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My "Coding Standards" for my dev team
1.) Every developer thinks or have thought their shit don't stink. If you think you have the best code, submit it to your peers for review. The results may surprise you.
2.) It doesn't matter if you've been working here for a day or ten years. Everyone's input is valuable. I don't care if you're the best damn programmer. If you ever pull rank or seniority on someone who is trying to help, even if it isn't necessarily valid or helpful, please have your resume ready to work elsewhere.
3.) Every language is great and every language sucks in their own ways. We don't have time for a measuring contest. The only time a language debate should arise is for the goal of finding the right one for the project at hand.
4.) Comment your code. We don't have time to investigate what the structure and purpose of your code is when we need to extend upon it.
5.) If you use someone else's work, give them the credit in your comments. Plagiarism will not be tolerated.
6.) If you use flash, you will be taken out back and shot. If you survive, you will be shot again.
7.) If you load jQuery for the sole purpose of writing a simple function, #6 applies.
8.) Unless it is an actual picture, there is little to no reason for not utilizing CSS. That's what it's there for.
9.) We don't support any version of Internet Explorer and Edge other than the latest versions, and only layout/alignment fixes will be bothered with.
10.) If you are struggling with a task, reach out. While you should be able to work independently, it doesn't make sense to waste your time and everyone else's to not seek assistance when needed.
11.) I'm serious about #6 and #7. Don't do it.48 -
Oh my god... Storytime.
A customer comes in with I assume is his father or grandfather.
Customer: I need a computer, but without all the internals
Me: So a case?
Customer: Yes, I need a Dell computer outsides, but without the internal components.
Me: Well, we don't have Dell cases, but we sell custom build cases and they come with a power supply.
Customer: *says nothing, but looks interested*
Me: *walks over to the cases to show him* So this is what the cases look like and we have two types, one for a ATX and one for a micro-ATX.
Customer: *still says nothing, but looks at them*
Me: What motherboard do you have at the moment?
Customer: Well, I don't have anything right now, but I'm replacing another computer that didn't work very well. I'm going to be getting some Dell parts to put in here.
Me: O-okay. So this other computer, I'd like to see it in shop to see what's going on with it.
Customer: Oh, you do NOT want to do that. I hooked it up to another computer and it blew it up.
Me: Huh, that's weird. I'd still like to look at it if possible.
Customer: Oh no, it's all wired wrong and... *some bullshit, but stay with me*
Customer: I am the best at technology. My hand has computer parts in it--government funded. *some more bullshit*
Me: Okay... *I try to bring it back around* Well, I'd still like to see the other computer for myself. So you don't have parts for this new build yet, right? You don't know what type of motherboard you have?
Customer: No.
Me: Well, I would get the internals first, so you know what size of case to get, and then get the case.
Customer: Okay. Thank you for your time.
He shook my hand with his "cyborg" hand and I was tempted to say something about "try not to crush my hand," but elected not to. Also during this entire exchange, the old man continuously farted in the background.22 -
classmate: Hey, "friend" told me you do freelance website development. right? I need to create a new website and need your help.
Me: umm... OK... what's it about?
Classmate: It's for my dad's friend's business.
Me: OK. but I will charge the standard rate.
classmate: No... I will make it myself. I just want your help.
Me(Internally): ...not again...
Me: Do it yourself then.
Classmate: It will be quick. an hour or two max.
Me: *speechless*
Classmate: And one of my uncle who did IT told me that c++ is faster. can we use that instead of HTML?
Me: huh...?
classmate: you don't know shit.
... classmate walks away...
This guy somehow manages to get As in exams (mostly cheating. and our papers are shitty theory papers which you can mug up. so that helps) and in a year will have an IT degree.56 -
Biggest hurdle: torn between having boobs and missing an arm. I swear some people are under the assumption the brain is in the arm.
I am fully capable of building your network, resolving your outage due to your faulty code, can even tell you how many users your database can support at once. I don't need arms for that. Nor do my boobs distract me that badly.
"but men are going to make your life so hard" yup. And that's true no matter where i go
"all that typing with one arm can't be good for your back" welp. Find me a job that doesn't require a computer. Or manual labor. If you think typing will fuck me up, that's DEFINITELY out of the equation
"you're too pretty, there's no way this can make sense" dafuq you just say?!?!
"why don't you just stay home on disability, I'm sure you qualify, you wouldn't need to work" I'd rather be a fucking trophy wife if I'm staying at home. Fuck that.
And many more.
Sometimes they're fun. Give me more dumb arguments to counter? ;)55 -
We were talking about harddrives at work when someone was wondering if filling them with helium would make them spin faster... Then imagination took over!
"But helium balloons float, right... So would helium filled hard drives float..? Probably not due to weight but imagine dropping a hard drive and seeing it float towards the ceiling.."
"John, the delivery guy has a box with new harddrives downstairs, could you go get them?
*shouts* John did you get them? Just don't open the box outside!! No, no, NOOO DON'T OPEN IT OUTSIDE! JOHN, THE HARDDRIVES, BE CAREFUL, DON'T OPEN THE BOX OUTSI.....
*harddrives floating by the window into the air*
NOO, JOHN, WHAT DID YOU DO?!
"*walks into the office, harddrives floating against the ceiling* goddammit John, not again"
"John, why are you putting one kilometer long cables on those harddrives?
*John let's them float into the air towards the clouds*
We offer cloud storage!"
(We have a usual office building ceiling)
"John, I need a 1tb harddrive, where are those?
Uhm... C12!
*takes a ladder and walks towards c12 to pluck one from the ceiling*"
😆7 -
To all developers who think "I don't need to delete that one 1KB temp file"
FUCK.YOU.
You are not the only garbage developer who does not clean his shit up. The reason we need TERA FUCKING BYTE storage devices nowadays is because you incompetent shit heads have no idea how an application has to properly work. A temp file is not there to exist for ever. HENCE THE FUCKING WORD TEMPORARY20 -
Ex-Boss (62years old)- why do you wear a watch? Take it off.
Me (bewildered) - why? What happened?
Him - see I don't wear a watch also.
Come on, take it off.
Me - *took off my watch* now what?
Him - see. Now you can also look at the time using your mobile, like me. No need of watch. U should be modern.
Me- *WTF. Are u high or something, u fucking insane asshole? *
He was one weird piece of shit.21 -
//Long rant
[Boss man]: Hey, we need you to build us a web app.
[Me]: Okay, what do you need it to do?
[Boss man]: We need staff to be able to login from anywhere, create new appointments, check room availability, display live times for the rooms, schedule future appointments, record all the data as stats and export the stats to (email address).
[Me]: Okay, sounds useful, anything else?
[Boss man]: we also need it to send all relevant data to a calendar where certain staff will be notified by email of events.
[Me]: Okay... I'll get right on starting this.
[Boss man]: So you can have it done by the end of the day? (4 hours from this time)
[Me]: *Internal screaming* *WHAT THE FUCK* Uhm, no, I don't think that is possible to complete in a four hour period by myself.
[Boss man]: Okay, well by tomorrow then, I'm leaving for the day though, have a good one.
[Me]....
//End long rant12 -
Shopping for fridge with sister in law.
"Yeah that one is nice but it doesn't have an app"
"Why do you need an app for your fridge"
"I don't know, but this other fridge has an app, so I think if it doesn't have an app it's not that good"
"But it's very energy-efficient, silent and spacious. The one with the app is the same size, has a worse energy rating, is noisier and is more expensive as well"
"Yeah I know but if there's no extra features that's kind of boring"
"You are everything that's wrong with modern consumers"28 -
Holy fucking hell!
Who the fuck sets up a local network with an 255.255.0.0 subnet mask and then lets the dhcp-server distribute clients onto the 192.249.x.x., 192.2.x.x and the 192.22.x.x networks AT FUCKING RANDOM???
I need to SSH onto 40 routers distributed across the entire campus and have a WORKING internet connection while doing so and you make me spin the connect-disconnect-wheel. Fucking hell dude, don't give me that "Uh, it wasn't intended for this size"-bullshit. You have about 200 active devices. And in one subnet you have space for more than 60 000. Fuck you, dumbass! OH, YOUR FUCKING LIST IS FUCKING WRONG AND YOU DON'T REMEMBER THE IP OF THE ROUTERS? OH FUCK YOU EVEN HARDER!!!
Goddamn people why does legacy maintenance always suck so much?😭😭😭4 -
Jesus fucking christ, entering w3schools.com (don't ask) and I immediately get a cookie consent thing shoved in my face.
WHY?! Please don't tell me it's so I can get the 'best experience' because that's straight out bullshit. I don't need cookies and you fucking name it to get 'the best fucking experience' while looking up again how that one PHP or HTML or CSS or WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER thing worked.
E-v-e-r-y GODDAMN site has this nowadays, to 'improve my experience' - I block ads anyways so what's the motherfucking point?!
Mother of FUCKING god.
alskdjaioethsdjlkjrfoikmedr29 -
We build a backup infrastructure at work to make sure that clients can restore their files and databases themselves when something gets fucked up.
We also have step by step tutorial on how to do this.
Every fucking day we get requests to restore backups.
Mostly used reason is "I'm a technical so I won't understand it".
With all due respect, if you don't understand this and keep asking without even trying, please don't host with us.
Because, if you did as I asked and actually read through the entire article, you would.
In case you're wondering, anytime one of us asks what part they don't understand, that question is simply ignored and they pushing for us restoring it anyways continues.
Sometimes they get angry and want to talk to someone higher up or start complaining that they're paying loads of money already and that it would just take us a second anyways.
If you would read the fucking tutorial/manual instead of trying to eat out your mother's badly shaved pussy and hopefully choke on it while you're at it, you wouldn't come asking us for it.
If you genuinely don't understand this article, feel free to ask but also provide us with cocksucking feedback.
Why do you think you have the right anyways to ask us to do it for free? We maintain the backup infrastructure which definitely isn't cheap but we do it so that you, pubic sniffing weazel, can do this shit on your fucking own.
You're entitled to ask us for help but not for asking us to restore your bullshit for free every freaking time.
Tip: give your parents some condoms. Because that way they hopefully won't reproduce again, we don't need more of you in this universe.7 -
WhatsApp, freaking WhatsApp.
How did this thing become such a standard. How? Why does everyone EXPECT you to have it. They assume that you have it installed on your phone.
'Why don't you respond to my messages? '
'Which messages? '
'The ones I sent you'
'I didn't get any messages. Wait, how did you send them to me? '
'WhatsApp'
'Ah, yeah I don't use that. Wait, where did you even get my phone number from? '
'What? You don't have WhatsApp? Freaking weirdo. '
'bye'
How did an app(lication) become such a standard and why does everyone automatically assume that you have it? And whenever I explain them why I don't use it (Facebook = bad), they just react with 'install it again' (most ridiculous answer) or 'what is wrong with you' or they just give me a confused look and walk away.
A lot of them also act like there were no alternatives (some even better than whatsapp). One of them and probably also the best one is signal. It has all the necessary features a messaging app needs and is also very secure.
Luckily a few of my friends have installed signal and I am currently trying my best at my parents. They have threatened to 'take my phone away if I don't install WhatsApp again' or 'if you don't use WhatsApp then you also don't need a phone'.
Okay finale:
Fuck whatsapp, fuck facebook, fuck ignorance24 -
I have this one major pet peeve - getting interrupted on any messenger by "hey".
Q: Hey
A: Hey, what's up?
-minutes pass, I try to resume work-
Q: Do you have a second?
A: Sure, what's up?
-minutes pass, I try to resume work... Again-
Q: Do you know anything about #feature#?
A: Yeah, I wrote most of it, what do you need?
-minutes pass, I try to resume work... AGAIN-
(goes on same pattern, takes half an hour for a 10 second question/answer)
Like... Come on!!! Don't do this to me
I get it, I like to be cordial and friendly - but there is absolutely nothing stopping you from getting your message across without making me have to go back and forth (interrupting my work).9 -
BOSS: i will need your resume for this new project, can you make it?
ME: sure, but don't you have one?
BOSS: yes, but i would need it changed for a new details
ME: ok...
after work...
BOSS: we have a problem, remember that resume? we need it on english, and need it right now, can you translate it at home?
ME: ok, but give me a few minutes...
sends translated resume...
BOSS: ummm, it's not translated well, you didn't translate your education...
ME: the name of the school? you can't translate that...
BOSS: this lady asked for it, so do it...
ME: ok...
sends again...
BOSS: not quite there yet, you have Ć in your last name, translate that...
ME: translate my last name?
BOSS: yeah, this lady has a spell check and saw that incorrect...
ME: .....
im going to celebrate when i leave this itterate shithole16 -
So apparently devRant is a problem in my life. As those of you who've read any of my stuff here know I work at Victoria's Secret. So two of my friends come in just before I was ending my shift to see what the plans were for tonight. The usual - hit the club, crash at one of our houses.
Thing is, I was scrolling through devRant when they walked up. (the below is paraphrased)
Friend1: Ugh, you're still on that thing?
Friend2: Is she really? <looks over my shoulder>
Me: <eyeroll>
Friend2: I don't get it. <pokes me in the left tit> You barely post on Instagram and you don't tweet anymore. And you haven't commented on any of my posts in like days. Wtf bitch?
Disclaimer: Yes, we are those girls who talk like that and go clubbing and dress up and makeup and all that shit. Don't judge me because I don't give a fuck. Anyway...
Friend1: Seriously.
Me: Really? We're doing this? Because I haven't posted on fucking Instagram? I talk to you every day. I see you every other day. I like coding. I like tech. This place is awesome and the people are cool. If I want to see your ass or your outfit, I can just look at you. I don't need to be on Instagram 24/7.
Friend2: Jeez bitch. Need a tampon
<we all laugh>
Me: This is my thing. It doesn't mean we aren't friend and we won't chill, but my future is in development and technology. So deal hoes.
Friend1: Ugh you're such a nerd.
Friend2: <laughing>
Me: And you're both like totally vapid sluts. But I love you.
Friend2: Jelly
Friend1: Totes jelly. Girl you need some vitamin D
Me: I'm sayin'. But that doesn't mean I won't spend my free time coding.
Friend2: Ugh alright we don't give a fuck. Code or whatever. Just be ready at 11.
We all flip each other the bird and they leave. I guess if that's the level of acceptance I can get from my wonderful, gorgeous, annoying, amazing, asshole best friends, I'll take it. I am not changing my path.69 -
FUCKING LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!
I NEED TO FUCKING WORK!
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT POLITICS.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR RANDOM FUCKING DREAMS.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT COINS OR THE PRICE OF GOLD.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOME EXPENSIVE PLANE OR BOAT OR CAR YOURE NEVER GOING TO BUY.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT CHINA.
NO I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR DRAMA.
I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF THE ARBITRARY FUCKING BULLSHIT YOU BLABBER ABOUT.
STOP. WASTING. MY. TIME.
I'M THE ONLY ONE PAYING THE BILLS
SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LET ME DO IT!26 -
Now there was this meeting where our boss called our team to reach at exactly 8:00 . One minute more and you will be fired.
Turns out he himself reached at 8:15 for the meet. And we were just staring him, wanting to say, "Hey boss, you don't need to come anymore. YOU ARE FIRED."9 -
- Password can't contain less than 3 chars
- Password can't contain more than 12 chars
- Password must contain only alphabetical and numerical chars
- Password must contain at least one uppercase letter
- Password can't contain a sequence of repetitive chars
- You already used this password in the past
- Password can't contain parts of passwords already used in the past
- Password can't contain your name, birthday or any other personal information
- Password can't be an anagram
- This password is too weak
"Remember that you have to update your password every 6 months".
Who the fuck has enough imagination to invent a new password that meets all these requirements every fucking 6 months?
And if so, how the fuck you can also remember it?
Fuck off… I don't really need access to my university account, right? 😡22 -
Bought a Microsoft surface (3 pro) from a colleague (more about how that runs later).
It had only one USB port and I definitely need more so started searching online for docks. They mostly seem to be about 100+ euro and all have hdmi ports and other shit other than USB ports as well but I don't need that.
Fuck it, let's get creative (and fuck 100 euro for something like this)!
Double sided tape (however you call that) + 2 euro USB dock:
Works like a charm!
20 -
I've been writing PHP for more then 10 years. So, one fine day while having coffee with new tech manager...
Manager: huh, you've been programmer for very long time. Can you explain how echo works?
Me: err.. Echo. Spit out string. (show some example code on my phone)
Manager: I mean, I want to know, which part in C++ code in PHP engine. (trying to impress with jargons)
Me: I don't know. But why?
Manager: As programmer, you need to know, so you can echo more efficient.
Me: ... Errr... Ok... (I've been echo-ing for more then decade. Is there a way to make echo more efficient?)13 -
Client: why hasnt anything been done for the new site?
Me: because you never paid for the last one thats been put into production
Client: yeah but that was a smaller simple site. I need this one up and done already
Me: it'll be worked on when I get paid for my previously worked time for you.
Client: but that was a month ago. I don't understand why you are asking for payment now
Me: because you never paid me for last months work!!
Client: but its may now
Me: holy shit, -clients name-, I know very well what month it is and dont need a lesson. I also know better than to work for free. I have bills to pay just like you and everyone else so until you have paid the last invoice, I'm not lifting a finger for you. That includes answering your calls
Client: oh well why didnt you just say that to begin with
Motherfucking fuck people are horrid and dumb and make me violent6 -
It looks like those who say "I don't use Chrome, I use Firefox" or "I use duckduckgo instead of Google" are like vegans.
No one gives a flying fuck if you're a vegan or you use Firefox.
Yes, many of us use Firefox, ddg, Altavista, Netscape and FreeBSD but there is no need to remind us at every opportunity you do so.
Do whatever you want to but we don't care and probably won't judge you.40 -
Reviewing coworker's code:
Me: I see you're doing a convoluted sort for every element twice to get your two lists in sync... 😐
CoWorker: Yeah. *straight face, no regrets* That's the only way to do this.
Me:... Uh... No? You can just manage one list with a simple struct and then use the the standard sort.
Coworker: Yeah sure I know. But it'll take time. We don't have time.
Me: *aghast* This is embarrassingly bad code!
Coworker: Don't worry, later on I'll use a hashmap for it. But this needs to be pushed now.
Me: *to myself, no you don't need a hashmap*
Okay, you do you but I can't back you on this. It isn't going to take a lot of time to correct it.
Next day.
Coworker: Hey can you review my code again?
Me: You've made the changes already? *in a bored tone, knowing that they wouldn't have changed shit*
Coworker: No this is a different file. Our manager agrees that we can worry about performance later.
Me: Sure. *😀🔨🔨*
Few weeks pass by:
QA: The operation takes absurdly long time to complete even with the smallest data. Ten minutes for X is unacceptable.
Me: Who would've known? ☺️21 -
One day my boss called me in to his office. "I need you to sort Bernie out".
Bernie? "Oh, you don't know about Bernie!"
Turns out Bernie was a Windows 2000 server running SQL 2000 that had all sorts of antique applications and SSIS packages running on it. Nobody was sure what it did, or if it was even still alive, but nobody was game to just switch it off.
So, after 2 months of chasing down source code, analysing it, looking for non-existent documentation, I was finally able to say.
Bernie's dead. You can bury him.13 -
*In teams meeting with client*
Manager: Yes we can do all of that and it will be actioned very quickly. We will make all of these feature requests top priority. We will set aside everything we are currently working on in order to get this done!
Dev: ...Are you writing any of this down?
Manager: I don't need to, I always remember everything!
Dev: Just so you are aware, I'm not writing anything down. You're going to need to create a ticket with requirements spelled out for each one of these promises you're making otherwise they won't get actioned by the team.
Manager: I know that!
Dev: ...
*Later that day*
Ticket Title: Action client feature requests TOP PRIORITY!!!
Ticket Description: *empty*
Dev: ...13 -
Being a programmer on a non-tech startup company is not too bad. That means aside from coding:
- You have to check if the office printer works
- You need to figure out why the phone lines aren't ringing
- You have to teach a stupid colleague on how to unzip a file
- When they give you a task, they'll say that it's "not urgent", but, they just "need it by tomorrow"
- You have to be a "mind-reader" because if something goes wrong, they don't know how to describe what's going on. Or probably, they're just too lazy being specific. They'll just say, "Hey, I have a problem.", and you will be like "What problem? Your dog is sick? You shit your pants? You lost your faith in God? Fuck what?"
- You don't have a time to "focus", because everyone interrupts you for just about anything related to "technology". Yeah, because you're the IT guy
- You always have learned and applied the latest practices/stacks, but no one gives a fuck
- You will start to re-think your life and devrants make you feel better9 -
Do you have a spare usb phone cable?
I have but I'm using it to charge my phone
Do you have a spare laser pointer for my presentation?
Sorry, I don't
Do you have a spare mouse?
No :)
Sometimes things become a little weird
Do you have a spare keyboard?
No sorry. :/
Do you have a spare monitor?
:/
Do you have a spare computer?
what?
Do you have a spare mac?
>:(
Do you have two spare computers and one printer for each? Would be nice for the conference that we are going to hold tomorrow if someone need to print.
What's wrong with you people. I'm just a developer, not a fucking warehouse9 -
One of the morons said today that we should use C because you don't need to "apply logic" in Python. Everything is automated in python. Fucking morons............
It doesn't ends here. One of the "9 pointers gang" student raised an objection. I was happy untill he said that there is no boolean datatype in C. I literally shouted "Shut up, morons. There is a whole fucking library dedicated to it." in a class of 60 students.
Don't know how I survived 3 years here. And more importantly, don't know how will I survive my next year.
P.S.: the 9 pointer guy who raised the objection, once asked me whether chrome is developed and maintained by Google?
15 -
> in da zone, headphones beating, caffeine rushing through my veins, snack-stack at 75%, code and commands flowing like campaign promises, I'm one with the keyboard... I can feel it ~(◉_◉)~
roomie: Hey J! J!
me: ಠ_ಠ I'm kinda busy, what do you want?
roomie: Dude don't forget to pick up bla bla bla
me: Okay
> Headphones back on, feeling the h4ckx0r fire resurge through my gut like a majestic phoenix (not to be confused with taco tuesday gut fire)
roomie: J...J! dude also make sure bla bla bla
me: ಠ╭╮ಠ I know, you don't need to be so specific with me.
> Headphones on...about to hit play again...
roomie: Dude do you happen to know bla bla bla
(ಥ﹏ಥ)
(ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻
FUCK! just tell me everything at once so I can go back to ignoring you and the irrelevant world around me!
I hate when people do this.8 -
I don't get it
My brain does not have the capacity to understand it
How the fuck does my colleague manage to write 12 classes/interfaces for something so stupidly simple??
Two classes, a hand full of functions, done.
Why do you need this level of abstraction?
To mock the interfaces in unit tests? The unit tests you didn't write because "they're not necessary"?
No one will be able to understand this clusterfuck of a module even though it's entire purpose is "read number and write number elsewhere"...21 -
COMPANIES DON'T NEED FUCKING BLOCKCHAIN YOU CAN JUST MANAGE IT YOURSELF. THE WHOLE FUCKING POINT OF BLOCKCHAIN IS SO NO ONE HAS CONTROL AND IF YOU MAKE A BLOCK CHAIN THAT YOU CONTROL THEN WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT.2
-
It's fine if you're 'not good with computers' and need help. Ask me politely and sure I'll see how I can help and teach you what you need so that you can do it yourself in the future.
