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@electrineer that much is true, but there's more to it than that. Without going into my whole childhood (not really appropriate for a public forum I guess), I haven't been at my parents' home for more than just weekends since age 9. I've been raised in institutions instead. My "parents" were mentors. My mother often said to me that if she could discard me before I turned 18, she would.
At age 19 I became homeless, and that happened again a year or so later. That's a moment I'll never forget or forgive her for, that evening as I stood on a bridge contemplating whether I should commit suicide, I called my mother and begged her to let me stay for the night. Despite having been homeless herself (so she knows what it's like, and it's worse than jail if you ask me) she told me to "just deal with it". Something snapped that night, but eventually I did indeed deal with it. But I never looked at my mother the same way again.
Preferential treatment in its worst form is what it was. -
@Condor that's just horrible.
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@Lexter We are all special as snowflakes. The kind of person who feels the need to make this comment on a rant like this, doubly so.
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@Lexter I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have written this atrocity of a rant. I'm a horrible person for ruining your day like this. Perhaps I should've jumped off that bridge after all to prevent this horrible thing from having been in front of your eyes.
I guess that devs like ourselves should just be robots without any life stories of our own.
/s -
@Condor I’m glad you’re still with us. Don’t let people who feel the need to hurt others in order to feel better about themselves get you down. ❤️
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@Lexter talking about being arrogant...
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@Lexter Your sister sucks chefs?
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@Lexter well the alternative of telling people to be like my sister and dating someone twice your own age.. or hell, even accepting that your own sister made all the wrong choices, wouldn't that be disingenuous in itself?
I'd rather be real about it than to cushion stuff as to not hurt people's feelings. If your sister actually sucks off chefs for a living, would you call that self-sufficient? Would you call that a smart life choice? It gets her through her life, but at what cost? Her own dignity?
I don't want my sister to be like that and I and other family members condemn her life choices.
And not being like that is not something I'd consider exceptional (you know.. it's.. normal), but it is something one should strive to be. Self-sufficiency, being able to take care of yourself before you think about taking care of others (partner, pets etc). I consider that just the norm, while sucking off cooks or fucking someone twice your own age shouldn't be. -
@Condor thanks for sharing your story. FWIW, i think you're a great and you should be proud of yourself.
My sister is the one who got all the support, despite her now working as a cleaning lady, having 2 kids of her own, having already married and divorced, having been in financial trouble several times, oh and she's only 22 years old. She couldn't finish high school and even getting a driver's license wasn't without hoops. Now she's dating someone as old as our mother.
I've been putting my career front and center in everything. I want to make my own business and sell a network-oriented Linux distribution through it. My mother was impressed when her colleague whipped up a basic website for their company. You can imagine the surprise when I told her that that's only one component of my infrastructure. My family and I still aren't on very good terms, but yeah.. going from "don't stare at those "screens" all day long" to "wow, you've actually done something with these screens" (to her all technology is a screen) is at least some progress I guess.
No support whatsoever though, neither in my endeavors in programming, server administration and whatnot (but hey what can I expect) but what annoys me the most is that my sister did get all the help in the world for maintaining her general household. I didn't get any of that, first night when I moved into my apartment I slept on the floor because my bed wasn't completely built yet. Now that all of that is done, I don't consider my mother very welcome in my apartment actually...
Oh well, we've gotten where we are somehow at least. Just reading, reading and reading more manuals. That's all you need really.
rant
wk227