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Me: *Puts on headphones*
5 minutes later
College: Hey man you busy?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: I am, but what's the issue?
Help him, Put headphones back on.
5 minutes later
Intern: I need help
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Fine, I've got time
Help her, Put headphones back on.
Beginning to feel a little pissed.
5 minutes later
PM: Can i get your help quickly?
Me: Can i finish this quickly?
PM: It won't take long
Me: Fine.
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Help her out, put headphones back on.
An hour later
Team Leader: Are you done yet?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Almost
Team Leader: How can you not be done yet?
Me: Ask everyone around you?
He bitches for about 30 minutes.
I decide not to put my headphones on and just float in the river of how pissed i am.
4 Fucken hours goes by, nobody wants jack shit.
Me: *Puts headphones on*
5 minutes later
Team Leader: Hey man can you help me out?
Me: *Takes off headphones*
Me: Sure Fine.
FUCK!!! EVERY! FUCKEN TIME!!!30 -
Friend: Do you think you could make an app that does X?
Me: Yes but I'm not an app developer so haven't had much experience with app design so might take a while
Also friend: What sort of programmer are you? It's basic shit
My friends don't seem to understand that the programming loop for game development (Mostly background asset management) and app development is like trying to ask why a bull and a bull frog won't breed...Yes they both have bull in the name but they are 2 fucking different cunting things...8 -
Fucking printers are made by satan himself.
My printer apparently needs cyan, yellow and magenta for printing grayscale.
So suddenly my colours are empty
Bullshit but whatever, I used ducktape to tape of the little glas place where it checks inkt levels.
My printer thinks they are full and prints again. Booyah.
About 200 pages further it says they are empty again.
BULL FUCKING SHIT
The satan spawn that made my printer must have made the cartridges with a chip that has a maximum of pages. So even if the cartridge is FULL, the chip says its empty and so the printer thinks that as well
If i find the demon spawn that programmed the printers, I will make you program in brainfuck or whitespace for the rest of your life!!!!!!9 -
You know what I realized we should always say no for demo driven application development.
We should always ask for enough time do a proper development and if its not enough, shouldn’t write a single line.
Because once we deliver a working demo. Its release ready for them because its FUCKING WORKING..
And trying to explain why this is just a demo and cant be put to production is even bigger pain in the ass than saying no in the beginning.
LESSON LEARNED .4 -
I was once working for a company as a part time dev in the centrum of my city.
After working there for almost 1 year I noticed that I didn't get paid the last 2 months. I think it was about 500 euro's. (1 day per week).
So I went on my bike to the company to see whatsup. I came into the store and told my boss I hadn't been paid for 2 months. Even tho I did work.
He then got so angry! Just started yelling "YEAH BECAUSE THE PROJECT ISNT NEAR COMPLETE, NOTHING IS WORKING" I explained him the panel still had to be configured and that everything he asked me to do had been programmed and he then fucking told me he wanted it a different way even tho we clearly discussed it WEEKS AGO and he clearly said what he wanted. so he wanted dont revisions. I told him that this is not possible at this moment because holidays are around the corner and I want to go om vacation. (and he too!!!)
He then got so fucking angry he said "come with me for a second" we walk to the door of the building and then he just pushed me out of there and kicked me in my back.
I got so fucking pissed, I opened the door and asked him if je thinks this is a normal way to discuss. He closed the store door again, and I couldnt hold back anymore. I threw my full can of Red Bull against the glass door. The can exploded, and his whole fucking window had energy drink on it. He took some fucking steal pipe, so I walked back. But while trying to get away I jumped on his store sign. Which broke into pieces (they are quite expanasive). He came outside with his fucking pipe and he was trying to hit me. We had a crowd and people started yelling at him. I walked away but the asshole took my bike and put it inside his store. So that I couldnt leave.
So than I called the cops and reported him. For minor assault and some other things. Shortly after I deleted the entire project from his stupid server.
I really dont know this kinda shit happends, he probably felt like I didn't deserve that money even tho I did everything he asked for within deadline. Trying to solve it after vacation was also not an option. I signed him up for a few news letters after that.10 -
F*** all this motivational/inspirational shit going on nowadays. We don't need cold showers, wake up 4:30 AM, or sacrifice time with loved ones just because our ego wants to be successful.
What if I don't want it, what if I just want to BBQ some chickens, drink Red Bull, and watch some Netflix shows until I die.
I don't want to own a Lamborghini, big apartment, live in a warm place with a nice view over the blue ocean, etc. This is just an illusional life-style story that every single person in the world wants, and the reason is so media and commercial companies can trick people to buy whatever they want.
I don't give a shit, we'll all die someday, I don't need these things in my life to make me feel happy or complete. I've seen people with everything, yet they commit suicide because the inner self is broken.
Just be happy with whatever you have, and stop going after things that won't really make you happy. The fact you have eyes to see, ears to hear, and hands to feel is worth billions in itself.
Wake up.19 -
Most of the tech YouTubers are really noob engineers.
Joma was a data scientist. He is an L3 engineer at Google and he hasn't done much during the last 1 year based on his internal stats.
I saw tech leads stats while he was at Google and that dude did nothing during his time. I'm sure he was an IC before he became a lead.
Clement talks about system design bull shit but he's a math major who worked on some angular front end while he was at Google. Basically his experience in tech is mostly involving using mat-button and mat-input. He also quit FB in a month.
Listening to tech lead gives me cancer. That guy was also some front end/ mobile engineer. I don't think any less of mobile engineers but tech leads acts as if he built some large scale systems at Google and FB. His opinion about react native shows how much of a noob he is. He also talked about docker in one of his video which showed he had some fundamental misunderstanding of what docker is. In his courses, he struggles to explain simple algorithms.
I don't know how these people have the courage to claim themselves as some sort of experts in the field when they are extreme noobs. They also sell some shady courses and are robbing innocent college kids.