It's not fine, however, if you refuse to fucking learn after the millionth time I've taught you how to do the exact same thing because 'It's too hard' and 'I won't understand anyway'. And then proceed to call me a bad and ungrateful friend because I can't come to your rescue the very second you need me and don't seem 1000% enthusiastic to help at 1am in the morning when I'm still doing my own work.
Sure, I'm the 'tech person' amongst our friends. I *do* understand the frustration you experience when something isn't working. But that doesn't mean I'm obligated to be your 24/7 IT support, while listening to your complaints of how I was probably the one who fucked it up in the first place when I helped fixed your phone/laptop last time (for the record, this was *never* the case).
UGHHHHHHHH
ps: I just found this community and I love it already! Thought this mental rant I had earlier would fit right in lol
(Also, sorry English isn't my first language D:7 -
I got this one from my senior PM, You...go to your seat and get me a software...that would create other Softwares for me...so that I don't need to have explain every time I need something to be built...to people like you...i will use that and build for my own. I told him...Sir you can use an IDE.3
-
I hate all of these rants about JavaScript being a terrible language.
In reality, it's one of the easiest languages to work with. This makes it easier for new programmers to write messy code, but is it the language's fault?
People get mad about the things that happen when you multiply "undefined" and a string...what do you expect?
You also have the freedom to choose from a variety of tools the community has created to solve existing problems. People just don't realize that they don't *have* to learn everything, you just learn as you need them.
Don't blame JavaScript for you bad programming, terrible type conversion needs, and great tooling.23 -
Just gonna leave this here.
Don't complain if you refuse to speak up. You don't like how something is going? But you don't want to do something about it? Then shut. The. Fuck. Up.
Getting sick of these fucking coworkers who bitch and whine about everything they don't like but when given the opportunity to speak up and voice their shit they just fucking clam up.
Context: nobody was saying anything during today's retrospective but were talking shit about the project the whole sprint. Gee I wonder why NOTHING FUCKING CHANGES. I'm the only one outside of our product owner and tech lead who even speaks out on problems/issues during the sprint. This dev team I'm on is just.. urgh.
They expect me to have their back, but they don't have mine. For months I've been carrying them. Fine. Enough is enough. The next time they need help from me they'll just get the obligatory "have you googled it because I don't have an answer" response.7 -
Guy I work with: Hey can I borrow you for a minute
Me: sure. What do you need?
Him: so this is a project me an the other dev worked on
Me thinking: Well I know he did it all and sent you the project so don't tell me you worked on it
Him: so we use it to do this and this and send an email to this new account I made because (2 minute explanation)
Me thinking: I don't care. Just tell me what your issue is! I already know what it is and does from what you told me the last time when you showed me. Which took an hour of my time.
Him: so he sent me this code which is called <Descriptive name> and in the method we have variables call <descriptive name> and it returns a <variable name>
Me thinking: You mother fucker! I don't give a shit what your method is named, what it the variable names are, and you don't need to read through every line of code to me! Just from the descriptive name you just said I know what it does! What the fuck is your issue!?
Him: we also have these other methods. This one is called <Descriptive name> which does...
Me: are you fucking seriously going to read me your code line by line and tell me what you named your variables AGAIN!?
Him: and we named this one <descriptive name>
Me: you mother fucker...
Him: and it calls this stored procedure. (Literally opens the stored procedure and shows me) and it is called...which has parameters called... And it is a select query that inserts
45 minutes later after he finishes explaining all 3 pages of his code and his 5 stored procedures that the other dev wrote...
Him: So anyway, back to this method. I need to know where to put this method. The other dev said to put it in this file, but where do you think I should put it in here? Should I place it after this last one or before it?
Me thinking: You fucking wasted my fucking time just to ask where to place your mother fucking method that the other dev sent to you in a project with only 3 files, all less than 500 lines of code with comments and regions that actually tell you what you should put there and 5 small stored procedures that were not even relevant to your issue! Why the fuck did you need to treat me as a rubber ducky which would fly away if you did have one because you didn't have an issue, you just didn't know where to put your fucking code! FUCK YOUR METHOD!
Me: Where ever you want
Him: Well I think it won't work if I placed it before this method.
I walked away after that. What a waste of time and an insult to my skills and really unchallenging. He's been coding for years and still can't understand anything code related. I'm tired if helping him. Every time he needs something he always has to read through and explain his shit just to ask me things like this. One time he asked me what to name his variable and another his project. More recently he asked why he couldn't get his project he found online to work. The error clearly stated he needed to use c# 7. His initial solution was to change his sql connection string. 😑
He should just go back to setting up computers and fixing printers. At least then he would never be in the office to bug me or the other dev with things like this.7 -
I used to work in a call center for a local hospital.
One night, all of our lines are swamped. Literally no time for a break between phone calls, +15 minute wait times. I answer the next call:
Me: "Its a marvelous Monday at AskIT, how may I help you?"
Doctor: "This is Dr. [Noone Care]. I need you to fix my password now."
Me: "Absolutely! You should be able to enter a new password now."
Doctor: "MY HANDS ARE NOT FOR PASSWORDS, MY HANDS ARE FOR SURGERY!"
😩 So glad I don't work for doctors anymore. Oh and the best part is, he had selected the general phone queue, rather than the doctor queue (~3 minute wait time instead).7 -
Boss: agrees to unreasonable deadlines.
Team: misses deadlines because they're unreasonable.
Boss: "you just don't understand how important the deadline is"
He legit thinks the only reason we fall behind, is because we dont care. Not because we're doing stuff that hasn't been done before, and need to tech ourselves everything as we go.
Also, he's not a programmer, he's a salesman... and he runs the company like one too.
Anyone looking to hire a VR/AR developer?5 -
It's not motivation that you need, it's dedication.
You see, motivation is temporary thing, that sudden flow of dopamine running through your body that you get after some success or after being admired by someone or simply after good sleep and nice morning shower.
But the problem with motivation is that it's just temporary thing. After a while (hours, days, if you're lucky weeks) it just wears off and you're left pretty much where you started.
But there's one thing that remains and that's persistent. It's called DEDICATION. If you dedicate yourself to something, you are willing to do it no matter what it takes from you. Even if it frustrates you along the way or makes you angry, you wanna be able to say "It's finished. I'm satisfied with it" after you finish it. You are willing to crawl to the finishing line but no matter the obstacle, just knowing that you're getting closer to the finishing line is gonna motivate you. Your dedication is gonna become motivation generator. And that's the key. You need the passion and dedicate yourself to it.
But hey, sound simple but we all know the struggle. Sometimes it's even hard to recognize dedication from motivation. And sometimes you just go "Ok. Fuck it. I'm done" and leave it and that's okay AS LONG AS you get back to it after a while. As long as the inner you, the dedicated you that got you here in the first place, goes "Dude, it's tough. But it's alright, we refreshed a bit and now we're gonna fucking make it" (nope, I don't have schizophrenia) and you listen and get back at it.
Dedication is tough. It's about self control and understanding yourself deeply and balancing your mind. It's nirvana of success. It's the ultimate balance. But you can get there. If you want. Badly.
TL;DR You need dedication, not motivation. Punish yourself and reward yourself. Not too harsh and not too much. Just so that you don't lose track.
But most of all, GOOD LUCK YOU AMAZING FUCKS!5 -
Christmas-rant:
So I'm having a nice dinner with my in-laws when one of them turns to me: "So, what I want is a website with a link on it to another website, you can do this right?". Seems overly complicated to achieve this result, I know, but she had a fair reason for it. So, I start walking her through what she would need for it. "First thing, let's buy a domain name." "I have to buy these??! I don't believe you, I know people that did not pay for this!" "Well, that's technically impossible except for certain subdomains", I respond politely. "No, I don't believe you!"
So far my happy helping christmas mood.
Merry christmas y'all!16 -
"Can you do this?"
Sure, give me the information I need...
"We don't have all of it yet"
So I can't do it then
"Well when can you do it"
When you get the information
"Do you need *all* of it"
Well, it's either I do half a job and waste my time, or get it all done in one shot
"The client wants it tomorrow"
When will we have the information?
"We don't know"
Well they aren't having it tomorrow then, are they...
Sales people... don't care *how* things work, as long as they get a tick against their name to show they've sold something...3 -
Gotta love well meaning juniors with completely misplaced intentions.
Nathan: "Hey, do you want a quick 5 minute demo of the code we've changed to move to library version x?"
Almond: "Sure (I wasn't that fussed about moving to library x, but he seemed determined and there's some nice to haves with bumping the version, so we approved it.)"
Nathan: "Cool, so we have this built here, and..."
Almond: "...wait, that's not our CI system!"
Nathan: "Yeah, so I moved to a new CI system too because we couldn't get that working in the old one"
Almond: "...right, we'll need to discuss that, because..."
Nathan: "Sure, we also moved the templating engine as well as there were more examples using this one with library x"
Almond: "...yeah, so I don't think we're looking to switch the templating engine because..."
Nathan: "...and you guys also need to change a bunch of your code as it's all broken since we put the new version in, most of the tests fail..."
Great... so we've got a branch that breaks a bunch of code, switches the templating engine to one we don't want to use, and switches the CI to the one the company is trying to actively migrate away from...
Almond: "We're going to need longer than 5 minutes. I'll put something in the calendar."
🤦♂️😬😠8 -
$work: Ey @Root, make this super simple thing.
$work: No, not like that.
$work: It also needs to do A, B, and C.
$work: No, not there. You should build it somewhere else, but I won't tell you where.
$work: You need to build out F and G, too.
$work: What do you mean you don't have the data? Just ask support drone #3. (who directs me to #2, and that one to #8 who doesn't know, and that one to #12 who won't answer)
$work: Why can't I do K, Y, or S? You should be able to infer these from the mind of whoever wrote the ticket by its wording, despite no mention of them whatsoever.
$work: Are you done yet? It's a super simple ask!7 -
FUCKING FUCK JAVASCRIPT AND IT'S FUCKING 10000 DEVDEPENDENCIES.
LET ME FUCKING CODE AND WRITE TESTS AND NOT SPEND FUCKING ONE FUCKITY FUCK WEEK TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FUCKING MAKE MOCHA AND KARMA PLAY WITH FUCKING ES6 CODE YOU FUCKING FUCKTARD PIECE OF SHIT TECH.
I NO LONGER FUCKING KNOW WHICH PACKAGES I FUCKING NEED AND WHICH I FUCKING DON'T FUCKING DUMBFUCK FUCKWIT OPEN AND HACKABLE MY BROWN ASS PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY STACK.
8 -
Best part of working from home? Oh boy, here I go
1. NO COMMUTE !! Fuck public transport. I can just grab my laptop straight to my bed, get comfortable and work in whatever posture I wish to.
2. Relaxation and peace of mind. The local park, library, football ground. I can go anywhere to get work done. All I need is my phone and laptop.
3. Better food - I can cook my own food. Dieting actually works by eating home-made food and not the fried bullshit we eat outside.
4. No office politics - Remote working means you don't have to think about being a circle and getting liked or not. Get your work done and that's it.
5. No "Extra" Activities - We all know HRs are just bored af people making employees have "fun" activities just to push a "culture" agenda on LinkedIn. Umm no thanks.
6. No toxicity - Well, this one is a doozie, you don't get workplace toxicity but you do get home toxicity. People assuming that you stay in ur room all day and do nothing. I'd still take home toxicity though.
7. If there is no work, I don't have to pretend that I am working and hiding my screen from my boss. I can just play video games in that time.
8. Option to start a side-hustle. You have more chances to retain some energy after your shift to start investing/putting time into something that can make you extra cash.
9. Worldwide opportunities - Because of WFH, I work with clients from Netherlands, Estonia, London and Cayman Islands. It never would have happened if I was in an office job.
10. Only work, no extra bullshit - be it smoke breaks, casual tea, conferences, work summits etc. None of that and I don't want it.
11. Your errands get done - Need to go to the dentist at 10 am? You can do that. Need to pick up your kid at 3 pm? You can do that. You need 5 pm time dedicated to go the gym? You can do that.
In conclusion, I absolutely vouch for WFH and would never take WFO for as long as possible.
WFH FTW !!!9 -
Client: hey ***, happy birthday can you help me fixing....
Me thinking: hell no, i deal with yall fuckers 364 days a fucking year and yall can't leave me the hell alone for one cocksucking day. I need this one damn day a year not dealing with yall assholes where i don't snap and drive 300 fucking miles to not drive a nail in a broomstick and drive it up your fucking asdls6 -
When the client says "I just need a really easy edit, shouldn't take more than a few minutes."
*in my head* "Oh really? Can you do it? No? Then don't tell me how easy it is going to be to find the one line of code I need to edit out of thousands of lines in hundreds of files."
-
It was friday evening and almost everyone in office had left. I was assigned a bug related to some of my code changes. I called my senior to help me debug (has three years of experience, whereas me having only one year exp, who is also a very good friend of mine *always helps in debugging*).
So the code goes
switch (someEnum) {
case One:
doSomething()
// no break
case Two:
t.x = someEnum
break
case Three:
.....
}
I had recently added new enun One and was reciting the code logic to him as we were looking through code.
Him: Hey you haven't set t.x in case One. How did you miss that?
Me: No look, I haven't but a break on it. It will go ahead and set it in next case.
Him: What are you talking about? if the someEnun is One why would it execute Two case. Lets copy that line up there and try it locally.
Me: No no no wait. Are you saying that groovy doesn't need breaks in switch (Me being new to groovy but good with Java).
Him: Why would you need break in switch case even in Java?
Me: *stares at him*
Him: I'm going to execute a psvm right freaking now.
Me: *while he writes the psvm* Why did you think there were breaks in switch in any code?
Him: Shut up. *writes psvm code cursing me everywhere*
*executes code*
No way. Really??
Me: Tell me why do you think are there breaks in switch.
Him: I though they were to get you out of switch block and not execute the default block.
Me: So were you coding switch until now without breaks?
Him: I don't know man. I'm starting to doubt all the switches I have ever written.
Me: Anyway that's not the problem, so moving on.
*a while later*
Him: If a interviewer would ask me how would you rate yourself in Java. I would be like "Well I worked on various projects for 3 years in Java, but didnt know why we put breaks in switch. So you figure it out yourself."
One of the best moments in office.8 -
Me: Hey Guys we've been working on this application(project 1) for 4 months and i think we're almost done.
Owner of Company(Not My Boss): CooCook4Choo we moving you to project 2, forget about the previous one.
2 months go by, project is completed.
Boss: I've got another project for you
Me: Awesome!
1 month later...
PM: We're moving you back to project 1
Me: Why?
PM: Our senior dev resigned, we only have junior Devs and we need a lot of help before deployment next month.
Me: Why am i moving back to a project i was taken off of
PM: Where an agile company and you will be moved off many projects
Me: **Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!* Ok i'll need documentation of everything that happened in the past three months, the current issue, what the current sprint revolves around and A demo of what has been added.
PM: Relax, I've got a lot of work myself, you will get them soon.
2 days later, still don't have what i need, PM is on vacation.
Me: Guess i don't have any work to do.3 -
Had to setup 7 HP laptops today for a small hackathon.
Install windows 10...
just shout in the room and hope all cortanas hear the same answer.
done after a couple minutes.
Windows 10 rules.
...
This story could be over but no, have a plot twist.
All pcs connected to our wifi network as we tried to install Chrome ( cause edge sucks), realized it takes hours to install.
someone drawing internet over here?!
our network wasn't that bad usually.
opens windows store on one laptop by accident.
42 downloads running.
Yep on all of them.
what were they downloading?
candy crush... bubble witch saga...mcaffee.
spent about 4h uninstalling bloatware and teaching windows not to reinstall it over and over again...
Microsoft sucks...
and I didn't even mention the "tell us why you think you don't need McAfee premium protection pl0x" and "you really sure you don't want to try edge as default browser? is really fast and stuff" dialog fields...9 -
Old boss story. This guy was nice but a terrible boss. Also relevant, he has a background in IT so should know better.
Him: So when you wanna check a password is correct you just unhash it in the database?
Me: *facepalm*
Me: Hey we should be doing unit and integration testing at a minimum to lower bugs.
Him: We don't need those, we're not a bank. If a problem comes up we just fix it and push to production.
(A while later)
Him(in email): Why do we keep getting bugs reported. Don't you devs test your code.
I was mildly annoyed at that one.
Him: We're always over budget on projects, how can we fix this.
Me: What if we increase our quotes.(technically there are other ways as well but not really possible at that time)
Him: We can't do that, clients won't want to pay.
Me: *finishing off my handover as I'm leaving for a new job*
Him: Wow you do a lot of work2 -
1 - Please hack his/her facebook account for me.
2 - (at home) I used to block wifi access by mac filtering and if there's legit server down and wifi isn't working, everyone blames me.
(I am freelancer and mostly work from home)
3 - almost all of my relatives think I don't work.
4 - I am first choice for everyone's phone, PC and hardware repair.
This one is classic
GET A REAL JOB, you need to go out in the field for work.5 -
cw: I need a server to put my node backend
me: sure, I'll run a docker container for you
cw: nice, I've never worked with docker but I learn quickly, I'm already reading the Docker file docs
me: no wait, you don't need to learn anything, you'll be inside the container, so you only need an ssh connection and that's it
cw: this Dockerfile stuff is really complicated, it'll take me a while, but it's ok you don't have to worry, I like learning new things
me: you won't need that, just imagine it's a cloud server with Ubuntu installed, you only have to use it, I'll put node, git and ssh there for you
cw: ok got it, I'll have to learn the commands to run the docker, I'm on windows but I can use PowerShell and stuff I'll figure it out
me: ...
cw: ssh is a linux command right? does it have a push or publish option? how do you upload files there
me: ...you can use a ftp client but you'll need ssh to run the node server
cw: ok, I'm almost done with the Dockerfile, I only need to add git and nodejs, I'm starting to understand this thing...
me thinking: yeah keep doing that, you're such a crack, such a quick learner...
This son of a bitch is either a retard or is doing it on purpose and laughing at me the whole time, making my life so miserable, but I'm about to go insane with this dude, I'm proud of how I've been able to control myself, BUT ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL LOSE MY COOL AND FORCE THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO DRINK A BIG POT OF BOILING, SALTY AND STINKING VOMIT WITH A SIDE OF STEAMING DIARRHEAL GREEN DOG SHIT WITH WHITE CHOCOLATE CHIPS WHILE I PUT MY OLD CRT MONITOR TO GOOD USE BY BEATING HIS FUCKING HEAD WITH IT!!!3 -
Boss: Client wants those stockphotos for the frontpage.
Me: ok. Please license them and let me know. I will upload them to the page.
Boss: How does that work then?
Me: you have to buy the five credit package. Here is the link...
Boss: (no response)
...few days later...
Boss: please remember to upload those images...
Me: well ok. Did you buy them?
Boss: isn't that your thing?
Me: I don't understand. You had all the info. You new where to buy them. You knew what images to buy since the client sent the preview versions. What do you need? ...and why didn't you tell me that you were waiting for my input? I was the last one to reply to this conversation.
Boss: i don't want to buy the wrong images.
Me: just buy the ones the client chose.
Boss: I don't want to look up the email he sent them in.
Me: I don't understand. I directly replied to that mail. It is in the same conversation.
Boss: ok.
...day later...
Boss sends me mail with images attached.
Boss: are those the right images?
Me: well yes. Those are the ones the client sent. I don't have more information than you.
(Me looking at the attachments and finding them in the smallest resolution available.)
Me: why did you download the images in the smallest resolution? It does not make any difference in price.
Boss: well I thought they were not needed in a bigger size.
Me: why do you make my options intentionally smaller? I am the guy doing frontend.
..please give me the login info for the stock account so I can download the images in a better resolution.8 -
Tl;dr
Longest Rant I've written so far.
How to manage a school (by out school director):
Did this student do something spezial to emphasize the school?
-No: Ignore him
-Yes: Did the student achieve this with the help of this schools staff?
-No: Take all the credit
-Yes: Hahaha, just a joke, nobody receives help from the school. Goto -No
Q: Should this class get the 5 day trip, they've been waiting for the whole year?
Director: No.
Q: But they don't even participate in other trips just to go there.
D: No
(Good thing she did not have the last word there)
Does the school director need this one week trip to india, just to talk once about stuff, you can talk about via email, to a sponsor?
D: "Of course I deserve it"
D: "We need faster internet in this school"
Network admins: "But it won't be of any use, if the network can't handle it. We'll need better pcs (and network conponents) on top of that"
D: "No, bot enough money available for that one." *browses email with IPad paid by school money*
Teacher: "I want to realize project xy with the students. We'll need around 1200€ (for 20 people)."
D: "Can place xy at our school to as advertise?"
T: "No, but it's be a valuable le-"
D: "600 at most."
(Again denied by people who aren't fcking assholes. We got 1500€, so 300€ per group)
D: So what makes you think you can teach informatics in this school"
Applicant: "Well, I'm friends with one of your teacher here. We went to university together, where I learn't nothing about informatics and I don't even understand the principles of this subject"
D: "Close enough. Hired, you can teach them all the theory stuffy. You don't have to prepare that yourself another teacher has done so. Just read it from his documents."
*In class with the mentioned teacher talking about Threads*
*Le wild code appears*
while (doStuff())
System.out.println ("Thread working...");
System.out.println ("Thread terminated");
T: "... and most importantly, when you have done all the work be sure to terminate the thread with 'System.out.println ("Thread terminated");'"
Should this teacher be allowed to participate in this seminar about burnouts?
D: "No, I can't afford paying the supplenze."
Staff: "We need to talk with the director about this."
S: "Not in her office. The cafeteria maybe"
*Not in the cafeteria either*
S: "Seems like she didn't come to achool today. Let's try tomorrow"
(^ Stuff that happens almost daily. Screw semicolons. I see her only once a month at most)
*Student send 5000 emails by accident* (Shit happens 😂😅😂😅)
D: "You gonna work here for a full afternoon"
*Student arrives for his punishment*
Staff: "Good that you're here. Do this real quick."
*10 min. Later*
Student: "Done"
Staff: "Well, we have no more work to give you, so you might as well leave"
DONE!!! Good job coming so far.
Our school is supposed to be the best, but internally it's one big meme.4 -
last semester i was working as assistant professor teaching Basic OOP Subject. and my girl happens to be enlisted as my student. One day she was late for my class and get in without a permission. so i ask her
Me : Why don't you knock the door?
Her : Why should i ?
Me : did i give you my permission ?
Her : Public class doesn't need permission. our class is not Private.
oh my god i'm so in love with her2 -
One of the biggest reality checks you will run into when starting your first dev related job - and which they don't teach you about in school - is that a lot of the time will be spent working with other people's code, and rewriting it into "your own" is rarely an option.
You might be super into making things, but not everyone manages to maintain that same spark while taking over a 15 year old project with fundamental issues that have to be triaged "for now" because you need a hotfix on this other specific thing out in prod before lunch.
