Happy April Fool's!

- Windows 8 == Best OS
- Apple is fairly priced
- PHP > C++
- Java === JavaScript
- facebook > devrant
- Github useless, use .zip
- Comic Sans best terminal font
- Nobody needs a web developer because Wordpress much better
- Linux is for virgins

My JavaScript professor once thought my work was "too good" and decided to pull me aside, in front of the class, to practically accuse me of cheating. I had to meet her in her office after hours and talk to pretty much prove it. Once she realized I didn't cheat she was fakey nice the rest of the semester. God forbid a girl be decent at JavaScript without "cheating". 🙄

Found this on telegram channel

Bit out of date but I love this JavaScript explanation!

Tried to install an existing web dev project in Windows 10:
- Install Atom IDE and trying to clone git repo
- Git missing, installing Git for Windows
- Installing Node (so far so good!)
- npm install
- Python missing (???), installing Python
- Ruby (????????) missing, installing Ruby
- .NET Libraries missing, installing .NET 4.0 for the 100th time
- Visual Studio Libraries for C++ 2008 missing (now you're just messing with me mate), installing 4GB of Visual Studio Libraries
- [drumroll sound]
- .....
- npm install breaks with fatal error
- Git for Windows can't be found anymore

Switched to Ubuntu out of frustration:
- Installing Atom IDE
- Installing NodeJS
- Cloning git repo
- npm install
- project is running

whut?

Found this at work today.

He does have a point.. 😂😂😂

That's a beautiful stack right there!

Manager: In ALL cases if someone uses vanilla javascript to do something instead of a library then that is a sign they are an ABSOLUTE BEGINNER!!!

Dev: …

SUPERVISOR: You wrote this 140 lines method, it's too long. You should split it up, it's not readable
IHateForALiving: Bruh be serious, this is a single switch-case; I can't split it.
SUPERVISOR: Fine, I'll do it.

HIS CODE: He split the 140 lines method into 2 methods: the first is 4 lines long; it's a try-catch surrounding a call to the other method, 136 lines long.

When writing a JavaScript guide, please don't use emojis as keys in objects. Or anywhere else in code. Zoomers will think it's common practice.

Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.

Sincerely,
everyone

I love how JS lets you throw absolutely nothing.

Like "Why is Facebook webpage running so slow" (I think cuz of all the tracking stuff, and they are having trouble on my Linux machine). But I gave it a naive duck-duck and found this brilliant tip to "Reinstall JavaScript" to improve that performance. I'm just so speechless rn... And the cherry on the ice-cream is the link :D

My son has started learning javascript at school, but he is complaining that all the $ signs are ugly! Yep, they're teaching the kids with jquery.

I don't know whether to laugh or cry 😱😱😱

The 1st rule of Javascript is: You don't admit you program Javascript.

The 1st rule of Rust is: You tell everyone you program Rust and how it is better than basically any programming language that existed or will exist.

The 1st rule of C++ is: There are no rules because everyone was too busy debugging templates to think of any rules.

The 1st rule of Java is: You must have excessive numbers of classes and boilerplate. The more boilerplate the better.

The 1st rule of Haskell is: It is great to learn, but you will never see it again once you leave college.

Stop using 5 year old, terrible drag and drop website designer which uses inline CSS and JavaScript and let us actually write it. They (barely) teach us html and then say that using a website designer is how it works in the real world. They actually disallow us writing it from scratch. Just glad I taught myself it already!

That glorious moment when you remove a function from your Javascript.

is_internet_explorer()

It's one job was to detect and prompt a user about not using IE on this shit for a stain website - ironically built for IE 😂

You sir, will not be missed 🥳

I lost my job 😅 tbh did me a favour. I was backend, this guy was frontend and was a typical opinionated JavaScript, magpie dev and I just did not give 2 fucks about what he thought was “amazballs” and we had a small tiff, we’ll he was arguing, I was trying to do my job and I just didn’t care enough about his feelings on the subject, forget what it was about but I think it was trivial. But anyway, I was let go soon after 😅

1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + 5 + “6”

What do you call it when you type a script? A TypeScript. Then you spill coffee on it...

now it's a JavaScript.

code consists of many sad dudes.

New spin on the Manager / Dev format!

Recuiter: WE NEED AN ABSOLUTE NODE EXPERT, NODE NODE NODE, WE LOVE NODE! WHAT IS YOUR NODE EXPERIENCE?!?!

Dev: Well I've had exposure to it since it was nearly new, all the way back in 2012, and since my professional career started about 7 years ago I've used it fairly often on a per-project basis.

Recruiter: WELL HAVE YOU BEEN USING IT DAILY FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS!?!

Dev: Well no, as I said I've used it for specific projects... anyway, there are these things called weekends...

Recruiter: WELL WE ONLY WANT NODE ZOMBIES SO SORRY.

Dev: Thanks for reaching out and wasting my time.

Recruiter: ...

Dev: ...

God recruiters are like robots, don't they understand senior-level engineers are language agnostic?

Just spent 10+ hours refactoring a code, and at the end I've figure it out a one line fix to the problem... just wasted 10 hours of my life.. :)

So I’m learning C for a systems programming course and I’m starting to appreciate every other language that I’ve worked with in the past for the level of abstraction they provide 🥲

Not you JavaScript. Not you

I enjoy being an embedded software engineer that is allowed to use C for most projects and doesn't have to program JavaScript or PHP nor has to use dozens of foreign libraries.