One thing they all do well is talk. Which I give them 10/10.10 -
In our morning stand up, dev was bragging about how much code he was refactoring (like over-the-top bragging) and how much the changes will improve readability (WTF does that mean?), performance, blah blah blah. Boss was very impressed, I wasn't. This morning I looked at the change history and yes, he spent nearly two solid days changing code. What code? A service that is over 10 years old, hasn't been used in over 5, mostly auto-generated code (various data contracts from third party systems). He "re-wrote" the auto-generated code, "fixed" various IDisposable implementations and other complete wastes of time. How –bleep-ing needy are people for praise and how –bleep-ing stupid are people for believing such bull-bleep? I think I should get a t-shirt made with a picture of a BS-Meter and when he starts talking, “Wait a sec, I gotta change my shirt. OK…you were saying?”
5 -
Received a urgent email from a business client saying that the application we support is completely broken. Their staff said they used the app to send several submissions that day but they did not come through. This is a major issue as these submissions need to occur daily.
I understand that this is a priority so I immediately check everything. I test the app, the server, check the database. Everything seems fine, but there's no record of these submissions. Maybe it's the specific device that was used. I reply saying that everything seems to be in order. Can I please be provided with more information about what occurred? What time were the submissions sent?
Client replies saying that the submissions were definitely sent and that the staff swear by it.
I now know something is up, so I remote into the the devices in question and check the logs. The app was not even used that day! I've got them! Those liars!
I am now quite pissed off, but remain professional and reply saying that we log all app events and that the logs show that the app had not been used at all that day. Now they have to own up to their lie. Right?
Wrong. Client replies with: The issue has been fixed. Thanks.
Can you believe the bloody nerve? The client doesn't even have the decency to apologise but rather insinuates that it was all our fault.
Well I'm not having that. I reply: It is great that the app is functioning correctly. However, I believe it is important to understand the cause of the issue as to prevent it from occuring again.
Client: No reply.
Well, if you want to waste other people's time, here's the fat bill.
Moral of the story. Don't trust anything that the client says and for any issue, debug the user before doing anything else.2 -
Me: Hey Guys we've been working on this application(project 1) for 4 months and i think we're almost done.
Owner of Company(Not My Boss): CooCook4Choo we moving you to project 2, forget about the previous one.
2 months go by, project is completed.
Boss: I've got another project for you
Me: Awesome!
1 month later...
PM: We're moving you back to project 1
Me: Why?
PM: Our senior dev resigned, we only have junior Devs and we need a lot of help before deployment next month.
Me: Why am i moving back to a project i was taken off of
PM: Where an agile company and you will be moved off many projects
Me: **Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!* Ok i'll need documentation of everything that happened in the past three months, the current issue, what the current sprint revolves around and A demo of what has been added.
PM: Relax, I've got a lot of work myself, you will get them soon.
2 days later, still don't have what i need, PM is on vacation.
Me: Guess i don't have any work to do.3 -
Mom: why haven't you been doing your computer science homework at home ?
Me : because you won't let me have a computer and I can't run the software I need on my school iPad
Mom: bull shit you can run it that iPad can do anything that you can do on a computer
Me : no you can't that's not even...*mom cuts me off*
Mom : don't talk back to me you just don't wanna do your homework
Mom: all computers are the same they just have different names
Me : that's not even true in the slightest... *gets cut off again*
Mom: shut up and do your damn homework
Me: 😐19 -
Hello everyone 👋
I see people blaming the developers when you see a crappy software product , saying that they have done a bad job.
But even it could be true also it could be the product managers who didn’t give enough time todo what needs to be done or project scope is too big for the persons knowledge.
I’ve worked in a company where deadlines were so tight I didn’t have enough time to proper UI and Testing. I used to be only developer who has someone experience and I had to train the interns as well. I am also to blame to joining such company but in desperate times takes desperate measures.
And now when i’m leaving the company and I have spend 2 years of my life for apps that I’m not proud of.
Just rant. Please feel free to give ur thoughts2 -
* Calls themselves "Software Engineer"
* Doesn't know what a thread is.
I swear these coding boot camps are churning out code monkeys whose real skill is building shitty React apps.
I believe a CS degree is necessary if you want to work on something more than CRUD applications.
Nothing against devs without degrees, but at least make an effort because my head will explode next time I have to explain to someone what a thread is and why it's a very bad idea to run blocking code on the main thread.26 -
Hmm best part of being a Dev? I guess it is the fact that you can know how things actually work in inside something instead of looking at it and saying "Its Magic!". It kinda ruins playing some games, since you figure them out pretty quickly.
Other than that, I like the feeling that I know enough about computers and performance and how things work that I can choose the best Desktop/Laptop and stay away from marketing bull. :)1 -
Hahahahahahahahahha I'm not going to do anymore of your "quick" projects that result in shit pay and drain me out. I got actual fulfilling projects I enjoy working on hahahahah not again "friend". The audacity of this guy to ask me to handle a big project alone while he sits on his ass and gets a 50% cut. He should have paid attention in school if he wanted to be a programmer. All he does is lie to clients that he can code yet runs to me to do all the work. Hahahah let's see how he gets out of this one. Not gonna help you today "friend".5
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Today I am going to rant about this guy who I am working with in a group for creating a mobile application as a project for a course.
So let me give you some background info about this guy. He has 5 years of experience as data analyst from some company in India. Now he is here in Canada for his masters. I took him in the group thinking given his experience, he can be an asset. However, as I started talking to him it became clear that he has no experience with programming or software development. I am ok with that as everyone is new to something. However, he started intrupting and started giving negative feedback about each and every thing we discussed regarding the project. Don't get me wrong, I am all about getting feesback. But if someone who is just sitting there and just searching stuff on google just to bull shit with people to show that he knows stuff is irritating. He always provide useless feedback and solutions to any problems.
I was talking to him about his past working experience and his future plans after graduating. He literally said, "I want to learn just enough to fake in front of employer during interview. I was doing the same thing in my previous job." I was legit shocked at this moment.