There are no gods now. They left the company years ago and nobody knows why they used the windows registry as a user repo.3 -
I hate when someone throws at me some task all of sudden with a tight deadline.
Wednesday was one of those days.
manager: we want to remove all the offices because of our tight budget this year (multimillionaire company, lol), everyone will use office 365;
me: ahn... ok, but everything was already tested? Some macros, routines, old documents can be a big problem, as far I know (I don't use M$ at home, servers are Linux, so I really don't know about that). I can do some tests, only will need some real documents to make sure everything will do fine;
manager: yeah, yeah, everything will be fine, the high management already decided, don't worry, just remove the offices in the company, ok?;
me: alright...
*me deploys the remotion script in every f*cking machine*
48 hours later...
manager: well... everyone is complaining about the office 365, random complains, can you attend all the calls and reinstall if you can't solve the problem?
WTFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!!!!!
[RAGES INTERNALLY]
5 -
When the last battery of one of your phones die. And you don't want waste more money with a new one.
But you need to perform a backup.
2 -
I need some advice: How could you stop laughing at a meeting? Help!
Yesterday, in a meeting with the development team, my boss accidentally wrote "Puto System" on the board (of course, I cannot post the real name of the project). For those who don't speak spanish, "Puto" means "asshole".
Oh, I laughed so fucking hard XD Well, we continued with the meeting, but I couldn't stop laughing, and then, I was going to ask a question about one of my tasks, and accidentally said "hard" instead of "boubt" (in spanish "dura" instead of "duda") and all of us laughed again.
At the time I'm writing this post I can't remember that without laughing, help! I need to get serious :'v13 -
This one crazy:
We made an app for our client to scan some parcels via barcode.
They just created a ticket, for complaining that it's hard to scan in the storage room, because it's so dark. They are like sometimes we need to use a torge to scan. Can you increase the contrast of the app or something to scan better in darker place.
Did not know what to answer, but my thoughts were like: why the fuck you don't put enough light in that room?! 🤔🤷🏽♂️6 -
Once I've worked in a start-up located in an engineering university "incubator", so we had a lot of engineer-to-be students applying for part-time jobs.
One of these kids was hired by my boss who labeled him "highly technical, very skilled in IT".
One day, while very busy with my own upcoming release, I had to help him finding a bug in his (horrible) code.
Me: Oh, that's easy, you need to load the image from the parent directory
Guy: ...
Me: You know how to do this, right? You're 1 exam away from being a computer engineer
Guy: ...
Me: Ok, ok, don't worry. Just type "../" right before the path
The guy starts typing, literally, "dotdotslash" into the path.
I immediately stopped him, almost crying. Then, I asked him to go for a walk.
"Don't mind about your bug, I'll take care"3 -
This is what f*ckin' grinds my gears to the max...
Today a family member asked me to help them with online banking so I agreed because they are really not computer literate.
I don't use the bank they use so the whole online banking website interface was new to me and I had to figure out where some things were.
The family member that I was helping was getting really annoyed because it was taking long (by the way it took me less than 15 min to finish helping them).
As I was assisting them the f*ckin' idiot had the nerve to tell me, and I quote, "I thought you were good in IT. You can't even assist me with online banking".
Honestly, WTF?!?!?! 😡😡
How does one even respond to such...
Anyways... This is just one simple example regardless of what field you are in IT, you NEED to be good with whatever tech gets thrown at you.
So irritating....😡😣15 -
I seriously can't get why people don't get user experience right my designer just put in two search bars, one in the at the top of the home page and one I the header .... why do you need both 😒
COMMON SENSE PLEASE3 -
!rant
Trust no one.
The internet is not your friend, until you find stackoverflow and you get down voted.
That rm -rf / won't make you server faster.
System32 is needed.
Yes, that is a package manager, you don't need to write more ccode
Do not write commets on languages that only you speak, the team does not speak in latin.
Paint is the best engineering tool.
Keep a stress ball nearby.
Your client is always right, unless they mess with your coding skills.
True story.2 -
Red flags in your first week of your software engineering job 🚩
You do the first few days not speaking to anyone.
You can't get into the building and no one turns up until mid day.
The receptionist thinks you're too well dressed to work in this building, thinks you're a spy and calls security on you.
You are eating alone during lunch time in the cafeteria
You have bring your own material for making coffee for yourself
When you try to read the onboarding docs and there aren't any.
You have to write the onboarding docs.
You don't have team mates.
When you ask another team how things are going and they just laugh and cry.😂😭
There's no computer for you, and not even an "it's delayed" excuse. They weren't expecting you.
Your are given a TI PC, because "that's all we have", even though there's no software for it, and it's not quite IBM compatible.
You don't have local admin rights on your computer.💀
You have to buy a laptop yourself to be able to do your job.
It's the end of the week and you still don't have your environment set up and running.
You look at the codebase and there are no automated tests.
You have to request access every time you need to install something through a company tool that looks like it was made in 2001.
Various tasks can only be performed by one single person and they are either out sick or on vacation.
You have to keep track of your time in 6 minute increments, assigned to projects you don't know, by project numbers everyone has memorised (and therefore aren't written down).
You have to fill in timesheets and it takes you 30 minutes each day to fill them in because the system is so clunky.🤮
Your first email is a phishing test from the IT department in another country and timezone, but it has useful information in it, like how to login to the VPN.
Your second email is not a phishing test, but has similar information as the first one. (You ignore it.)
Your name is spelled wrong in every system, in a different way. 2 departments decide that it's too much trouble, and they never fix the spelling as long as you work there. One of them fixes it after you leave, and annoys you for a month because you haven't filled out the customer survey.6 -
Don't you hate it when your co-worker does dumb things, but thinks it's the "clean code" way?
The following is a conversation between me and a co-worker, who thinks he's superior to everyone because he thinks he's the only one who read the Clean Code series. Let's call him Bill.
Me: I think the feature we need is quite simple, our application needs to call this third party API, parse the response and pass it to the next step. Why do you need to bury everything under an abstraction of 4 layers?
Bill: bEcAuSe It'S dEcOuPlInG, aNd MaKe ThE cOdE tEsTaBlE
Me: I don't know man, you only need to abstract the third party api client, and then mock it if you want. Some interfaces you define makes no sense at all. For example, this interface only has 1 concrete implementation, and I don't think it will ever have another. Besides, the concrete implementation only gets the input from the upper layer and passes it down the lower layer. Why the extra step? I feel like you're using interface just for the sake of interface.
Bill: PrOgRaMmInG tO iNtErFaCe, NoT cOnCrEtE iPlEmEnTaTiOn!!!
Me: You keep saying those words, I don't think they mean what you think they mean. But they certainly do not mean that every method argument must be an interface
Bill: BuT uNcLe BoB blah blah blah...
Me: *gives up all hope*14 -
@Apple iPadOS an iOS teams: you puZies.
You release one buggy iOS / iPadOS after another, each piling on features and bugs, without fixing crowd documented long standing defects.
But what really pisses me off is when you don't have the balls to own up to your mistakes. This is at least the 3rd time you have re-released an iOS / iPadOS update under the same version number. This time it is 14.5.1
I have iPadOS 14.5.1 installed and the iPad is now telling me I need to update to 14.5.1. Just own up to it, you released buggy shit and you need to release another bug fix days after... call it 14.5.2. Call it like it is and we respect you. Try to hide it and you lose our respect, you pussies.
If Microsoft did one thing right, they defined the release sequencing:
X.Y.Z
Changing X means rewrite the manual it is so new and improved (🖕🏻 you Adobe and FileMaker)
Changing Y means it is an update with more features than bug fixes but not a generational change that constitutes a rewrite of anything (🖕🏻 you macOS team for bastardizing with 10.X.Y)
Changing Z means you fixed your stuff, we respect you for owning up to your mistakes.
Man-up Apple, grow some balls and stop confusing people with trying to cover up your screw ups. It's all about the Z.3 -
Outsourcing front-end for web is like playing russian roulette, but with 6 bullets in 6 chambers.
You shoot yourself in the balls (or ovaries)... HARD.
I don't know how you can develop in a complete nightmare of a SCSS file - 3500 lines of insanity.
This dev must have changed his mousewheel at least 50 times!
SERIOUSLY, why the fuck use SCSS when you piss everything into one single fucking file???
What drives me completely nuts is the fact that he even used an @import to include his custom.scss file... how many more IQ poins are needed to realize that you could SPLIT your spaghetti into smaller, sane files?
I need a whiskey...3 -
The worst boss and human being so far, still wondering how he keeps the company afloat. This was my first longterm developer job almost a decade ago and I was a student at that time. The application was an outlook plug in for a document management system.
Scene 1:
Boss: The processing is too slow. Make it faster.
Me: After analysis and profiling I can prove that the core (developed in VB6 by a physicist and autoconverted to VB.NET) is the bottleneck.
Boss: I don't care. Make it faster and don't touch the core.
Scene 2:
Boss: I want the app to behave in that way.
Me: This is not what we specified previously. Look here. Nonetheless, I would have to rewrite half of the plugin. Mind that it is an outlook plug in and we are restricted by outlook. If you want that, it would take XX days and we do not have enough time until release.
Boss: I don't care. Do it. And the deadline stays as it is.
Boss 2 weeks later: I don't like it.
Scene 3:
Me: To release in time I need more resources. I need at least one tester and another developer would be a huge plus. Also, I need a second PC for testing.
Boss: No.
2 weeks later:
Boss: why does it not work properly in outlook 2010? Didn't you test it?
Me: I could not. I have only outlook 2007. I asked for more resources and did not get them.
Boss: it's your fault. Bad work.
Scene 4:
*Me having failed multiple exams, stress at work, started to drink*
Boss: Don't you like working here?
Me: ...
Finale:
*Me getting written sick with severe depression*
Boss: fires me.
Me: Loses flat. Quits uni. Unemployed for 6 Months, one rejection after another (boss was phoned, that's sure). Moving back to parents. Sues boss. Gets money.
I still hate him and wish him the most painful experiences in life. Such people belong behind bars. But the justice isn't always served. One has to move forward and improve himself.3 -
Hey guys!
Been away for some time. Didn't have anything to tell tbh - until today.
As you may remember I started a new apprenticeship at big (and super cool) company. We develop software for various platforms.
I'm currently working on a plugin displaying some weatherdata. This plugin is supposed to be in 2 of our products. One is pretty nice but a pain in the ass to compile. The second one is a pure WTF. It's a web app with approximately half the functionality but 5x loading time (without demo data!) of the other product.
Well, today I learned why we have this loading time. They use I don't know how much different js frameworks and libraries for every single simple task. "It's easy and Facebook does it too. Besides that why are there frameworks if you could do it native?" HMMM LET ME GUESS BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE ARE FUCKING LAZY!?
Why do you need MULTIPLE frameworks for a simple web display!?3 -
Ah the wonders of working with non-technical people. 😤
I had a logistical problem. The SSD on my laptop crashed.
Me: No biggie just request new one.
Them: Sorry we don't have any on stock.
Me:Okey then give me a new laptop.
Them:Ok fine here you go.
Me:I specifically required 16 GB of RAM.
Them: ok here is an extra 8gb
Me: I need DDR 4 not DDR3
Them: don't have any. We will restock shortly.
A couple a days later a colleague requested 8gb DDR3 and got DDR 4.
The fuck is wrong with people. Can you not read?🤔🙄1 -
A recipe for COMPLETELY hacking me off - ask for help, pretend my advice is bollocks, then rephrase it as your own and follow it up with a smart arse comment.
"Almond, could you lend me a hand with this regex? I'm trying to match this particular group, but only if it doesn't have 'foo' after it."
"Sure, take a look at negative lookaheads - that sounds like it's exactly what you need"
"Nah that won't work for me, because I need to check for more than one character after it, I need to check for 'foo'"
"What? That doesn't make sense, you can..."
"Ah don't worry, I've found the answer by myself now, I can actually just add '?!' before the text I don't want to match and it'll do it - I'm fast becoming a regex expert here! Let me know if you want me to explain this to you"
DAHHHHHHH THAT IS A NEGATIVE LOOKAHEAD YOU CRETIN2 -
I am angry. Do you know why? It's a rhetorical question, because you don't know why I am angry, which is why I'm going to tell you why I'm so. I Followed my friend, " Jane Doe" ( you don't need to know her actual name) to this store in my town. Then these 14-15 years old girls came up to me, and started asking me about my braces. "Where'd you get it?
" How much did it cost ?"
I get these questions like almost every single, and it's annoying. 😒
This one question got me angry. "What 'if' her braces are fake?" A girl said whispering to her friend.
Fake??? My braces are realer than you could ever be, jealous bitch. I said that in my mind, I don't have the guts to say it out loud, besides these girls look like they could tear me to pieces, and I wanted no conflict. I walked away as soon as my friend got her stuffs from the store.
My friend couldn't help but to tease me that I'm a doormat. I guess she's right. 🤔☹😤😟😖26 -
Dev: The requirement is not clear. This seems to be a general usecase which you are thinking we might need but we won't actually need it.
Manager: You have to do it. This is the requirement. No other option. Don't ask any questions.
...... One week later....
Manager: Why is the team not open to me?1 -
Him: "I don't need source control, it's just another program that does unknown things on my source files. What if one day it stops working?? How do I get my files??"
Me: "you could say the same thing on 90% of the tools you use every day... Like when you restore npm packages by GUI"
him: "what are those? I don't use them"
Also him: "command line is vintage"2 -
FUCK YOU BUSINESS GUY
FUCK YOUR SCOPE CREEP
SOLO DEV AINT GIVING U 20 FEATURES IN ONE MOTHERFUCKING WEEK
Seriously, though. Being a solo full-stackq developer who can do both frontend (react, redux) and backend (feathers, node) does NOT mean you have twice the manpower to accomplish all of your shitty shit. Just because you have an idea does NOT mean I have to implement all of it. You don't even have a motherfucking specifications for me, yet you expect me to deliver shitloads of complete fucking feature in a fucking week. This is not a fucking joke. I am NOT your mother fucking tool. I need time to build my stack, design and perfect the interface. I don't want a shitty motherfucking product on my fucking portfolio.
*dies inside*
11 -
Guy studies programming for a year.
Guy: I am going to start this amazing project wanna help
Me: Sure what is it
Guy: ***Long story of a decent idea***
Me: Sure Ill help, what do you need me to do
Guy: Only a few functions
A few days later...
Guy: Hey I don't where to start or how I should do it can you help me with like THE WHOLE PROGRAM?
If you haven't gathered from this story. Don't be that one guy who has an idea but doesn't write or make a plan for it as your just going to waste other peoples energy and resources.8 -
Just saw a job ad for a company they were asking for one developer they wanted software developer x 7 and senior developer x 2.
How cheap is that? If you want to hire people do so but don't bundle them up, the description for what is required is funny too, I love how companies don't even know any standard way of asking for a specific role just blurt you need this this and this senior is that plus knows how to lead, cool.
Is this really a real requirement: "Visual Studio experience"?
Or is this just some piss take?2 -
Time to time I do some Hard- and Software repairs for neighbors and get some little money for it.
My neighbor let's call this one "Bob".
Bob has a new printer and a old one which is over 15 years old.
First: Holy shit 15 years old printer works still. WTF? Is this thing Hulk or what?
He ask me why he can't print a 128 site Doc with pictures in it from the old printer. It always stop at around 50 pages.
I tell him that it has only 32 MB Ram/Flash and can't print more. Before the Doc's were much smaller and could print that, but today you got files with more than 10 MB and on a printer it need's atleast 128 MB Ram to process and print it.
Guess what? One week later he asks me the same questions.
Why don't you print it on your new shiny expensive printer and why do you need still that OFFICE WAR VETERAN OF PRINTER to print it???
Seriously just use the new and better one!! Bob please give that old one a burial. He deservs it!5 -
Could people that want a stressbal that badly, just buy one?
Lets say the community grew with 15%. So if your rant first had to be "100 funny" to get 150++, you still need "100 funny" to get 175++.
Conclusion: you don't need to be more funny to get a stressbal. releived?
Besides that, it's free, be grateful3 -
I am a 29 year old with about 10 years of development experience under my belt. I have what most would consider to be a senior level job that pays well for someone who is self taught and never attended college or university.
Recently I have had the urge to obtain a formal education. I don't really have any need or reason to, but the urge is still there.
I know there are a ton of respectable and very talented devs without diplomas. Any of you ever regret not perusing a degree? Would you see any benefit it pursing one late in your career?18 -
The most important skill you can have is doing things without shame.
Shamelessly stay in your bed all weekends watching PewDiePie, never brushing your teeth, eating Doritos from under your pillow and peeing into empty Mountain Dew bottle if you feel like doing it.
Shamelessly spend your vacation sitting in the toilet with a laptop browsing reddit.
Shamelessly cut your product in half and ship it if you don't feel like perfecting it.
Shamelessly admit that you don't know something when you messed something up at work.
If you are a millennial like me, chances are your gen x parents told you that you have to be perfect / really good to succeed and to be worthy.
You know what? Fuck your parents then. Fuck my parents as well. Admitting this behavior wrong and actually giving up on living like something is always watching is the best thing you can do to your mental health.
I'm lazy. I write "any" here and there when they force me to do typescript at work. When I need a sidebar, I go and copy-paste that jquery snippet. I write like one article a month at best and I really want to say "fuck it" if I just don't feel like it.
You can always give up on everything and it's perfectly fine. This doesn't make you any kind of looser or something. You're perfectly fine.
Too bad I'm only beginning to master that.9 -
We need you to support IE7, IE8, IE9, IE10, Firefox, Chrome, and Opera. Also since the customer may one day want to use tablets start thinking about that. And if possible don't break IE6 compatibility.3
-
Episode 3 of this rant: https://devrant.io/rants/871827/...
Me: So I'm going an API call to Mastercard but they don't give us back CreditCard token to save.
Provider: Ya man you need to curl a request in your code to get the token...blahblahblah.... man you need to know these things they are not an easy things to be done, just paste curl code on MasterCard website into your code and it will work
Me: *ignores his shit talk and proceed to test*
*5 minutes later*
MasterCard Server: error.cause=INVALID_REQUEST&error.explanation=Invalid+credentials.&result=ERROR
Me: *calls provider and tell him*
Provider: Oh sorry, we need to enable this feature for your account.
devRant people please, give me one reason why I should not leave this field, and maybe also leave this life knowing there are this type of people alive.
Thank you :)2 -
Amazing API's and SEX!
Alright people, now that I've got your attention, I'm getting to the point where I need to plan and roll out a solid API for a project. So after reading a lot of the horror stories written here, What are the finer points of what makes an amazing API experience to use and integrate with over a poor one?
And don't say documentation (If you do explain why) 😁11 -
about 18 years of "oh, you made this? that's nice, but don't you want to do/learn something you'll actually get paid for instead?" as a reaction to any game prototype i made and showed them. until i got my first programming job. after that, silence and pretending the previous 18 years never happened (except the since forever running "joke" of "oh, you're not going to finish it anyway").
also, the one time i begged my (dtp/graphic artist) mom to draw me some backgrounds for my game, because at least one time in my life i wanted to not have to work on a thing completely alone, it took about three months of begging and convincing, upon which she finally said "ok, i'll try", and after another month, and one unfinished image that i estimate took about an hour to make, she told me "sorry, i don't think i can make what you need".
also some years of having "maximum 2 hours of computer time per day, unless it's the weekend" rule.3 -
Owner of the company I freelance for: The proposal I sent yesterday to [PR Company we do work for] got bounced back. They said it was incomplete.
Me: Well no shit, they didn't provide us with a detailed itinerary of everything they need, nor did they give us access to sections that they want copied to the new website. I can't and won't provide a full quote when I don't have all the information needed to build one. I would be guessing at this point and it would be shitty guesses.
Owner: Here's a proposal they got from another company. We need to make it like this [sends file].
Me: They mention a one sentence footnote about what I laid out. Everything else is marketing jargon that I don't know, because I'm a developer, not a marketer. I'm not sure what it is you want me to do, because you're asking the wrong person.
Owner: Are you going to help me or not?
Me: Help you with what? You got my notes. Paraphrase them if you need to, but I have more important things on my agenda, like being a web developer, not a proposal drafter. -
Here's two tips for doing better posts that a lot of people seem to need:
1) Use smaller paragraphs instead of a giant one.
Be nice to readers and avoid posting single giant walls of text.
2) If you post something short and the first comment is "why?", then you're just annoying readers. Whenever you do a statement like "I'm having a shitty day" or "X technology is garbage" please include enough explanation or context that motivated the post, don't make users chase you for explanations.16 -
Siemens Step7 code block protection (PLC's).. It was designed to lock code that you don't want others to be able to read. All blocks are in a dbf file, so you just need to find the block record and uncomment one line, voila - source code available.
Given the massive use of Siemens PLC's on plants all over the world, and the simplicity of hacking via S7 protocol, usually Internet connected, it's a breeze to steal or modify the controllers code with possible critical implications.
Enter Stuxnet.1 -
Best:
Really getting into Rust. It has taught me so many things.
1. Null is evil
2. Sum types are amazing
3. Compiler can actually have good error output
4. Multi threading is actually really scary if you don't have a compiler to back you up
Worst:
I had to deal with SSIS. It has also taught me many things:
1. No matter how 'mature' a product is, it can be awful. Simply dump a random error code, the user can figure out what went wrong, no need for good error messages.
2. The modern concept of the database is crap. It's a gigantic global state that is used by everyone and owned by no one.
3. Don't use tools that aren't made to be used with version control.
4. Even when you tell your team that it's bad, you will be ignored. -
TEAM PROJECTS IN UNIVERSITY BE LIKE:
You will need to write a paragraph of text, approximately 100 words long.
In order to manage your work more effectively, you must split the paragraph into sentences and each one of you should write one.
Make sure you don't clash with each other, the text is meaningful and it flows nicely.
You have one month: you should meet at least twice a week to discuss how to go about the tasks, review your work and plan ahead.
We will be checking on your progress on a weekly basis.
Most importantly, do not just wait until the last minute and have one person do all the work: that's just silly.7 -
dev "no no no, you're overengineering it. You just need one class for that"
Me "but ... Those are different object that share a common interface. The internal logic is not the same, only their output is. You know ... That's the purpose of interfaces"
Him "no no, as i said, you don't need that. Listen, you can put ALL the fields and methods in a single class and then you can use a switch with different cases .."1 -
Seriously, wtf..
- Getting ready for the K.I.D.
- Will need a red LED light/lantern to see things around w/o waking the kiddo up
- Order a bunch of various models
- Receive some of them
- The another one arrives - it only has white and blueish-white modes
- Reach out to the seller, ask to send me what I've ordered
- Seller replies with:
> Hi, friend
> I am very sorry this light is out of stock now
WTF dude... I order a particular SKU of your products, I need it for its particular properties the other SKUs don't have and when you see you've got no more left you do what? Send me a random product? Seriously, WTF man?!? How about ping me with a message, explain that you've oversold the item and suggest a refund? naaah, too much work, right? Just grab whatever products you still have left on your shelf and send them to your customer instead. /s
WTF MAN?!?!2 -
Need to whip up a quick demo on how a site might work for an organization, so I figured I'd just use the default twentynineteen theme and customizer to get it set up.
Turns out that twentynineteen *does* *not* *have* sidebars.
