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SQL is amazing.
I'll toss out some bassakwards query and the optimizer will make sense of it and suddenly I'm searching a amazonillian records in no time.
Then rando one day (today) I fire up what I think is really not the most wonky query I've ever written and ... "Well shit this is surprisingly slow."
So then I go full n00b and add some fields to the query that I know would limit the number of possible records to way low thinking that might help and ... nope no faster...
Guess it's time to bust open some books about SQL....
rant
sql