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I think i understand your point. I experienced part of this.
For one，i realized i used to be over confident and ignorant. I didnt care what people thought and thank god because i really acted like an idiot.
Second，reflecting on oneself is part of maturity but you should be carefull not to fall into the spiral of questionning everything. Some thruths are there and will very likely remain unchange. Other not. Find those.
Third， only few go through life with enough luck， brains and personal strength to feel confident and ot fall into an asshole or depressed phase in life. Most of us go through phases in life and they are usually full of lessons.
Four， watch a bit of dr. Phil on youtube and feel better aboit yourself. -
Hey, those are some good thoughts!!
Even though I'm a programmer my formal training is in counseling and I wish A LOT more people would have reflective thoughts like you.
I recently watched a TED talk about emotional first aid and I highly recommend it. Thinking like this is just a start, there's always so much room to grow!
(https://ted.com/talks/...)
Reading other peoples code... (from r/ProgrammerHumor)
My phone is absolutely fucked
Do you ever think that growing up has taken away a lot of your confidence and ability to react?
I, for one think that my 5 years before self was a lot more confident and quick towards action than now. I never used to think of consequences, people's laughs, judgments or criticisms, and would do whatever I want to do or say whatever I felt.
And now I can't even give a presentation before thinking of those laughing/ judging faces that would come up if i messed up.
It was all a gradual slowing down of excitements i think. in smaller classes, we were all wild and energized, playing football and cricket all day, sweating like a mule. then came middle school where we grew a little self-conscious about our hairstyle , clothes, etc. then consciousness started taking a huge hit when puberty and fatness took over...
And since then self consciousness has taken all over the kingdom while confidence is captivated in some prison somewhere, deteriorating day by day
random
:(