There’s a guy at work I hate so much. He doesn’t know when a problem shouldn’t exist, he never checks to see if there is a better more maintainable and efficient way to solve a problem, lacks attention to detail, has the attention span of a goldfish, writes shitty overly complicated code, fuuuck

If you talked to this guy in person, you’d think he’s a genius who has it all figured out, but he’s just a professional bullshitter

Honey, load my shotgun

Mandatory winter break means mandatory.

Getting PR requests from a team mate during company wide holiday PTO. Asked him wtf he was doing, manager told him he had to work.

NOT the managers call! This is going to HR on the 2nd

Some two years ago I purchased a license for AV solution on Amazon UK which is my default place for shopping.

When attempting to activate the license, I kept getting this annoying error somewhere along the lines of:
'License from another region.'

I contact the support, they did their magic && the license got applied.

Fast forward some two years - the license is about to expire.

The software is actually good, so I make the choice to renew it.

Thing is, I keep getting redirected to the local site w/o an option of choosing the English language.

I edit the site's address to reach an English version of the site.
On UK's site I am unable to choose my country of residence so I can't complete the purchase form.
I try a few other things && finally reach the Global site where I am able to input the correct data for the purchase, but all attempts to finish the payment fail.

Fine... I'll purchase from the local site.

I purchased the license, activated it w/o problems, but when attempting to download the installer it keeps downloading the localized version which doesn't allow me to change the language.

I contact Support.

S: 'The license you've purchased can be used solely w/ localized version of the software. If you want to use the English version, you'll have to get a refund && purchase from our Global site here [link w/o redirection].'

_Fuck_ this trend of automatic redirection to localized sites && forced localized software.

One shouldn't have to go through all these hoops to get the software in the language of their choice, instead of having the localized version shoved down their throat.

Just made this for my new project

Merry Christmas You Filthy Animals

Unpopular opinion: given your server has enough entropy, UUID v4 is a good session token.
It allocates 122 bits for the randomly generated part. OWASP recommends session tokens to contain at least 64 bits of entropy while being at least 16 hexadecimal characters long.

I'm the type of girl that can write a 100-line SQL migration without autocomplete, AI and copying-and-pasting and make it run correctly on the first try.

Disclaimer: This joke will be lost in translation but I can't help but make it

In my country, you can use the phrase "it's not beans" to describe something difficult eg "that ielts exam no be beans". Given my recent woes with spring boot, I can also say "spring webflux no be beans". But it's funny to me because the framework calls objects bound to the container "beans" so it's a nerdy, don't leave me joke

Why is spaces the de-facto over tabs? Tabs seems better in every way including the fact you can make them any width you want...

Where y'all working at today?

so weird not to have my code crash...

before I'd check it every few hours and reboot if it has crashed

but now I check and it's just churning along

the bug was easy to fix once my brain cleared some

Low voltage: I flow in conductors and don't flow in isolators.
High voltage: ᴡ̢͕̲͋̀͝ʜ̺̪͍̲̒͌͝ᴇ̫͕̼̲̓͑́ʀ͍̝͎̲͛̐͝ᴇ̳͉̪̲͑͠ ɪ̟̠̼̲͑͆̚s͓̼͉̲͊͋̐ ᴛ͔̟̲̔͊͘ʜ̠͎̲͛͑̓ᴇ͕̞͖̲̈́̀̕ ғ̡͓̝̲͐͘ᴜ̺͍͉̲̐̈́ᴄ͖̞̺̲̓̕̕ᴋ̢͓̘̲͋̚ɪ̟͚̲͑͒̾͜ɴ̳̺̠̲̓͐͘ɢ̠͎̝̲̈́͊̕ ᴡ͔̦͔̲͆͐͘ɪ̟̪̟̲̽͝͝ʀ̝̪̻̲̈́͊̐ᴇ̺̳̲͊̈́̕͜

Want to give Google a giant "fuck you" to their AI results?

https://arstechnica.com/gadgets/...

I now have a custom google search that Firefox defaults to. It looks like I don't get AI results on first try. YMMV

I think I'm beginning to hate my language and I'm struggling to find the motivation to work on it.

So, I started playing with SonicPi because it uses Ruby which I both hate more and can't fix, and it does something I want to eventually use Orchid for.

A therapist would probably have a field day with my self-motivation techniques.

So I get a message from my ex-colleague today, and it’s déjà vu all over again.

Apparently, the CTO at my old company went full Hulk in the office this morning, demanding to know who used the ops@ email to subscribe to something called "custom purring ASMR." If that sounds familiar, buckle up - this one’s even better.

For context, this is the same company where I once had to explain to the CFO why our tech@ email got invoiced for "panties juice, extra virgin." If you don’t remember… Yeah, I left, but the shenanigans clearly stayed. Here’s a spot-the-difference picture: https://devrant.com/rants/6213132/...

Turns out, one of the devs was testing an API integration for some niche subscription platform. Nothing new there — sandbox environments, dummy accounts, €5 test payments. Except genius over here decides to jazz it up and names the testing account: "Cat Daddy Deluxe, meow to pay." Obviously not meant for production, right?

Fast forward to yesterday (yes, Friday): the platform goes live without clearing the sandbox database. Dev’s test account? Now the default subscription for every new creator. Not only that, but every 1k subscribers it "wins" a discount for the next most popular account. What are the top 5 other popular accounts?

5. "Leather Daddy Lullabies" – soothing bedtime stories narrated by a guy in full BDSM gear.
4. "ASMR For Adult Toys" – exactly what it sounds like, but HR will still ask.
3. "Moaning Meditation Mondays" – very NSFW guided mindfulness exercises... weekly!
2. "Kinksploration 101" – a podcast exploring bizarre fetishes you wish you didn’t know about.
1. And last but not least, "Spicy Grandma Diaries" – erotic stories written and narrated by a sweet old lady from the local senior centre, apparently depicting real-life escapades from her 70s. In great detail.

Here’s the kicker. Friday, ops@ gets two discount emails. The same guy who roasted the “panties” girl the hardest, the very one who caused this mess, is now sure they’ve finally sent him more accounts to test - because clearly, those can’t be meant for production. Right?

Long story short: he spent €118 of real-life company funds, and IT is now on the hook for lifetime memberships to “Purring Dominance 101” and “Whisker Tickler Masterclass.” How satisfying is it to see the universe balance all his not-so-funny comments?

Also, I’m definitely getting them to forward me those whisker-tickler classes. No matter how good you think you are, some areas of life always have room for improvement.

The Copilot logo is ugly as sin and the Copilot key glyph on new computer keyboards gives me cancer.

Man, you start doing computer graphics you really get an appreciation for nature

Like "got dayum, god got some good ass graphics, no way I can compete with that"

I'm not one of those people who can just buy a phone and use it. I have to unlock it, flash it, de-google it and customize it before first use. I don't changes phones often, but my 2019 phone is slowly dying.

Here's my whole new setup with a Sony Xperia 1 V:

https://battlepenguin.com/tech/...

You were bound to miss it, so I immortalized the moment.