I’m dying

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

JavaScript frameworks are bad
Each upvote on this post hinders development of bad JavaScript frameworks

Javascript frameworks

Some undocumented, never touched, 15 years old recursive function at the core of our business model suddenly stops working in a niche scenario, debugger is not available and I have to find out why.

I got tired of relearning JavaScript frameworks and instead tried to escape their clutches.

Most of my developer life I've spent relearning how to do the same thing in a different framework.

And every three or four years its the same story, figure out templating, figure out building, complain on github bugs etc.

I am trying to reduce framework fatigue by allowing you to think "can I make my application with just vanilla JavaScript". The advantage of vanilla JavaScript is it write once - do not need to rewrite.

Do YOU think I will abandon ship and end up having to use a framework again?

JavaScript is fun when your not fucking bad at programming you stupid jquery-loving, abstractionless, monoparadigm, encapsulationphobia fucks

No other language can do something as fucky as javascript.

"7 high severity vulnerabilities"
$> npm audit fix --force
"13 vulnerabilities (11 high, 2 critical)"

How is this fixed?!

It will be a great day when JS finally prolapses under the weight of its own hubris.

Hey, it's 2023.

If your component isn't written in TypeScript, I'm not using it :)

"TypeScript is overly complicated!!!" why, because it pointed out everything wrong in your JS code?

"TypeScript is not flexible!!!" why, because it makes you not rely on fragile "only possible in javascript" patterns?

"TypeScript isn't needed!!!" why, because you've never worked on a project with more than 100 lines of code where dependency management and clean code policies were implemented?

god just stop with the JavaScript purist BS, you aren't going to win this battle, and it's even worse because not only are you injuring everyone in the software community, you're injuring your own productivity and skillset

actually, you know what, fine. just use pure JS and HTML implementations. see you in 10 years when i'm retired and you are still running around in circles wondering why the world has left you behind

parseInt("220125152409071002")
220125152409071000

Looks good... looks good... looks good... wait wtf?!? where the hell is the 2?!?!

I currently have 5168 node_modules folders on my computer.
Not 5168 folders inside node_modules, but 5168 actual node_modules folders.

That's all. That's the rant.

Programmer are good guy 😎

Imagine

websites didn't use unnecessary cookies,
JavaScript was only used when needed,
no trackers, no ads, no telemetry, no user
data saved when it doesn't benefit the user.

*Wakes up in cold sweat*

ATWOOD's Law

Literally!!😂😂😂

The real difference between const and let:

const {🧑🏻👩🏻 } = ❤️;
let {🧑🏻👩🏻 } = 💔;

A thousand years ago, Erik the Red names Greenland "Greenland" (even though it's icy) to trick travellers into coming there.

LiveScript was renamed to JavaScript for similar reasons.

The company I work for offered a Javascript Course/Training for every developer to enroll, which happens to take place on 3 days. In the description it was ensured to be for everyone, doesn't matter if you are an expert or beginner: there's something to learn for everyone.

The company described him as a top coacher in Austria and that he is overbooked for 2 years. High in demand indeed. "Has to be good", I thought. As a relatively average JS developer, there has to be something to learn for me.

Sitting here the second day, I fucking regret to join this shit. I have never seen such a bullshit in my lifetime. Why the fuck would you even book this man, he doesn't even understand basic concepts of software engineering. Just reading down the script, opening the script on one laptop and showcaseing it on the other. When someone asks a question, there's a 70% chance he doesn't know the answer. It takes this scumbag 30 fucking seconds to define a function; probably making spelling mistakes alongside.

I don't even want to know how much this dude will make from this "coaching". Hoped that it'd get better over time but I don't see an improvement. Contacting my boss that I'll leave this "training".

Coding in JavaScript is coding blind. You never know when you might step in shit

There seems to be a lot of hatret for JavaScript. I fully understand and endorse that.

So how can we get another language supported in web browsers and which language should it be?

I just spent a full hour basically telling someone not to use filter as forEach

Trigger Warning - Don't date JavaScript developers.

They Promise to Callback but they won't. You'll Await in vain. They don't know how to Express themselves and React to such situations.
You might not be happy to hear this, but I'm trying to save you from a Garbage situation

I've been working on a proof of concept for my thesis for a few days and the async query calls drove me nuts for quite a while. I finally managed to deliver all query results asynchronously while still very much relying on a strong architectural design pattern. I am filled with caffeine, joy and a sense of pride and accomplishment.

Please stop making stuff with JavaScript.
I have a fairly old and slow laptop.

Java or javascript

JS is too funny 😂

Static HTML pages are better than "web apps".

Static HTML pages are more lightweight and destroy "web apps" in performance, and also have superior compatibility. I see pretty much no benefit in a "web app" over a static HTML page. "Web apps" appear like an overhyped trend that is empty inside.

During my web browsing experience, static HTML pages have consistently loaded faster and more reliably, since the browser is immediately served with content useful for consumption, whereas on JavaScript-based web "apps", the useful content comes in **last**, after the browser has worked its way through a pile of script.

For example, an average-sized Wikipedia article (30 KB wikitext) appears on screen in roughly two seconds, since MediaWiki uses static HTML. Everipedia, in comparison, is a ReactJS app. Guess how long that one needs. Upwards of three times as long!

