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Not really a conspiracy, they're designed for the significantly athletic. They're a megadose of stimulants, vitamins and minerals, and in some formulations sugars to provide a spike of energy.
The problem is they've been marketed to every nerd who would fall over dead on a 10 mile bike ride. The result is predictable. -
@SortOfTested Improve your gaming experience by giving your sub-30 year old heart abnormal rhythms and forcing you to sweat uncontrollably while experiencing serious anxiety and shakes!!!
Thinking of (the possible myth?) that phenomenon where you can ingest small doses of poison to build up an immunity over time, I'm convinced energy drinks are released by the government to build up our immunity to toxic bullshit because holy fuck I have never felt good during or after drinking one of those fucking things.
rant