Got this rude ass email from an idiot client who thinks I'm solely responsible for figuring out how to link his 3rd party email/newsletter sign up form to his new website without any access to the account. He "doesn't have the time to research". Newsflash asshat, I'm not responsible for your 3rd party shit. Go contact their support. 🙄😑

I'm having one of those days too 😡😡😡

You're missing the opportunity to offer asshat a new service; "online presence management."

Make it clear that you never offered to manage* / promote / etc his website.

**Support and/or hosting is different from managing.

....however, you could provide him this invaluable service for a "reduced" rate because you having a existing business relationship.

spend a week doing a little SEO, set up his email spam campaign, do Social Media (official FB, twitter, etc accounts with pages that have a nice branded background/header image, filled out profile), company info(office/store address?) in google.

Give him a heap of the (literally) millions of stupid articles on the importance of SEO/social media to read. Scare the shit out of him.

(make him think) He needs this. It's essential damnit! And the fact your there to help him is all the better because he's, "much too busy building his business to get caught up in the little things"

@CodingPrincess, just spread on the $EO buzzword bullshit. Arrange for a lump sum for the initial "audit" (yeh gotsta make it sounds real official like).

Then get him on "retainer" or some shit. Have him pay you consistently to copy/pasta the newsletters he/his people write into an html email template. Setup google analytics and create "custom reports site/social media traffic". Amaze him with some animated graphs.

Best thing; you're not lying. Even the few things I listen can have a big effect and If he doesn't have someone tasked with handling PR, they're likely in (a little) over their heads. It's easy (albeit unexciting) work. easy money.

@rozzzly Thats the hella of a business !! Suit up, Loot up

@rozzzly you sir. you right there. I need to stalk you and learn your ways.

@rozzzly and @deadpool88 are quickly becoming my favorite ranters! Don't forget to charge for the PITA fee. ;)

I had a client pay me the initial deposit for building his site. He gave off this "I'm doing you a favor by hiring you" vibe. I don't fucking play that shit.

Anyway, 1 day into the project I asked for access to his existing hosting account so I could set up the domain and hosting. His response was, "That's what I'm paying you for. To handle little fucking shit like that because I don't have time to do it."

I told him to go fuck himself, hung up the phone, and swiftly went to his business. I ripped up the check and told him better luck somewhere else, and if you're going to cuss me out, at least try not to be completely stupid before you insult someone. Bye!

@rozzzly Wow slow down there business Satan .

@lquessenberry Definetely that client would cost you more money and time that expected. Maybe he wouldnt even pay the job. Everyone should avoid these clients if possible.

@skonteam Tell us your opinion please.

This isn't freelance or small business, this is a corporate level business I work for. I have absolutely no control over any of the things all of you listed unfortunately. I too wish that we could turn away clients like this but not my call. I am doing project management and development on these sites so it's frustrating and a waste of my time to be taking this kind of crap from idiots when I should be coding. I just don't get how stupid some people are to think I can magically know how to implement their 3rd party shit and that just because I'm making their new site makes me responsible for figuring it out. I have 19 other sites in my queue. 😡

@CodingPrincess Start a policy of insisting on requirements before project start. Put the ball clearly in their court and save this messing about.

Granted, I'm still striving for this utopia!