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Long time lurker, first time poster. This site has been a huge source of fun and laughs for me on bad days.

So dear fellas,

I've been a software engineer for about 5 to 6 years which was intense as fuck and I've been burnt out multiple times. My highest rank was a senior software engineer so far.

I was offered a new job recently as a Technical lead for a small team which would mean I have to make architecural decisions on top of good ol grunting out the code. I took up the offer but I'm more worried than happy.

Impostor syndrome has kicked in heavily ever since I agreed to the job. What if they realise I don't know certain things that engineers are supposed to know? What if I get in an embarassing situation where somebody asks me a question and I'm not able to answer? What if people who I work with laugh behind my back cos I'm not a rockstar engineer?

I'm depressed and scared as fuck right now. Usually I had someone senior to ask my questions or get my doubts cleared with, now it looks like I'll be making those decisions and getting things done and I'm shitscared and worried as fuck.

Does anyone have any pointers, tips or anecdotal advice that might help me? It would be much appreciated.

Sorry for the incoherent rant. Have a good one y'all

Comments
  • 6
    > When someone asks you a question and you are not able to answer?
    It's okay for everyone to forget things or just don't know them in the first place.
    > What if they laugh behind my back?
    I'm pretty sure they don't even think about doing so.
  • 4
    If they hired you to a position that you have not held before they most likely do not expect you to already know everything it encompasses but expect you to be able to learn.

    And after a few years you most often have experiences to look at, previous solutions.

    Also, do you know anything of your future colleagues, they might just be fresh out if school, in which case you will be the experienced one.

    I felt a bit of it to, switching jobs a few months back, just to find out that just the fact that I come from another kind of company with a different philosophy has been a good platform to spot things that can be improved.

    So do your best, unless you lied during interviews you should be OK.
  • 2
    @kescherRant Well that's comforting :)
  • 1
    @Voxera I have no idea the kind of people I'd work with but I'm expecting people who have already had a few years of experience.

    I just don't want to be mistaken for an expert on everything I've worked on in my career is all.
  • 0
    @dangernoodle19 I do not think you should worry to much.

    If they need an expert for they position I expect they have done enough research of the candidates to pick one they believe are up to the task.

    And very often good people rise to the challenge.

    The fact that you worry means that you at least have the right attitude, that you feel its your duty to deliver, that almost always more important than actual experience, especially in a fast moving business like development.

    And you most likely know more than you give your self credit for :)

    As long as you does not grow complacent, its more of their responsibility to not expect the impossible.
  • 0
    I highly recommend a behavioral psychologist. My therapist has helped me out with some of the mental warfare I like to spring up on myself. For me it’s anxiety. I think coding encourages overthinking for me. For instance, while working I’m coming up with all the scenarios my code has to handle then in social situations I’m coming up with situations that I might have to handle. I’m learning that expressing my fears should be fine and seeking clarification from passive aggressive comments is fine as well. Right now I’m trying to lean more into my anxiety. I have to constantly reevaluate which of my thoughts are facts and which are fears. It seems like you’re trying and I don’t think you’re an imposter. You got this 👍.
  • 2
    From my experience (~10 years or so as tech lead or higher).

    1. It's absolutely OK to not know everything, all the time.
    2. If there are difficult questions; answer to the best of your knowledge and then table it until you get more information.
    3. DO NOT TALK OUT OF YOUR ASS.
    4. There will be times that you will know everything about a topic, do not let this prevent you from listening to someone else's opinions.

    Good luck and don't worry too much about it. You got this.
  • 0
    One of the things that helped me was asking my parents about first time parenting.
    It seemed the more relevant question at that time in life, but since has become a more encompassing explanation.

    After years of being dependent on their parents, and occasionally making decisions, and fucking up, or nailing it, life brought them a little living thing that they were solely responsible for as leads.
    They fucked up at times, they knocked it out of the park most of the time. They were initially always asking their parents the best way to deal with a situation, but over time, they got the hang of it, and even learned to improvise brilliantly when needed.
    Today they're the best parents I know, albeit a bit annoying at times.

    There are great parents, there are fucked up parents. It's your choices along the way that define who you become.
    Don't be afraid to ask when you don't know, and look forward to learning because your team is your baby. I'm sure you'll come out shining.
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