Instead, all of your content is offset to the left.
And all right-floated boxes go off-margin to the right.
And this is apparently a *feature* because now you can change your sidebar on every damn page instead of setting it in one place like a good site design would dictate! (link: https://github.com/WordPress/...)
I've been trying to bite my tongue and give it a fair shot, but saying that having the only dedicated widget area in the footer and forcing you to rebuild your sidebar on every damn page you want it on is a good thing is beyond the pale stupid. If you need that level of customization on every page, you don't know what you're doing. At the very least include a sidebar and give people the option of overriding it.
And for the love of God, *don't throw the entire goddamn body content off-center claiming you're leaving space for a sidebar you're not going to provide*!2 -
I am a Windows person. I always argue how great it is.
Well, not today.
I was today years old when I learned that you CANNOT uninstall store app via store ;p You need to go to settings / apps and functionality / your app / uninstall
The photo app (Yes the one bundled with win10) doesn't work if you use Hard drive compression AND it is a symlink for OneDrive (So you don't need to keep all photos on the drive). Fucking Paint works without problems.
Email client : If you alt+tab too fast after hitting 'Send email", there is 50% chances that email won't be send. Basiclly you need to hit "send" and wait until you see it in "sent" folder.
Well, as i'm ranting, here for Linux too :
I have a small ubuntu server VM, worked very well for last 6 months. Now "System in read only mode". Fucking apt-get upgrade fucked with something. I don't want to look, so I'll just rebuild a fresh vm.
And macOS should take sometyhing too : Who the fuck decided "enter" is for editing the name of file ?! really !
Well, ALL os are shit, all have downsides, I need my own OS. But I still want AA games... So windows for me.25 -
Do one thing... That's where the trouble starts.
Yeah. Architecture and separation, these are the foundation.
If you don't do these two in a proper and sane way, you most likely end up with the rotten pile of shit most companies call micro services.
Hot glued unmaintainable mess of deprecated shit stapled together by a custom framework abomination cause no one gave a flying fuck to properly design it.
I see these things daily.
I write the reminders every week.
"Hey, lil retarded dev, you don't need that dependency, you can just use languages feature XY added in version XY"
"But that's how I always did it"
Moments where you want to apply violence from the category "inhumane".
Or even more retarded: Yeah it does everything that was written in that one epic that took 6 months with 30 devs to finish.
I sometimes really wonder how some people managed to survive till they got the job. Parents must have been pretty vigilant 24/7...
In reply to atheist in another rant ;)
9 -
So we're seating in our small dev room where nothing else and no one else can fit in. I'm sitting next to the door so whenever anyone want to get in or out I need to do it first.
It's middle of the day and one of our dev friends. You don't believe what he did.
He fixed bug. So I pushed the red button to signalise that the bug was fixed and at the same time the alarm siren has launched and red lights starts to blink. Next minute couple of strippers wants to enter. Since the room is small they started dancing on our desks. Waitress opens champagne that's pouring on my leg and then I woke up and my dog is pissing on me.2 -
Black Friday is the time where you consider to buy a new laptop and finds that laptop companies don't know how to make one for programmers. Either they are shit or they are gamer laptop that have 2~4 GB of video memory you will never use and costs thousands of dollars.
Is it hard to make one with good CPU, RAM and a SSD without concluding that you are a hardcore gamer and you need an expensive video card along with it?8 -
I don't need you to reiterate what the problem is. I am aware. I was the one who told you what the problem is. Via email and Slack. Why do you keep restating it to me like you are the one who figured out? I know the table isn't syncing with the third party object. I'm trying to figure out WHY. No amount of "I'm pretty sure the sync process is broken" will trigger a solution. Stop coming into my office every 5 minutes with a new "revelation" that wasn't even your own. This isn't my code, and since the owner of said code is not here to fix it, I have to spend some time figuring out how this damn thing works. SO PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, LET ME WORK SO I CAN FIX THIS2
-
Lately I've noticed a lot of people complaining about webview apps (electron and so on)... While I see their arguments for resource hungry apps, slow and unreliable - I strongly think that it's just complaining for no reason....
It's slow - yes
It's stupid to make web work in native - yes
But guys, isn't it awesome that technologies allows us to do such things? Even a simple web developer can quickly prototype an application on mac/windows/linux/android/iphones - even if it's not a great one, you still don't need to learn all the corks and quacks of the languages... You just need to get it out there!
So, I'd like to say that we should actually appreciate things we have more, even if it's as stupid as emoji coding language :)
ps. I really admire the emoji language as it's amazing on the spectre of what is possible.... :D12 -
I have started using the input lockout when supporting colleagues.
The phrase "don't touch anything" must be code for "close all my windows"
Last one actually rebooted her machine in the middle of a (manager requested) intervention...
I got some very strange looks in the office to my "good afternoon, I'm calling to inform you that you will need to speak to HR to reinstate your credentials as I have accidentally marked you as a leaver while doing some database maintenance, I'll transfer you now, please hold" phone call, especially as we don't actually have access to do that lol
I put her on hold to myself while I finished then advised that "I'm sorry HR are busy, but I've managed to undo the mistake anyway, my apologies"
Kept her away from the machine so it was lawful evil right?1 -
Need some advice -
I have over one month spare time before joining the company. I have always wanted to learn an instrument but I'm also 'thinking' of joining a gym but I don't have any fantasies for big biceps and I am a big time foodie.
I have read that learning new instruments would help you in critical and out of the box thinking which is a definite plus while programming. While joining a gym would be a good way to keep myself fit in this hectic world of programming.
I'm torn in choosing between these two options. Which one should I join as a developer? What would my fellow devs suggest? 🤔22 -
So, I got a new job opportunity at another company, one thing we agreed is that I would need one month to give the notice, and leave the project I was working on with the company I currently work on. Today, after 25 days, they said "the project is not available anymore, we can't hire you", I already give the current company the notice. Making all the wishes possible to keep the current project I work on.
This is life telling me, don't change from what you know to the unknown, even with good positive reviews8 -
Production: "Do you have [device]?"
Me: "Yes. I'm implementing the software that controls [device]."
Production: "Ok, that's the only [device] in the building, and I need to ship it to meet a deliverable."
Me: "... Does he want it to do anything?"
Production: "We'll build you another one."
Me: "When?"
Production: "... Eventually."
Software Development: The art of spinning straw into gold when you don't have any straw. -
My new favourite commit message:
"All changes as of 18th Sept"
How tremendously useful? There I was looking to know what changes were made to enable a feature / service, thought I could look for that in the commit message, but no you've given me a much more efficient way of finding out.
I simply need to download the contents of your memory, find out what date you made a change, and then dig through the massive commit to find the piece of info I need.
Forget experience using Git features, managing merges, following Git flow, or even any other SCM ... how can people be so tick when it comes to recording what they've done.
Heres a little cheat sheet for those struggling:
- Commit message
Describe what you actually ****ing did. Don't tell me the date or the time, thankfully Git records those. Don't tell me the day of the week, if I need to know I can figure that out, just tell me what ... you ... did.
- Feature branch names
Now this is a tricky one. You might be surprised to know that this isn't in fact suppose to be whatever random adjective or noun popped into your head ... I know, I too was shocked. The purpose of this is to let other people know what new feature is being worked on in this branch.
- Reusing feature branches
Now I know you started it to add some unit tests, and naming it "testing" is sort of ok. But its actually not ok to name it testing when you add 3 unit tests ... then rip out and replace 60% of the business logic. Perhaps it would have been wiser to create a new feature branch, given you are now working on a new feature.2 -
Some motherfucker pulled the entire fucking Lodash library off a CDN so he could use one fucking function.
Buddy, the library is open source, you can just copy the relevant code off Github
This is why websites are slow as fuck, devs import shit they don't need3 -
Just need to vent, so here goes:
Fuck doing cutting edge projects for great glory, low budgets and tight deadlines. I'm tired, burnt out and just don't give a shit anymore.
I got promoted to lead dev and thought my fortune was made but what it really meant was just: Here solve all these bullshit bugs that the rest of the team can't figure out and oh we are also taking this single app you guys made and scaling it globally. You have half a year to figure that out. You handle the devops.... sigh
Fuck that noise.
Honestly i just feel like quitting and finding a nice specialist place, with a cap of at max Senõr developer, no more being the one making the big decisions for me, rather just diving into certain areas and coding the fuck out of that. Maybe some teaching too, i like that.
Anyway, won't happen right now, i need the salary. My wife just graduated and can't find a job what with a certain flu fucking over the economy, so I am stuck here for now.2 -
Why apple is a peice of shit..? Why even people love it.. It makes apple to grow more.. Although they don't deserve it.. They don't deserve the trillion dollars.. Why don't they fuck them self..
In a year they release a peice of shit and people are like applauding on it.
Are you fucking serious people?
The people who called as "apple fanboy" please go fuck yourself.. Tell me one reason to love apple..
I am not talking about the price issue. I am talking about they think that they are the best.. But no they are not. They are a bunch of asshole who are working to make money.. They don't need to respect.26 -
Someone today told me that I represent the chillest vibe that Texas can muster and I really did appreciate that.
Would I've had my hat on, I would've tipped it and said thank you. But I was not playing cowboy that day.
I just don't want people from the outside and from within the states to think that we are all a bunch of racist republitard rednecks, I don't mind being called a redneck, but shit man I ain't one to hate on people based on their preferences/etc/etc/etc
You can be a rough cowboy and still be nice to mfkas, shit ain't hard at all, matter of fact I think it is easier to be nice than to be a total dickhead. I will drop a motherfucker down in 2 secs if need to tho.
I just want mfkas to be happy around me.8 -
Question: is it common to a developer to have lots of tasks to do at the same time, so you don't have sure what you need to do first, specially when you have 2 or more urgent projects?
That is one of the things I most hate on managing.8 -
Me: I would like to receive external training for RHCSA course and certification
Company: Sure! we will open a ticket for you and keep you posted
Me: it's been almost 3 months, could you give me any updates?
Company: Oh actually you are not eligible! this certification is not aligned with your job description!
Me: But...I use linux every single day and it's one of the main requirements to be able to do my job?
Company: Yeah whatever no need to get certified still..!
Me: Why didn't you tell me that 3 months ago?
Company: Well the process was changed and we decided this certification does not match your profile
Me: What matches my profile then?
Company: certificates in Azure and GCP
Me: But I don't ever use those platforms?
Company: ......
Me: ......1 -
@cozyplanes birthday is coming.....
And my dad is asking if I want some presents....
But I can't think of one.
I already have decent headphones and earphones, speaker, keyboard, mouse, laptop, monitor, phone, and tablet...
I personally don't need anything now, but I want to get something.
Can anyone recommend hardware stuff for me? (not software) Mostly tech related, but if you can think of music stuff or leisure stuff (like boosted board, even tho I don't have the time to ride it), that's great too!
Will waiting for you guys/gals suggestions.
P.S. Ofc I want to get my own A320 or A350, but I am pretty sure my dad can't afford it. If any of you guys/gals have the money, please contact me.14 -
Why won't you just approve my PR???
Whats wrong with you?!
I don't understand your cryptic one-sentence feedback. I'm not even sure you understand what you're asking yourself.
What the hell does "make it a transaction" mean? Don't give me pseudo-code examples that don't even work fucking asshole!
Its a small change that does NOT need a canary build dammit. Don't go testing the ORM, its a goddamn standard library. Why does working with you make everything so complicated?!?!
The code fucking works! There is no need to make it comply to your specific tastes goddamn it. Working with you is like pulling teeth!
/endrant9 -
To all of us who procrastinate. Here is my new thinking that is making me slightly more productive! I would guess we all agree that the work is fucked up. But what we need to be productive, is an ego big enough to think that we are the only one smart enough to fix it! Just let your ego go!
Why code that project? Because other people would do it wrong! You fuck up the project? Fuck you, do it right or it won't be done right! My internal monologue from now on!
Does this mean I don't ask for help? Of course I ask! So that I can learn it, realise the other person is an idiot, then do it right using their technology!
If you don't do what you are planning to do, nobody will! Also most of the worlds problems can be solved with money, so that is why we should get rich. To fix the problems of the world.
Hope it helps someone :)4 -
Been getting a lot of troll / clown / clueless (?) comments on my posts recently. Select favorites include:
"Why do you have a login form on your website?" wut
"Why didn't you throw away that API key?" wut
"Why do you even need to access your apps' servers?" wut
There are just SO many amazing devs here who have NEVER had do any of those things, I'm quite literally an idiot and don't know what I'm doing, sorry for my ignorance. I'd forgotten that there is only exactly one way to build software, I wish I'd done it "that" way sooner! Foolish me.
Really not sure if trolls, clowns, or clueless. Don't care. 🤡🤡🤡12 -
Creator of the react router:
If you ever see this, you created one of the greatest library with one of the worst documentation ever.
And don't get me started with versions. In every single versions, you break everything so badly and nothing works anymore.
Everytime I need to do something related to react router, I just fucking roll on the floor and cry. Documentation is fucked up.
It's totally fucked up. In the github there's one documentation, in the website there's a different. At the end, nothing works.
Please, if you want to create a nice library like this, maintain it. If you can't maintain it, mark it as deprecated and someone will take over.
But keeping something like this and making it absolutely inconsistent doesn't help. I am really tired of debugging bugs related to react-router2 -
Dear laptop vendors, stop wasting so much precious device estate on nothing!
This wasted physical space could easily fit in six USB ports, or four USB ports and two HDMI ports, or four USB ports and one HDMI and one LAN. Or four USB ports and two SD card slots.
> "Who the heck needs 6 USB ports?"
You don't need more USB ports… until the day you do need them comes.
> "HDMI and LAN are feature creep!"
It's "feature creep", until you need it.
> "Ever heard of USB hubs?"
While better than nothing, they are tedious to carry around and can hardly support more than one external high-power device such as an external hard drive or blu-ray drive, except if you have an external power adapter, which is even more tedious to carry.
Also, have fun closing programs until the operating system stops whining "volume is busy" just so you can unmount your external SSD and then reconnect it through a USB hub. Sounds like fun, huh?
You were playing audio from your external SSD? Too bad. Now you need to close the media player to be able to unmount the SSD, then later restart it and seek the last position. And all of that could be avoided if your laptop happened to have one more USB port.
10 -
User A: We need to do some check on our data. So you need to add in a new function for this, we can't use your system otherwise.
Me: Ok then.
Spends 2 days or so to get it working
Me: So this is the function we'll add. Can you confirm that its ok?
User A: Ohh...but now I'm not too sure about this. Let me confirm with my team lead on this.
User A: I just checked. Good news,we don't really need that function now. I think we can use it with the current one anyway haha. And I just confirmed this so no worries.
So I just wasted my time then. Great.3 -
Background story:
One of the projects I develop generates advice based on energy usage and a questionare with 300 questions.
Over 400 different variables determine what kind of advice is given. Lots of userinput and over a thousand textblocks that need to show or not.
Rant:
WTF do you want me to do when you tell me. It's not giving the right advice for the lights.
Why the for the love of.. do I need to ask you everytime. If something is not working. Tell me what and for wich user. Don't tell me calculation whatever is not working, I don't know that calculation. Your calculations are maintainable in your cms.
And how, like I really wonder, do you expect me, when not telling me what user is having this problemen to find and fix it, You just want me to random guess one of the thousands users that should be given that specific advice?
FCK, like 80% of my time solving problems is spend trying to figure out wtf your talking about.
And then what a miricale the function is doing exactly what is it doing but you forgot a variable. It's not like the code I write suddenly decides it does not feel like giving the right answer.3 -
"This is ridiculous, why don't the docs explain this? This is absurd, it seems like thousands of people should be having this issue. Why do maintainers fucking not get it? Why write software if you don't intend for anyone else to use it?"
versus
"Hey, could you explain X to me? I'm having trouble understanding it."
"Sure, here: ..."
"Thanks - maybe we could add it to the docs, that's the first place I looked."
"Absolutely, good idea."
<closed in a8b7cb8d>
Which one was easier, folks? It's not this difficult. 100% going to help you if you ask - to me, at least, there's no such thing as a stupid question (seriously, I'll answer the most inane questions 100 times over if I need to). However, there's definitely a stupid comment, and unfortunately they seem to be the majority I receive on Github.6 -
Client : you are hired as a developer.
Me : we need more developers as there's more work and less time.
Client : Ok, here's another dev
(Meanwhile me doing my work...)
ON THE DAY OF DEMO :
Me : Here's the demo.
Client: it's incomplete, where's more work?
Me: that's the part of 2nd dev you hired before
Client : I don't care, I fucking need a work!
Me inside: (Why the fuck would the first dev becomes a task/team manager just because is the first one to join the project! Arrrgh!!! Hire a fucking scrum master to manage your fucking tasks/team, am just a fucking dev! )6 -
I've been using keepass for everything and just recently I've just come to realization of just how hard it is to get into my accounts now that I've done this.
Literally, I'm useless if i don't have a computer to get my passwords. (I know it's for android too, but i need the database)
I was trying to log into my spotify, but I couldn't remember my password. Then I thought, oh i know i'll just log into facebook and do it that way.
LOL JK you don't know the password
Fuck... what about my email???
LOL NOPE!
Seriously if i was held at gun point and told to log into anything I'd be dead. I've literally secured myself out of my own accounts...
I guess if there is any silver lining, it's that no-one, and I mean 'no-one' is getting into my accounts any time soon.
9 -
PSA: If you need to make dummy commits to trigger a pipeline for test purposes, please just use --allow-empty and make an empty one. Don't just add random newlines back and forth in stupid places.6
-
Why is every innovation trying to go towards "replacing programmers"? like, what have we done to you?
GitHub CoPilot will replace programmers!
AI will replace programmers!
This/That tech will replace programmers!
Nobody says,
"Programmers work remote so we don't need to hire managers anymore!"
"Programmers wrote a monitoring script for progress tracking, so no need for managers anymore!"
"We are asking people to install sprinklers everywhere so we don't need firefighters!"
"We can just have one teacher record the subject material once and re-use the same video every year, so now we don't need to hire teachers anymore!"
"We are making everything legal so we don't need to hire policemen!".
Why is everything trying to replace programmers?8 -
There's one thing I hate about the new year. Everyone assumes it's the best time to do some cleanup, some maintenance. As the year starts fresh - everyone should start fresh, right?
NOT!
No, Hetzner, you don't need to restart my servers on Dec 26th.
No, local VPS providers, you don't need to clean-up all my /tmp/ files for me on Dec 29th, leaving me in the dark and unaware I have to restart my apps.
That's just a dick move. Your intentions might be alright, but the consequences... Damn you!3 -
Meetings would be better without people.
I mean I like the IDEA of meetings...
Honestly I'm the type of person who if I could would schedule lots of meetings to make sure we're all on the same page, and to be sure the thing is going to do the thing everyone wants / get their perspective, etc. I really want to KNOW what the folks who are going to use this thing need / want / what works best for them.
On the other hand I know that meetings are often more like:
Me: "Ok let's so here's our data, now tell me what fields they want to edit and so forth."
People: "All of them."
Me: "Uh, no you don't want that or they'll break everything ... X, Y and Z require those fields for A, B, and C to work."
Me: "Let's go field by field and you tell me if they need to edit it, and why."
People: "Yeah this first one they have to be able to change this one."
Me: "Wait no, that's the primary key for that table, I don't know why that's on this list but no you can't change that."
People: "Yeah we have to be able to change that."
Me: "No, you can't, do you even know what that number IS?"
People: "Um... no ..."
(╯°□°)╯︵ ┻━┻2 -
Right to repair by Corsair
My mouse has double click glitch...
To disassemble the mouse, first skates need to be peeled off and destroyed in order to get to mounting screws...
I was unable to find those skates online, so I reached directly the Corsair to check if they sold them. Of course they don't sell them...
Next I tried to find professional shop. I found one willing to replace switch for 50$ while brand new mouse costs 60$.
FUCK YOU CORSAIR7 -
I already wrote a rant about this yesterday, but since I'm a sysadmin trying to convert to dev.. I dunno, maybe it's not a bad idea to muddy the waters a bit and talk about why not to be a sysadmin.
Personally I think it's that the perceived barrier to entry is just too high, while it isn't. You don't need a huge Ceph cluster and massive servers when you're just starting out. Why overbuild an appliance like that if it's gonna start out at maybe 5 requests a minute?
Let's take an example - DNS servers! So there's been this guy on the bind-users mailing list asking how to set up a DNS server on 2 public servers, along with a website. Nothing special I guess - you can read the thread here: https://0x0.st/ZY-d. Aside from the question being quite confusing, there was advice to read RFC's, get a book, read the BIND ARM, etc etc. And the person to deny this? No one less than Stephane Bortzmeyer, one of the people who works for nic.fr (so he maintains the .fr TLD) and wrote some of those RFC's as part of the DNSOP working group in the IETF. As for valid reasons to set up a DNS server? Could just be to learn how the DNS works, or hell even for fun. As far as professional DNS servers go.. this (https://0x0.st/ZYo9) is the nugget that powers the K root server, one of the 13 root servers that power the root zone of the internet, aka the zone apex. 2 RJ45 connections, and a console connection. The reason why this is possible is the massive recursor networks that ISP's, Google DNS, Cloudflare DNS, Quad9, etc etc provide. Point is, you don't need huge infrastructure to run a server!
Or maybe your business needs email. How many thousands of emails per second are you gonna need to build your mail server against? How many millions will you need to store? If your business has 10 employees and all of those manage about 10k emails total.. well that's easy, 100k emails total. Per second? Hundreds of emails per second per employee? Haha, of course not. Maybe you'll see an email a minute at most. That is not to say that all email services are like this - it is true that ISP's who offer email to their customers, and especially providers like Microsoft and Google do need massive mail servers that can handle thousands of emails per second. But you are not Microsoft or Google. So yeah, focus on the parts of email that are actually hard.. and there is plenty.
Among sysadmins you have this distinction between "professional" sysadmins and homelabbers. I don't mind the distinction itself but I think both augment each other. If you've started out by jumping into a heap of legacy at an established company, you will have plenty of resources, immediately high complexity, and probably a clusterfuck right away. But you will have massive amounts of resources. If you start out with a homelab, you will have not many resources, small workloads, and something completely new for you to build and learn with. And when running a server like that, you'll probably find that the resources required are quite small, to provide you with your new services. My DHCP servers take 12MB memory each. My DNS servers hover around the 40MB mark. The mail server.. to be fair that one consumes around 150. But if you'd hear the people saying that you need huge servers.. omg you need at least a TB of RAM on your server and 72 cores, massive disks and Ceph!1!
No you don't. All that does is scaring people away and creating a toxic environment for everyone. Stop it.1 -
I hate when one of my cw starts to flood the chat, especially the #general. It goes like:
CW: hey
CW: anyone have a pendrive
CW: ?
Me: I have one (and tells him where he can find on my desk)
Another CW: I have one too
CW: thanks, I'll get the one from <Another CW>
CW: hahahahahaha
You don't need to write a whole thesis in a single message, but at least you should guarantee that each message have some meaningful information, not just "hey", "?" and "hahaha"
Slack is not MSN.