Now I have to tolerate this for another 3 months. I am just worried about the project.7 -
THX for 500++ !!! I'm so happy I found devRant by exident. I love reading rants and sometimes post my own stories.
PS: Now I can wear my JS Shirt and drink Red bull like in rl 😂 Thx again!
24 -
It was about my 30th progress meeting with the clients on a website I was working on for them. At that point, I knew what was gonna happen. Change bloody requests.
Before attending that meeting I thought, "I'll change them on the fly as they comment for more ridiculous changes" as I drank 4 cans of RedBull. At the meeting I was having my 5th and the clients was firing all sorts of changes and complaints in the air and I whack them all with my lightning fast fingers can go.
I didn't know I could go that fast, like I was flying. Clients were impressed. Boss was worried that I don't look so... Normal. In fact, I jitter every mid sentence.
Told him to tell them to email changes/complaints instead of bringing it to this meeting. A complete waste of my Red Bulls.2 -
I feel like a piece of shit because I don't want to help my "friend" who has been faking being a web developer for years. He now has a real project he must develop that actually requires writing code (It's a serious project that requires real Javascript skills) and he's basically fucked.
He usually would hop on the web and download a template, edit it and get paid. But then again I don't want to help him because he always comes to me and I do all the work and save his ass while he does nothing.
I'm in a rock and a hard place right now because I'm also a dev and I actually have a lot of work to do, unlike his lazy ass.5 -
!rant / funny
Here is something I saw online while in bed, made me laugh so much cried myself to sleep.
Reminded me of the time my mgr pushed me to make an android app despite me having no prior exp then getting snippy when the end results weren't up to it...
A game designer wanted to commission some conceptual artwork about monsters.
He asked the freelance artist to make him something kinda unique but not too far off, something like a mix between a centaur and a minotaur
The artist unfamiliar with that kinda work asked for more details, the designer said ah just mix em together , its easy, half bull half man and the other half man half horse (already incorrect) and he sent the man off to work.
A couple days later the artist is back...
Here its done, had to look up the monsters online but here ya go....
game designer : wtf is is ?!😡
Arist: half centaur half mino... whats wrong?! 😒
Designer: yeah but you got the wrong halves you dimwit!
you gave me a half "man-half-another-man" creature 😡
Disclaimer:
I found the image somewhere online with not much of any context or history .
I just know it was the product of a massive miscommunication 😂so I patched the story up for this rant
1 -
I'm convinced no one really understands OAuth2, probably not even the creators.
Every blog, articles and tutorial, you have people saying don't do this, don't do that. Basically, no one agrees on a single implementation.
Want to use passwords for auth in a first party system you fully own? Apparently, that's unsafe.
Hmmm, what about magic links for passwordless auth? Also not safe you say?
Okay, I believe Okta just wants people to use their services, nothing else.15 -
For god fucking sake, PulseAudio, write a usable fucking documentation for your library and remove idiotic silent exit(1) calls and properly log what the fucking issue was
I'm tired of debugging this piece of bull shit for over a month now already while the pulse library occasionally crashes for no apparent reason29 -
ChatGPT sucks so much for coding tasks and it's laughable.
Like, it's come to a point where it's unusable for me. At all.
It's like a toddler, anything you tell it, it agrees. Then spits out non-existent functions.
The thing actually slows me down.
And yes, I've tried Claude AI and it's slightly better but in no way, shape or form did it improve my productivity.
Those who claim it made them n times faster were never working on complex tasks to begin with.8 -
When you find out the last 3 hours of your life has been wasted finding that some numbskull confused the Round method with the Random method in the currency conversion logic1
-
Still dealing with the web department and their finger pointing after several thousand errors logged.
SeniorWebDev: “Looks like there were 250 database timeout errors at 11:02AM. DBAs might want to take a look.”
I look at the actual exceptions being logged (bulk of the over 1,600 logged errors)..
“Object reference not set to an instance of an object.”
Then I looked the email timestamp…11:00AM. We received the email notification *before* the database timeout errors occurred.
I gather some facts…when the exceptions started, when they ended, and used the stack trace to find the code not checking for null (maybe 10 minutes of junior dev detective work). Send the data to the ‘powers that be’ and carried on with my daily tasks.
I attached what I found (not the actual code, it was changed to protect the innocent)
Couple of hours later another WebDev replied…
WebDev: “These errors look like a database connectivity issue between the web site and the saleitem data service. Appears the logging framework doesn’t allow us to log any information about the database connection.”
FRACK!!...that Fracking lying piece of frack! Our team is responsible for the logging framework. I was typing up my response (having to calm down) then about a minute later the head DBA replies …
DBA: “Do you have any evidence of this? Our logs show no connectivity issues. The logging framework does have the ability to log an extensive amount of data regarding the database transaction. Database name, server, login, command text, and parameter values. Everything we need to troubleshoot. This is the link to the documentation …. If you implement the one line of code to gather the data, it will go a long way in helping us debug performance and connectivity issue. Thank you.”
DBA sends me a skype message “You’re welcome :)”
Ahh..nice to see someone else fed up with their lying bull...stuff.
-
Sometimes it's better to burn a bridge so you don't even think about crossing it in the future.
See, I left a company some years ago because I didn't see my future in it and all management combined had a collective intelligence of a chicken.
However, I got a call from them a couple of months ago asking me if I could return. The salary was double and the working arrangement seemed fine. On paper. WFH. Flexibile hours...
Since I actually liked the project itself for its technical challenge, I accepted the return offer. What a bad idea that was.
Of course, the things that made me leave for the first time had only gotten worse. Bad leadership, idiot developers in team leader positions. Tech debt higher than Mount Everest. Bad infra that makes you want to off yourself every time you work on it. The whole circus.
Seriously, the "senior" team leader will happily merge code that includes assert(true == true), but hold up a well written MR because he has a personal vendetta with the developer.
Personally, I always check him whenever he starts being an ass. But the poor juniors are in hell. They're terrified.