Making a page JavaScript-based also makes it fragile. If an exception occurs in the JavaScript, the user might end up with a blank page or an endless splash screen, whereas static HTML-based pages still show useful content.

The legacy (2014-2020) HTML-based Twitter.com loaded a user profile in under four seconds. The new react-based web app not only takes twice as long, but sometimes fails to load at all, showing the error "Oops something went wrong! But don't fret – it's not your fault." to be displayed. This could not happen on a static HTML page.

The new JavaScript-based "polymer" YouTube front end that is default since August 2017 also loads slower. While the earlier HTML-based one was already playing the video, the new one has just reached its oh-so-fancy skeleton screen.

It would once have been unthinkable to have a website that does not work at all without JavaScript, but now, pretty much all popular social media sites are JavaScript-dependent. The last time one could view Twitter without JavaScript and tweet from devices with non-sophisticated browsers like Nintendo 3DS was December 2020, when they got rid of the lightweight "M2" mobile website.

Sometimes, web developers break a site in older browser versions by using a JavaScript feature that they do not support, or using a dependency (like Plyr.js) that breaks the site. Static HTML is immune against this failure.

Static HTML pages also let users maximize speed and battery life by deactivating JavaScript. This obviously will disable more sophisticated site features, but the core part, the text, is ready for consumption.

Not to mention, single-page sites and fancy animations can be implemented with JavaScript on top of static HTML, as GitHub.com and the 2018 Reddit redesign do, and Twitter's 2014-2020 desktop front end did.

From the beginning, JavaScript was intended as a tool to complement, not to replace HTML and CSS. It appears to me that the sole "benefit" of having a "web app" is that it appears slightly more "modern" and distinguished from classic web sites due to use of splash screens and lack of the browser's loading animation when navigating, while having oh-so-fancy loading animations and skeleton screens inside the website. Sorry, I prefer seeing content quickly over the app-like appearance of fancy loading screens.

Arguably, another supposed benefit of "web apps" is that there is no blank page when navigating between pages, but in pretty much all major browsers of the last five years, the last page observably remains on screen until the next navigated page is rendered sufficiently for viewing. This is also known as "paint holding".

On any site, whenever I am greeted with content, I feel pleased. Whenever I am greeted with a loading animation, splash screen, or skeleton screen, be it ever so fancy (e.g. fading in an out, moving gradient waves), I think "do they really believe they make me like their site more due to their fancy loading screens?! I am not here for the loading screens!".

To make a page dependent on JavaScript and sacrifice lots of performance for a slight visual benefit does not seem worthed it.

Quote:

> "Yeah, but I'm building a webapp, not a website" - I hear this a lot and it isn't an excuse. I challenge you to define the difference between a webapp and a website that isn't just a vague list of best practices that "apps" are for some reason allowed to disregard. Jeremy Keith makes this point brilliantly.
>
> For example, is Wikipedia an app? What about when I edit an article? What about when I search for an article?
>
> Whether you label your web page as a "site", "app", "microsite", whatever, it doesn't make it exempt from accessibility, performance, browser support and so on.
>
> If you need to excuse yourself from progressive enhancement, you need a better excuse.

– Jake Archibald, 2013

TypeScript and JavaScript

Came across this sorting function in JS, should it be allowed?

Jest? It's the perfect name for a testing library, because I certainly feel like a clown! 🤡

#clowndrivendevelopment

That’s how you should format a date in JS/TS!

Writing a Unit test to test the Unit test that's testing your application, because you can never be sure about anything.

Wasted a bloody hour today wondering why a route was giving weird errors...

Turns out I inadvertently wrote a for ... in ... loop instead of a for ... of ...

It's my bloody fault for being retarded, but I swear this unholy mix of JavaScript and python I'm dealing with is doing bad things to my brain. 😔

every javascript developer uses the mighty console.log()

NO, YOU ABSOLUTE DISGUSTING GREMLIN OF A JS HTTP CLIENT, I DON'T WANT YOU TO "JsOn.StRiNgiFy" MY PAYLOAD OR DOING ANY WEIRD SHIT

I NEED TO SEND THIS THING EXACTLY AS IT'S WRITTEN, STOP TRYING TO GUESS WHAT I'M TRYING TO DO I'M A DEV WITH SOME 7 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE WRITING CODE, I'M SENDING A STRING CUZ I NEED TO SEND A STRING

Fucking A.I. resume filter bots.

As if tech interviews weren't hard enough, I have to fill my resume with keywords to get past a bot! Every damn application and cover letter has to be unique.

And when I get past a bot, a hiring manager replies with "Sorry, you seem to have more experience with Typescript than JavaScript, and we can't take that risk."

It's the same.damn.language.

Yes, I spend my spare time with C and Python. Why does that say "unsuitable candidate" instead of "versatile"??!!

$#*%!?&@ tech industry.

Take your "Good luck with your future endeavors" and stuff it up your ass.

I love that JS allows for variable swapping,
thanks to structuring / de-structuring.

```JavaScript
[ a , b ] = [ b , a ]
```

Thats all, lol.

Modern English is the JavaScript of natural languages:
1. Abundant, very popular
2. Influenced by god knows how many foreign concepts, historically, especially the modern / USA variant
3. The most popular second language
4. A failed attempt to replace it (and others) with more efficient Esperanto, which is a Dart of natural languages then

In India, the most common languages are: English, Hindi & JavaScript.