Who should and when it would be a good time to tell him this is a waste of attention?8 -
First Happy new year, now lets get put on the dancing shoes... (I have another one coming, but this one is fresh)
As a PHP developer (yeah I am and I like it, if you gonna hate on me... go fuck yourself) I expect to not be required to reinvent the wheel when I have to use something that is not too mainstream (in my case was producing JSON and XML HAL responses). Now there are 2 (fairly active and somewhat mature), one of which does not produce XML responses, so off I went with the other one, but for fucks sake it does not produce XML that is compliant with the (draft)RFC (https://tools.ietf.org/html/...)
So as I need that, I decided to write one myself, since extending the one that provided XML would've been a waste of time, since it is NOT documented and for some reason depends on about 4 packages (also developed by the same maintainer), why the whining you ask, eh? Well fuck this shit. It took me 2(+2 classes) to achieve everything (according to standard as far as I can tell) + went with using a "hydrator" as opposed to reflection (the lib used reflection and didn't care too much for the access modified on the property of the object being serialized) so got a pretty solid performance boost, cleaner and simple code (I wrote it for a few hours and it is ugly, but hey KISS and it works perfectly)...
So with the more ranty part of this rant... Why the fuck so many people don't write independant packages for the simple parts... I don't hate it when I need a package and end up downloading half of the codebase of symfony or whatever fancy framework the dev decided to use, wasn't it the point of having 'package managers' (composer, npm, etc.. you get the deal..) instead of promote our projects and not force others to use our favorite framework that is absolutely out of scope for their projects...
Fuck you, fuck me and fuck everybody... If this continues I will continue writing my own packages from scratch, because "you" asshole are too lazy to learn and apply SOLID and common sense; even if your life depends on it you cannot write a meaningful piece of code without "the fancy framework of the month" holding your hand and allowing you to continue being a dumbass that has enough brain cells to walk straight and remember that you have to go to the toilet and not shit all over the place....
FML.... Fuck this shit and that is the main reason my gears grind the most when I head "you should use *framework name* instead" or "don't reinvent the wheel", fuck that guy I refuse to work my ways around a framework in order to get things done, my boss aint happy for that shit you know, I don't get paid to deal with your crappy code or uninformed opinion..3 -
daily reminder (most of you don't need it i know) that reddit is full of the most ignorant and dumb people on the planet
thought i could hop into comments on a /r/worldnews post for interesting discussion and discourse, no, its just idiotic neckbeards trying to one up eachother on painfully cringe doomer phrases and / or who can get the most upvotes from their godawful dumbass pun
what a fuckin cesspool
and they wonder why the world is going to shit7 -
Really? You want me to install you an old windows release because "you don't understand the new one"?
What don't you understand? Fucking square buttons? Basic color palletes? Big fat icons with a description below?
What do you miss in a ten years old shitty OS? The need of three antiviruses? The satanic settings layout? Lack of any drivers?
You have a family, you're making them too experience all the security breaches, all the compatibility problems with thing are a "must have" today, and all the slow performance.
Fuck you. Please, please, please, go fuck yourself with your trashy laptop's burnt battery. Pretty please. I already hated you, but now it's out of the charts.
PS: Actually, fuck myself with your crappy laptop's batteries, because my girlfriend told me to help you, and I can't say no, so see you in two weeks, when porn ads are invading your desktop and you're ready to blame me.6 -
After I cured my depression with Vortioxetine which was prescribed to me because of pure luck, I can notice that something has changed.
I can't tell if I like or don't like something anymore. It doesn't matter now which food to eat, what music to listen to, I just can't see the difference. I dropped all my side projects, quit my job and got another, much easier one. I don't see the big picture of things anymore. I also lost my ability to reverse-engineer problematic outcomes and find solutions.
I used to be an architect but now I can't design anything, I just forgot how to do what I could do without thinking. I forgot Lisp and Clojure, functional programming is too hard for me now. I just don't understand it.
My iq also significantly dropped.
Summarizing all that, and also remembering that liking or not liking something implies that you have a personality, I can only see one reason – I probably don't have a personality anymore.
Here's a summary of my experiences from when I was depressed:
depression makes you dumb
you struggle with simplest tasks
you only eat and go to the bathroom because sometimes your basic instincts win
depression takes your power of will – the most valuable thing you have
society doesn't understand and shames you
you can't think
you can't focus
you can't study
you need money but you can't make it
you don't have that save space inside your thoughts anymore
you don't have dreams
your sleep schedule is fucked
every night there's a nightmare and you can't wake up
you can't cry
they prescribe you one neuroleptic after another and they only makes it worse, turning you into a vegetable
you feel nothing but shame and irrational infinite guilt10 -
I think a question should be added to tech interviews and maybe the most important one.
How many times in a week do you use Google/internet to look for a solution to/information about ur problems.
Tests for a developers ability to learn or try to figure things out themselves..
Feels like a lot of people on my team just do it the way it's always been done ,. Which is ahitty.. and if they don't know something,.. they need to ask someone instead of trying to figure it out themselves...
Reminds me of that fish adage?
They never learn how to fish....26 -
I don't care for Slack. There's nothing wrong with Slack. I just don't find a need for it when I already had email + IM. You know what I hate, though. People who show up one day and force Slack down the throat of an organization because "collaboration". Now, every day I hear "I didn't see that. Oh, you put in on Slack? Which channel?", "I put in on Slack", "I don't ever check my email, I just have Slack open", "Instead of filling up your inbox, I'm going to post this on 15 different slack channels" (which is why I have all the channels muted). All from people who can't type 10 words in a row without an emoji.3
-
https://ibm.com/support/home/...
What the actual fucking fuck? I've spent almost two days debugging this motherfucking piece of shit.
So.
YOUR BIOS HAS A WINDOW WITH A DROP SHADOW SO VERY COOL OF YOU IBM, BUT YOU CAN'T GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER WHEN IT COMES TO BOOTING.
I mean, what's the fucking logic? I don't fucking need a nice interface to my BIOS. No one fucking does when it comes to server hardware.
This is it for me. Fuck IBM. Fuck it hard. I really hope Oracle buys you.3 -
I absolutely hate software to the point where I started converting from sysadmin to becoming more like a dev. That way I could just write my own implementations at will. Easier said than done, that's for sure. And it goes both ways.
I think that in order to be a good dev, you need these skills the most:
- Problem solving skills
- Creativity, you're making stuff
- Logical reasoning
- Connecting the dots
- Reading complex documentation
- Breaking down said documentation
- A strong desire to create order and patterns
- ...
If you don't have the above, you may still be able to become a dev.. but it would be harder for sure, and in some cases acceptance will be lower (seriously, learn to Google!)
One thing I don't think you need in development is mathematics. Sure there's a correlation between it and logic reasoning, but you're not solving big mathematical monsters here. At most you'd probably be dealing with arrays and loops (well.. program logic).
Also, written and spoken English! The language of the internet must be known. If it's not your first language, learn it. All the good (and crucial) documentation out there is in English after all.
One final thing would be security in my opinion, since you're releasing your application to the internet and may even run certain services, and deal with a lot of user data. Making those things secure takes some effort and knowledge on security, but it's so worth it. At the most basic level, it requires a certain mindset: "how would I break this thing I just made?"4 -
Optimization issue pops out with one of our queries.
> Team leader: You need to do this and that, it's a thing you know NOTHING about but don't worry, the DBA already performed all the preliminary analysis, it's tested and it should work. Just change these 2 lines of code and we're good to go
> ffwd 2 days, ticket gets sent back, it's not working
> Team leader: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TEST IT YOUR CHANGE IS NOT WORKING
> IHateForALiving: try it on our production machine and you'll see the exact same error, it's been there for years
> Team leader: BUT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TEST IT
Just so we're clear, when I perform a change in the code, I test the changes I made. I don't know in which universe I should be held accountable for tards breaking features 10 years ago, but you can't seriously expect me to test the whole fucking software from scratch every time I add an index to the db.1 -
How many of you fellas have thinkpads? Bought this refurbished unit about a month ago and the machine is great, really. Very happy with its performance, sturdiness & reliability.
Only thing I'm not too psyched about is the battery life. Probably need a new one as I'm hitting about 4 hours max on a 6cell.
Running Xubuntu 16.04, might switch distros as quite there are a few bugs in the new release but at the same time I don't wanna downgrade to 14.04.
13 -
I hate those mother fucking, Cock sucking, dick farting retarded faggots, who get the opportunity of a new job/internship just because they have a certain "relative" in the said company/organisation.
I mean its ok that you are getting an opportunity, but just don't act all-knowing-god-tier while you don't even know how to print a statement in c++ and got it.
How many more relationships should I increase of mine so that I get into the same position like them.
One of my friends got the internship just because his girlfriend's brother works for the firm.
Now that's just super barbaric unless he gave a blowjob to the gf's brother.
Their Fucking assholes need to be drilled by a giant pile drivers.5 -
The worst part of being a dev? Working in teams.
And I don't mean that in the "I'm the best ninja code wizard in the whole world and you're all holding me back" kinda way. I'm thinking more in the lines of someone who has to deal with that kind of attitude on a daily basis. As someone who recently was put in a leading position in a dev team, this is by far one of the worst experiences that came with it.
Some examples?
- One dev completely changed the naming scheme for variables in a class he worked on for one. single. bug fix. His reason? He just didn't like it!
- Another one noticed that data he was supplied with was not in the specified format. Instead of flagging this with the project leads, he just rewrote his parser to fit the data. A couple of weeks later the supplier noticed the error, fixed the format and suddenly everyone wondered why the software failed processing the data.
- Or that one senior dev, that just refuses to accept changes because "it was always done like this and it worked" No, it didn't. That's why it was changed!
Once a dev team reaches a certain size, people need to realize that stuff like coding rules and process guidelines are not there to annoy them but to help the whole team work as efficient as possible. I don't care how good a programmer you are, if you can't check your ego you don't belong in any kind of team-oriented development project! -
I need to encrypt some large files at rest and then decrypt them immediately prior to processing.
App and files are on a Linux system (CentOS). App is in C. Machine is controlled by a third party.
What encryption libraries would you recommend? And, is there any clever way of managing the decryption key beyond compiling it in the code and doing some basic obfuscation?
Are they fancy obfuscation libraries out there, for example?
And, the reason I'm not going to SO (well, one reason) is that I don't want to have 50 answers that tell me that's it's impossible to 100% protect data on a machine you don't control. This I understand---just looking for "best effort" solution.8 -
Today I had a casual chat with my friend and we were discussing how human mind limits the things one can achieve. Like giving up after constant failures, or lack of determination, blaming destiny for failures. I told him I am never easy about the fact that your destiny is pre-written and you can't do anything about it. If you are willing, you can change it. You just need to have the right mindset.
He said I am going to do MBA after engineering. You can't be rich with just engineering. I told him if you work smart and hard enough, and just follow your passion, there is no need for an MBA. And he went on to tell me how top richest persons mostly comprise of businessmen.
I fear for the future. People like this with no goals when take up engineering, they blame everyone but themselves and the stream gets the bad name. People want money, but they don't want to work from the beginning. Even after that they give up too easy.
People like Bill and Mark were not pre-destined. They made themselves. They were just like us, but they never got satisfied with themselves. We all have the capabilities to be them or even better. We just need to keep driving ourselves until we reach there, we don't have to get satisfied. We have to keep improving and learn from our mistakes, then try again.2 -
I work with a few 'idea' and marketing guys. The quicker we can turn out a project, the quicker we can make money. Some days, I can get 3 quick, easy projects out. But sometimes, these guys get 'ideas' that are out of the norm so they can take a few days to get going.
One of the guys had an idea I knew was going to take longer than a day, especially with the rest of my daily tasks. This guy loves reading 'how to run a business' books and tries to say we need it today, 'nothing is impossible' (because it was in his book).
I explain reality to him and he gets all pissy. The following day he tried again, with something that would take less time. 'so, which one do you want? Yeah, I can do that one quicker, but the first one will take longer then.'
This guy don't get it. I will burn everyone of his fucking books.2 -
Client sends screenshots, compressed, and shrunk down to an unreadable size, inside a docx file.
Just... just no. Where is a spray bottle or a rolled up newspaper when you need one.
(For you three people who are going to comment 'why don't you just teach them...' ssssssssssshut up, some people are just unteachable ( for you other three who are going to say 'everyone is teachable.' Not true, if it was you wouldn't be saying such things.))1 -
!rant, throw everything away
When you spend 9 hour at work, 2 hours in that fucking exploded bus, tries to spend time with friends and family, spend enough time with that one special person, try to sleep descently and manage to work on your personal projects during that two hours in the bus, and that each day, each week, the whole year.
You need a lot of motivation!
But when today I loose two months of work because of a hardware problem and that (because I don't have internet in the bus) I didn't backup on GitHub , I just have lost all motivation and will!
I just can't anymore!
FML5 -
So recently moved to a new place. New roommates. Thought lets initiate a talk. Found out one of em is a web developer.
Me: So, what you working on?
Him: Web technologies
Me: oh great...I worked on ReactJS and AngularJS.
Him: Our company uses AngularJS.
Me: So you work on AngularJS, right?
Him: Oh no I don't work on AngularJS...I am a frontend developer...
(Awkward silence)
(Inner me: No shit. Need to find new place.)
Should I tell him?1 -
Was recently asked if our team wanted to change from Java to Kotlin so I looked over the feature lists but don't see much that's impressive.
One argument was less boilerplate code but I think they're are libraries like Lomboq that can write that stuff for you.
The other was smart type casting and type inference and to that I'm like this sounds like giving monkeys a hammer.
Our JS codebase looks like shit... And our Java app just crashed in prod.
Getting a ton of text messages this morning and thankfully I'm on vacation still...
The error is not caused by NPE... but how some or logic spammed the db..
A new language isn't going to fix this.... And a team that writes this sort of shit logic clearly shows they are incapable of learning a new one probably...
They are already script kiddies... Don't need them to become babies...6 -
Use Xamarin, they said. It will be easy, they said. You will only need to write your UI once, they said. NOPE
Documentation is shit, I've been sitting here for the past hour and a half figuring out how to add an icon to a button in their shiny XAML thing for which they have NO DOCUMENTATION. THEY WANT YOU TO HOE IT OVER C# BUT THEY ONLY GIVE EXAMPLES IN C#. And now I'm trying to figure out where I can download the iOS UIBarButton icons, because you can't use native icons and fuck apple too, they don't want to give em to you.
What a hellhole.
All while my client is constantly spamming me in all ways, distracting me, marking issues as "supercritical" (which makes an alarm ring on my phone and is only meant for emergencies) and otherwise distracting the living daylight out of asking for screens of the UI.
AND I STILL PREFER IT OVER ANDROID STUDIO. Don't even get me started on that one.2 -
I want to cry... Fuck it.. shiit. .. :( :( ;(
Wasted half of the Weekend to Setup MySQL on my vServer which uses ssl encryption, have specific User and so on.
Thought: well, the User mysql is not so good as a Name. Drop it, you don't need it.
What did I? Instead of Drop User mysql , I typed Drop Database mysql.
Fuck that fucking Shit. I'm so sad right now. Broked the complete MySQL Database. Nothing is working anymore. And the server is new, I've Just made One Backup. Deleted this a few hours ago.. also accidently.
Help me :( Shit :( so sad :( Now, I don't have Motivation anymore to work with the vServer :(3 -
I think the one of the more common reason for imposter syndrome is that a lot of smart people constantly get told as children the "you're so smart/capable, you can do everything!" too much, and when you hear it enough times, it gets to you, so you think everything is just easy. And then when they start hitting roadblocks, instead of helping or explaining that it's normal for things to be hard and it's normal to fail, usually parents and teachers and whatnot tell them "Oh it's okay, don't worry about it, you're smart, you'll get it" and so they at first it works, maybe it just takes more time but they manage, but as things get harder and they still put little effort because "don't worry, you're so smart, you learn so fast/easy" and as they find out more and more things they don't umderstand or don't know they start to feel a dissonance, which builds anxiety.
And this is where I thinks it actually starts: at some points there comes a situation where they either share this anxiety with someone or someone notices their worry, and(at least from what I've seen from others) usually the response they get is something along the lines of: "Nah, you're just worrying too much, you're smarter than you think, don't be so down on yourself, you need to worry less", which, maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not sure telling someone that thinks he has a problem that he doesn't have a problem, helps their worrying.
And on one hand the amount if things they don't get/know/understand or fail at grows(cuz you can't just be good at EVERYTHING, so the more things you know about, the more things you don't understand) while mentally still being in that "Wait a minute, you're smarter than this, you should be getting this!" mindset that's been drilled into them, and so at some point the illusion shatters, and they start to think "Maybe I'm not so smart after all", and because they think they were wrong about their level, they feel like they have "oversold" themselves in the past and that makes any past accomplishments feel like lucky accidents instead: "If I'm not actually smart, the things I did manage to achieve must've been just accidental", which makes them feel like they've lied to themselves and everyone else when they "took credit for an accidents" and that their life is just a snowball of pretending.
Now, is that actually a cause or is it another one of my crazy 1AM ramblings? I don't know xD
I'm not an expert in any of this and I don't really know any psychology so hell if I know if that's how any of this works but that's just my theory of one of the reasons why. *shrug*. I've had this theory for years, but I don't know.
It at least makes sense to me, but not everything that makes sense is true soooo.
Anyways, wall of text is over.
Oh, and for anyone struggling with imposter syndrome: I just want you to know, it's okay to fail, and it's okay to not know shit, especially in the dev industry where every "insignificant" detail can have an entire rabbit hole of expertise behind it, nobody can expect to know every part of it. And it doesn't make you any less smart no matter how much you fail. Tnis shit is hard, so I hope you stay strong and I hope you succeed in whatever it is you're struggling with.
*Massive virtual hug* <31 -
Two friends of mine (one of which actually introduced me to devRant) refuse to post on here.
...there's no need to explain that I want them to enjoy devRant (at it's full potential) with me but they don't see a point in writing.
Would you be so kind and give them some motivation/reasons in the comments? What's the point of dev-ranting?9 -
Reasons to NOT be a dev sounds rather negative so I'd like to propose 3 things that you need to BE a dev as to frame it in a positive light:
- When a problem peaks your interest you want to solve it, you may even be obsessed by it.
- You enjoy learning, not necessarily enjoy school, just enjoy learning new things (even better if it's by your own means)
- Failure may get you down, but you learn and don't give up until you have exhausted all paths to success.
You may need other skills like math, logic and reasoning abilities, being able to handle deadlines, attention to detail, and cope with stress. I've seen people being crap at all of those and if they have the former 3 they, in time, will hone the others enough to make them a productive dev.
No need to be a 9-9-6 code monkey willing to be squeezed by Big Corp for massive profits and a low salary or a 1337 purist coder that only focuses on the crafting side of developing software. That may make you a great coder but not a well rounded developer or individual. Remember, you program machines but you are NOT one.
10 -
Meetings.. Was I not listening? Blame it on the ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder).
Maybe society has AEHD (Attention Expected Hyper-Delusion).
Seriously, who can pay attention to someone speaking AT you.
We have amazing magical devices one can enchant to do their bidding; Contemplating the details of such, often, is more enjoyable than what your rambling on about, talking head.
Not sorry, ;).
Also THANK YOU, you amazing MIT's (Manager of Information Technologies). A lot of you understand and even may use your underling employee's as a vented heat sync for your frustrations. I love what you do and thank the universe I don't have to engage myself in those activities. I have sympathy for the decision to give up your jeans and t-shirts for business attire; keep strong, your role is vital. <3
The insomnia is going to have to give me a break. Work in 3 hrs, time for a nap; and no, I don't take ADD medication (Amphetamine). I don't need a prescription; I can procure my own drugs, thank you.
Nor would I do them to get through work, that's drug abuse.
5 -
Just fucking use the defacto standard. Shut up. Quit being immature. You're not the main character. No one in the world will use your new standard you pull out of your ass just because you thought you were better than other people. You weren't. You're an average dev by any means. If you feel like no one respects you, keep your ego problems out of your work. Just because your emotions are valid doesn't mean all of us have to live with them turned into code.
If I needed a web framework, I would've used React. I don't use React not because I wrote my own framework. I don't need a framework, like at all. Unless you think that ~300 LOC utils.js file + no build system whatsoever is a framework that is.
Sorry, just encountered non-upper-snake-cased environment variables and wanted to vent.4 -
Are desktop PCs becoming a legacy, a history, just like floppy disks or CDs? Do you have one? Do you really need it?
I do have a decent tower pc in my balcony since last year. Haven't used it since early August and I honestly don't know what would I use it for once I bring it back in28 -
When I was younger I had a decision to go into hardware or software. I chose software and have loved it.
Recentily I just spent 5 hours trying install a Linux distro on an old server. I made no progress.
I made the right decision. Hardware freaking sucks! You spend hours working on outdated pieces of crap and find that to fix your problem you need to sell you kidney to finance your project. Not to mention you have to wait for literally everything! It's like gradel builds everywhere! Want to install a new distro on your USB? Bam, 5min gone. Want to boot into bios and change one setting? BAM! more time wasted...
A note to the sysadmins out there: thank you. I love you. I am so happy you do this kind of work so I don't have to.3 -
Woke up, worked out, went back to bed. (?? Yeah I'm surprised too) Slept for an hour, woke up again, worked tirelessly and finished the slides. (Not as easy as you think. Had to drag out and undust a few jupyter notebooks again, plus realized that the stupid past me has deleted a bunch of notebooks because of lack of space, and I had to remake one again.)
Now I have to figure out why google slides doesn't like to play my videos, and write my script (don't give me the "don't practice too much" bullshit or "don't need a script". That's for losers. You gotta practice enough that you can cite your presentation even if you got a concussion in the middle of the presentation. Plus, you can modify content in the middle of presentation based on the crowd vibe but you can't do that without knowing your script by heart, can you?) Aaaaaand what was I saying... I forgot... Geez ... Well, wish me luck. This week is gonna be tough. And next week. And probably the week after. Ew.4 -
I was wondering why my tutor needs a whole ass week to accept my MR.
Today he rejected one, so I got a chance to look at whatever he's doing.
He's checking line by line every single test I make and creates a variable for each dumb thing.
𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥).𝘵𝘰𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘌𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥)? No, this is bullshit.
𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘐𝘋 = 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥
𝘤𝘰𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥 = 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨.𝘪𝘥
𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘦𝘤𝘵(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘐𝘋).𝘵𝘰𝘚𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘌𝘲𝘶𝘢𝘭(𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘖𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘐𝘋)
I don't even know why you would take a week to accept a merge request when all you're doing is creating variables for things you use only once. I'm not even mad, I'm not ranting, I just need to know why would you do such a thing17 -
TL;DR Calendar services sucks.
Imagine yourself as startup. You don't want to spend fortune on paying $5 per user per month for Google Services. Also you don't want to pay that to Microsoft for O365. You want to run it itself because you already have droplet running with your other services (ERP for example. Funny story too btw.) Ok, decision has been made, let install something.
I have pretty good experience with OwnCloud from past as Cloud file sharing service. Calendar is not bad for single user purpose (understand it as personal calendar, no invitations to others, sharing is maximum I tried) What can possibly go wrong when I deploy that and use its Calendar?
