This is gonna be depressing. You have been warned.

I am getting sick of people, moreso than I usually would. It's getting to the point where I'm feeling like I want complete isolation from people. Why do people get pissed at me then not tell me what I did wrong? How the fuck am I supposed to fix it?

One of my friends, S, has a lot of issues, and I've been friends with her for many years. I try to help her as much as I can because I actually care, but she rarely responds to any texts and disappears for days at a time. Then she comes back and says I worry too much and plays it off like it was nothing. Wtf?!

I give everyone hugs. If you want a hug, you'll get one from me no questions asked. I do this because I'm actually incredibly depressed and the hugs help me feel less lonely. I'm getting tired of caring so much for everyone else and having nobody actually care about me. S says that I care so much BECAUSE I don't want anyone else to feel that way, but it hurts like hell when I'm the only one who cares.

I don't care what people think about me in a sense that if they have a problem, fuck off. I do, however care that nobody seems to actually CARE. I HATE THIS SHIT. I'm getting to that point where I don't want to die, I just don't want to exist like this. Fuck everything at this point. Nobody ever responds to texts, they get pissed for no reason, just fuck it.

  • 5
    Try some ice cream it works:-)
  • 2
    I feel you, and I implore you, try to avoid going to the level you just stop caring about anything or anyone. You'll just be cranky and angry all the time. You might even blow off some of that anger on those you care about, I don't recommend the feeling you get after it. You can drop some of the frustration in here, try to forget about your problems for a bit, just disconnect any now and then.
  • 6
    Oh, I forgot to mention, the social anxiety shit that I've got on top of my Autistic tendencies don't help any. Fuck my life, man.

    Oh, also, my school district is shit, teaches basic shit, and doesn't give a shit about shit.
  • 1
    @Rekonnect could it be that you don't recognize ppl. care for you because they cannot do it on the same level as you do. Your emotional life works different from everybody else around you when you are autistic. Just a wild guess.

    On that note: 🤗
  • 1
    You are not alone
  • 0
    Do you get such feelings only when you are alone or even when you are extremely busy coding or developing something?
  • 0
    1) http://raptitude.com/2014/07/...

    2) https://markmanson.net/not-giving-a...

    I was and am still am like you. Only difference is I found article no 2 recent years and followed it. While I was googling for the link I also found article no 1. And now I'm gonna read it.
  • 1
    @github Both alone and when with people, I'm usually fine when busy because I allocate more thought to the task at hand, but then it quickly goes back after.
  • 0
    This was me for most of my childhood.
    I totally understand 🙁

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