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Hey. Can I borrow your ears for 5 minutes?

Since I've been out of school, I've often felt that even though I've learned how to code, the education went into a totally direction than the one I want to go. Of course a school can't teach you everything perfectly, but having almost no experience in frontend (mind you we learned the BAREST basics) just makes me feel entirely empty in that regard stepping up to a company. I've been pretty loaded during school, since I was struggling with a lot of things so I couldn't really find myself pursueing the direction of coding frontend apps being fun. I needed the little time I had to blow off steam playing games etc.

So the few things I know are all self taught, but I was never given a hand been shown best practices or solid advice where to look. Sitting down now at my pc trying to learn ReactJS for example feels incredibly draining and difficult, since we've never done JS in school ONCE. All the C# experience barely helps, since with ES6 being rolled out parallel to "normal" JS it's even harder to me to connect the lego blocks that is frontend development. Since many best practices are applied to ES6, I can barely even tell what previous practice they are replacing, making the entire picture even more spongy. In one sentence it's very overwhelming.

I've thought I'd apply maybe as a UX/UI Designer since I've got a great visual sense (confirmed countlessly by many, friends and strangers alike) maybe contributing to the frontend part that way. But as I was applying I've noticed that chances are seemingly pretty low to get accepted since it seems you've got zero reputition if you don't have a degree in Design.

It breaks me apart. I could probably apply as a frontend developer, but I am not sure if I would be happy doing that on the long run. Since just fucking around in Photoshop creating things seems like no effort and brings me joy, as compared to coding out lines for example.

I wanted to make money after school, improve on myself and my quality of life since I've drained that entirely for the sake of my education. Not spiral into another couple years just to eventually maybe get in the direction I want to.

On the flipside going into frontend dev with 0 skills, 0 experience, but being expected to have 2 years of hands on experience with the newest frameworks makes me feel empty and worthless.

I often hand out advice to other people on devRant, but this is the one time where I need some. Desperately. I feel shattered inside, getting out of bed in the morning has no incentive to me since I'll just feel like shit all day, watching YouTube to cheer me up temporarily, only to feel immense remorse not spending the day learning or improving on myself. Barely anything brings me joy. I don't wanna call myself depressive, but maybe I am just dodging the term and I am exactly that.

Thanks If you've read through this monstrosity of a rant/story. I'd be glad if you'd be so kind to give me a different take on my situation or a new perspective.

I am stepping on the spot and I am slowly dying inside because of it.

It dreads me to say it, but I need help.

Comments
  • 1
    Tagging @alice since you're the closest I can think of to this situation. I hope I am not bothering you.
  • 1
    Alice Is gone? Oh well 😔
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    My two cents would be your field of interest and the field you are most qualified for in terms of experience are pretty related. If you have better odds getting a job related to your education/experience, it might not be your dream job but it will be a stepping stone that can get you that much closer to what you want to do. There may even be opportunities to apply your passion in your non-preferred job.

    I would encourage you to apply to the job you want. Not applying guarantees you won't get it. In the meantime, apply to others that you have a higher chance of landing, too. Then, work up from there.

    Many people in the restaurant industry that are passionate about cooking food start out as dishwashers, for example.
  • 2
    Also, build up your portfolio of design as much as you can in your free time. You say family and friends have commended you for the eye you have for design. If you bring a sweet portfolio to a design job interview, if they are smart they may see potential and overlook the lack of official degree or professional experience in the field.
  • 2
    Last comment, for now. A previous colleague of mine got her degree in accounting. After she got the degree, she realized that wasn't her thing and made her self noticed in the programming world. She's had a rewarding and lucrative career as a software engineer ever since. She made it happen.
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    I want to commend @devTea for being one of the nicest souls on devRant. Even when you don't speak a word I can feel the warmth by your engagement in upvotes. Thank you.
  • 0
    Don't worry about what they ask for. Companies don't ask for people with no experience, but often hire them.

    That being said, getting your foot in the door of a company as a developer might eventually get you a design job, so it could be worth the aggravation.
  • 0
    First off, as a developer you should always be learning, so don't worry about lack of knowledge.

    Try to build some basic stuff with JavaScript (or even jQuery) before jumping to a big framework

    It makes learning the framework easier
    And eventually you'll switch to another framework, and having some 'native' JavaScript knowledge will help you out big time

    Also don't worry too much about lack of knowledge / experience, that's what junior means
    Of course you should go all in and show you're eager to learn. But you can't start at a job and already know everything, that would be boring and you should seek another job or ask for other projects/tasks

    (e.g. do you notice that that little thing that takes a lot of time could be automated? Ask to do so, it will keep you happy because you're learning again and it makes the company happen because you're saving them time, and time is money)
  • 0
    No, those are mine
  • 0
    Now, I'm not experienced at all, nor have I had a job yet, but I relate to you on the emotional/mental health level. As someone who's been dealing with depression as well as other stuff for over a decade, I can say that I agree and do think that you might be dealing with some depression. I do believe that it's not nearly as bad as it could get, and I'm happy that you're proactive about nipping it in the bud. Asking for help is the most difficult part.

    I hope that you'll be taking these people's advice and dare to apply despite it seeming like you don't have the merits. As I understand a lot of companies set the bar high to weed out those who definitely would not fill the role well. That of course makes it rougher for some people, but hey, the worst thing you'll get is a "no".
  • 0
    Do try to spend some of your free time to learn things and build a portfolio, those are the things that I keep seeing more experienced people share all the time regardless of profession.

    Now, I only know some very basic vanilla JS, but I started learning the basics through places like Codecademy, W3Schools, and various other sources, as well as doing any and all simple practice exercises I could find (I think W3 has a list of some on one of their sites, I just found it while searching for beginner exercises). I think that that might be a good starting point just to learn the very, very basics. Codecademy does have a small course on basic jQuery as well. :)
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