It's official, the "front end dev" doesn't know how to code.
Why.
And it's not a "Well I don't know JS because I use React." scenario, no. He has almost no idea of coding.
What was he thinking trying to build the front end of a very complex app with just HTML, CSS and stupid copied and pasted snippets?

which javascript framework to use

Times I have run into event loop / closure related issues in my 10+ years of JavaScript app development: 0

Times I have run into event loop / closure related issues in my 10+ years of interviewing: Uncaught RangeError: Maximum call stack size exceeded

SHEESH

Dev2: I don’t like the way that works

Dev: Me neither. But that’s javascript baby!

!rant, but kinda

My new director wants to buy a solution for a portal environment that my institution currently has. I have no qualms over it. My only issue was the company that sells it to be known to provide close to 0 fucking support when shit arises.

During a presentation we were told that they were using state of the art JAVA technology to render items on the page and that their ApI was easy for devs to grasp. This caught my attention since I know of very few and obscure Java frameworks that work with frontend tech (as in, your frontend logic is legit in Java)

The sales people proceed to show us React. Obviously thinking that no one knows what REact was. The dude continues with "This is new Java tech" all proud and shit prompting me to interject that it is "Javascript" the dude brushes it away saying "same thing" to which I reply with "Negative, please make sure that you properly discern Java from Javascript since Java is to Javascript as car is to carpet, completely different environments" the dude sarcastically says that "oh well, didn't know one of the people here was more aware of our own technology than we are" to which I say "and not only that, but the final say in us adopting your tech is mine, so I would rather you keep the sarcasm and the attitude to yourself, bring in a tech person if need be and learn these distinctions since we don't work with Java"

My new director later on went to talk to me since he apparently thought that Java and JS were related in some way. I can't really fault it, last time the dude touched programming was in the early 2000s, previous boss was a C and COBOL developer, but the previous dude would ALWAYS take my word no questions ask, this dude was there asking me if I was sure that Javascript and Java were really completely different environments asking me to show him.

I do not like to be questioned. I shoot the shit here and don't really involve myself with more technical aspects under this platform unless it involves concrete architecture discussions and even there I really don't care with engaging on a forum concerning that. But concerning my job I really.......really do not like to be questioned by people that know way the fuck less than me. I started coding when I was 17, I am 30 now, with a degree and years of experience. I really hate to be questioned by this dude.

Fuck JavaScript!

So today my pr needed approval. One of the lines of code created a unique ID using the uuid4 functionality.
I got a reject saying I didn't handle a case where I would get the same uuid twice.
Well, I guess it would be the problem of the developer working on my code in a couple thousands of years 🤷‍♂️

A 4-words horror story:

“JavaScript runs the web”.

Same editor, different languages, mass hysteria...

Person: Can you suggest me some good resource for learning JavaScript?

Developer: You don't Know JS

Person: (Gets offended) I know JS, I wish to have in depth knowledge for JavaScript.

Developer: Hmmm.....

Supervisor: YOU NEED TO INCREASE THE COVERAGE OF YOUR UNIT TESTS! THE FILE logger.js DOESN'T HAVE >80% COVERAGE! IMAGINE PICKING THIS UP 6 MONTHS FROM NOW!

Bro. It's a Winston instance.
I am literally exporting a fucking Winston instance with 0 custom logic.
If 6 months from now I take a file and can't understand a Winston instance anymore, you're well within your right to fire me on the spot.

JavaScript was made easy to learn for all people , but the people are retarded

React router is shit
I have never seen more retarded library.

Not only those suckers change the 100% of the API every fucking update for no reason, also they have the most fucked up documentation ever.

No search in the docs!!! Fucking bullshit examples with no such easy things like how to create nested routes.

Please, stop using this piece of shit, I'm tired of working with this fucking abomination. Hope they will delete their shit repo one day.

So, the GUI is built by writing YANG files that are then transformed into protobufs and jsons. Protobufs are then digested by GWT to compile java into javascript and HTML. What part of the process you don't understand?
Wait, I actually don't exactly know where the jsons end up being used, but apparently they are being sent by C++ backend to GWT frontend. Somehow.

Whenever I'm extra proud of my coding skills, I go to YouTube and watch devs build Pacman, Donkey Kong etc from just plain Javascript or build portraits from just CSS.

It's an effective way to humble myself.

Javascript Developers😂

There might be a special place in hell for the creator of JavaScript. He hacked something in a couple weeks and this monstrosity has been causing hell for devs since the 90s.

He writes "location.reload();" as the default error handler for everything he does.

All these JavaScript frameworks are getting on my fucking nerves.

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, here is an exhaustive list of things I love about JavaScript:

Windows is the JavaScript of OS’s, we criticize it everyday but we still use it everyday, if not by choice then it’s by force 🤣🤣

Reading JS written by “creative” types:

var myArray = []; //un-sorted values

var SortedArray = myArray.sort();

OrderedHtmlElement.innerText = myArray[0];

Look here if you are going to do it wrong at least commit to the wrongdoing!!!

Leave it to the JavaScript framework fanboys to over-engineer simple solutions.

