I’m going to fucking kill my boss.

He’s known about how I’ve been writing this fucking ticket (screwdriver followup) for four fucking weeks, and on the last fucking day (yesterday) he tells me it’s not the correct fucking architecture and to rewrite basically all of it using <unknown bullshit> instead, and that i must have it done by today — by this fucking morning — so it can make the release.

WHY THE FUCK DIDN’T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THIS AT ANY POINT IN THE LAST FUCKING MONTH WHILE YOU WERE BUSY NITPICKING MY FUCKING CODE YOU FUCKING CUNT?!

feelsbadman

You should stick a screwdriver through his neck

What??? He knew your design all this time and let you drag with it only to wait until the last minute to tell you it’s wrong. I think he’s trolling you, especially since you’re not getting an extension

Time for a new job!

Put a horse's head in his bed.

@d-fanelli “trolling”

Setting me up more like.

@Root exactly. It’s a little suspect that he did this close to your deadline

So what happens now? Do you work at a big company? Could take all this evidence and put it in front of HR?

Interesting. With a mallet? nice. To shreds you say? sounds about right.

Tell him with a deadpan face: then it won't be ready for the release then. Why? Mismangment, and hidden requirments. I suggest next time - you communicate better.

@neeno can we agree, that this would a be very messy solution for this case of an dumbshitfuck heretic..?

holy fuck, do you work with me?

it's like these assholes are unlimited chaos generators and they just flip on overdrive randomly throughout the year.

Get a room!

@rootofskynet yeah, but it would also be the most satisfying and somewhat ironic solution

@sheriffderek yea I know Root has reasons for staying in this job but IMO this crosses a line. This is making the dev the fall person for something that was doomed by management.

It is done.

@Root hehehe for now hehehe

Boss is an arsehole most of the time

@Root spite is a powerful motivator.

no words are more bittersweet to say than, "fuck you, I did it "

@Root Wait a minute.... Is that boss still... lets say: around? drawing breath?
What do you mean by "done"?

Boss be like...

Yell at him and tell him to get fucked

This fucking rant has around 9 fucking words in a fucking ro. I’m just kidding, bro get the coffee and enjoy your weekend. Cheers !!

Take what i does and shut your fucking mouths you peace of boss

Looks like I'm back at good time LUL
Missed seeing you ranting 🤣

@Thewebdev I’ve got another two rants waiting for when I’m pissed off enough again :) Three if I include the one I had written down but lost while I worked in Hell.

@Root haha keem em coming. Hope you been well. Missed this place.

Its time to switch job i think XD

fuck that noise, just quit

@rantsauce
"Put a horse's head in his bed."

A man of wealth and culture here.

@rutee07, @neeno

Remind me to send you complimentary screwdrivers for new years on the off chance
you ever decide to use them. What are friends for?

@d-fanelli
It's highly fucking suspect doing this this close to a deadline.

@magicMirror
You win for single most appropriate use of "to shreds you say" all year.

@sariel
Researchers think people on the "dark triad" spectrum are more pravelent than is commonly believed.
Like 5-15% of people may have psychopathic, sociopathic, or narcassistic *tendencies*.

@rant1ng
"Get a room!"

A rooms not gonna be sufficient to hide the body.

@Root "it is done."

The murder or the body burying? I meant to tell you before you disposed of the ruffian: Always make them dig *their own* grave.

@sariel "spite is a powerful motivator."

This man knows hatred. But spite in this case usually only motivates one response: "oh hey great, you did it once last minute, I'm sure you can do it again, and again, and again. You're such a great sport about it too!" lol.

@Root

A request not in writing, filed at the last minute, is essentially a request that never happened.

"But I told you to do it!"

The best response is either

"Must have slipped my mind what with the deadline."

or another fun one to throw back at em is

"You're acting crazy. You seem under a lot of stress lately. Maybe you should take some time off."

Pure gaslighting but its great when its used on people whos operate from bad faith.

@fullstackchris "fuck that noise, just quit"

One way of doing it. And explain to the supervisors manager exactly why you left. Betcha she or he starts looking at other people who walked out under that same supervisor.