FUCK ANDROID, FUCK SDK AND FUCK GRADLE

In pair programming session with intern. She deletes something she shouldn't have.

Me: No, wait, don't delete that, undo.
Intern: ...
Intern: What is undo? How do I do that?
Me: ...
Me: *cringes internally*
Me: Uhm.
Me: Go to Edit > Undo, or press Ctrl+Z

I think I understand what is wrong, this poor individual has extremely rudimentary computer literacy skills worse than my 77-year old stepdad's and someone in management decided to give her a Junior Software Engineering position (actually paid internship) which is doing more harm than good.

So, Twitter fired the entire Indian team (or almost, Im not so sure) and one person posted on LinkedIn that went like, "If you've been laid off, just learn something new and Upskill yourself."

Like yeah, no shit Sherlock.

I imagine this is the same kind of people who tell depressed people, "Oh, you're depressed? Just Cheer Up!"

I'm happy that Twitter employees just up and left when Elon Musk tried to bully them into working 100-hour weeks or have them leave the company. (According to what I read online).

It's not about the downfall of Twitter, but the employees showing the world that they can get better jobs elsewhere, if they are pushed over the edge.

I hope it sends a message to all douchebag CEOs and managers around the world that do the same kinda thing.

The nightmare continues.

Currently dealing with a code review from a “principal” dev (one step above senior), who is unironically called a “legendary dev” by some coworkers. It’s painfully obvious he didn’t read the code, and just started complaining and nitpicking.

It’s full of requests to do things that make absolutely no sense, and would make the code an unmaintainable mess.
• Ex: moving the logic and data collection from the module’s many callers into the module instead of just passing in the data.
• Ex: hiding api endpoint declarations by placing them in the module itself, and using magic instance variables to pass data to it. Basically: using global functions and variables instead of explicit declarations and calls.
• Ex: moving the logic to determine which api endpoint to use, for all callers, into the view.

More comments about methods being “too complex” (barely holds water) right next to comments saying “why are these separate? merge them together!”

Incredulously asking how many times I’m checking permissions and how ridiculous it all is. (The answer? Twice.)

Conflating my “permissions” param and method names with a supposedly forthcoming permissions system overhaul, and saying I shouldn’t use permissions because my code will all have to get rewritten. Even if that were true, and it’s likely not, the ticket still needs to use the current permissions. I can’t just ignore them because they might be rewritten someday.

Requests to revert some code cleanup because the reviewer thought the previous heavily-nested and uncommented versions (with code duplication) were easier to read. Unsurprisingly, he wrote them.

On the same ticket, my boss wants me to remove all styling and clientside validation, debouncing, and error messages from a form. Says “success” and “connection failed” messages are good enough. The form in question sends SMS and email using arbitrary user input for addresses. He also says it shouldn’t be denounced on the server, and doesn’t want me to bother checking permissions. Hello, spam!

Related: the legendary dev reviewer says he can’t think of a reason why we would want to disable the feature for consumers, so I should remove the consumer feature flag.

You can’t make this stuff up.

Intern's CV says they have technical skills with MS Office, MySQL and JavaScript. Last month I let my manager know that this intern doesn't really know anything, so we let her do a Freecodecamp course, after which she still cannot build a basic HTML and CSS page and doesn't understand the relationship between HTML and CSS.

My manager bought her a Laravel course for beginners and today I discovered that she also doesn't understand databases, because she tried to enter an alphabetic character into a column that only accepts integers. She doesn't read/understand the error codes thrown by the application.

She tried to access a route which she created in her Laravel app by accessing it via the phpmyadmin dashboard and called me and wasted my time by asking me why her route isn't working. She literally does not understand how computers work, or how the HTTP protocol works, even less so how a file structure works. She cannot translate abstractions to practical solutions.

She either deliberately lied on her CV to get a job, or she's just really dumb and doesn't understand what the term "technical skills" mean.

I've told my manager multiple times how I think she's in the wrong job, but they keep pushing things beyond her capabilities onto her desk. I was told I'd get an intern to help me with my work load, but I got signed up into an experiment I did not consent to (manager's words, it's an experiment to help uplift people with bad degrees and a poor background). I am not a good teacher, I hate doing it.

Recently, our team hired an arrogant trainee-junior to the team, who turned out to be mean towards the other developers and in a habit of publicly mocking their opinions and going as far as cursing at them. He steals credit and insults others. He openly admits he's an offensive person and not a team player. When someone from the team speaks, he might break into laughter and say demeaning sentences like "that's so irrelevant oh my god did you really say that? hahaha". Our team consists of polite and introverted engineers who cannot stand up to bullies. Normally this kind of behavior won't be suitable even if you work in a burger shop especially not from a trainee. Let alone trainee, the rude behavior of Linus Torvalds was not tolerated, despite him being in the top position and a recognized star talent in the IT field.

I personally no longer feel comfortable speaking up during teams meetings or in the slack team chat. I'm afraid my opinions will be ridiculed or ashamed - likely will be called "irrelevant". I respond only if I'm directly addressed. We have important features coming up, requested by the customer, but I feel discouraged to publicly ask questions - I sort of feel having to regress into contributing less for the product. I also witness that other younger developers speak less now in meetings and team chat. Feels like everyone is hiding under the bed. Our product team used to have friendly working atmosphere but now the atmosphere is a bit like we're not a team anymore but a knot.

