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forkbomber
9y

Manager: Tell me what you are looking for in your job, I know this from your coworkers, but not you.
Me: I honestly don't know anymore. After all this time my motivation is gone and I don't know where I'm going.
Manager: If you could go back to school knowing all you know now, what would you do?
Me:...
Me: I don't know.
Manager: maybe try to think about that.

He doesn't realize I've been thinking about this for years.
I stopped caring at some point and just act.
I didn't tell him I was looking for a new job because any energy I had left is being consumed by this company.

undefined

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  • 7
    9y
    a new job keeps me motivated for 2 months or so, after that, i'm back trying to avoid being seen by superiors while working on personal projects from ssh, or just reading technical articles. i don't think i have enough skill or network to go freelancing either, but i would love a life where i code for myself (and maybe sell a project afterwards), and attend masters classes.

    this isn't about being a dev though. it's a regular existential crisis, beginning to hit at a certain age.
  • 5
    9y
    @cors are you me? I suffer the exact same problem, and have the exact same dream of where I'd like to be. Maybe I'm still just young and naive, and the system hasn't broken me completely yet.
  • 2
    9y
    @alyx nice to hear this from someone else. we're not alone :)
  • 0
    9y
    Maybe think about the questions. Figure out what makes you really happy. Take small steps at first to make it a reality. That will give you momentum. Happiness is a state of mind. Try to find it. It is worth it.
    Tell us more if you want to.
  • 1
    9y
    @Jumpshot44 that's just it, why would people assume I have not thought about these questions?
    I don't find the answers, I more or less try to live for other people and just continue my job as long as possible.
    Then again, I support applications on 500+ servers, I don't make them, I'm not a developer, I just make sure things keep working.
  • 0
    9y
    @cors @alyx you guys are not alone. plus @cors I have Masters in Comp App and I still struggle to ball up and start my own gig.
    PS. am also guilty of browsing tech articles for hours.
  • 0
    9y
    @forkbomber sounds like you might want to be a developer, or at least that's something you could try and then you might have an answer.
  • 0
    9y
    @aoberoi I'm currently trying to go for a job as a Splunk Consultant, that is something new.
    Actually developing might be tough since I never learned any programming language.
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