Now I'm leaving again, but this time I've made sure I can't come back.3 -
Red bull. Write a class, red bull, do a commit red bull, tell a client to fuck off, red bull. Red bull, red bull, red bull...8
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Headphones, a quiet room, a comfortable chair, something to drink (coffee, red bull, water, tea) and something that is interesting enough to totally focus on.4
-
I've got three 2-hour exams tomorrow back-to-back. I've been studying my ass off all week.
How the fuck is the College administration allowed to put student like me into this retarded and needlessly challenging predicament?
Guess I'll be drinking plenty of red bull tomorrow... 😰8 -
!rant
Today I almost lost my not a year old motorcycle.
I parked my motorcycle in a parking lot, kept the key on the seat and left. After an hour I realised that I hadn't brought my key after locking my motorcycle. I ran to the parking lot like a mad bull. Fortunately my motorcycle was not stolen and the key was still there on the seat. 😌 -
Can we please stop with the multiverse crap? Please, just stop.
I watched Deadpool & Wolverine yesterday and what a shitshow.
Logan was an excellent send-off to Wolverine. An excellent one.
It showed that Marvel can actually make good movies.
Why did Marvel have to ruin it?
The issue with multiverse plotlines is that nothing is ever serious, there are no stakes, nothing matters.
Anyone who dies can come back. Anything that happens can be reversed.
Just. Fucking. Stop.
One of my favourite franchises, Mortal Kombat, got ruined with MK1 multiverse story.
Played the game for about 30 minutes then deleted it. What a disappointment.
From now on, if a movie features multiverse or time travel crap, I ain't watching.22 -
The switch from “Wild West” to ITIL uncovered so much bull crap. 20% of the people where doing 80% of the work. And then people were keeping some things alive by shear will, once Changes and Service Requests were required, it was shown how awful the environment truly was and how few people in the company knew how anything worked.
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!Dev
Sitting in a bus on 19 hour ride with my class to England a few things to rant about came to my mind:
Why the fuck do you have to blast shitty german rap music out of your fucking JBL boxes and why do you have to turn up the volume so much that I can still hear it although I am wearing headphones, listening to music and sitting 5 fucking rows in front of you.
Also why the fuck do clocks in buses never display the right time? How hard can it be to make the clock display the right fucking time?
Another thing: why does this bus which is especially made for long rides not have a fucking trash can?! Seriously wtf?
Rants aside I am really looking forward to staying in England for a week although I won't have a computer for the next week :(
Another thing: why the fuck is the coffee you get at pull-ins so fucking disgusting ?
Like srsly, it is made by a machine and still tastes like thrown-up.
And why the fuck does everyone look weirdly at you when you buy a can of red bull but everything is fine when someone my age drinks 3+ liters of beer and then throws up? What the fuck? People look at me weirdly when I tell them that I don't drink any alcohol, heck I am actually not even allowed to do so because I am 15 and not 16 (beer is allowed in Germany if you are 16+ but nobody really cares about that). Heck where I am from they even encourage you to drink beer? What the fuck??!!
Anyway looking forward to England and also sorry about the long non-dev related rant. Just had to rant about some people and society.
P.S. do you know any (preferably free) Android apps / games where you have to code or just solve problems with logic?14 -
Fuck pep8 in general. Fuck harder anything to do with line limits. Fuck with a rusty spatula those who tie it into their git precommits or CI tests.
What's that, it's 2018 and even the shittiest walmart-tier computers have 1080p OR BETTER at a 16:9 aspect ratio?
"lol, 80 character line limit."
Eat a bucket of rancid dicks.
Oh, and since we're forcing you to be so economical with your characters, we're going to force four space tabs. Yknow, rather than simple single tab characters, which could mean everyone can set their preferred level of spacing without bloating the code with whitespace.
Because, yknow, it's entirely reasonable to chew up 1/8 of a line because you're editing a function inside a class definition. God Almighty forbid you try to do a for loop inside that function! Fuck you!
"Oh but you can't have two editors or terminals open side by side without that limit!"
BULL FUCKING SHIT. Here's my shitty 1280x1024 display on my shitty computer with two Sublime editors open side by side. You'll notice the break is at 100 characters. You'll notice I don't have to scroll horizontally to do two things at once. You'll notice I even have room for COMMENTS!
If your code standards require you to make your code *less* readable and *less* clear and take up *more* space to accomplish the same tasks, YOUR CODE STANDARDS SUCK!
Enough with this stupid meme. We're not in the 80s anymore and it's high time to start fucking acting like it.
7 -
Medieval torture devices got nothin' on Angular.
The Rack? Ha, good times!
Brazen Bull? Happily!
Iron Maiden? Yes, please!
Pear of Anguish? Funny name, I'll take it!
But Angular?!
PLEASE GOD, NO! HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL!4 -
FUCK SPOTIFY
This bloated buggy piece of shit
This fucking piece of bull dick that runs efficiently as much as a legless cockroach this motherfucker thinks its offline even though its in the motherfucking browse screen and I have a 4.5g connection (this retarded cunt) fills space faster than a hot gas released in a vacuum chamber just to fix its goddamn internet bug I have to reboot my damn phone. I see so many damn bugs in this shitty app that I think they rolled back to the alpha versions sometimes if I had any other god damn alternatives (google music is not available where Im from fuck you too google) the only thing I would give them would be my middle fingers. It just fucking froze on me while I'm just trying to listen to my Retrowave playlist while I fucking get ready for bed FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU RETARDED INFECTION FILLED CUNT I WOULD PUT A BIKE CHAIN ON MY DICK AND RAM YOU WHILE WE ARE TIED TO A CAR THAT DRIVES OFF OF A CLIFF IF YOU WEREN'T AN INCOMPETENTLY PUT TOGETHER 1S AND 0S7 -
Are you the nocturnal developer who lives on red bull and chips or the luxury developer who works in a beautiful light office and is a vegetarian?11
-
Meme quoting one of our employees who sent in a ticket asking if something was a "phishing technique without the use of email."
-
I work with a guy named Ed. Every once in a while I say:
"That's bullshit Ed."