Lesson I learnt from here is: There is a reason why some companies have personality tests and HR interviews. Our proud short boarding process was consisting of a single technical interview. Perhaps at least a team interview should be held before hiring a person to the team, or the new hire should at least be posed a question: are you a team player? Technical skills can be taught more easily than social skills. If some youngster is unable to communicate in a civilized manner for even five minutes, it should raise some red flags. Otherwise you will end up with people who got refused from other companies which knew better.

Just scored my personal red flag bingo in new project:
- engineers who work there for 20+ years
- their own in house build tool
- "we have Jira so it means we are agile"
- "we have Jenkins so it means we do Ci/cd"
- git adoption is "in progress"

Well, shit... I may have just shot myself in the foot. 🤔

5 years worth of asking my boss to get a Mac development machine for me, thereby allowing me to better create and maintain the hybrid mobile apps I've been building for him for years...

I finally got a definitive "yes, we'll do that" about 2 or 3 weeks back.

Now, running into stupid startup crashes on the aging iPad (6th gen) that I have for testing, I asked if I can just get a "Mac in cloud" subscription IN THE MEANTIME, you know, to help me meet deadlines...

His response: "Ah, yes.. that's a nice elegant solution, now you don't need a Mac! Well done."

F.. M.. L..

For each day on devrant I feel this place more like a community than a social media. And damn thats good. Thank you all for making my day

A while back, I ranted about emojis in code.

My nightmares are becoming reality.

Behold, production code:

My colleague wanted me to examine a script issue. I open it up, and it took several minutes to comprehend how it worked. Once it finally clicked:

Me: I can’t decide if this is idiotic or genius.
Colleague: Well, YOU wrote it.
Me: Oh… Genius it is, then!

I'm reading jobs ads for engineers at my current company and laughing. It sounds so serious with the wording they use but in reality, it's a clownhub.

This shows I should not be intimidated by job ads and trust my abilities and have more fucking confidence!

!dev
GOD FUCKING DAMMIT

My Mother was intelligent enough to get her phone stolen and screams at me over the phone of my brother why I can't do more than telling her the last known location

BECAUSE THEY SHUT IT DOWN
I CAN'T DO SHIT WITHOUT THE PHONE HAVING AN INTERNET CONNECTION

But what if they go through my files go into my bank account

THEY CAN'T BECAUSE YOU HAVE A PASSWORD ON IT

but they could crack it or something

NO THEY CAN'T WITHOUT TRYING FOR MONTHS OR YEARS OF POSSIBLE COMBINATIONS

but

NO BUT JUST FUCKING CALM DOWN IF THEY AREN'T THAT BAD THEN THEY WILL CALL ME IF THEY ARE ASSHOLES THEY NEED AT LEAST MAKE A FACTORY RESET AND DELETE ALL YOUR FILES
I CAN'T DO MORE THAN THIS SO FUCKING SHUT UP AND DON'T LEAVE YOUR PHONE AT A FUCKING WAITING ROOM AND DON'T BELIEVE EVERYTHING ON THE FUCKING INTERNET ESPECIALLY FACEBOOK

Thanks know I can't concentrate anymore........

Paraphrased conversation I saw in a space forum:

dude1: Our galaxy is moving toward a large cluster of galaxies and we don't know why.

dude2: Could it be gravity?

dude1: No gravity isn't strong enough for the distances involved.

dude3: Those galaxies are sexy as fuck. Our galaxy wants to hit that.

dude4: Is our galaxy old enough for a cluster fuck?

>On a call with Manager
>he's showing off some code
>oh cool he's finally assigning me some real work

PM: So yeah, just wanted to have you on a call to show you how easy it was to fix this.

Me: ... Oh... OK.

PM: yeah so this was completely broken. The last guy that was working on this didn't do a great job. Like seriously, what is this? Amateur hour? Hahaha

Me:... Haha... Yeah, right... 🫠

PM: anyways I figured I would go ahead and do this because it would take me 10 minutes to figure out. It would probably would have taken you 3 hours or something to figure out.

Me: ok... <why tf am on this call other than for you to shit on my skills?>

PM: anyways just wanted to walk you through what I did and show you how easy it was to fix.

Me: ok.

I see a guy on linked in being congratulated for buying a MacBook Pro

I can _feel_ something is not right here but can’t quite point my finger at it.

Took a headoverheels digger on my bike today, groceries went flying, chinos even ripped on the asphalt, first thing this lady bystander says is RAAAAAAAAAAAAA THIS IS A PEDESTRIAN ONLY STREET!!!!!

I'm like no it's not, look at the sign

nO iTs BeEn WrITtEn FoR 2o YeArS, pEdEsTriAnS onLy!!!!!

sure enough at the end of the road, says pedestrians AND bikes allowed... 🤡🤡🤡🤡

stupid bitch, if you're gonna be a bitch at least be right about it

honestly i'm not sure how people navigate through the world, just floating around, no REAL knowledge or consideration of anything, just ideas, hype, and idiotic "feelings"

So.. the software team I work with still maintain Java 6 apps.. meanwhile management keep asking when we're "moving to the cloud".

DevRant posts are too small for me to describe our technical debt.... 🤦