Well, lot. OwnCloud itself runs well (no rant here) but Calendar is such pain in ass. Trouble is with CalDav under hood and its fragmented standards. So, you want to send invitation to your team for recurrent meeting. Nothing weird. It sends as one invitation to each one, good. Now you realize you have a conflict, so you need to change time of one occurence. Move it, send update. And here comes shitstorm. It is not able to bisect one occurence from series. So it splits it to separate events and send invitation for every single one. 30 INVITATIONS IN 2 SECONDS! Holy sh*t! You want to revert that. Nope, won't do. So you accept your destiny and manually erase every single one with memo in head about planning recurring events.
Another funny issue is when SwiftMailer library (which is responsive for sending e-mails from OwnCloud) goes to spamming mayhem. It is pretty easy to do. When e-mail doesn't comply to RFC, it is rejected, right? So if because of some error CalDav client passes non-compliant e-mail (space as last character is non-compliant btw) and SwiftMailer tries to send it to multiple recepients (one of them is broken, rest is fine), it results in repetitive sending same invitation over and over in 30 minute interval. Sweet.
So now I am sitting in front of browser, looking for alternatives. Not much to choose from. I guess I'll try SOGO. It looks nice. For now.5 -
So I'm making an app with a classmate at school, but there's one huge problem. All the PC's and laptops at school are shit. The ICT departement at my school blocks almost everything on them. I can't install any program, open any file and I can't even open the command prompt! So I can't install Visual studio or any other IDE and basically can't do anything besides browse websites that aren't blocked. And they expect me and my classmate to make an app. Fortunately, my classmate has a spare laptop we can use, but it's really difficult for two guys to code on just one laptop. I asked my school if they could buy new laptops or if they could remove they restrictions on two laptops, but they don't want to do any of those things and now we're stuck with just one laptop. I don't know what to do. I fucking hate this!
(This doesn't have anything to do with the topic of the rant, but I just want to complain.)
There are a couple more things I hate about my school. At my school, everyone is forced to use iPads. I don't know why they don't just give us laptops instead of iPads (maybe just because there lazy). So my iPad's headphonejack and homebutton where broken for no reason and I had to get it repaired. But instead of going to an apple store or a repair shop, you need to go to the school's ICT department and get it fixed there. If you don't do that and go to a apple store or something, they will take your iPad and keep it forever! Even though you pay €200 for it every year! Also, the ICT department at my school is lazy as hell! You expect them to repair the iPad themselves, but they just send it to a repair shop. So it wouldn't even matter if I would go to the store myself! 😠 And they even do a really bad job at checking if the device even works after the repair, because I needed to get it repaired three times in a row! And don't even get me started on the bad WiFi connection.10 -
You know shit is going to hit the fan if the sentence "c++ is the same as java" is said because fuck all the underlying parts of software. It's all the fucking same. Oh and to write a newline in bash we don't use \n or so, we just put an empty echo in there. And fuck this #!/bin/bash line, I'm a teacher. I don't need to know how shit works to teach shit. Let's teach 'em you need stdio for printf even tho it compiles fine without on linux (wtf moment number one, asking em leaves you with "dunno..") and as someone who knows c you look at your terminal questioning everything you ever learned in your whole life. And then we let you look into the binaries with ldd and all the good stuff but we won't explain you why you can see a size difference in the compiled files even tho you included stdio in the second one, and all symbol tables show the exact same thing but dude chill, we don't know what's going on either.
Oh and btw don't use different directory names as we do in our examples. You won't find your own path, there is no tab key you can press to auto-fill shit.
But thats not everything. How about we fill a whole semester with "this is how to printf" but make you write a whole game with unity and c#. (not thaught even the slightest bit until then btw)
Now that you half-assed everything because we put you in a group full of fucks who don't even know what a compiler is but want to tell you you don't know shit and show you their non-working unfinished algorithms in some not-even-syntax-correct java...
...how about we finally go on with Algebra II: complex numbers, how they are going to fuck up your life, how we can do roots of negative numbers all of the sudden and let you do some probability shit no one ever fucking needs. BUT WHY DON'T YOU KNOW EVERYTHING ALREADY HMMMMM, IT'S YOUR SECOND LESSON, YOU WENT TO SCHOOL PLS BE A MATH PRO ASAP CUS YOU NEED IT SO MUCH BUT YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW PROPER SYNTAX, HOW MEMORY MANAGEMENT WORKS, WHAT A REFERENCE IS AND PLS FINALLY FORGET THE WORD "ALLOCATION" IT DOESN'T PLAY A SINGLE ROLE YOU ARE STUDYING SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT WHY ARE YOU SO BAD AT ECONOMICS IT MAKES NO SENSE I MEAN YOU HAD A WHOLE SEMESTER OF HOW TO GREET SOMEONE IN ENGLISH, MATHS > ECONOMICS > ENGLISH > FUCKING SHIT > CODING SKILL THATS HOW THE PRIORITIES WORK FOR US WHY DON'T YOU GET IT IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE BRAH4 -
"Hey Boss, the things you are asking for will take one year to develop. Replacing the complete UI with another is not an easy task for our software [due to not having MVC or any kind of code modularisation]."
"Yes, but it needs to be done until november"
"We don't even now the requirements, yet. This will force the complete team into weekend and night shifts, to even get a first working prototype done! From my team lead I expect to be defended against such things!"
"Yes, but I need to make money!"
...5 -
Time to remove access to tfs for the BA. She started adding work for us for features that don't have their requirements gathered yet.
Another BA just sent us an email today about it with just a generic "we need this now" urgency with no description, no requirements, no real functionality defined. The other one had access to tfs because she was working with us on a project, and was helping out with requirements. But it seems she's forgotten that you can't just slap imaginary things in.4 -
I was told to build a logging app for one of the work streams on my project. The lead briefly brainstormed about the data fields they'd need to log and told me to go make it.
I am handing off the app and they ask me what they are supposed to put in each field.
Me: oh [team lead] just told me to put in these fields, but you guys are going to use it so why don't you tell me which fields you need and I can change it easily.
They refuse to tell me how to build the app they're going to use and will definitely complain about it not doing what they want later. -
Usually I use my laptop which has ubuntu installed but sometimes if I'm doing something for long period of time I use my desktop which has windows 7 installed. You know for games and shit.
Here is the bad part about all of this
*Rant incoming*
This fucking piece of shit ass licker. Deleted my entire god damn paths.
And if you don't know if you don't have the right paths you can't do shit basically. This fucking piece of smelly shit. DELETED THEM FUUUUUCJDUCKFUUUCKKKKFUUUUUCK NOW I HAVE TO WRITE ALL OF THEM AGAIN ?! FUCK YOU FUUUUUUCKKK GO SUCK A BIG DICK FOR MAKING A FUCKING SYSTEM MECHANIC THIS FUCKING FRAGILE. WHAT THE FUUUUCK AND ITS SO HARD TO FUCKING GET THE PATHS RIGHT TOO. SHITSHISHIT AND I CAN FORMAT TO A NEW OS BUT IF ITS WINDOWS I NEED TO INSTALL EVERY DAMN BIT OF DRIVER AGAIN FUUUUUCK THIS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT
linux i'm sorry I was cheating on you with that piece of shit cheap whore. You are the right one for me. Even though If I need to work hours to make a software work on you l, when you work you work for good, not like this piece of shit that decides to delete important information out of nowhere.7 -
Back in https://devrant.com/rants/5492690 @Nihil75 referred to SlickVPN with a link, where you can buy a lifetime licence for $20. I thought - what the hell.. I don't need a public VPN rn, but for $20 for a lifetime lic - I'll take it, in case I'll ever need one.
I had some trouble signing up - the confirmation email never reached my inbox. So I got in touch with support. And they.... generated and send me a password in plain-text.
And there even isn't any nagging requirement to change the pass after I sign in for the first time!
IDK... As for a service claiming to be security-oriented, the first interaction already screams "INSECURE".
Well.. should still be OK for IP switching, to unlock Netflix content I guess. Don't need anything secure for that 🤷
15 -
So I gave my younger brother my OnePlus One since he is now using an even older Google Nexus and don't care much for phones. The camera is slightly better basically.
Asked him to test drive it:
Me: so did you set it up yet?
B: nope, what's the rush?
Me: well you see it's running a custom OS (Lineage) as it technically doesn't support it. You need to test drive it and make sure it works with your SIM? May need to change some configs
B: sounds like a pain, should I just get a new phone?
Me: ... yes probably...
He's a just graduated CS major that doesn't like tinkering with tech...
(Well can I have it back then so I can play around with it?)9 -
As an -absolute beginner-, don't try to prove yourself by doing everything on your own after only a short explanation.
Rather ask as many questions as you need to finish it. One questions more now, saves 20 headaches later. -
Okay so for all of you who think that you can't do shit without stackoverflow. I'll tell you this, fuck SO. There's this ancient technique of programmers of old probably just about 20-25 years ago called RTFM. Why bother copy pasting some one else's spaghetti(that you might not fully understand) when you can write your own better code! (said in good faith). When something is behaving strange or you don't know what something requires just hit the docs or manual and read about the api because it is describes not only what it wants and needs but also what it does. So try this because it might have more information that you need than stack overflow might tell you12
-
Data representation is one of the most important things in any kind of app you develop. The most common, classic way to do it is to create a class with all the fields you want to transport, for example User(name, lastName). It's simple and explicit, but hell no, in my current company we don't play that kindergarten bullshit, the only way we know how to do things here is full hardcore. Why would anyone write a class to represent a Song, a Playlist or an Album when you can just use a key-> value map for pretty much everything? Need a list of songs? No problem, use a List<Map<String, String>>, OBVIOUSLY each map is a song. Need a list of playlists? Use a List<List<Map<String, String>>>... Oh wait, need to treat a value as a number and all you have are strings? That's what casting is for, dumbass.
No, seriously, this company is great. I'm staying here forever!1 -
WHY!
Email was invented a gazillion years ago and it's still a shiit experience to setup on linux. Just give me ONE complete package!!
nooo i need to get postfix, dovecot, spamassassain mailscanner, antivirus, opendmarc, opendkim, dovecot-managesieve dovecot-sieve, roundcube, database, webserver and then i still have to configure everything and setup certs, spf, dnssec, dkimkeys on the domains, domains, mailboxes, deny weak certs etc.
I know the whole do one thing and do that one thing well but how about you just be a mailserver and do that ONE thing well without me needing to putting all of the puzzle pieces together myself! I don't want to waste time setting all this shit up. and don't even get me started on symantec and live.com and their blocking!14 -
rant == false && help == true
I usually don't like posting non rant stuff here but I need help.
How do you usually design your service communication class?
I am working on a mobile app which contains talking to a REST service, I usually put all network calls in one class. Down side if it becomes a big class it becomes a pain to maintain. Any thoughts?
For a backend service I usually go with Repository design and it is working out well for me. But for mobile Apps I'd like to see if there is a better approach4 -
This goddamn obtuse motherfucker at this discord of this framework I'm trying to learn, who happens to be a mod.
I'm trying to explain my scenario to this guy (a very reasonable one in my opinion) but this motherfucker is giving me some sass saying I'm confused at very basic things or saying shit like "it's literally that simple", well ain't that a bitch.
He's doing half assed reading, and apparently he's alt tabbing to a videogame (as displayed by discord), so I guess he's not paying attention and reducing me to an idiot.
What am I supposed to do? Call him out and get banned?
No, I have to fucking shut up and stomach this idiot because I need to learn.
If you don't have much patience, you just can't be a mod and also respond to people. Just pick one.
Because people can't fucking call you out when you're being a douche.
Fuck this guy.1 -
I don't care about market cap. Stick your hype-driven business practices up your ass. Infinite growth doesn't exist. I won't read your fucking books and attend your fucking bootcamps and MBAs. You don't have a business model. Selling data is not a business model. Fuck your quick-flip venture capital schemes, and especially fuck your “ethics”.
I will be the first alt-tech CEO. I only care about revenue. The real money, not capitalization bubble vaporware. You don't need a huge fleet of engineers if you're smart about your technology, know how to do architecture, and you're not a feature creep. You don't need venture capital if you don't need a huge fleet of engineers. You don't need to sell data if you don't need venture capital. See? See the pattern here?
My experience allows me to build products on entirely my own. I am fully aware of the limitations of being alone, and they only inspire lean thinking and great architectural decisions. If you know throwing capacity at a problem is not an option, you start thinking differently. And if you don't need to hire anyone, it is very easy to turn a profit and make it sustainable.
If you don't follow the path of tech vaporware, you won't have the problems of tech vaporware, namely distrust of your user base, shitty updates that break everything, and of course “oops, they raised capital, time to leave before things go south”.
A friend of mine went the path I'm talking about, developed a product over the course of four years all alone, reached $10k MRR and sold for $0.8M. But I won't sell. I only care about revenue. If I get to $10k MRR, I will most likely stop doing new features and focus on fixing all the bugs there are and improving performance. This and security patches. Maybe an occasional facelift. That's it. Some products are valued because they don't change, like Sublime Text. The utility tool you can rely on. This is my scheme, this is what I want to do in life. A best-kept secret.
Imagine 100 million users that hate my product but use it because there are no alternatives, 100 people in data enrichment department alone, a billion dollars of evaluation (without being profitable), 10 million twitter followers, and ten VC firms telling me what to do and what data to sell.
Fuck that. I'd rather have one thousand loyal customers and $10k MRR. I'm different, some call it a mental illness, but the bottom line is, my goals are beyond their understanding. They call me crazy. I won't say it was never about the money, of course it was, but inflating your evaluation is not “money”. But the only thing they have is their terrible hustle culture lives and some VC street wisdom, meanwhile I HAVE products, it is on record on my PH. I have POTDs, I have a fucking Golden Kitty nomination on health and fitness for a product I made in one day. Fuck you.7 -
I'm migrating a site. I moved the host, I need to change DNS servers. It's protected with one time codes sent to an email I don't have access to. The guy who has the access disappeared without a word, it's been over two hours now. I CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT THOSE FUCKING DIGITS YOU FUCKER
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Believe it or not, I actually had a great day of development today and don't feel the need to rant about anything!
It was one of those rare days when everything went well, and instead of running into road blocks, you actually learn about things that open new doorways, and the one thing I did struggle with received an answer on Stack Overflow within minutes that was both exactly what I was hoping for and as a bonus, not even condescending.
Dang, dev doesn't get much better than this! ☺️ -
Question: Does using cookies for user session handling hinder the scalability of your backend because all the API's have to live on the same domain. Basically if one API starts to get a lot of request and you want to add another server to off balance the load you would have to add an entire webserver rather than just a small micro webserver with the API running on it mainly because cookies are used to authenticate user request and cookies don't survive CORS request. Am I right or don't know what the hell i'm talking about lol need some opinions I suggested we make all API's micro services and use JWT for user sessions12
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And here I am again, reading test cases that basically boil down to:
$testCase->foo = "bar";
$this->assertEquals($testCase, "bar");
$testCase2->foo = null;
$this->assertNull($testCase2->foo);
Why would anyone feel the need to write these kind of tests? They don't do anything. If I set up my mock a certain way, of course I will have that data, esp. if the unit under test only applies the data AS IS. (Funily enough through another component that already has the relevant dummy tests in place making these tests extra redundant and obsolete.)
You would think that one test case with dummy data suffices, yet no, there are like 30 examples that lie to you about apparent business logic cases, yet in the end the way you set up the mock decides what you will or won't get.
What's the point?6 -
Lead dev runs the program I gave him to set up a bunch of processes that run for one database.
It has a GUI that seems native to his windows environment......but it sort of is not.
The program runs, asks for the .csv file that is to be parsed into the database.
Lead dev: Ok, what is this though?
Me (his boss) "Don't worry about it"
Him: "Holy shit what the fuck is this??? TELL ME!!!"
Me: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
Him: "WTF DID YOU MAKE THIS IN???!
ME: DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT
CMS Admin (another one of my employees) "Would you TWO SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!?"
New Guy (mainly a frontend dev): ........
Meanwhile, in production, no one knows if your gui app is built in Lazarus and Free Pascal, as long as it works.
I really need to stop doing this to the lead dev, dude already keeps trying to choke me for writing things in perl.
On another note, Object Pascal is pretty cool. Might write a book on it for those that want to do CLI based applications on it, I have no clue why every book on the subject costs in euros, but there should be more shit written for beginners, language is awesome and one can get lots of mileage from Lazarus and FPC11 -
Hello guys, I really need some advice today...
I'm currently 18. I got accepted in two pretty equivalent colleges. One is in my city, 1h with the bus, and the other one is in another city.
Both are somewhat equivalent schools, the one in another big city is much nearer to other colleges I'd like to go to later (this one will last 2 years, then I'll have to go to engineering school for 3 years).
I have to decide monday where I'll go. It's horrible.. here, in my city, I have the person I love and the comfort of living by the parents (even tho it's a discomfort too). But the other city attracts me a lot too, independance does too.. it's horrible, I can't decide, I don't know if it's a good idea to leave, and I fear having regrets if I stay.
Have you some experience to tell me about? Some regrets you have? Or basically some advice?
It would help me so much, thank you!!8 -
My last rant did not go down well 😂
I need to clarify.
If you have no communication directly to another dev.... And your creation directly impacts theirs .... And you don't tell the middle man ... You are a twat especially if your aware of the launch that's basically right now !
To be clear.... This guy built their site and database everything .
I had to connect part of their new app to the site... A few pages they wanted in the app.
He changed the links ... On purpose I think to screw over the launch of the app to make me look bad
I can not communicate with him... The CEO hates him and won't talk to him either
So what am I to do?
Not be pissed off about a spiteful dickhead?
Of course I'm pissed
To make people understand you don't send out a lethal update that can fuck up the servers without telling no one... That their might be technical issues -
Hi there, I don't know what to do...
I got interviewed, and offered by two companies.
One startup, being around for 5 years, they loved me and they offered me a whole project to lead in a team of three, starting from scratch, in something that I am really interested in, plus the location is central and amazing.
The other one is a bigger company, located a bit far away from the city centre, the position is senior but not lead, is not an agency but they work on a huge range of products, so I will never get bored working on the same thing all the time.
Pay is the same, the first one I possibly could negotiate a bit more, the second one I can't for sure.
I am a hit scared of getting bored in the first one, even though I have been working on single products company all my life, now I wanted to change.
What do you guys suggest? Any other parameters I would need to consider?7 -
I'm refactoring one of our react apps. And want to kill people so much !!!! Why the hell do you write if true return true else return false ?!?!!! Decomposing coupled classes in independant on es doesn't work if they are still coupled !!!!! Reducers must be done in functional !!!!!!
If you can't write in english then don't FUCKING WRITE IN ENGLISH YOUR FUCKING COMMENTS !!!!!!!! Comments are there to help other to understand YOUR code, other need to be able to réas it !!!!!
WHY ?!?!?!
On the bright side it means some dojos....1 -
(This is the third time I'm talking about the same question I posted on stack overflow this week, but things keep happening that pisses me off)
Me: *answers my own question, clearly says I tried deleting the php path environment variable and that it didn't work, so that's why I added it back and now it's working perfectly*
Guy: *downvotes my answer* "you need to delete the php path environment variable, here's how"
M: "I did and it didn't work, that's why I added it back and now it's working"
G: "well, you need to delete the php path environment variable"
YOU MOTHERF-
G: "You need to check for all the references"
WERE? You literally only talked about environment variables, I told you I checked those multiple times. Obviously I don't know what I'm doing, if I did I wouldn't be asking such a stupid question like this one, so maybe a little guidance? I mean, isn't that what stack overflow is for? To guide people who don't know how to do something? Don't just say "your wrong" when I said MULTIPLE TIMES I did what you said and it DIDN'T WORK.
Seriously, asking a question there was the worst thing I did 😑
Anyway, he didn't answer back and everything is still working fine, with the php path.1 -
Nothing like client requesting "Hey can you add a virus scan for every goddamn file in the pipeline ? (We don't know what antivirus software you can use, neither do we know what are the consequences of this virus scan failing. We also don't know why a system admin is not doing this server wide instead of a software Dev doing it for this specific individual component. Heck we don't even know why do we need the virus scan in the first place) You might need to think 'outside the box'. Let's hope this is done by 12th Jan. Regards" on a Friday goddamn night
They probably even expect me to write my own antivirus software instead of paying for one
Why is industry like this ? Is there really any polite way to deny this ?15 -
This is not an ad!
But if anyone is in a need for a decent java profiler - here's yourkit's festive deal: https://www.yourkit.com/purchase/ (Personal)
You can legally use this licence for both personal and commercial needs. It's non-expiring. You can have up to 3 profiler copies simultaneously (deactivate one to activate another if all 3 slots are used)
I just thought some of you might find this useful. Since I'm a performance engineer I grabbed this deal as if it was the last one in the shelf :) The tool is good, the price is decent and it's for lifetime.
Again, it's not an ad. I don't care if you purchase it or not. I just thought I've come across smth nice and felt like sharing.2 -
Fuck this new fad of forcing you to open a new tab when you click on a link. I already have 40+ tabs do you think I need another fucking tab just for your shitty homepage? If I wanted to do that I would just fucking use command (cntrl) click. Stop forcing me. And fuck google especially for making this a thing with google drive and switching between accounts. I mean why the fuck do I need a tab of just the idiotic sheets homescreen (the one that doesn't even include my sheets)? And if I want to switch accounts why do you open the new account in a new tab? I don't want to have my old account up I wanted to switch that's why it's called switch accounts7
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High school robotics team. Total of three programmers and one coach who understands programming concepts, but not syntax or anything. One programmer, putting it bluntly, is incompetent and doesn't even bother to learn anything. The other one that isn't me is apparently fucking lead programmer and team leader (IM A SENIOR. SHES A FUCKING SOPHOMORE. WTF.) and she has done about 5% of the programming this year. I've done the rest with the help of a programmer from Ford whom we bring in. All she does is tell you to do shit for her, and if you don't, she pulls the authority card on you.
And I have maybe three days, after a full day of school mind you, until I need almost every part working on the robot code. Fuck me.1 -
One thing I don't understand, when I want to sign into iTunes Connect website, I have auto fill filling credentials, Apple first shows only email field, click next, then it shows password field, click next then you are logged in.
Why is it like this? Username and password are both filled, but yet need to click login twice to access my account -_-4 -
WFH is nice, esp when you can spare a separate room for work at your house/apartment. VoIP is also not a problem, it's even better is several ways than the real thing, as you can chat with multiple people at the same time without dragging them off their desks. Even better - screen sharing sessions.
However, there's one thing I don't understand.Why would anyone do video calls? I mean.. why...? What's the point? If I'm on metered network I'll be charged extra only because I'll have to stream out my ugly face to people who don't want to see it and stream in all the other ugly faces I don't want to see. My voice will become laggy, I'll miss out on some details, and all that because of some completely unnecessary overhead.
So why would you want me to enable my webcam? And why do you feel the need to show your face to everyone else? Why is this necessary...?21 -
Most awesome game ever! It mostly plays by itself and cheats... or maybe it a bug: You (as Autoplay) don't have to beat all the NPCs to advance....
Strangely it feels sort of familiar... O right bc I usually God Mode all games..... But still need to play thru them manually.