He says:
"Yep" (he always agrees without context)
The other day I asked him if I was saying:
"That's bullshit Ed."
or
"That's bull shithead."
He was amused.3 -
Working out how to continue an interview when the interviewee thinks Test Driven Development is fixing bugs raised by the Test Team5
-
!dev
I'm a hobbyist photographer but lately I've been getting offers to work on major gigs. Apparently people have started liking my photography.
However, just like some programmers are hardliners when it comes to particular stacks, the camera world is riddled with brand loyalists that can't accept that anything other than their camera gear is better. You have Canon/Nikon users who can't wrap their minds around the fact that Sony is making better cameras for the price.
I ask a question about what lens people recommend and a flame war starts about why X camera is better than Y camera.
Guess what, it ultimately comes down to the skill of the photographer and not the camera. All I wanted was a lens recommendation for a particular style of shooting.
Thing is, all modern cameras are more than capable of doing their jobs.8 -
Why the fuck these managers can’t understand that you can’t build a full blown system with in a week. After building a demo driven application to show the client you can tell the client we are fucking ready to launch the damn thing . I FUCKING MENTIONED BEFORE GOING TO THE MEETING ITS NOT RELEASE READY GOD DAMN IT.
Now when I say we can’t launch this app we need to fix things . THE FUCKING MANAGER HAS THE GUTS TO SAY “one day is enough to fix the issues right ? Shouldn’t be a big deal for you to fix this” .
Kill me now 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬7 -
Anyone else get a feeling that some tutorials are made for trolling purposes? Like, why write an article about the most basic stuff about a particular stack and call it a day? Why copy paste from the docs without adding any new information whatsoever?
Medium.com is the worst offender.7 -
Testers who find an issue that prevents execution of an early step common to many scenarios, who then dutifully create 150 tickets to fail each scenario individually, crowing on about how many issues they've found1
-
Posted a question on Stack Overflow today for the first time in as long time... Have lost faith, what shit some suggestions people have.
- Clear the cache, check again...🤨
- Your code is wrong, I tested it my way, you need to change.😒
Read the fucking post properly and gauge some level of expertise... I clearly wrote that it WAS working, the bull shit your detailing is completely irrelevant.
Fucking idiots...4 -
Swift 1 and 2 were really pain in the ass!! You had to write God damn completed word of each statement. Eg : "presentViewController" is now "present" in Swift 3. Or that fucking "NS" in every object :)))
Thanks God! Thanks Apple! No more bull shit keyword!2 -
Each day night, whenever I'm sitting to code and I feel like taking a break, this is my jam.
Brilliant lemon soda, with sugar. Helps me concentrate a lot better than coffee, or Red Bull.
5 -
Was just told to put 0 if field doesn’t exist In database instead of marking the column nullable. That is driving me crazy bull and 0 are not the same two different meanings.17
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Hey! This is a followup to my last story.
TL;DR: I thinking of quitting my old job, got an offer at a startup, about the same pay, but much better working conditions.
First of all, the meeting with my lead. It was a performance report on her side to me, and I got 100 to 110% in performance in all points. My lead said "this team without you wouldn't be this team anymore" - which makes me feel a little bit bad for her if I decide to quit. She is a great team lead, but I don't belive the old company is worth my time anymore.
Now to the new company. Shortly after that performance report meeting, I had a call with the ceo, and what do I have to say besides: What a cool dude. He listened to me, asked me questions about my previous jobs (not just as programmer) and so on. But because first looks are deceiving, I went to their office last thursday. And wow. Their are exactly what I imagined them to be. Cool, young folks, 100% tech enthusiasts, and open minded.
One of the new hires in the new company wanted a 6 months internship between his studies. Instead they offered him a full time job - for the 6 months. They even offered me to pay back my scholarship that I will own my old company for leaving early. This is awesome.
The only things that will be worse than my old job are, that I have to negotiate payment instead of yearly increases, 4 days less paid vacation, so only 26 days, and 40h weeks. And they have no workers council, which isn't good, but it's not the worst either.
I got them fixed on 57.000€, not including an up to 10.000€ annual bonus. The way you achieve your bonus seems good to. It's split in two parts, internal and external bonus. Internal bonus is when you engage with internal events like tech calls, sharing your knowledge on your main IT topics, etc. External Bonus is a bit more complicated, but also straight forward. You work on projects for customers, and if you have less than 3 weeks a year that you dont participate in an project, you get the full bonus.
Last friday, I filed a request for a certificate of employment from my current team lead, this is odd for her because I have never done it before, and she asked why I requested it. I said to her that we can talk about it, and she agreed but didn't call me, yet.
Lastly, another good friend of mine will be employed by my team soon, but for a fraction of the payment that I currently receive! He is doing the exact same work, and even worse, he is doing project managment for his main developer project too! And is getting less paid... I just cant...
Yesterday we needed to update a few cloud instances, the only other person who knows about setting up CICD and our OpenShift Containers than me is only in part time and works two days a week, his trainee didn't know anything, so it's up to me. This isn't hard or anything, but it shows that this system our mangement maintains will fail soon, maybe even with me going? I sure hope so tbh.
One of you guys said, I should go to my team lead and negotiate a higher pay, but the truth is, that because we are a big ISP we have an collective agreement for payment and are grouped by tasks (which is bull shit btw, because I'm doing tasks much higher paid than currently). This also means that I cannot simply jump in another group, and can only increase my current pay to about 115%, which is done automatically every year by 5% up to 115%. Anything above is considered extra, but I don't think they will go with it.
I will decide this week about my future at the old company, but I really don't know what to do...2 -
Company Emails that tell you
who they are
what believe in.
How they were the market leaders since the stone age.
what their values are
what their holistic approach to life is. How they are diversifying inclusiveness to include diversity.
And how all of this bull shit ties into you being a ideal employee of the organisation
Just to get you to fill a damn form.
