I think i just realised...I'm the developer version of Gordon Ramsey oh dear...

Oh god, if you were my senior dev or superior I would die because I have anxiety. And having someone say "wtf is that method doing recursively fucking itself?" Or " your codes so messy I want to throw it on a plate with marinara sauce!"

This is a great place to share stories of the Dev Nightmares you encounter

If it makes you feel better I've been called the Bernard Black of developers before...

You're not the only one. One of my lecturers named Dave Cohen is exactly like that.