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@aureliagbrl
I don't know how old you are nor where you are living (or whether there are some cultural, religious backgrounds).
As I understand this it's just about spending time with the family.
Ofc it is family! But these beings are just humans as well... JUST humans. This is no offense or something like that - it's another way to think, feel, see.
There may be some dependencies (e. g. financial) but in the end it's your life, your decision.
If you want to college - do it.
If it's hard to have a weekly meeting with your family - well... don't go.
I don't want to insult someone but I think people who can't accept that are stupid. People who don't know how to deal with other humans...
Of course it's a give and take - both sides are responsible. But as it is described here - you're giving too much.
Hm... don't quit. That's all. :3 -
@aureliagbrl that’s quite a restriction but you shouldn’t be quitting college just for that. Burnt out could be hard, try to convince your parent more, what would they think if you said you’re quitting college because of them?
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@devTea don't quit :(
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@wowotek then say that you’re tired because you have a saturday class. As for exam, they will probably say that she can do it on home. Try to argue a bit maybe? Just remember to be polite, don’t be rude or anything. I hope they understand
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@devTea that is the exact problem, her family just don't care. mark.
i just don't understand anymore how can be a parent overcome college with gather around. and so stubborn about that. doesn't make sense to me. -
@wowotek I would just speak and force a better solution with them, but this will probably ended up on bad ways, depending on how your family situation is. Tru ignore them from friday to sunday maybe? And just say that you’re tired?
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@devTea let's hope she see this
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@FrodoSwaggins even if this is not business, she is my everything, at least i can do small thing. dude, depression is not something trivial or mundane.
it's not about her family, i just want her to cheer up again. we all have been burnt out. and we don't want that again, that exactly why i shared this. -
@aureliagbrl Hi, I think a way you can make your family understand the situation is to talk to a professor/counselor from your school to call your parents and explain how hard things get to them, and how it's affecting your academics, I think this way won't be disrespectful. And pleeeaasssee don't make bad decisions like quitting college because of this. You'd definitely get over it.
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@leksyib thank you
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@Irithyll @RantSomeWhere @devTea @ganjaman @FrodoSwaggins thanks for your opinion and support for me π God Bless you all and Happy Sunday π
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@leksyib thankyouuu π
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@aureliagbrl @wowotek You're welcome!
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@wateringdisease
1. It's her cheerful picture picture, don't you want her to cheerful again? ;) she allowed it tho i post her a couple of times.
2. That's the point. for me, i am experienced with professional work. that's why i want to point out to her; burn out are not good even in professional world. life always a progress and i don't want it to stuck to a simple thing. -
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Hey,
The travel part isn't much given that most of us travel that much everyday.
The weird part is why don't they let her study at home. Based on my observation of my hosteler friends, they all go home "to study" because they find it better at home, as they don't have to do their own chores etc.
This is a totally opposite case.
It appears as if your family doesn't care. I've seen these cases here as well. Why do they need you to be in their face 24x7. Weekend is a crucial self study time. They are just not giving any damn about it !
Most parents force and scold their kids to study! Here you are wanting to study willingly and they are being obstructions.
Its a difficult situation to handle.I get it. try explaining how important it is for you. I bet you have done this but keep trying.And if they still don't get it. Just take it as a challenge.Work double time, it won't be like this forever, don't let them be a hurdle. Just work super hard and get out of this situation.All the best! -
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@deodexed thankyouuu π
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@ceee astagaaa banyak betz. thankyouuuππππ
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@aureliagbrl i believe she is can't speak indonesian -_-
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@aureliagbrl @wowotek you're welcome guys !
Yep I don't understand Indonesian but I can google translate a little. The image shows the result I got. I don't think it's correct π€£. -
@ceee "omg that is a really long line, thank you!!"
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@wowotek haha thanks for the translation. It actually is 100% of allowed characters in a comment.
π¬ -
Comments: tl;dr
@aureliagbrl
I only go home for very special occasions like my birthday and christmas... Also, I study in another country and 12 hours of travelling is just a pain in the ass(literally... try sitting in one spot for 12 hours...) but my mom expected me to come home every weekend, and well... I just said NO; Do not be afraid, you are an adult, just say NO, you have every right to do so, it is your life! Study comes first, family gatherings n-th.
Edit: actually my birthday and christmas are the only special occasions :D -
Gee, that's one pain in the ass kind of family right there. I live 3 hrs away from my home, but thankfully my family understands that I can't go home every weekend because it's tiring as hell, and they know I get sick very easily. Would her family still force her to go home even if she says she has some things to do (like group assignments, or smth) on sunday? Or maybe lie and say you're sick or something else. Or just don't go home and don't listen to them, since they don't listen to her anyways ¯\_(γ)_/¯
Related Rants
Thanks Google. That's exactly what I need right now.
May i ask for help dear fellow devRanters?
@aureliagbrl suffered a deep depression and pressure from her family, the cause is exceptionally simple yet very crucial; so here's the story :
Every week, in friday after the last class she have to go home to fulfill her family wish to gather around and will come back to her dorm in Sunday. her home is more than 1.5 hour from University. recently one class in Wednesday moved out to Saturday Noon for some reason this cause her to go home in Saturday afternoon, yet her family doesn't care if it means she have to wake up 3am in Monday, to get back alone to catch up with class. her family just want to gather around longer, that's it, no exception. According to her this is so frustrating and exhausting. so the condition now is Tomorrow Morning (Monday) there will be a Live Coding Exam. she isn't prepared, her only wish was to get back on Sunday instead of Monday to Study. her family discard her wish entirely. this make her so deeply depressed and i can't even talk to her, she starting to mumbling about quitting college, and etc, etc.
We all know how bad it is to burnt out right ? and we want our fellow developers get out from it and a good shape. My wish is simple from you guys, i wish you can mention her in comment and cheer her up.
Thank You
here is her cheerful photo.
rant
depression