Makes me wish the next attempt at human extinction succeeds.4 -
Today's argument .4 of second is 400ms not 40ms. For fuck sake listen to what I am saying instead try to bully me into fucking believing your bull shit you fucking cock womble!3
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Where's my Monster?! Why's it in the trash can, I swear I didn't drink it that fast. Damn you Illuminati!!!3
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Access is just the most bull**** thing on earth. I spent 3 hours trying to find the mistake in my sql. FYI this sucker uses some special syntax for multiple joins -_-3
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Having to join an emergency meeting to discuss progress of an urgent resolution the very attendance of which just delays the fix. Then repeating the meeting every 30 minutes.1
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Apple Music is the worst music service I've ever used.
By far the worst UI/UX ever.
It doesn't allow me to easily organize my music the way I want.
Search is sluggish.
The recommendation algorithm sucks.
Can't LIKE a song without it asking me to also sync my local music files to the cloud. Seriously, why the fuck can't I like/favorite a song and be done with it? Why does it need to sync with my local files?
This is a basic feature that works in literally on any other music platform.
The damn thing can't even play FLAC.
I know Spotify has its issues, but it actualls feels like a well engineered piece of software.
Apple Music seems like it was made by junior devs for a school science fair.
The only thing going for Apple Music is the sound quality, everything else is bullshit.7 -
No matter how many books I read on design patterns, there always comes a time when you've just got to toe punt a bull of mud across the line to meet a clients needs.
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Guys, start writing your shit early. Don't do what I do and pull two all nighters in a row in order to finish a thesis.
And then complain about having forgotten to mention something.
Do not recommend.
I'm also out of red bull and have at least 4 more hours to go. Wish me luck xD6 -
Not sure what is going to be worse. Fixing the bug in this code. Or removing all of the code I added in the name of finding the bug in this code. I have found myself asking myself why I chose coding when I come have picked something less stressful. Like flaming bull fighting.
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Do you need a degree to become a software engineer ?
Now this is a question I’ve seen many people ask. I personally have no degree and I’ve been doing programming for the past 10 years (since I was 18 ). Whatever I learned, I learned from reading and watching tutorials.
So far It wasn’t a problem for me.
What do u guys think and what is your experience is this matter ?9 -
!dev
fuck call of duty and activision. I finally had time to play with my friends when suddenly I had to download a 56 GB update. Why the fuck does every update have to be big? Then after that monstrous update, if you want to play multiplayer, you still need an additional 22 GB for a multiplayer pack which you already have. This has to be the most clueless company out there. I should have uninstalled this game a long time ago.11 -
Some gamers: *Gaming sucks now*
Also, those gamers: *Plays only FPS games*
Like dude, there are so many genres with amazing games that you would have a new game to play every day if you wanted. But oh no, I only play COD and Fortnite and because they suck, every other game in existence must also suck.
Stop playing the same damn games then, maybe you will enjoy gaming once more.
Also, I feel like people complain about FPS games because they expect to win every single match, which is impossible. You will meet sweats and tryhards. That's the reality of any multiplayer game.5 -
People who think that emailing, texting, voicemailing, whatsapping and skyping are acceptable alternatives to raising a ticket/defect/issue
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Learning institutions move so slow. Kotlin and Swift are nowhere to be found in this mobile applications course.
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Part of the problem, So many dev's here know the real problem with OS's governments and 3ed party apps happly spying on you and making there EULA to so called make it right for them to do it.
I want to know why so many dev's are portending this is not happen or why they not caring, you become part of the problem if your willing to work with the problem and there rules and guide lines.
WE dictate the future of tech not one company or another the people that create the software are the ones can make a difference, the users need to be educated and the dev need to take action now.
I loved this site at first but now I hate it I really do as so many posts are just blind or follow evil companies/software so on this is not how it should be, I wont accept this bull shit anymore and I not going to say quite to show the mass I going to follow them.
Step up and do something about it or stop calling yourself's dev's your part of the problem, you have the a gift and know how to help everyone do it and prove your worth.
I am really sorry I know some here do research and try and help but I rarely seeing it at the moment, things need to change, its not going to be easy but only the dev's can change this and soon, soon all OS's/software companies will get the feeling governments are on there side and governments what this so they have a back door in to WHO you are. FK the or if you have nothing to hide, EVERYONE has something to hide, compaines have already used Facebook Data to fire people working for them as they feel they shouldn't have to have someone working for them who likes or does XYZ,
Open your eyes people, small time dev's are not really included in this but big time dev's that do know how to work around these problems should be working on this to stop these problems, hardware venders are also a big problem but that's not something we can do anything about yet.
I know this rant will go on death ears to some, others will think I am over the top nut but if you really want to make a differences let's here it, lets get this world back on track, its not going to be easy but it we can do it.28 -
Returning back to the C# with NET Core was a mistake.
Currently working on a simple web project and I'm already stuck with the simplest problem: cannot connect to the local PostgreSQL instance.
"Cannot resolve host", bull-fucking-shit, localhost is not resolvable, 127.0.0.1 is not resolvable.
Better enough, tried to run Dns.GetHostEntry (which failed from the stack trace) on same localhost and... It's working... Why it's not working on the fucking Npgsql, why it's not working in the lib.
Now I totally understand that I don't get Microsoft's way of solving problems.13 -
Two words, red bull.
I dont drink coffee often or drink it otherwise, so it gives a real kicker to the old brain.4 -
My dream! When I remind myself that I'm not where I want to be yet, I get in that ultimate coding-zone. I push myself to be better every time and that gets me coding and learning new things. And of course, red bull ;)
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Finding out that the Project Manager and Test Manager are actually in a relationship then spending the rest of the day trying to work out what you said to each of them in confidence
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I am more of a backend guy and was wondering what bullshit has been going on around Javascript, being mocked and memed around.
Then, I was asked to learn Javascript and ReactJS for front end in my project.
And then I realised, holy fucking mother of god, its fucking confusing. Whole new level shit piled right away on my face. I am newbie to front end and might be experiencing such issues, but I rarely had with other languages.
