Useless meetings

Most tedious part of my day...

While meetings are boring and awful and all, it's probably spinup times for me. Each and every change requires a minimum of 35 seconds of spinup to test. If i'm testing something with mailers or other daemons, that increases to easily 90+ seconds (plus the worker thread pickup times).

It's not enough time to do anything useful, and more than enough time to lose my focus. It turns every task into boring, tedious struggle. It's awful.

Apart from my coworkers, this is the single worst part about my job. (Okay, the awful code quality totally pushes this to third place.)

it sucks!
Fuck asynchronous code because

Working in Big Tech is just like working in stupid factories in the 1800. You are disposable and not worth anything.

Dunno if it's just ADHD or what, but I just had a whole bag of marshmallows and a mug of coffee and I'm falling asleep. 😴😴😴

Also, if somebody finds my motivation, chain it to something please. SOB keeps running away.

Building my own accounting software because everything else is overly complicated and is trying to compete with enterprise accounting tools. All I want is some budgeting, some bill tracking, and categorization.

Writing in Ruby because I'm a masochist. Using built-in minitest because again 😈.

I have currently around 62 assertions. As soon as I add ANY new test that's literally asserting true, everything comes unglued and 20+ failures pop up. Take it out, 62 passes.

I feel like I'm going crazy at this point. The errors also don't make ANY sense. Shit like, "that record doesn't exist" when it's clearly a part of fixtures and is only used in ONE test(the one that's breaking).

Installed minitest bisect, and it's like 🤷‍♀️"lol get fucked bro!"

So I came here to rant about this before my battery dies and I go drink myself to sleep.

Thank you for coming to my dev-talk.

Hackathons? No thanks, I don't participate in self exploitation tournaments.

Not to do friendly fire or anything but most developers are fucking idiots

Holy shit did Google become fucking useless

Today I spent a good hour looking to buy replacement / low-light lenses for my googles, and all I got were stores from US, or small stores that don't deliver across the Europe. When I gave up and opened Bing, the first result was the exact product I was looking for, from the brand's official EU store. I'm seriously considering switching to Bing now...

We're digital plumbers.

90% of this job is figuring out what thing to connect to what thing and then figuring out how to connect them.

Writing the code that goes in-between both ends of the pipe is easy if not trivial 90% of the time.

Meaningful change in this industry is centered around endpoints: contracts, deployments, etc. Nobody needs yet another way to organize and import their leftpad().

Fuck python and its stupid fucking imports.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

At my last startup, the company decided to formally adopt core values after being in business for ten years already. They even emblazoned them on a mouse pad and sent it out to every employee as company swag. I quickly learned that those values were more for show. It was a sign of the culture going downhill. Values included teamwork and collaboration. But since I was only an IC and wasn’t a manager or director or VP, I was expected to be a mindless worker bee. Even when I just asked logical followup questions, I was treated like I was being insubordinate and “questioning their requests.”

"Let's keep in touch": to your co-workers as you are leaving the shitty company after 3 years and other lies you tell yourself.

I have worked with a handful of very green devs in the last 10 years. A common theme has emerged.

They don't heed any of my advice.

An exercise to the reader:

If you have a Windows machine, but need to work in a Linux environment, what would be your first instinct how to proceed?

In this exercise, you are as green as it gets. You have very little professional development experience, let alone server admin experience. And your lead dev has suggested setting up a VM.

1. Set up a Linux VM
2. Use a live CD or set up a dual boot system
3. Pay for a cloud server and set it up from scratch

I have no idea how this person intends to get any work done on a remote, terminal only, Linux server. That is if I can even get their environment into a sane configuration.

When you turn on antialiasing on windows xp

Nothing to say...

The very first ad banner on the internet, 1994

Just finished a technical interview for a company that asked me to submit a small app.

I guess when they had written the requirements they had anticipated it to be written as a Webform not as a full MVC application 😂. They had expected me to complete and build this single page app in 2-3 hours not in 14... 🫥 Oops

So here we are reviewing it and asking questions about my setup and what I was trying to do. They were impressed enough with it that one guy even admitted that I might be a better programmer than him. 😳 A very kind compliment, but concerning because he's supposed to be my manager...

All in all got through everything and they want me over to meet the team and see what this shop is all about.
I'm excited, they company is seeing immense growth and I might be able to bring in my expertise to expedite some of it.

Did I mention they use SVN for version control? 😳
They want to get into Git soon but they don't know how to. I guess I'll be leading that cause.

One of my biggest challenges as a dev is navigating large unfamiliar codebases. This makes it hard to implement even simple changes.

So there was that paranoid schizophrenic person, a blonde girl with a buzz cut, and somehow she was a friend of mine. She used a Linux distro called “!!!!!!!!____!!!!!”, and convinced me it was the best distro out there. But the way she used it was… very specific.

She called me. She told me the new distro was out, this time it was called “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”, and _this_ was the best one. It finally allowed her to observe the area around her neighbourhood right from her PC, through some app, and make pits in the ground. It was done with a touchscreen of a Nintendo DSi connected to her PC with something that looked like an IDE cable. You touch the area of the screen, and the pit will appear outside IRL. This was needed to trap swine-looking creatures in those pits, as they infested the land and were attacking people in packs, turning them into dirty, greyish, half-transparent lumps of gel.

I went to see her, and somehow I knew exactly how it's going to end, as if I decided to replay a game level. She lived in a rotten, mouldy, dark, half-abandoned condo building. She was also a terrible hoarder. I approach the old wooden door of her flat. It was painted over 1000 times and was barely closing. She knew I would come. She rushed outside, looked at me with her moon-sized eyes, grabbed my arm and told me:
“We have to run.”

I felt a sudden crippling rush of anxiety. I woke up. My heart was absolutely racing. My sight became darker and darker. The chest pain was consuming me, and I could barely move. I almost vomited.

That was quite a night.