277
qaniel
6y

Church proyect...

Client: we want our logo in our new website

Me: ok no problem just give me the....

Client: but we dont want ppl to be able to download it.

Me: excuse me but that is not posible cuz...

Client: where is your faith! Nothing is imposible.

Me: proceed to stare in disbelief....

Comments
  • 45
    Have this:

    location ^/path/to/image.file {
    return 404;
    }

    in the sites .conf (or whatever you do in the reverse proxy you use). Then when they ask where the logo is tell them you just made it so that they couldn't download it 😂😂
  • 15
    Like ma’am, let’s say completely disable right clicks and do some mess to obfuscate the image path. There is still screen capture software...it’s preinstalled in every windows and Mac... what’s anybody gonna do with your logo anyway?!
  • 29
    @kenogo You, in fact, have to download the image to even be able to see it in the first place.
  • 12
    Make it an SVG object, they can't "download" that.
  • 36
    Better solution:

    Just TELL them that you made it impossible to download and then berate their lack of faith when they don't believe you.
  • 6
    @Alice

    Did you put your name in realise on purpose :?
  • 5
    Draw logo directly on gpu 😄
  • 4
    @Alice
    You get an updoot for that.
  • 34
    To completely prevent downloading the logo, you'd need to go further.

    Install a "benevolent" countermeasure upon page load that examines their machine to determine if it's requested by an actual user or a bot prior to rendering the logo via either canvas or OS hooks. Afterwards, it would watch for any suspicious processes and monitor the clipboard and filesystem for anything that contains a representation of the logo.

    Just to be safe, it would also need to monitor the webcam and microphone to detect any attempts to use a physical camera, colored pencils, pens, markers, paint, papier-mache, song and dance, CRT burn-in, etc. to recreate the logo. It would also need to access all other devices on the network to see if they were recording the screen via a second webcam/etc., and properly destroy their sinful copies of the holy logo.

    To thwart more advanced attempts, it would also need to monitor the kernel and/or system bus to see where the data was accessed from and where it migrates to. If it's anywhere but CPU/RAM and the graphics card, that device would need to be cleansed. Special care would need to be taken to detect leaks via Intel's Management Engine (etc.) as all code executed therein lies outside the purview of the OS/kernel, and that hardware backdoor may likewise covertly access the network hardware to send the logo to an unsecured system where it may be duplicated against the church's will.

    However, the logo has likely already been leaked/duplicated prior to their request, which means this method of containment must be spread to every device in the world to ensure the offending duplicates are found and destroyed.

    Doing this will require a fleet of mobile, autonomous devices capable of seeking out all electronics, including those not connected nor powered, and interfacing with them to scour and cleanse, and install the countermeasure for further coverage and protection.

    So, what they're asking is absolutely possible.
    It just requires building Skynet.
  • 12
    @Root i feel like it would be more efficient to monitor user requests on the page.. then go to their house and smash their computer in with a hammer.
  • 8
    ...just set it as a css background-image. Should do the Trick for 99% of the Users.
  • 2
    Don't ye know? Blessed is he that readeth, thee shalt look at Matthew 7:7.
  • 0
    Thus were borne the websites where you can't right click anything. Copy of text is also prohibited. Most of which can be bypassed by a simple Google search. But purpose of those "functionalities" is only to convince clients long enough till the payment happens.
  • 1
    It's actually doable with a canvas, but you can't do anything about screenshots of course.
    At least users won't be able to download in the full, original quality?...
  • 0
    @MagicSowap what the hell are they gonna do with it any way?
  • 0
    You can just put it up. Then tell them they should have faith in humanity that they will not download it. Or misty likely as in my case really don't care...
  • 0
    @hugh-mungus this is a community. Not a place to hate on each other.
  • 0
    @hugh-mungus @Alice never said anything hateful towards you. Quote me literally anything she said that would qualify as hate.
  • 1
    Sending thoughts and prayers.
  • 1
    @MagicSowap most logos can be made a vector image. So if you take a screenshot, crop the logo, open it in Illustrator and convert it to a vector, you get logo of any resolution
  • 0
    Church people.

    Lol.
  • 0
    Also why didn’t op just tell them to pray their logo didn’t get stolen? (Not that you can really steal a logo but I guess some design elements idk)
  • 0
    You should implement time machine to prevent users' thoughts about downloading logo. Every time user tries downloading it, you will activate time machine to send your user back to previous action like 'open image'. That way, you will trick user's brain and he will think that browser malfunctions on this special occasion. It's as simple as that.
  • 0
    Nothing is impossible to create. But it's impossible to stop people from abusing what you created.
  • 0
    wget -o urLogo.png ~/Pictures/stolen
  • 2
    Split the logo into mosaic pieces and put each in its own image file. Then just use css to overlay them all to display the complete logo again
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