But "this" horse shit is on another level, I mean fucking a unicorn and pooping rainbow is easier than this bull.11 -
Oh god i have been fighting with exoplayer library and ima sdk for past month and yet i haven't been able to figure out how to play multiple VAST tags without using a vmap.. if anyone knows this( or find this relevent and want more info regarding this) please, let's chat.
I am sometimes so irritated with open source. We are grateful that you made a great video player , but please for the love of god , document it nicely. No one can skimm through your 800 fucking classes, especially when a quarter of them are core c++ classes that an android dev never even touches.
Plus no replies on issues! My god, you know after SO, the second tab that's almost always open on my PC is that of some github library or issue. And am sure that must be the case of most of the devs. Then why can't you fucking reply?????
You see, this is typical google.. i am beleive they see everything and ignore it until the right moment comes... Android dev summit is coming, and they won't make any replies now, but would make big changes on the day of their on stage presentations like a boss, recieving lots of applauses, like " yay, they fixed it!! Yess more documentation " bull fucking shit.
My boss knows this and he is on my ass to find solutions before google releases solutions coz he wanna stay ahead of the competition
Thanks for fucking me, open source1 -
Anyone else work at a company where the employees don't know the difference between a developer and a help desk person??3
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Well, I love react-native and how easy to build mobile app with it. but damn look at these folder sizes jeez
1 -
Car reviewers are the bane of my existence.
In one video, a dude reviews a 3rd gen Rav4 and says "don't expect Porsche like performance or luxury materials".
Well, no fucking shit, Sherlock.
Who would've thought? An affordable compact SUV doesn't have sports car performance. Mind = Blown.
Also, vague and subjective criticism such as "unimpressive steering" or "not fun to drive". Not fun how? Whatever the fuck that means.
Dudes want a budget car with a Bugatti engine, that handles like a Porsche but priced as a Honda.
Seriously, why the fuck do these reviewers regurgitate the same shit, over and over again.
A good review must take into account the price of the car. And at most, compare it to similarly priced cars.
Comparing a Corolla to a 911 is down right moronic.3 -
It would really, really suck if we're alone in the universe. Like, I can't think of something that would suck more.
I hope aliens exist.12 -
!Rant
Thank you everyone that helped me get to 500, it's funny because I wanted 500 for the Red bull, and today after drinking 2 redbulls in 20 minutes I got it x31 -
6 weeks of working on some crackpot bull shirt half ashed code just to end up using a pre built theme that works like a charm... Wish I had thrown this old code out 6 weeks ago.
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I'll put it this way. Svelte is like Kotlin. It's modern, elegant and a pleasure to work with.
React is like Java. Old, bloated and a pain to work with.
Svelte makes React look like it was built by masochists.
I don't work on frontend often, mostly because I despise the frameworks.
Svelte is a breath of fresh air.
I just want to ship a product quickly and it doesn't get in the way.2 -
What is your biggest embarrassing regret in your career?
I will go first. I regret than those day I don't understand OOP and Bull-shiting around. -
Whoever worked on the speak-to-chat feature for Sony XM4 headphones deserves to have a bunch of angry orangutans pull on their nipples for 1 minute.
Why the fuck do they get activated out of the blue when I'm simply talking? It feels like I'm under the water.
And the damn feature can't be turned off permanently. You can go into the app to turn it off, but it'll get activated again. You can use the two finger gesture on the sensor to toggle it off but it will still come back. It never stays off.
These are amazing headphones, but this is my biggest pet peeve. Almost ruined them for me.11 -
Fucking hell. So, I had an interview with market research company and in said interview I got told to bring my passport to my first shift training and it was ok if it was 5 years out of date. Additional info, they were supposed to call us on Thursday to book said shift and send us an email with a information pack. They never did.
Ok, day of shift comes along. After I booked it because no one fucking bothered to call any of us. Email never arrived but whatever. I go to the place and bring my 3 years out of date polish passport... Big fucking mistake. They don't seem to like polish passport seeing as how it's only the British ones that get the out of date is okay thing. So I'm sitting there still calm because sure, company policy, they have to do it. The training guy was nice and all, offered to get me to their office to speak to them about it. I accept and off we go.
At the office, I basically get the information that it's only British passports that get it and I basically can't use anything else as proof of ID, which is funny seeing as I have a polish identity card that I can leave and enter the country on within the EU. I suppose I'm going to try looking for a job that doesn't require passports for now and if I find a good one then they can go get fucked by a bull for all I care.
In conclusion, I get to wait till I'm 18 (thankfully only a month) to apply for a new passport in the local polish consulate. Brilliant. All thanks to some cunt that decided they require fucking passports with such beautiful (note the sarcasm) rules. The fucktards.
Hoping the apocalypse comes early for these cocksuckers,
BadFox -
When you've managed to get to +99 ok your first day on devRant but can't think of anything else to post to get you into 3 digits!
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Project Managers who plan on the basis that weekends are part of the project plan, but specifically only for tasks that do not require them to be present
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The people who run these scheduling meetings need to remember that this building is just one big tinder box ready to go up in smoke. 30+ minutes talking about bull shit that only affects a small percentage of the team. AND we're behind and dealing with a push that happened on a Friday before the guy who wrote the code left for vacation to go to Tennessee to watch the eclipse for some reason.
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Agents who try to convince you taking a job that earns less is a good idea for any reason other than them getting a recruitment fee
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Suppose for a moment that nation wide, only 2% of computer science graduates are female and computer science graduates are your ideal candidate. If your team is compromised of 40% frmale, then wouldn't this be discrimination against candidates that are male since you've disproportionately selected female candidates over male Candidates. Wouldn't this be shown statistical significant against the Bull Hypothesis. If it were Asian candidates would you say the same thing?
Thoughts please.24 -
Knowing that being asked to help the PM with his Client Project Status Report on a Friday evening means a) it's late, b) he has no idea what has happened since the last one and c) you'll be writing it all anyway.
Repeat each week for the rest of eternity -
Let's just say that I hate configuration of any kind.
