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zemaitis
6y

How to deal with situations when in work people are overstepping personal boundaries too much?

My situation is that 2 months ago I started working in a very small startup and it currently consist of 3 ceos(main ceo, marketing ceo, product manager) and 3 employees (backend, android and ios).

What I currently dread is tea breaks. There is one at monday before work which lasts for 1 hour. And there is another one at Friday after lunch which lasts 1 hour again. I hate these Friday talks about "what are your plans for the weekend" which then triggers a circlejerk of ppl trying to impress each other about what they are going to do on their weekends. Same happens on mondays they circlejerk about how their weekend was amazing.

My situation is that I came to this country just to get skills and make shit ton of money when Im at it. Besides my fulltime work, I also am freelancing part time in my previous gig and also Im managing 2 other hobbie projects. I like to keep myself occupied during weekends so they usually consist of shopping/pc repairs/gym/working on my hobbie projects.

So basically when I tell them what I've done over the weekend the ceo's don't seem to be impressed so they start suggesting me to do something else. I completely loose any motivation of sharing my personal life when they start telling me what to do with my life.

I don't feel like exploring the city or meeting new people since maximum Im going to stay in this country is 6-9 more months. Then I'm probably going back to my own country.

Anyways even overall, I started dreading this companies culture. The politeness is so fake. For example there is an employee which has worked 3 years for them and the ceos haven't even increased his salary. I joined 2 months ago and I get paid more than him! They dont value loyalty at all since immigrants can be replaced easily. Another example: 2 weeks ago it was my birthday and no one from ceos even shook my hand, for them it was normal to just say happy bd during a standup.

So fking weird. I feel like I'm seeing redflags every day and not sure how long more I can stay here.

question

rant

fkin small companies
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Comments
  • 3
    6y
    A lot of this just seems like conflicting personalities to me.
    As far as them suggesting alternatives to your plans, I would say to just tell them that it's your preference to do these things, rather than exploring, you just have different interests.

    For the birthday thing, I have no expectation of people in my workplace recognizing that it's my birthday at all. Even a little bit is a surprise to me, however, I know that my company does happen to make a company wide announcement of any birthdays/service anniversaries.

    Ultimately, I think this might just be a clashing of personalities and possibly cultures depending on where you're from. For example, talking about your job: Small talk in the United States, and rude in places like France.

    Maybe, just give them a break and mark it up to misunderstanding rather than malice. Or even talk with them about it bothering you.
  • 3
    6y
    I know the birthday of three people. None of them is my coworker. It's a cultural difference.
  • 2
    6y
    To be honest I don't think asking how was your weekend is steeping into personal boundary. Maybe its a cultural thing. Here in the US we ask it all the time and people like to talk about their weekends.
  • 2
    6y
    I saw 3 CEOs and I think you either don't know what is a CEO or they don't know what is a CEO
  • 1
    6y
    At my place its totally normal to talk about our weekends and private life. However, I have a very friendly relationship to all of my colleagues.
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