Good morning to everyone, except that one Twitter dev who one day woke up and was like "YOU KNOW WHAT, MY APPLICATION WILL FEATURE BOTH OAUTH1 AND OAUTH2 ENDPOINTS, BUT SOME FEATURES WILL BE EXCLUSIVE TO EITHER OF THE TWO -NOT NECESSARILY THE MOST RECENT, JUST A RANDOM ONE-, AND ALSO THE OFFICIAL TWITTER LIBRARY WON'T COVER ALL THE ENDPOINTS SO PEOPLE WILL HAVE TO RESORT TO RAW HTTP REQUESTS INSTEAD OF USING MY SDK AND ALSO I'MMA MAKE DEVELOPERS FILL 2 VERY DETAILED FORMS, REQUIRING PERSONAL DATA AND ACTUAL REAL PHONE CALLS, JUST TO START DEVELOPMENT WITH 7 DIFFERENT AUTHENTICATION TOKENS, BECAUSE SOME REQUESTS WILL REQUIRE A DIFFERENT AUTHENTICATION METHOD THAN THE OTHER REQUESTS DESPITE ALL OF THEM PERTAINING TO THE SAME FUCKING ENTITY"

All the jQuery... in one single repository / website.
There is a good reason why we should use fucking CDNs.

Edit: Yes, these are different files in different folders.
Edit2: I've already deleted 2 other jQuery files (the library itself).

Helping a friend study for a midterm for a web development class at the university I went to. They have a new teacher this semester and I’m reviewing his slides about javascript to see where the confusion is...

First slide: based off of Java, hence the name JavaScript, but is not Java. Borrows most syntax from Java.

And they wonder why employers comment on the surveys: “unprepared for the workforce”

Looked up the professor.. no experience teaching or any background in cs. And people pay 6-12k / semester for this state university.

The primary concept of reactive programming is great. The idea that things just naturally re-run when anything they rely on is changed is amazing. Really, I think it's the next step in programming language development and within a decade or two at least one of the top 5 programming languages will be built entirely on this principle.
BUT
Expecting every dependency to be used unconditionally is stupid. Code that checks everything it might need all the time even if a decision can be made from much less information is simply bad, inefficient code. If you want to build a list of dependencies automatically, you have to parse the source.
And I really hate that there are TONS of languages that either make the AST readable at runtime or ship with a very powerful preprocessor that could be used to analyse expressions and build dependency lists, but by its sheer popularity the language we're trying to knead into something it was never and still isn't meant to be is JavaScript.

Give up. Share Target API is already on Android, even in garbage like Samsung Internet. Desktop native apps are already history, mobile apps are sure to follow. Led by Apple Silicon, we will add JS-specific hardware to the CPUs and conquer the world. JavaScript will be the only language, with an exception being C and Lisp.

JavaScript is garbage

Here are some facts I found out recently when my linter threw some errors. Just wanted to share with the community. Add anything in the commnets that you wanna share that others don't know.

Just discovered Template Literals in JavaScript.

I can die happy now.

Me when I found out for() is 5-6 times more efficient that .forEach

Oh my dear internet,

FUCK THIS FUCKING SHIT
I AM SICK AND TIRED OF IT, WHO BUILT THIS HACKED TOGETHER ORWELLIAN SWAMP PIT?

Fuck the same fucking Envato template on every content page with 70 layers of sidebars, inline ads, popups, cookies and content shifting as if I was playing CATCH UP WITH YOUR FUCKING CONTENT.

FUCK the same fucking annual upselling 'plans' on every 7-day trial overengineered scam app that requires me to sign up for 1 fucking, falsely advertised task where my fucking password generator doesn't even recognize the input as a password field so I have to cmd+, to my FUCKING BABYLONIAN PASSWORD ARCHIVES PROMPTING ME FOR THE MASTER PASSWORD.
Thank god I can at least CREATE A BURNER CREDIT CARD THAT FREEZES ITSELF BECAUSE I CANNOT BE BOTHERED TO UNSUBSCRIBE FROM YOUR FUCKING STEAMING CRAP.

FUCK every fucking step I take being recorded by our CYBERPUNK OVERLORDS REQUIRING ME to sign up for 5 different fucking privacy protection tools' annual plan or duct tape some open source shit onto my browser just for some BASIC PRIVACY WHILE TRYING TO NAVIGATE ALL THE OTHER 5000 annuals plan naval mines like A FUCKING FRENCH SUBMARINE IN 1940 GERMAN WATERS.

FUCK my walled garden scam ecosystem not being compatible with your walled garden scam ecosystem prompting me to reactivate my old SATANIC GOOGLE DON'T BE EVIL ACCOUNT from 2012 sending me on a DANTE ALIGHIERI STYLE ODYSSEY THROUGH THE 9 LAYERS OF PASSWORD RESET QUESTIONS, UNEXPECTED ERROR, 2FA MY PHONE DIED HELL to come out on the other side as a broken man.

Thank GOD I have your useless SUPPORT PAGE to aid with my signup problems that is actually just an FAQ with a hidden EASTER EGG HUNT for your support form CRISP AI BOT THAT IS ALSO 'currently experiencing high demand due to COVID' which is peculiar since that has been 3 years ago, but fortunately for you enabled you to fire ALL YOUR SUPPORT STAFF AND REPLACE IT WITH THIS BANNER.

I might as well just SCRAPE your fucking content, it'd be faster.