Also there's some Chinese left in one of the buttons... they forgot to translate... But maybe that's... Most of time all we care about is the graphics and seeing rank go up....
3 -
We have a delivery specification. It's documented and it tells every developer how deliveries have to be done. Every *FUCKING* *SINGLE* *STEP*. For most deliveries you don't even have to think much, just check the steps.
Why do I always stumble across deliveries that are missing vital parts so if you want to reconstruct some project status, because someone is on vacation or has quit, you can't or need hours of investigation? Am I a private investigator, or what?
Am I the only one who tries to make his work comprehensible? -
Start at the scheduled time. Don't, "give everybody a little time to join." You're just enabling shit behavior.
Never, ever ask, "who just joined?" when the join tone sounds on the call. If you need someone on the call, invite them, and address them directly by name. If you need to take roll, then call out names, one at a time. But don't do that either. Just do your meeting.
A meeting has a direct cost of the lost time of everyone on the call. Artificial delays for small talk or petty admin are a total waste of time and money. Keep it simple, on task, and as fast as possible.3 -
Friend (civil engineer) : bro do you have windows cd?
Me : no but why?
F: I want to format my pc.
M : then buy genuine copy.
F : don't want to waste money in that.
M : then don't cry for lagging windows 😂😂😂
F : do you have any cost efficient way?
M : yes ,but tell me one thing ,why do you need a computer?
F : browser , office , Dropbox ( cad installed in his desk which have genuine windows)
*After 10 minutes of conversation*
F: I will bring laptop , install Ubuntu in it2 -
God I hate vscode
it keeps giving me a pop-up telling me I don't have a php environment setup
I have no interest in using php. that's why I don't.
and now apparently the git interface got changed. I don't want stupid random changes
and frequently in some part of the IDE it'll say error but then not show up where the error file is for example
Microsoft bought GitHub and all the atom people said they were gonna kill atom and push their vscode, everyone called them paranoid, Microsoft released a statement saying they weren't gonna kill atom. a year later they killed atom. so now I have to use this stupid vscode shit. and if you go anywhere asking for an IDE suggestion and you mention "not Microsoft" the mods will literally ban you for "being political"
how about I just don't want a bloated goddamned IDE that I don't control
in atom I could just uninstall other languages packages. actually atom didn't even come with them, they were optional. vscode, like all other shitty ass IDEs, is increasingly coming with everything and the kitchen sink -- and only one version, Microsoft's, so if you don't like it fuck you
atom was so good because it was modular. they fucking killed it. and we're back to bloated shit. I guess because if shit is bloated you can argue "we need all this data from you" and so they fucking bloat to justify themselves15 -
Convo b/w me & lecturer.
Me: Is one line that explains exactly what it does okay?
Him: No.
Me: Okay I'll make it a paragraph explaining it a lot more in detail...Is that okay?
Him: Nope, you need to elaborate for laymen.
I don't know what more I can add. Sick of useless documentation. Any one else have this problem?1 -
client: "can you build out a staging server for us? here's all the code, everything you need"
me: "awesome, looking good, i have almost everything i need, just give me the credentials for the server, and I'll get started installing all the infrastructure"
client: "ok, try these!"
me: "doesn't work"
client: "this one?"
me: "doesn't work..."
client: "how about this one?"
me: "STILL NOT WORKING!!!"
imagine you want someone to do stuff on your server and you don't even know the root SSH password.... smh
why is this always a problem, use fucking 1password or something its 40 bucks a year, secure, and you can organize alllll your passwords. don't be a fucking boomer and write them on a piece of paper, or worse, apparently like my client, never know it or have it in the first place.5 -
That's a good one!
Sadly, in real life, I'm overly polite (working on fixing that dammit!!) and always trying to stay professional. I have a couple of coworkers who not only need a scolding, they need someone to beat their idiocy out of their little brains.
I have on occasions told some coworkers off when they were way out of place. A recent one: idiot PO trying to micromanage the dev team and thinking he's manager of the devs, came to me personally (sudden Slack call, no calendar invite) with some bullshit feedback about ̶c̶o̶m̶m̶u̶n̶i̶c̶a̶t̶i̶o̶n̶ CUMmNnicaTioN (I had to). Told him it's not his place to give me feedback and it's not his place to manage my time for me and ended the call aggressively which I don't prefer (it's always better to keep your cool and control your thoughts and words). My cholesterol level went up writing this.
Thank you and have a nice Monday!4 -
Rant to myself: Don't try to be too smart, you dipshit!
3 weeks ago I packed 2 small changes in one commit, because I was sure (and obviuosly lazy) that no one will ever need these special changes separate.
Guess what happened today? Right, I had to make a change on an old version and needed the one half of this commit.
Cherry-picking ended up in changes I don't need and furthermore some nice collisions.
Thank you very much, past me, for saving 2 minutes 3 weeks ago, which now wastes half an hour. -
What do you put on your website these days if you don't have a service to offer or recent projects to show off?
Imho portfolios are just weird (i'm also not in the need of one) and my domain choice (milotic.io) was made kinda drunken, too.
Any ideas?2 -
If a team uses multiple languages and stacks (Have, JS, Python) do you think it's better to have everyone use/constantly switch between them or have dedicated developers for each language (ie. 80% main, 20% others)?
--END QUESTION, ANSWER NOW BEFOREHAND CONTINUING---
---BEGIN RANT---
My boss likes keeping the team "will rounded" so everyone does everything. One month in working in Java, the next with Node web apps. When I switch to node, it takes like a week of "wtf doesn't it work.... what changed, is it a big?" And usually end it"oh right I remember I need to ..."
And also always... "How the fuck do I write tests in {some reading framework} again?"
So feels like everyone is just a generalist and no one is a master/has time to develop mastery. I don't know if it's just me (1/3 Senior developers on the team that has to do everything) or if I'm the only one that complains... Not that it makes a difference... (Only option to really be heard is to resign but I need to somewhere else to work and finding one is hard for personal reasons)
And well this is the biggest reason I would leave the team. No time for mastery, no standardization/shared knowledge (everyone does their own thing but probably not well and no time for testing or documentation; how the fuck does whatever you wrote work, how do we use it, what the fuck did you put in prod that does ... And where the fuck did you put it cuz it's not in ANY of our repos).
I always feel one day soon it will come crashing down and I can say "I told you so" but will then it's too late and I'll be there one cleaning it up... Again6 -
The taboo of not finishing.
(As I prefaced to many posts I made, don't take this too seriously)
It is very normal in the programming world to get recommended to finish projects.
But I was wondering "what if you don't?".
Of course, we can agree that having little patience or persistence is not good for any endeavor.
But what if this recurrent focus on finishing is also bad?
Granted, I have started dozens of things and only finished one or two of them and none have become popular.
So there's not a lot of support to back my take.
But I definitely learned a lot from these projects. And I definitely had a lot of fun at some points.
In fact, I think if I had switched more often early on I would have been less miserable, and maybe I would have learned more by the virtue of not getting stuck with some project.
Of course this applies as long as you stay within the same field; it doesn't help learning gardening one day but karate the following.
But even then, there are so many hobbies in life that the chance of finding the one that you love and are the best at are very slim. So switching out of the least pleasant ones might bring you to a favorite one.
But, let's go back to programming.
Here, people recommend finishing things as means to become profitable. If you want to live as a gamedev, then you need to sell games, and to do that, you need to finish games.
That is understandable.
But if gamedev isn't your main profit, why is finishing games a requirement?
What's the point of publishing a game that you know looks like shit?
Why? Why should you put time and energy, pain and stress, all the way through the end only to finish or even publish a game that you can feel ashamed of how awful it looks? (because most 1st games look awful).
Why would you ever want to finish something that looks horrible?
First tries are always terrible, and that's fine, nothing wrong with that.
What's wrong is this sheepthought that you should publish to the public every turd that you can produce in your early learning stages.
I've been a programmer for almost 8 years now. I'm not the best out there, but I consider myself ok.
And considering I had some pretty deep depression pits thanks to this mentality, here's my advice to folk having stress with unfinished projects: don't give a single fuck.
If a side project has become stressful, shelf that shit, maybe tell someone about your issues with it. But don't care much about it.
In fact, if you manage to finish a project but it has costed you a great deal of stress, maybe that should be the shameful thing.
Life is too short to waste it considering suicide because you're not a prolific programmer.
And i would argue that iterating 100 times on different things is far more productive (and fun) than fetting stuck or spending shitloads of time on the first one, even if you don't finish any of them.2 -
The moment is see the codes elongate past the 120 character guide line on my team's project, I don't need to git blame, I know I can't be the one who wrote the code.
Why the fuck will you expect the rest of the team to scroll horizontally while reading a code?
I'm gonna use my IDE auto-format on the code, I don't care if I was supposed to work on that file or not.5 -
What's with so many developers using shitty hardware? It's literary the one tool you need for your profession, there should be absolutely no objection to having the best one available. Stop bitching about some software using 50% of your CPU when you're on the bare entry-level HW ffs! And don't give me that "can't afford it" bullshit. If you take your car to the repair shop, you're also paying for the tools needed for the job; the same way, your customers need to pay for the tools you need as a developer. If you can't afford that, there's clearly not enough demand for the work you do, so go find a different job.11
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Fuck people who don't back up their statements with arguments. Fuck smug tunnel-visioned cocksuckers who think that any technology or language not used or liked by themselves cannot be put to good use. Like I need your fuckface stamp of approval to use whatever I want.
Fuck people who get defensive if you ask them to bring an argument to the table. Instead of putting their singleton of a neuron to work to find ONE reason, they immediately assume the butthurt posture and go all righteous on you saying shit like 'learn to code' or 'this is not the 2000s anymore.'
This is not the youtube comment section, so act accordingly. If you take a shit on something without saying why, prepare for shit coming you way.
Eat shit and die.1 -
I hate that when developing on Windows I need like four different terminals. CMD, MINGW64/Cygwin/MSYS2, PowerShell. Each one has different functionality:
CMD - basic Windows commands
MINGW64 - emulates Linux terminal with frequent Linux commands and great support for Git
Powershell - access Windows COM, .NET etc.
Now there are solutions that attempt to solve this like Cmder (which is just more user-friendly ConEmu). These are console emulators which wrap all these in one window (with multiple tabs). But they are slow as hell. I have to wait like 10 seconds each time I start a terminal in Cmder, because the emulators need to run some huge startup scripts. But I just need to run one command from this one freaking folder!
Eventually I end up having like 30 different terminal windows open, each one different in functionality and each time I need to do something I must think about which terminal I need and in which folder. Furthermore I have to think about whether to run the terminal as administrator, but I usually forget that, so I have to close the terminal and reopen as admin. Why don't you just add something like su or sudo, Microsoft?
9 -
Why the fuck does Windows still not have a fcking decent package manager?
I hear you "but but but, there is Chocolatey, it's great, try it!". Well yeah if you only want binaries.
But I do need to, you know, develop and compile things, and without includes, code, and a reliable way to produce working binaries from that, it's useless.
Guess who needs to download dependencies one by one, compile them one by one?
Don't get me started on broken MinGW, or the "recommended" way of doing a bat script to have proper includes (what the hell, that's the entire purpose of env variables), or the fact that there is NO convention on where to install things.1 -
I don't really remember... That can mean one of two things... It was to long ago... Or don't know how to do it yet... I do remember my first programming class, when my teacher said, "you just need to do a printf ..." And I asked, "what is that?" He looks at me, eyes wide open, for a huge amount of time, and then left without answering...
a side note, it was university class.1 -
"Ughh, you're such a lazy person. Why don't you finish it instead of making me do everything afger I asked YOU to do it"
I am so fucking done playing family technicman for you. I copied all of your data from your old phone to yojr new one. I set up everything except personal accounts because I respect privacy. You only need to insert your damm sim card.
And don't you even try giving me that "I tried but could not do it, it's just to complicated"
I could buy the same phone, throw it at you and pay the lawyer if I would get one cent for each time you said that.1 -
Is it just me, or do other people feel like mysqli prepared statements like to never work the same way twice?
I just finished a 3 hour debugging session where the prepared statement just didn't work. Then, just moments ago, I commented out an "echo" that has nothing to do with the fucking statement! And guess what? It works.
one moment please, I need to let my anger out.
GAAAAAAAA YOU FUCKING STUPID COMPUTER! YOU SON OF A FUCKING BITCH!
and to the people who made mysqli...
I HATE YOUR FUCKING LANGUAGE SO MUCH RIGHT NOW!
*sigh*
Ok, I'm back.
Anyways,
I don't know how, but I think php can smell anger and loves to make life miserable.
Please tell me I'm not the only one. -
Do technical recruiters think that developers memorize the technical definitions by heart instead of using them in a seamless way?
What do they want? A dev who knows how to memorize or the one who knows how to implement.
I am really angry and i feel so uncomfortable when they ask me about a specific question and consider it wrong when they don't receive exactly the same answer.
Like one the recruiter told me: well how are you expecting from me to accept you as a developer while you don't know the definition of "technical term".
Dude i learned the hard way by building projects, watching videos, implementation, analysis. I am not going to read 70000 pages to understand the root of a coding language.
You fuckin need the output so focus on this shit.
Damn i feel so angry. Sorry in advance2 -
What the fuck is up with all these vpn articles. It seems like they are everywhere. It's like get this vpn, no buy this one, wait no buy this one. Like I don't need a fucking vpn and it's not a must have.4
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When you have a coworker who is not healthy (extremely obese) and you walk past their office. You notice they may have their eyes closed. Are they asleep? Are they dead? I need to leave work ASAP as I don't want to be the one to find out...
Anyway, I hope not. Would make for a shitty start to the weekend. I also don't think he and his family would like that weekend either.
I feel for the guy, he had a family member commit suicide. I think it fucked him up and he either reached for the bottle or for food. Either of those would make you unhealthy and could make you fat. I think a lot of people hide a lot of pain in their lives behind faux smiles.5 -
I don't have any experience with cloud providers and I need to get a server for a project.
The website will be up for 3 weeks, access will probably be very uneven, the total user count is somewhat below 2000.
The site will probably be quite interactive and real-time, content may be changing every few seconds for an hour and then remain unchanged for days. I will also need either SSE or websockets for this reason.
What should I consider when selecting a cloud providers? Do you have a good one? My ideal provider would scale resources according to traffic like I've heard AWS does, but I want to hear your opinion first especially considering I know very little about how server load works.1 -
My main problem with programming on android phones(not for android) is it's keyboard, almost none of default layouts don't have the needed buttons(i.e. ; [ ] ( ) ...), I managed to find a good one "Hacker's Keyboard", 5 rows almost every button(even shift, ctrl and arrow keys). But here's the problem with this: it's buttons width is very low on portrait mode, on landscape, even if you're used to lanscape typing, you won't be able to see shit because it's covering most of screen.
"Hey, what about an external keyboard", well it's not totally a bad idea, but you would need a stand for your phone, and if it's connecting via usb and not bt, you have to buy a usb2[yourPort] convertion, besides I want to hold my phone while typing "How about you make you make your own bt/usb attachable mini keyboard for your phone.", Wow that's a very good idea, it would take maybe a year to make it, but maybe instead of making the whole thing myself I can buy a mini keyboard and make the attaching part myself, it can't be THAT hard, right? Need a 3D printer(√), need time(have alot of it), need to design it(no problem), now start... uhhh nevermind, who am I kiddin', I won't be able to make such a thing, just use that "Hacker's Keyboard".24 -
Why the fuck is everyone behind this whole privacy thing . I mean what did you expect , servers do cost... you know . No one wants to provide you a service to chat with your shit collecting butler in the adjacent room unless it's going to benefit them .
Stick your face on the internet and want people to date you ?
Understand that your virtual social needs need to be supported by a ridiculous amount of electricity and man power which wouldn't be required if you could just throw out your rotting willie nilles in the open .
All this isn't fucking free .. wait were you shocked ? Oh so you just thought there were a few thousand servers powering buckets of pictures of horse poop that you for some reason thought your girlfriend was interested in . NO!
IT'S PRIVACY you are paying with your gaddamn privacy !! Information pays just like the time you paid a 100 bucks to the boyfriend of your girlfriend to find out more details .
Ridiculous . You people don't like ads . You don't like paying . You don't like providing information . THEN DON'T USE THE DAMN INTERNET .
IF YOU'RE REALLY THAT CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR PRIVACY THEN SPEND SOME VALUABLE TIME TO ACQUIRE ENOUGH OF A SKILLSET TO SETUP A VPN AND STOP POSTING YOUR PHONE NUMBER ON YOUR EX'S WALL ASKING HER TO CALL YOU.
One more honest thing to rant about is ads . As much as you hate them they're an easy way out . I'm not sure why a 20 second ad would bother you on mobile and not on television and I'm not sure why you wouldn't buy the ad company and shut it down if 20 seconds were so costly to you .
I want to rant even more on uninstalling services like Windows and Google for stupid reasons but I'll take a break here . My frustration has touched low levels.13 -
It really grinds my gears when new hires just start adding themselves to every fucking slack channel and then start crapping up the channel history with irrelevant chatter.
Business Analysts and Project Managers do not need to be in #developers sending mock-ups to a UI/UX designer for one team, or posting an xkcd strip you found on the internet because you "got it" and you think you are proving that you are one of us by posting it there. This channel isn't a fucking club, its where ALL developers at this company across all teams share tools and practices for us to maintain consistency and best practices and to improve our craft, or to give a heads-up about vulnerabilities.
There is a specific channel for your role, and your project. You don't need to be everywhere and in every conversation. And for fuck's sake, PLEASE stop @someone adding people to these channels just because you think you saw something in there posted by someone else that they should see. You can just fucking share that message directly with that person, or in another channel.8 -
So I recently purchased Ark and I gotta say I can totally recommend single player/ local multi.
It's not exactly stable. And non-dedicated private servers are pretty limited. But it's fun nonetheless. The animals are neat, the landscape is gorgeous, and the base building is interesting and intuitive.
One of the things I don't exactly love about Minecraft is that your shelter doesn't matter much. Build some walls to keep the mobs out and you're good. But Ark is much more hostile. You need to avoid cold, and rain, and heat, and big Dino's that want to bite you and stomp you. So your shelter actually protects you.
Not only that but materials are so easy to get in Minecraft. You can have a full house by the end of your first day, easily. But Ark makes resource collecting difficult. You need some dino companions to hold your stuff because it becomes too heavy for you alone. And it takes days, maybe even in-game weeks to build a suitable house. And you can spend much, much longer making it more than just a wooden box.
Cool game! Definitely in my top 3 right now.6 -
I‘m currently trying to get an SFTP user for our school's webspace (preinstalled WordPress, don't hate it - it's "great" for non-"it" people) and our network administrator means that he can't create one for me because I would have access to all files on the server.
WTF, you can create SFTP users on Linux and restrict their access and even set a home directory.
Yeah, now we need to forget about themes and plugins in WordPress.
(He said that he also can't create an FTP user)1 -
DREAM 1
(my comments look like this)
A kikiland metro system. It's extradimensional and shapeshifting. When you enter it, it adapts to your needs. The people inside (they're probably just vinyl shells), the social circumstances, all generated for you.
When you enter it, it knows where you want to go. It spawns exactly one train just for you. It will be the first, it will be the last. You have to catch it to go where you need. If you miss it, there will be no more trains, and you have to wait till the metro station closes for the night and reopens.
It's always you entering, catching the train that arrives just in time, going to where you need to go and exiting.
Because of its extradimensional nature, you cannot agree to meet someone there — every person has their own personal metro generated just for them every time, with exactly one train going exactly to the station you need.
It's used by BLA as a form of control. When they don't want you to go somewhere, the train won't spawn. Or, it might diverge and get you to some other place. It isn't known whether the map can be altered on the fly or not. So far, the consensus is that the map is persistent and is a public knowledge, and it's just the metro itself that is extradimensional. But, no one ever saw the real metro in its real form, and not the top layer that protrudes into the three-dimensional world you can interact with. It might be the case that they can make people disappear by creating ad-hoc stations that don't intersect with the real world, trapping them in places that are nowhere in particular.
(it took seeing BLA once in one dream to make all the following dreams include them. Sigh.)
Kikiland also has a school, and it always had it. I befriended a chemistry teacher there. His classroom is small — exactly as deep as other classrooms, but really narrow. There are no desks there, just his desk and some bookshelves. Chemistry isn't a priority there — his class exists only because it should. No one attends it. This is why he was so pleased to meet me. Despite his classroom being located on a busy floor, its door is overlooked by students, and NO ONE ever enters it. He just sits there, waiting for students to arrive, but they never do.
He has a secret, though, because of course he does. In the game Control, if you complete the main storyline before you complete some side quests, one of the main characters will be sitting in the C-suit hall, doing her things, waiting for you to come and talk to her. But at the same time, she will be waiting for you deep down the oldest house's mines, again, just sitting there, waiting for you to take the quest. This teacher is the same.
If you have a good relationship with him, and you attend his class, the classroom will change to a tunnel entrance, with him being the security guard. He's your friend, he'll let you in. It looks like Fallout's vault entrance. THIS is how you enter the REAL kikiland metro. (Dream 1 ends here.)
Episode 2
Tiny waterborne rat puppies whose mouth is their entire face unfolding like a piece of paper with teeth covering it as a grid. (I wrote about them already, but here they are again.) They are _tiny_, a bit like tadpoles. Also, like tadpoles, they die if you touch them out of water. As I was flying over some mountain resort (I routinely fly in my dreams, but it feels more like a very low gravity falling I can control, like using a parachute in GTA San Andreas), I dumped them to a location that resembled the garden level of Prince of Persia: Warrior Within for my cat to eat. It didn't want to. -
All parts of the body were having a meeting one day to choose who should be tagged as the leader.
Legs: We should be in charge because we literally carry the whole body the entire day, and without us, nobody is going anywhere.
Asshole: Without me, we cannot get rid of all the things we don't need anymore. I deserve to be in charge.
Brain: Hold up, guys, hold up. Feet, you can't move unless I tell you to move, and you can't even figure out how to put one foot over the other. Asshole, all you do is open and close; you don't even know how things are made. You have nothing to say here.
(The feet agreed, but the asshole took it personally. So he decided to go on strike and stop working for three days. The entire body went into chaos, and they pleaded with the brain for several hours.)
Brain: Okay, Asshole! You can be in charge.
The moral of the story is that sometimes an asshole is in charge not because they're the smartest ones for the position, but because sometimes assholes are in positions of power.1 -
Everytime I wake up,
I question whether if I'm stuck in time or not. All my life I've wanted to go out and explore, not be isolated in this tiny place called home that I knew far too well.
I wanted to be in a place with a different timezone, a place with languages that I don't know. That's where I want to go.
I feel as if everyday remains the same and I'm slowly going insane. I want to run, too see, to feel a different kind of breeze.
Yet there's so many limitations and hindrance; Money, that's all I need, money that I don't have. It's so sad that something that's claimed to be insignificant for happiness could limit you from so many things.
The things that will make you happy, the things that will make you learn.
All because of one stupid limitation and all your dreams, crash
and burn.6 -
One thing I realized about my workplace: when you're given a new template to be used for an existing website project, do NOT use the included CSS files. Seems like it would be better to just manually change the looks of the website to make it similar to that template, lest you want some alignment stuff to break.
