in an alternate universe there exists a clientRant, where clients come together and share their horror stories of dealing with devs.

In an alternate universe, Soviet Russia won the Race to the moon, the Cold War wasn't actually "Cold". And Russia took all of America's technology. Changed the programming languages to Russian. You're now forced to code in Russian.

Write about what you'd do, Comrade.

In an alternate universe, devs live in their own country.

They make their own rules and dictate how much they are paid. They maintain the entire world’s infrastructure.

They don’t go to work, since their entire country is the workplace and guess what? Cold beers are free(a thank you from the beer company guys for coming up with all their inventory management systems)

Pizza is free too.

There is no government (laws are passed depending on upvotes on devRant )

No racism, sexism or any other ism ending words . Devs just code.

Oh, and the state police, preferably known as keyboard warriors patrol the streets and offenders are punished by limited internet speeds. 😂. It is said some actually commit suicide because of this unbearable punishment.

Fuck yeah they have coffee farms. That’s the only thing they don’t accept as *gratitude from other nations because those sons of bitches might fuck that up too.

And everyone drives teslas 😂

Okay I have to get back to work now. That multi universe travel machine won’t buy itself.

In an alternate universe 😂

There could be an alternate universe where devRant is used to share excitement and joy about switching to Windows.

meanwhile in alternate universe I ranted on twitter about devrant being down

Windows should not exist.

Imagine what the world would look like if everyone were only using *nix like Os's everywhere.
How much technology could be more refined and advanced.

What if we were in an alternate universe where Java was a scripting language and therefore was the same as JavaScript, and all non-programmers thought they were different.

Scenario A:
Your code is working. You run again, now it's not working.

Scenario B:
Works on production. Next day it doesn't.

It is nothing you just experienced alternate universe. You probably with your manager temporarily jumped into another timeline where your code is not working.

Next time it happens tell your manager it's not your fault.

Eureka!

Imagine an alternate universe where websites are actually just raw markup and style sheets.

People read this and imagine what the website look like.

If your day is bad, imagine that, in an alternate dystopian universe, everyone and their mother are programming through the means of bodyfuck (real thing, look it up)..

Apparently the universe doesn't want me+so to take a holiday. My first proper holiday in about 5 years between uni/being skint was supposed to start tomorrow, nothing too fancy, a week in southern France. Ryanair cancelled our outbound flight yesterday, rebooked and changed accommodation to Sunday, they've just cancelled that too so now slightly frantically trying to find alternate transport.

Fuck.

Was talking with a coworker about a fictional scenario. I described walking up to the secretary receiving desk and standing there eating donut holes. There is currently a box of donut holes sitting there. I talked about standing there eating the donut holes and just starting blankly at the secretary. If the secretary tries to engage in conversation I would just act as if nothing has been said. Just keep eating donut holes. I described this as being Aggressively Anti-Social (AAS).

I will need to add this to my ideas for a tech movie. Does anyone else think up alternate universe scenarios? These crack me up.

What if we have devRant on alternate universe, how do you call it?

There could be an alternate universe where everybody is used to share excitement and joy about the BSOD on Windows. #tux_is_king

most complicated code till now must be the universe......
.....if you know what i mean