And although it is quite funny, FUCK THIS PAGE TOO for having me create another of 10.000 accounts to write this shit, where my browser firmly placed a newly created burner email into the PASSWORD FIELD.

I do not know how we managed to create something that is even more unwieldy than 56k DIAL-UPS, but I know that if this shit continues I'll have to train my own AGI to proudly interact with of all this STUPID SHIT on my behalf or I'll have to move into THE FUCKING MOUNTAINS AND LIVE WITH THE DEER.

JavaScript will always make you feel stupid

Typescript would be such a beautiful language if it wasn't for JS

The "code":

I work as a freelancer and one time I had a client that needed some work done on a crypto website. I was so hyped up because the money was good so I jumped on it. Fast forward 2 weeks later I still couldn’t figure what the shit I was doing as the client kept asking for update.

Yes, I have experience with blockchain but my skill on Javascript just couldn’t help. I did google and also ask questions on S.O. but it wasn’t enough to get me on track.

At the end, I reached out to the client and apologized for not being able to meet up with their request and then recommended someone else.
So I’d say “I lost faith” on my skill as a Javascript dev at that moment for not being able to use some blockchain APIs effectively and also look forward to improving my catalog.

Reminder: never do anything math related in JavaScript.

I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux I hate Redux

Does anyone really like JavaScript as a language?

I mean i like working with it because you can build a lot of creative and cool stuff with it, but i find the language itself to be hacky, wierd and too complex.

Why was the JavaScript developer sad?

Because he didn't know how to 'null' his feelings.

TypeScript is like the bumper of the Victorinox Inox.
Protect the watch, but it looks horrible.

javascript is garbage

typescript despite best intentions, regardless of how well it's executed, is still garbage as it's some sort of band aid on top of javascript, and javascript is garbage

Before you ask, yes I'm garbage at front end development

Why do front end developers like to write their HTML/Component markup like this:

<div
id="test"
class="test"
>
Test
</div>

That lone > bracket absolutely irks me! Looks ugly! I prefer the Android style:

<div
id="test"
class="test">

<span>Test</span>
</div>

👌clean

So I'm toying around with an old Pentium M laptop I used to use back in 2013-2015,and it's surprisingly more useable than I thought it would be,but I swear I don't remember the internet relying so heavily on JavaScript.

brew install node

keeps going for more than 5 minutes, installing idk dependencies or doing idk wtf

fuck javascript and its ecosystem

Still gonna harp on Javascript though. Come on people. This platform is supposed to be fun. Have fun and bitch about everything. Even non existent stuff!

JavaScript: You don't know what's going wrong.
TypeScript: You don't know how to make it right.

I've been given an intern to help me with my work (lol it's not helping) and she knows almost nothing of web dev, not even what Nodejs is, I had to explain it and guide her step by step on how to install it on her laptop. On her CV it says she has JavaScript experience, but she cannot even put together a basic HTML page, she asked me what a div is. As far as I know, HTML, CSS and JS are pieces of the same pie and you cannot really work with JS unless you also work with HTML and CSS. I think she lied on her CV and I need to tell my manager.

My question is, is it normal to know JavaScript and not know much about HTML and CSS?

Question for those that switched from Web, Mobile Apps development, Full-stack development to Game development after a year or more:
- Do you regret the change?
- What Game engine do you use?
- What Programming language do you use?

Looking for platform specific language options for a new project at work and reading articles from well known sources.

If you start your article with something like, "when I think of a good programming language, I think of JavaScript", I'm going to punch out of your shitty opinion faster than an async function.

When you're trying to convey an unbiased message you generally don't start with, "I'm an absolute shill for {language}".

What the fuck happened to journalistic integrity?

I am curious if this companies hiring requirement would be a red flag for you. They want at least one year of Typescript experience. Fine. They would not consider a person with 5 years of Javascript and zero Typescript experience.

Still using + to concatenate strings in JavaScript in 2022?

That's cute.

!== Stop

In a universe where JavaScript was never invented, the world of programming might look vastly different. Perhaps another programming language would have taken its place, or multiple languages would have coexisted in a more harmonious ecosystem.

Without the challenges posed by JavaScript, web development may have been smoother and more streamlined. Websites could have been faster and more responsive, without the need for complex optimization techniques. There might have been fewer security vulnerabilities to worry about, and the web could have been a safer place for users.

In this utopian world, developers would have had more time to focus on building great user experiences and innovative features, rather than battling with cross-browser compatibility issues and JavaScript quirks. The internet would have been a more accessible and inclusive place, with fewer barriers to entry for those who want to build and create.

Overall, a world without the horrors of JavaScript would have been a world with less frustration and more possibilities.

(Fooling around with ChatGPT)

JavaScript type comparisons. They are annoying, some times they don't make sense and they promote bug making.

I enter a newspaper website. It shows me the article, but 3s later it blocks the page with "Oops you gotta subscribe!" I disable JavaScript and the popup doesn't show up again.

So I was in place explaining the work I do to some guys then this beautiful girl about 19 year old came down and asked me ""what are your stacks""😲😮... I said JavaScript and Python,and that I use Django, Reactjs, Reactnative, blah blah blah 😔, she said she does too, I was like 😲😳😲...in this country, then instantly I knew she was the one, 💕🥰🥰.. I was about taking her number when I woke up, it was a dream 😢😭😂

Almost 800MB of dependencies just to download the damn npm, sometimes I wonder if some part of the software developement world is going crazy

CORS is shit
Stupid useless shit that protects from nothing. It is harmful mechanism that does nothing but randomly blocks browser from accessing resources - nothing more.