Plus, it seems that I don't even need to meet all the design requirements, because whenever I try to do that, clients tend to forget the design they originally gave and request for all these changes.
One more month... One more month and I'm off to bootcamp to properly learn.1 -
One of my seniors is leaving the team. Honestly, I did not talk about personal stuff with him but during this lockdown, he was the only one whom I talked to this much. My most projects are with him, so in the team I kind of only know him. And now he is leaving, I feel so heavy.
I was anyway feeling no interest in my work, and now this, I really don't want to work at all. I don't want to be in this team, really without his guidance I can't do good. And this reminds me now I don't have anyone in the team to guide me. It's the same feeling as you get old and now no one to support you and you need to support yourself and slowly others. It's frightening.
On a good note, I hope things will turn out to be good for him, he's a nice person after all :) Everyone respected him, and he was trusted so much.2 -
Anybody has a good recommendation for a laptop for mostly full stack web development?
I think I should look for following features:
- minimum 16G ram
- Althought is 2021, just in case, I add: usb C to connect to a dock with two screens and SSD
- I'll run several docker containers at once
- time to time I make non-exhaustive work on c++
- good screen dpi
- I use linux
- portable. No need for the lighter in the market but easy to carry in a bag. Good battery.
- not too expensive
I can save on:
- I don't need the latest processor, just a good one
- I'm not a gamer. I not need the latest GPU. However, some GPU is appreciated. I don't need colorful leds neither.
Do you have any recommendations on laptops and/or features to search for/avoid?8 -
Well today i went to grab a coffee at starbucks saw my best friend working decided to buy him one too i sit down we start talking and i saw him using visual studio code and asked him why don't you use vim and answered "vim is for programmers that don't know what to do with their life and cant decide what ide they like" i didn't think twice and slapped the shit out of him fuck him. I think i might need a new best friend.12
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I've been trying Flutter the past 2days. I liked how amazing Flutter framework is but I also hated how UGLY the Dart language is. First of all, I've been doing Java(Android) and JSX(React). So, after coming from these languages, Dart seems awful. Here are the things that I hated the most:
1. JSON parsing: The worst part of Flutter/Dart. No GSON/Jackson equivalent. not even possible to make one as described in the doc
2. Redux for flutter. I tried and I hated it. So, Tried some other state management libs
3. the way static functions are written in a class
4. Widgets hiarachy
5. Ambiguity - "this context is not the context we need, we need that one to make it work. so, pass that even when you don't have it" (if you have used flutter, you will know what I mean)4 -
For me Jetbrains idea based IDE/editor in part does just about everything right. Only need to really change the redo shortcut. They provide a warning now so you don't lose your undo history on ctrl+y.
On console both Emacs and vim work for me. These days I prefer vim. Nano will work when I'm a pinch but the lack of undo is really annoying. Especially when the cat walks over the keyboard. You just need start all over unless you can see what he did.
Vim has vertical block so you comment/uncommented stuff real fast. The cange word and change till are also real time savers. Vi is to basic and annoying for me, rather use nano than.
Gedit works great for me when viewing or editting a file real quick.
So yeah the situation dictates what tool suites the best.
Idea is where I can spend my time the entire day so if I had to choice one that would be it. -
How do you implement TDD in reality?
Say you have a system that is TDD ready, not too sure what that means exactly but you can go write and run any unit tests.
And for example, you need to generate a report that uses 2 database tables so:
1. Read/Query
2. Processor logic
3. Output to file
So 1 and 3 are fairly straightforward, they don't change much, just mock the inputs.
But what about #2. There's going to be a lot of functions doing calculations, grouping/merging the data. And from my experience the code gets refactored a lot. Changing requirements, optimization (first round is somewhat just make it work) so entire functions and classes maybe deleted. Even the input data may change. So with TDD wouldn't you end up writing a lot of throwaway code?
A lot of times I don't know exactly what I want or need other than I need a class that can do something like this... but then I might end up throwing the whole thing out and writing a new one one I get a clearer idea of what i or the user wants or needs.
Last week I was building a new REST API, the parameters and usage changed like 3 times. And even now the code is in feasibility/POC testing just to figure out what needs to be used. Do I need more, less parameters, what should they be. I've moved and rewritten a lot of code because "oh this way won't work, need to try this way instead"
All I start with is my boss telling me I need an API that lets users to ... (Very general requirements).10 -
As someone who isn't very good at actual design or implementing design very well, I usually have to start with a template for admin dashboards on my sites. Which means I have to deal with bootstrap. I've come to life with that fact. But what I can't stand is getting these templates and the HTML is so bad, all I see are flying v's! Don't these people know that you don't need 12 levels of divs? And for fuck's sake, run your code through HTMLTidy! Thank God I didn't pay money for this one.
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I need some help from some experienced people like you..
I'm 23 and since 15 March I've changed job. I moved to an another company (not too far away from the older one) because I needed to move on.
Since I left the older job, my ex-boss told me that he would like to have my help if he needed. I answered him with a: "I need to think about it".
After the last meeting (my last day) my ex-boss asked me some help every week.
I've answered him for some simple request, like: " I need some info on this project e blah blah blah"
Now he asked me to go to my older office to talk about an older project that I made.. I probably know that this time, this request is a big one.
I'd like to stop this circle, because I do not have time and I'd like to stay free of mind.. I know that I shouldn't answer him at the first request but.. This is the situation.
How I can stop him (in a good way) to make me this kind of requests?
These requests are not paid to me, but I don't want to collaborate with him anymore so I don't wanna his (eventually) "extra money".
It's my first experience (I've changed company just once) and this situation is a kind of " break up with my girl".. I do not know how to move.
Can you help me, guys?5 -
some languages completely get lost in minutiae, disposable preciousism that looks pretty but mischievously gobble development cycles. Now, there's no doubt they make for skinnier, trustworthy, low maintenance code, yes, congratulations Haskell. Although, you see, Haskell, not every language out here is defacto an academic one. You hear me, Rust. So, for fuck sakes, Rust dear. You've macros, sis, you don't need a new languages feature every other naughty day. You need prototyping speed, not more complexity. I'm not complaining not really.... It's your fucking language server, your compiler... They can't take this shit no more. Have you seen their overeating problems? Please, Rust, stop picking plastic surgery instead of make-up and use macros instead
--
and google, dear, your auto completion sucks ass1 -
!question
Okay, so I was wondering if there are any dutch people here who work with C#. I'm in my last year and need to do one final internship but I'm having trouble finding one since I don't care much about web dev. I prefer developing apps and games which is why I went for a course in app dev but the only thing we've been doing is developing shitty websites and I've lost interest in it.
In my last internship I was working on a serious game which recruiters used for the pre selection of people who applied for a job. That was written in C# in unity and was definitely interesting to say the least.
So my question is if any of you have any ideas on where to take my last internship?23 -
Any advice for finding a remote job? I don't *need* a new job, but I'd like one, and I'd like it to be remote because I live in the middle of nowhere and don't want to move.
I occasionally work from home, but the biggest problem I face is when asked, "have you ever worked remote before? working from home isn't the same..."3 -
If you want to be strictly vegetarian, e.g. only eating plant-based food, and you have a nervous system (e.g. you're not a vegetable), then that's not possible. You need B12.
B12 is complex, and it can't be found in plants — lifeforms that obey laws of evolution don't just spend energy to create a complex substance they don't need. Plants don't have a nervous system, hence no need for B12.
In animal kingdom, there are no animals that are only eating plants. Not a single one of them. Herbivores eat their feces regularly, as B12 is there, but it's synthesized in our bodies at the point when there is no chance that it can be consumed.
Deer eat lemmings on a regular basis. Among herbivores, this is not uncommon.
If you want to be strictly vegetarian, and you don't want to eat B12 from supplements (because it's derived not from plants as you probably guessed), you can make it happen with certain kinds of fermented food, where B12 is synthesized by specific bacteria.23 -
I don't know why it happen. Windows update then Windows create a TEMP Users Folders, put all the documents/download/etc location (path) into one of those temps users folder that was just created. Hopefully my clients didn't lose their files, since the Good users folder was still there.
Okay now Microsoft, listen, it's okay to update your OS. It certainly need it. BUT HOW THE FUCK WOULD YOU CREATE A NEW USERS AND CHANGE THE PATH OF PERSONAL FILES! Thumb up! At least those file were not erased... -
Why do I feel like if you don't serve everything up on a pladder for the product owner / product management types, that they'll never find something as simple as a build executable the pipeline produces? Just more busywork for the competant ones to do...
haha flashback to the startup days when _i_ was the one acting as scrum master for the clowns who couldn't even do something as simple as set the release notes in apple and google stores. they truly need to be spoon fed everything. fucking incredible. -
tl;dr Which new laptop + Linux distro combo should I get when seeking for minimal configuration and maintenance hassle?
Hey devRant gang!
I'm looking for a new laptop: which one is supported out-of-the-box by Ubuntu based Linux distros like Elementary OS?
Why Elementary OS you ask? Well, I want to move away from macOS and/but keep the minimal (and pretty) design/interface!
But: I don't want to waste time configuring stuff after install or a kernel update. I don't have time for that: I need to get shit done.
As much as I dislike closed source/evil corporate stuff the fact of the matter is that my MacBook Pro Just Works (and lets me get shit done).3 -
> Colleagues complain all the time about dumb shit which have no relevance whatsoever to the job (see my "cat in voice call" post): I get scolded, I need to change
> I complain for the first time in 2 years about relevant stuff which actually matters to the job (some guy collecting bad decisions one after the other): I get scolded, I shouldn't trash talk colleagues
The key lesson I'm learning here is how everyone is allowed to do everything towards everyone, everytime, but by God don't you dare doing it about what should be relevant about your fucking job. We don't do that here.1 -
I need to write code for mini sumo robot and have no idea how to start. I don't know any programming language so which one can be good to start? If You have any good courses or something like that I'll appreciate. My friend told me that Python is good option, some people from YouTube said same thing, is that right? Robot is built on Arduino Uno but I can use my Raspberry Pi3 as well if it makes any difference.3
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It started when life caught me off guard. It was one of those transition moment when you realized you are no longer a college student and you need to get a job.
I was clueless that time (still clueless - smh) that I didn't prepare my CV nor interviews. I got into panic mode and ask help from career service in my college (I rarely ask for help, and when I did that, I am really desperate).
Long story short, I got a job from the career service's connection. I don't think I did well in both the interview and technical test (of course, no prep or whatsoever, what do you expect?) but seems like we both in need of each other (maybe because my grades when I was in college is good... and maybe because my starting salary is low enough... and maybe because there was no better candidate at that moment) that I get picked.3 -
I'm pretty sure we don't need to use brackets and semicolons anymore. Newer versions of gcc bitch when you mess up tabs, which shouldn't matter in C/C++ because of brackets/semicolons, so why require the tabs and newlines?
On the flipside, if we're requiring tabulation and newlines nowadays, why use brackets and semicolons? Just Python it up and you won't have issues where you mess up and add/omit a semicolon/bracket and break EVERYTHING!
"It's so you can write it all on one line"
I have yet to meet anyone that masochistic.6 -
I'm sure it already happened to you :
- Me : I don't know if it's a good idea to make this feature, it will take me hours and may impacts the stability of the app. We are only at one week of the release...
- PM : But the users really need this.
- Me : hum ok...
*Five minutes later, find out it takes only two lines of code to do it*
Me : I did my best and the feature is ready !
*Fortunately no one will check the svn logs :D*2 -
The SIM card saga goes on:
To verify yourself, you need to go to some postal office and show them your ID and stuff. Not that this is complicated or anything (well actually, it is. Welcome to 2018 in Germany. We use more papers than potheads for the simplest shit), but you need to have a valid ID. Valid as in NOT EXPIRED. What the fuck. Why does my ID expire. Do I stop existing 3 years after getting it? What does it mean if it is, why is it culpable to have your ID expired. And who gets charged for having none, I mean obviously my ID doesn't identify me anymore?
What the hell man. I don't exist for 6 months now. Am I law free as not identifiable entity or how does it work?
And now the real question:
We got something called Bafög in Germany. Basically you get a bit money while studying. (I still work tho, I don't get really much from it.)
To apply for it, you need some tax number, which seemingly can be seen as a proof of my existence and my identity.
Why is this enough, why don't I need a valid ID there?
Germany is weird man. On the one hand government is all social and you get help if you need it but on the other hand you need to sacrifice 17 virigins to apply for said help..2 -
I get so tired of people hating on PHP, Javascript and promoting Python or C#/Java.
Python is basically Perl with slightly different syntax plus has py2/py3 issues. And suffers from pip like js does from npm.
Java/C# started as application languages, while PHP started in web servers (again from Perl but at least it now has full object support). So comparing apples and oranges is one thing.
Another one is that people don't seem to know much about PHP / js (and tbh not even about the languages they are promoting) when they try to hate. That just comes off as lazy and borderline idiotic. Don't be that guy.
If you have had a bad experience, maybe you need to open the documentation instead of copying code from stack overflow.
Again, lazy and unprofessional.
Devs are supposed to be able to find the most efficient solution, that takes as little code as possible, not as little time from them when they arent familiar with the subject.
Damn Im angry right now, this rant really worked me up! :D6 -
there is time when you're bored to death and you don't have any project ro work on, and again there is time when you have plenty of projects offer started.
BOTH CONDITION SUCKS,
I'm only one person who need atleast 4 hour of sleep -
God damn it, Gatling. Why didn't you put your fucking command line argument passing at the front of your docs instead of being buried under 'cookbook'? It's not a fucking recipe! it's core mother fucking functionality! "how do I run this command-line utility from the command-line by script?". "I don't know, maybe I should check the fucking cookbook since apparently it's not basic functionality that LITERALLY everyone using the fucking product will need!
So now I have to go back and parameterize one of the sims I've built AFTER I've mimicked our entire performance test matrix! FUCK! -
Ranters, I need help
Does anyone know how can I run something as a systemd service and still have access to the "console" - the input and output of the program, when I need it?
(It is a minecraft forge server and there are multiple people managing the physical server and one of them managed to corrupt the map yesterday by rebooting the machine without stopping the minecraft server... so there comes the need for a service so it can shut down before the machine reboots... but I also need the access to the console of said minecraft server because sometimes when some modded items are misbehaving the rcon will stop responding while the console still works)
Edit: currently I am running the minecraft server in a detached screen (ddg "screen linux" if you don't know what I am talking about)5 -
Since I lack proficiency in Object Oriented Analysis and Design and Datastructures and Algorithms and this has caused me many problems at work, I must review these.
You'd think you don't need to know the 'dry theoretical matter' as they say, oh but you do.. I found out first hand at one of my tougher programming jobs where you have to create everything manually.
And now, looking at my entire first and second year of university courses regarding this matter.. the amount I have to study is enormous. Datastructures and algorithms alone: 1000+ page book + 500+ slides.. and that's only fresh man year! Yep.
I could say there's a way around it but.. I don't really think there is. If I keep just knowing the basic programming concepts, I won't get far. I need to dive deeper.
Until I master this material, it will keep haunting me in programming jobs.
The frustrations of a developer..7 -
fn key is the most evil shit key from hell
no matter where you put it, there is no layout in which you don't keep hitting it instead of something else.. It's not like you need most of the F# keys anyway you can just as well have the functional keys without this abomination.. or here's one: how about making a fucking mapping hm? To inventor of fn key: "You can suck my balls!"1 -
!rant
Just finishes my ITIL course (basically IT support management). It was pretty interesting, if somewhat irrelevant to me, but I got paid to do it (and get a qualification) so that's fine.
My issue was with one specific thing the instructor said - 'IT support always complain people who can't fix basic issues shouldn't be allowed to use computers. Wrong. Customers don't need to know anything about IT, that's your job'.
His analogy was that we can drive, or cook with a microwave, but we don't know how cars or microwaves actually work in at a technical level. In the same way, customers can use Word, but need us to recover their deleted files and install Office.
This seems sensible, but if you follow the analogy, there's a disparity.
I might not be able to *fix* a microwave, or know how the components inside it work. I can, however, cook with it. I know it won't work if the door isn't closed, or if it isn't plugged in.
Similarly, you need a license to drive.
Customers don't need to be able to *fix* the tools, but they should be able to *use* them properly. Turn them on, log in, open & use some programs, browse the web, etc. If they aren't confident in this - well, why are we giving an expensive bit of kit to them? I wouldn't hand a chainsaw to someone who doesn't know how to use it. Or a fine piece of china to someone clumsy.
I think people should need to prove they can use the tools before they are allowed them. They'd be happier in the long run.2 -
If there's one thing i love and hate about JS arrow functions, it's the fact that they don't have a 'this' to themselves--great most times, VERY horrible the few times you need 'this' and forget that little caveat. I just wasted more time than I'm proud to admit because I forgot that
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I think I may have just had a bit of an epiphany...
Algorithms and Data Structures are sort of like libraries and frameworks.
JS is probably the easiest example since npm has a lot of libraries.
For most cases, underscore.each and lodash.each $.each achieve pretty much the same thing except one maybe better in certain cases.
And data structures are sort of like Angular, React, Electron, ReactNative. Each has its own purpose or style and are good for solving certain types of problems?
So day-to-day you don't really care what Sort() algo you use.. unless you really need to perfoarmance tune it for a specific case.
And data structures, depending on the type of problem you have, one is easier to work/think about the problem in although not examply... Usually have to use a few of them at once.
How is this going to help me in interviews... I'm not sure... other than reconfirming that knowing specific implementations of Sort and Trees is usually BS... most of the time just need to know you should Sort or use a Tree... -
I'm a complete noob with hardware so can someone please help me.
My GPU can support up to 4 monitors. I have 5. I figured that since you don't need a GPU for a computer to work, my PC would be able to support 4 with my GPU and one with the on-board system, but apparently I am wrong.
Is it possible to configure it to work this way? Will this seriously impact performance? (It shouldn't right? As PCs are designed to run with one monitor)
I know it is possible to connect multiple GPUs so if that's not possible, could anyone give me any advice on that? Thanks!13 -
I want to learn a new front and back end webdev language. So far, I've found Dart and TypeScript (though this one is not completely new to me) on the front end side, and Go, Elixir and Rust on the back end side. As I don't have too much free time, I can choose one of both sides for now, but I can't decide which ones to go with, since I can read so many pro-contra opinions.
I only need to choose for the skill, I don't have any specific target, I just want to learn new stuff.
Which ones do you suggest? -
Ten Freelance commandments
============================
One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine
It's the Ten Freelance Commandments
It's the Ten Freelance Commandments
Number one
The freelance demands satisfaction, if the client accepts, no need for further action
Number two
If they don't, resubmit what's your record
Your historial when there's reckoning to be reckoned
Number three
Set a call or meet face to face
Negotiate a deal
Or negotiate a end in place
This is commonplace, 'specially
'tween noobs
Most projects are done and payment is due
Number four
If the client won't agree that's alright
Time to get a pistol and a doctor on site
You pay him in advance, you treat him with civility
You have him turn around so he can have deniability
[END] -
We have an internal nuget package that wraps up the IConfiguration+ConfigurationBuilder for various .net core console/service apps (TL;DR, because people got creative), and it has a dictionary property for the common sections we use. AppSettings (for backward compatibility), ConnectionStrings, and ServiceEndpoints. If the need arises, I can add methods to return any type of object (no one has requested yet, we try to keep configs dead simple)
ex. var myDatabaseConnectionString = ConfigurationManager.ConnectionStrings["MyDatabase"];
Code review for someone who updated a .net framework app to .net core and they wrote their own IConfiguration wrapper for accessing the appsettings.json file, so I pointed out that we already had a library for that.
In the reply, he said he couldn't use our library because it had an 'AppSettings' property and since his appsettings.json file didn't have that section, he didn't want to cause a runtime exception.
OK, WTF...I even sent him a link to the documentation (includes explaining the backward compatibility part)...why the frack would you think because a property exists and you don't use it, that would cause some kind of runtime exception?
We have dozens of .net framework apps migrated to .net core with zero code changes and no one ever brought this up as a concern (because, why would they?)
Deep breath...ahhh...I respond that not having an AppSettings section in the appsettings.json file won't cause an exception, if you don't have one, don't need it, you don't have to use it.
He went ahead merged+committed his code anyway with his own IConfiguration+ConfigurationBuilder plumbing.
Code addiction is real kids...it's real.2 -
Upgrading my tech skills.. Once again I feel my personal my personal dev environment and told are much more up-to-date than what I use at work.... Though the book Kim reading is on TDD and was written 3 years ago.
Maybe I should read another on in cloud services and ML... but don't have any motivation for these topics.
I need TDD for work because now we're emphasizing unit test coverage...
I usually only use manual functional tests to verify the final outputs as either the testing framework is broken (JS) or I don't have time to relearn the frameworks for the particular language...
Anyway got off topic... So questions after:
1. Do you ever feel your technologically always more ahead than what you do at work and essentially you bring skills to the job but you don't learn much out of it?
2. How do you test? I actually got into a bit of a argument/discussion with my colleagues about how to implement unit tests. Apparently there are 2 ways to test? Black box vs WhiteBox. She said she tests only Public methods using mock inputs, dependencies. She read online and seems there is an opinion that should only test public functions and if you can't then your app is designed incorrectly, not separated enough.
For me I test the private functions individually (WhiteBox/Java reflection) because the public one is like generateReport and as a whole is like a Pachinko machine, too many unique paths that would need a test case for.
So thoughts? Yes sorry for turning it into a remake I guess...24 -
How does one convert an .img system image for Android to the format readable by Heimdall on Linux... Only thing I found so far requires Windows... Why make Heimdall if you need Windows anyway to make the image... Just use Odin on Windows then... Any ideas? Don't have Windows... And all I need is to read a bloody logfile (btsnoop_hci.log). Thanks, "secure" Android Oreo!!!4
-
Do you have some recommendations on server providers with hour based billing?
I wanr to run some simulations which need appr. 8 cores and 32gb of ram for one or two days and I don't want to rent a server a hole month or year for this.19 -
Anyone one here played around with CouchDB before or use it for personal projects or work?
At face value, it seems like a pretty good DB, Just wanted to get some idea from people that have used it before if it is actually pretty good.
I'm not a dba and don't know the caveats of DB tuning or management. So I'm in need of a DB with simplicity and easy management in mind Hahaha.
I'm mostly working with data that is either in JSON or hashtable/dictionary format so it felt like a NoSQL DB would be easy-ish to save my data into, plus I don't think (I hope my guess is right here) that I need regular SQL type relations with the data I'm working with.
Please help me with my noob-iness!Thank you! 😄 -
Okay you AI Gurus! I am interested in using voice cloning to make characters that sound like me and other people. I don't know anything about how this works, but I did find one company that does it fairly cheap: https://beta.elevenlabs.io/pricing Some guy on r/Skyrim used that company to produce a guard from the game reading a book about the Dragonborn. It sounded really good! https://reddit.com/r/skyrim/...
Are there some other places I should look into? I would like to do voices that sound good, but are kind of generic. I also don't get how you would go about making them react emotionally to a situation. Perhaps I need to create voices that are excited, angry, etc versus calm.
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