AWS IAM, Cloudfront... it all makes me want to end it all.
Why can't this stuff just work?4 -
Nothing says asshole like a guy who won't approve your MR even though the feature is working but they prefer implementing it using their preferred approach.
Different coding styles for different folks. What matters is that the approach used is efficient, working and tested. But oh no, you have to write the code exactly how they want it.
Good thing we're free to merge our own MR when the reviewer takes more than two days to merge it.4 -
Hire are a few tips to up productivity on development which has worked for me:
1) Use a system of at least 16gb ram when writing codes that requires compilation to run.
2) Test your code at most 3 times within an hour. This will combat the bad habit of practically checking changes on every new block you write.
3) Use internet modem in place of mobile hotspot and keep mobile data switched off. This will combat interruptions from your IM contacts and temptations to check your WA status update when working.
4) Implementation before optimisation... This is really important. It's tempting to rewrite a whole block even when other task are pending. If it works just leave it as is and move on to the next bull to kill, you can come back later to optimise.
5) Understand that no language is the best. Sometimes folks claim that PHP is faster than python. Okay I say but let's place a bet and I'll write a python code 10 times faster than your PHP on holiday. Focus more on your skill-set than the language else you'd find yourself switching frameworks more than necessary.
6) Check for existing code before writing an implementation from scratch... I bet you 50 bucks to your 10 someone already wrote that.
7) If it fails the first and then the second time... Don't try the third, check on StackOverflow for similar challenge.
8) When working with testers always ask for reproducible steps... Don't just start fixing bugs because sometimes their explanation looks like a bug when other times it's not and you can end up fixing what's never there.
9) If you're a tester always ask for explanations from the dev before calling a bug... It will save both your time and everybody's.
10) Don't be adamant to switching IDE... VSCode is much productive than Notepad++. Just give it a try an see for yourself.
My 10 cents.1 -
Well my day was just too boring and i was depressed a bit too much....
My win10 LTSC lap fucking decided to fucking bamboozle me! My icons wanished on my desktop and because my dvd drive has opened by itself before i nearly shitted myself to death (because i have thought that i got drive cleaning virus) but after a reboot to the other hdd (the old one with old win 10, not the new ssd) everything looked normal!
Well Im now very motivated to study maths thanks windows!1 -
Crucifixion, bronze bull or rabies: what's the best fate for my mother? Maybe you have other suggestions?14
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Postman freaking sucks now. It's bloated and can't easily do what's it's supposed to do without hassle. You have to login first, then it will inexplicably lose all your previous API requests.
I guess the company has forgotten who their base customers are.6 -
Darth voor the hedgehog
Favorite drink: Red Bull sugar free
Favorite color: black
Tried to marry Cocteau twins lead singer
Carries an m14
When picked, can instantly retrofit your tv with a subwoofer that is really a guitar amp2 -
Trying to read the description/usage for WP functions to figure out what's going on is like getting lost inside a maze...inside a maze.
I swear people write these descriptions for people who already know what the functions are and what they do. #UselessToMe -
Why the fuck would Google promote Jetpack Compose as a stable toolset when it doesn't even support a basic feature such as a scrollbar.
A. Fucking. Scrollbar.
LazyColumn can't even come close to being as powerful as Recyclerview.
Here's an idea, before launching something and touting it as something usable, and encouraging people to drop the old, battle tested tool for the new shiny one, how about you make sure the new doesn't lack features present in the old one?
Seems logical, right?
Methinks somebody was just looking for a promotion because, clearly, Jetpack Compose is a half-baked product.
Now, developers will have to suffer because project managers will read about the new framework and ask devs to use it, then wonder why the app is suffering.2 -
Work prank i want to pull of....
We kind of did all of it🤗😂
Wanted to put a bull horn under my co workers table. We did actually do it and made a video of it.
Have never stopped crying from laughs🤗
If you can’t have fun then why bother!?!?1 -
I'm so fucking sick of auto pay bull shit. Auto renews, auto debit for bills... Fuck off folks. AWS just charged me 150 bucks and now it will cause my rent to be returned nsf because their shit only has ACH.
Fuck you amazon. Going back to my 7 dollar VPS. May be an outdated OS version andimited but at least I don't need lube to use them.5 -
For developers writing a thesis, article or an essay is really an axe to grind. However such challenges are now dealt by using online essay writing services where qualified writers are available to write as many pages and of any kind. Research papers and thesis writing is like a piece of cake for them and one of the best examples of quality writing service is https://www.5staressays.com.
5StarEssays support stafff are committed to provide highly empathetic services and an info graphic is shared by them to take the writing bull by it's horns.
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Has anyone used or seen a nice lua back end wrapped already in a windows front end programming platform, I have made many apps do many things in a app called AutoPlayMediaStudios, even tho it was made for AutoPlay Menus at first the tools it as and can make are epic but it's getting past it and the support is bad for $300 you get the app at that time and 6 months support and update after that you get NO updates and no real support.
I looking to move forward,there is the option to learn a new language for most people but for me I do it for fun and I just want to be able to keep supporting the tools I already made but in a more updated platform and better windows integration.
I love lua as its 90% if not 100% readable and understandable so when I get a error I can see it easy.
Love to see what other apps might be out there, also I don't want to make overlay apps I want to make core exe's fk MS's overlay bull.
Thanks for reading.1 -
How the hell can a framework like Zend 3 have an instance of a class, this container, this service manager, that is basically responsible for instantiating everything but not have it accessible on a global level? Why do I have to create a factory class for every class that i intend to have access to this service manager? Zend is bull-fucking-shit.
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I just want to scream at these retards
A decade apart and their simple stupid asses are still smiling brainlessly about doing the same thing playing their stupid weird code crap over and over
LabotomiZed crazy fucking garbage !!
Until they showed up in this state no two days were the same now all of them are because they’re not alive
They’re not human
And they’re not relevant
They are happy tucked up slaves that liars use to manipulate everyone through their brainless smiling doopty doo bull shit !2
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