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I can't imagine how this is but this is what I would do:
Tell him to stop. If he doesn't go to the boss and file an official complaint, official is the keyword there.
If still nothing changes then I would file a complaint with the police or let a good colleague (preferably male) do the same to him, but more obvious and often. Lets see how he feels.
I really can't stand these types of men... -
@Codex404
Thank you for understanding, but that's easier said than done.
I'm a dev and a nerd, so I think I'm safe in saying that I fit with the demographics here in wanting to avoid conflict.
What if it's all in my head? Do I risk being the one guy in the office with a reputation for reporting other dudes for harassment? I can already imagine what would get said behind my back if my report doesn't get taken seriously. -
Just physically react to touch by increasing distance. Like... Avoid his attempts at contact.
I'm also more contactless, since physical contact might make the office work uncomfortable. So that's what I usually do, and people see that, and respond by not trying physical contact with me. I get myself out of a touch, interrupt accidental touches, etc. Not at team events though, because that's different.
If that doesn't work, ask kindly to stop, explaining that you don't feel comfortable with any physical contact. That should work for 99% of people. If not - report the asshole. -
@Michelle no reason to be scared. There are people who just communicate more physically. Both men and women. People have different degrees of touch happy. I haven't yet met a single person who would be creepy like that. The most I've seen was a nerd, though a family man, that made cringy, juvenile sexually offensive jokes. Every girl that interacted with the various people that I've worked with were pretty happy with the job and team, became close friends, etc.
Don't let a few weird cases you hear about let you get deterred from that wonderful world. -
@AndSoWeCode
Okay, thank you. That's comforting to hear. :) -
@awizardskull if something makes you uncomfortable in your workplace then that's not in your head..
If someone is constantly listening to loud music and it doesn't stop after asking then I will go to my boss for that as well, its the task of a boss to make sure the work environment is comfortable to work in.
Besides you are not filing for harrasment yet but tell the guy harassing you to stop because you don't like it. Be clear and confident when you tell him to stop. If he still doesn't get it you are in your full right to go to your boss and complain.
Its a difficult step but this type of behaviour has to stop, its not acceptable
I have a question for the women on here: how do you deal with a hands-y coworker? I realize, especially now, that there will be men who have dealt with this too.
He will touch my hair and arms, will come up behind me and put both hands on my shoulders, and generally seems to go out of his way to get into my personal space. Needless to say i am uncomfortable. He's been out of the office the last couple days, and my relief at not having him around has made me realize how much of a problem this is.
Have you confronted anyone like this in your line of work, or spoken to a manager? Asked to move desks away from the guy in question? What happened?
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