7
kiki
1d

Communism: you have two cows. The state takes both and gives you milk for free. Then, the state sells one cow overseas for a bull, breed cows and get everyone unconditional free milk.

Capitalism: you have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. You start breeding cows and selling milk. Then, Nestle comes and makes you go out of business.

Comments
  • 5
    > and get everyone unconditional free milk

    Surely...
  • 1
    @12bitfloat we never saw a real, working communist society, so I can't give you a counter-proof

    I suppose that's the point. I doubt it can work at all. So yeah, no communist utopia for u
  • 2
    Anarchy: the cows question the basis on which your authority to sell their milk is predicated.
  • 3
    @kiki Here's the actual version:

    Communism: you have two cows. Because you dared having someone not everyone has, the communist agitators rile up the indoctrinated townsfolk so that they lynch your family and rape your wife

    The two cows are taken by the bureau and put into a communal form. Due to corruption and mismanagement the cows starve to death before ever producing any milk

    After waiting for 4 hours in line you notice that there is no more milk available, so you have to go hungry another day
  • 1
    @12bitfloat is that Khmer Rouge? It didn't work because the power was taken by a dictator that enforced the cult of personality. In communism, the government (e.g. the thing that decides who gets what) is collectively owned by a huge crowd of people with guns that will defend its distributed nature and prevent coercion and centralization under one leader. At least in theory. In reality, it didn't work once. I don't know why.
  • 1
    how's nestle making you go out of business
  • 1
    @jestdotty competition of your product of course. Mass produce is most times cheaper and cheapii with certain quality wins mostly.
  • 2
    @retoor @jestdotty also, they have big enough pockets to sell at loss for long enough for you to go bankrupt
  • 2
    Communism: you have two cows. The state takes both and gives you milk for free. Then, the state sells one cow overseas for a bull, breed cows and get everyone unconditional vaccine injected free milk.

    Btw, what if you freaking loved that cow? It was your freaking best friend and the government TAKES IT? Is that a system you want to live in?

    I like to write stuff like this because it's part for training of my bots since I have a keylogger. Crazy shit is allowed.
  • 5
    You have two cows; your neighbour has none.

    Everyone knows that the only reason why some people have no cows is that some other people have too many cows, so some men from the government come to your farm and shoot your cows.

    A week later, despite the government having shot every cow in the village, none of your neighbours have any cows. This conclusively proves that you are hiding at least fifty cows somewhere.

    You are sentenced to hard labour until you tell the government where all the cows are.
  • 1
    @donkulator As Žižek would put it, "you need gulag".
  • 1
    @retoor Nestle's markup for the ingredients of what they're making is insane. it's like 2 cents of sludge per 1L cup of coke you're paying 4$ at your fast food place at

    I think they spend half their revenue on advertising and that might be an understatement
  • 1
    @kiki why would they sell at a loss. they're a publicly traded company. they'd lose investors. legally they have to do what makes investors the most money or said investors will sue them. and selling at a loss is one of those things that would open you up to such a liability
  • 2
    I actually know the answer to my own question but it wouldn't look nice on the communism angle

    capitalism or communism you still have the same people in your government. if they are corrupt under capitalism they will be corrupt under communism as well, just now they have you more dependent so they can take you for more of your shit. at least in capitalism they have to negotiate because you can stand on your own two-feet instead of them telling you most people don't have two feet so fuck you chop chop

    ---

    Nestle and others will do a regulatory capture. they will have the government tell all the small businesses that the way they're doing business is illegal. you either pay 100k a month to this regulatory inspector or you die as a business, we will ensure it. now you have no cows because it's too prohibitively expensive to. nestle can pay 100k a month for its 3 billion cows, and you can't produce enough milk from your 20 to make 100k a month to cover the government fees
  • 1
    @Liebranca That dude's only 2 years older than his father-in-law.

    He needs gulag.
  • 1
    @jestdotty WOW WOW WOW DOTTI. A lot of companies sell with loss until you get bankrupt. Take Uber for example. Or flash deliveries (those people on bicicles that deliver your 80 cent banana). There were three flash delivery services in the Netherlands but now only one afaik.

    We are crazy people, why would we need our groceries NOW? Learn planning or smth.

    Some research showed that people honestly don't care if they have to wait one OR two days for delivery of stuff. I personally, if i bought a book, want to have it directly tbh.
  • 1
    @donkulator Even in gulag, comrade Slavoj find new ways to sniff cocaine, use American product for disguising marketing as fatuous philosophy, marry much younger woman, and so on and so on...
  • 1
    @12bitfloat crapitaliSM:

    You have two cows, walmart doesnt pay shit for milk, you starve like an idiot.
  • 1
    in terms of politics one should be proud and free like the mighty tiger. Kittyz not working like a slave and eat the rich. Good kitti
  • 1
    @jestdotty all we need to do is to eat the prime minister like the dutch did.
  • 1
    i mean look at dat kitti that kittiz no bitchie she knows she wont be second class citizen no sir kittis livin in the moutain where nobody can find him
  • 1
    right kitti
  • 1
    @antigermanist he tasted like chicken. What was left, was donated to the KFC.
  • 1
    @antigermanist kitti is ok, but what about the dogs we have as pets, or even better -> the house cats that sleep 80% of the day? Those are the real bosses, they have humans providing everything for them. We think that we're lucky to be human, imagine to be a doggo or a catto. We were never the winner. We all together are the most cruel and sweet at the same time in dem world. But the average person is a very nice animal these days, too weak to kill it's own cow.

    My point: the house cat has a better life than the kitti you provided. Your kitti gets old someday and brutally murdered by his own friends. Imagine if that is what getting old means. I would be a vegetarian tiger to live longer :P Last sentence is not serious, I know they're not build for that and probably are weak and get killed by youth if they do that. Just like real life vegetarians are a bit weak and need some extra pills to raise certain levels. You would thing that we have a few pointy theet for a reason too.
  • 1
    @retoor they are domesticated kitties. Big kitties are free and dont eat what human gives them. They eat whole humans
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