Main idea of CORS is that if server does not send proper header to OPTIONS request, browser will block other requests to that server.

What does stupid cocksuckers that invented CORS, think their retarded shit can protect from?
- If server is malicious, it will send any header required to let you access it.
- If client has malicious intents - he will never use your shit browser to make requests, he will use curl or any ther tool available. Also if server security bases on something as unreliable as http headers it sends to the client - its a shit server, and CORS will not save it.

Can anyone give REAL examples when CORS can really protect from anything?

I hate how React is used almost everywhere nowadays. Especially when single-page applications are used for purposes that don't actually benefit from them.

Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned, but I want websites to work even with client-side JS disabled. At least sites like Amazon don't rely on it, and work just fine. Progressive enhancement is the way to go.

Seems to me that shitty youtube shorts "explaining" basic programming concepts via shitty JavaScript snippets.

Yesterday I've seen dude basically badly explain/demonstrate currying, on such a contrived example that it didn't explain WHY would you ever want to use it, and apparently without being aware that's what it's called, and using like 5 nested/chained ternaries.

Does anyone remember BASIC?

10 PRINT "Hello World!"
20 GOTO 10

I learned it when I had my Commodore 64. Recently I've gotten the itch to dive back in the development world. So I'm refreshing my memory on HTML and CSS (yes I know they're not programming languages) then move on to JavaScript and either React or Angular. Hopefully I will be able to contribute more to discussion on here than just lurk.

A tool widely use and been perceived as a superset of JavaScript does not have a FUCKING language specification, we have no single clue why certain things are done the way they are done. All we FUCKING do is guess.

Fuck typescript

I just bumped into a javascript problem that exceeds the stupidity of previous ones:
Because promises can be retained after they settle, and handlers attached thereafter are pushed on the microtask queue, a promise rejection can't be asserted to be unhandled until the promise in question is GC'd.
Of course this is nuts so engines will conclude that a promise rejection is unhandled if there are no handlers at the moment of rejection.
I hate this language.

If you hate Javascript so much just use Webassembly and write everything in C++.
Your code will probably take 10x longer to debug and write.
But hey, now all your segfaults will be exceptional!

JavaShit is an ambiguous term.
I cannot tell if it is talking about Java or Javascript.

Me every friday night working on another 'great idea for a website'.

I don't know what to think of Vue 3 Composition API anymore. At first I hated it because it's nothing but one big ole rip off of React, and I hate React so much; its hook system is the most disgusting anti-pattern I've ever seen in the entire JS ecosystem. This gave me the incentive to try out Svelte instead, but after doing so, I look back at Vue 3 and noticed that they're kinda similar... why are so many JS devs allergic to classes? You can have much better written code that way. Idk, I'm waiting for vue-class-component and vue-property-decorator to fully migrate. In the mean time, if I'm gonna be forced to write composition based code, I might as well use Svelte.

The DataTables homepage has an example table where some "senior JavaScript developer" has a salary of $433k

Lmao 433k Zimbabwe dollars maybe.

Unironically, Fireship's "React for the Haters in 100 Seconds" is a treat.

Javascript is trash.
PHP is trash.
Java is trash.
Go is trash.
Scala is trash.
Your mum is trash.
Everything is trash.

DevRant summarised in one post.

Everytime I think I understand async await, I get painfully reminded that I don't.

My knowledge about Javascript

Gotta love it when you wake up, with the deadline still ringing in your head, and your Intellisense breaks from one day to another, all because there was an update. Gosh how I love modern WebDevelopment

Anyone ever had JavaScript cause intense misery? I want off of this rollercoaster please.

I dont know how to timeline projects. I tell clients that it will be ready in one month. But the project will be so big that it takes lot of time to actually code it and do all the procedures around it. I m just giving them timeline based on the speed of my mind.

JavaScript never fails to embarrass me

JavaScript guys be like ""I can build all things through JavaScript that strengthens me""

What the shitbiscuit is happening with trying to build a single window, 200 line node project? Who thought it is a good idea to use ShitScript to write desktop applications?

My 60th Day of learning Html and Css,
#Kindly comment on Font colors. And font family🙏

#I now think am capable of handling javascript🙌
#Anyone with Javascript ROADMAP , kindly help🙏

Can we take a moment to recognize how absolutely retarded JS' event system is?
Events aren't objects. No, they're managed by an object, and identified by a string.
To subscribe to an event, you call object.addEventListener(name, callback). Because for some reason we can't just have an event object. Events MUST have an owner.
But to unsubscribe you don't call the function addEventListener returned, you don't use the token it returned either. No, you pass the same function to removeEventListener.
Because we don't use serializable tokens like in PP, and we don't return functions like in FP, no, we use functions as tokens, realising idiomatic DFP.

What the fuck is this even supposed to be

Im back at University and need to code Java for my Semester Grades. My main languages are PHP and JavaScript.

Reading a book right now where it says "Java Developers are happy".

NOPE aint nobody happy about Java. Sad fucking Author of the Book, go fuck youself and retire. Java needs to retire itself, there are more modern languages available.

