Easy. Be the PM.

Alright

How to get stakeholders to leave you alone?

You can't.

They pay your bills.

But you can - and should - let them know when they waste money by overallocating ressources like your time.

More meetings = less shit done

Sure... take the easy way out.... join the dark side

Boooooooo

It's a hard task, but I made it a hard requirement for every job that I take.

And working has become less stressful... Especially since I don't need to transform into a psychopath to prevent dumb things from happening that were decided without consulting me first.

And that... Means less cleaning, too. ;)