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I feel so lost all the time Everytime I think about the future. How are you all going forward?
- What should i be doing ? I used to like computer science when it was taught with lots of simplification and abstraction (in the school level). Now i know there are a 100+ research areas/work areas/branches in it, and i am an average in all of them.
I like most of them more or less, and won't mind giving away my years of life working/learning them. But for what and why?
-- Money? Every profile turns into a decent salary after a certain time. This means i can ride any boat i want.
-- Passion/interest? Now what exactly is this?as i said everything feels doable, given enough time to get a hang of it.
-- Fame? Its rare the developes, testers or other individuals in computer science ever gets a solo credit. Most of the time its either the ceos, the researchers or the company itself. So i guess getting a fame is equal to burning your neighbors by flaunting your cash for most ppl
-- Happy life? Meh, this point is affected by a lot of other factors. Would come back to this point later
- everyday in my feed, there are people showing 6, 7 sometimes even 8 figure salaries. Other people would get inspired with those, but i feel very weird about these.
I never see myself earning those, idk why. Why would someone give me those huge amounts?
How do you find yourself deserving for ythat big ass money? At what point you hit that realisation? Here is a small story :
I did an Android dev course around 2.5 years ago. There was a guy there an year older than me. He was very bad in this, i tell you. Most of the time, i was explaining the concepts to him after class.so last year he graduated, and took a job, We both used to expect a decent salary amount, say x (with me having a little ego that i expect certainly more than him, say x+20% ), but he took a job for half that number , say x/2.
After 1 increment and 1 job shift in 1.5 years, he has now successfully achieved package greater than x. I on the other hand, being still at college and with a lot of bad internship experiences now feel that i won't be getting even x/3 at my start no matter what.
- There is also this thing about people going into more of a management and other non tech roles once they start growing in this field. Why? What did they realized? I am sure not everyone of them would have hit this realization that tech is not what they want to do (which i can't understand why). Maybe its the money and/or happy life expectations?
i have started to feel dumb for not being able to think innovative new ideas and being an average mind :/
And about the happy life, so far its not much happiness for me, and am confused.
I am grateful about the usual things i have (healthy middle class parents, working body, roof , food,etc) , unhappy about the things i don't and see with others (more money, materialistic assets, confidence, siblings, social life, love life, etc) and that's it.
From what i understood of 21 years on this earth is that everyone is running to achieve that list of their desires and wants to move them from todo to done, like trello task. If you can't then keep fighting to achieve or grudgingly accept the fact that you couldn't and be happy about it.
So is that it? That's your happy life goals?
rant
so confused