 64-bit Windows environment.

Next "todo" is structure handling which will initially be a case of stuffing data into a Buffer() object.

I'm not sure what exactly I'm trying to do with it or why...

It was the last year of high school.

We had to submit our final CS homework, so it gets reviewed by someone from the ministry of education and grade it. (think of it as GPA or whatever that is in your country).

Now being me, I really didn’t do much during the whole year, All I did was learning more about C#, more about SQL, and learn from the OGs like thenewboston, derek banas, and of course kudvenkat. (Plus more)

The homework was a C# webform website of whatever theme you like (mostly a web store) that uses MS Access as DB and a C# web service in SOAP. (Don’t ask.)

Part 1/2:

Months have passed, and only had 2 days left to deadline, with nothing on my hand but website sketches, sample projects for ideas, and table schematics.

I went ahead and started to work on it, for 48 hours STRAIGHT.

No breaks, barely ate, family visited and I barely noticed, I was just disconnected from reality.

48 hours passed and finished the project, I was quite satisfied with my it, I followed the right standards from encrypting passwords to verifying emails to implementing SQL queries without the risk of SQL injection, while everyone else followed foot as the teacher taught with plain text passwords and… do I need to continue? You know what I mean here.

Anyway, I went ahead and was like, Ok, lets do one last test run, And proceeded into deleting an Item from my webstore (it was something similar to shopify).

I refreshed. Nothing. Blank page. Just nothing. Nothing is working, at all.

Went ahead to debug almost everywhere, nothing, I’ve gone mad, like REALLY mad and almost lose it, then an hour later of failed debugging attempts I decided to rewrite the whole project from scratch from rebuilding the db, to rewriting the client/backend code and ui, and whatever works just go with it.

Then I noticed a loop block that was going infinite.

NEVER WAIT FOR A DATABASE TO HAVE MINIMUM NUMBER OF ROWS, ALWAYS ASSUME THAT IT HAS NO VALUES. (and if your CPU is 100%, its an infinite loop, a hard lesson learned)

The issue was that I requested 4 or more items from a table, and if it was less it would just loop.

So I went ahead, fixed that and went to sleep.

Part 2/2:

The day has come, the guy from the ministry came in and started reviewing each one of the students homeworks, and of course, some of the projects crashed last minute and straight up stopped working, it's like watching people burning alive.

My turn was up, he came and sat next to me and was like:

Him: Alright make me an account with an email of asd@123.com with a password 123456

Me: … that won't work, got a real email?

Him: What do you mean?

Me: I implemented an email verification system.

Him: … ok … just show me the website.

Me: Alright as you can see here first of all I used mailgun service on a .tk domain in order to send verification emails you know like every single website does, encrypted passwords etc… As you can see this website allows you to sign up as a customer or as a merc…

Him: Good job.

He stood up and moved on.

YOU MOTHERFUCKER.

I WENT THROUGH HELL IN THE PAST 48 HOURS.

AND YOU JUST SAT THERE FOR A MINUTE AND GAVE UP ON REVIEWING MY ENTIRE MASTERPIECE? GO SWIM IN A POOL FULL OF BURNING OIL YOU COUNTLESS PIECE OF SHIT

I got 100/100 in the end, and I kinda feel like shit for going thought all that trouble for just one minute of project review, but hey at least it helped me practice common standards.