It's almost 2023. ES6 have been around for 8 YEARS and still testing suite don't support it out of the box. I have to waste my time configuring transpilers. What the fuck are those stupid facebook fucks doing with their time? Fuckheadz

Question: We are planning to transition our old ES5 codebase to modern ES6/ES7 and even typescript.

What would be the build tool you would recommend if we want to start supporting ES6/ES7 and even Typescript?

Webpack, Vite some other?

This is a vanilla Javascript Project with large codebase it's been built using custom build tools like UglifyJS and UglifyCSS and of after lots of begging it finally got the green light to move to a more modern build tool and start supporting a more standard JavaScript Features.

Mainly I want to move to TypeScript but transition would be slow so the build tool would need to support .ts and .js as well, that is traspile both the .ts and .js into one final production build.

What build tool would you recommend for that?

cool kids code in JavaScript

A new JavaScript framework/library released...

JS Devs: 🏃‍♂️🏃‍♂️....🏃‍♂️ (towards)

What's the favourite bakery product of a JavaScript developer?

NaN bread

so

?. <- optional chaining
?? <- nullish coalescing
? <- conditional/ternary operator

dunno why, I can't seem to remember optional chaining off the top of my head.

Your one-line JavaScript arrow functions AREN'T LEGIBLE! You've just memorized their shape. It's OK. But don't lie to yourself. They look super stupid. They aren't for humans.

Guys cover your eyes I'm gonna say two bad words inside a paragraph

Fuck JavaScript and asynchronous programming - I'm not skilled enough for this so I have to insult it periodically until I'm skilled enough to know partially more than now what the fuck I'm doing (therefore the times I use bad words when referring to js and async programming will decrease - or maybe at the increase of knowledge, my usage of bad words will augment. Only time will tell).

I'd like to hear from developers which prefers Angular to React the reason of said preference.
I want to hear that becasue I like React way more than Angular since I find which is easier to learn (making a form with a React hook is easy while it takes days just to get a grip on Angular forms), it usually takes less code to do things, it doesn't force libraries which may not be necessary for your use case and just makes your bundle bigger (for example most things which are done in NgRx can be done just as easily with regular JS promises without the need of an external tool) and I generally prefer functional programming to OOP.
Said that I want to hear the other side, not to argue but because I want to know cases in which Angular may be a better choice than React to become a better rounded dev.

I will use whatever gets the most hate, religiously. You all hate Apple? I will use Apple everything. You hate JavaScript? I will write everything in JavaScript. You hate Safari? I will use Safari as my main browser.

As long as I'm the unique antithesis to your mediocre thesis, we get healthy synthesis, and the world remains balanced.

Typescript is a PIECE OF SHIT that adds 3 problems for every 1 it solves! Messing with so much shit from its linter and builder just so some OOP fools can code JS like *TAB* *TAB* *TAB* again!

react is garbage because javascript is garbage

like trying to draw straight lines but there's no straight edges to work with

fuck hooks , im too salty and stupid to learn this shit

Today on fucked up Javascript stuff: Call stacks whose bottom isn't an entry point or event handler

Looking at vacancies and the JS build tools asked (Babel, Gulp) and then visiting their websites I notice that I don't understand what they are going on about.

"Leverage gulp and the flexibility of JavaScript to automate slow, repetitive workflows and compose them into efficient build pipelines."

What the actual corpo fuck?

The "get started" page expects you already know npm, typescript, and when you look at their pages, well... Where does the circlejerk end and the actual Javascript start?

I've been out of the corporate loop for a few years, seems it's all about build tools these days. I need to get out of this industry pronto.

TL;DR: don’t use Array.forEach use
for … of … instead.

Array.forEach is synchronous, but pass it an async function and the bastard does not await it.

I was so sure that it was sync….

Wasted 2h

Why are JavaScript coders called engineers (ie front end engineers, node engineers) but dotnet and Java are called developers?

When a project switches from another language to Javascript:
Numerically, shit just got real...

JavaScript development turns into more and more of a shitshow over time. Not that it was great at the beginning, but with each passing year it gets worse.

There are now 17 versions of Node.js, 18 versions of React.js, 3 major versions of Vue.js... Each version brings something new and no one is in a rush to update their stuff to be compatible with the latest version of the framework

I contimnue to just hate javascript, especially react. just fucking go die. You can't fix a shit sandwich by wrapping it in fucking typescript. Gah, fucking hate this crap.

everything is going as planned! :)
Learned Rust Lang. i loved it (that doesn't mean i am done learning na? No! never stop)
new language i could do game memory hacking in without worrying about C++ memory leaks or issues. it also compiles to assembly! another of my favorite languages!
(i use rust for game development and other stuff)

i am not leaving C / C++ though that would be harsh!,

i abandoned javascript for react and typescript.
to be honest the developer just made javascript and left us with a [object Object]

finished learning the android java api so im basically set anything i want to make i can just go on my pc, listen to music and write it out in a couple of days.

well phazor what are you going to do now?!
i will code till i am old.
i will leave my mark like a shid that made its skid in the bowl :)

So I recently finished a full stack web development bootcamp and I realized something at the end of it... I suck at and consequently hate Javascript... Any idea on how to change that? Whenever I see a task related to JS my first response is NOPE.