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Being annoyed stems from your own insecurities about your lack of knowledge.
Although, annoyance is valid is if it’s knowledge followed by arrogance. -
Voxera113884yWhen the self esteem outweighs the knowledge, one should always be humble and respectful.
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bad-frog5464ya circle, me being the centerpoint, the radius being the length of my fully extended arm.
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Knowledgeable: provides help when asked, gives feedback when asked, and doesn't ask for anything in return
Annoying: provides help when not asked, relentlessly asks for feedback about their help while you're eating your lunch, thinks they deserve some form of praise for helping you -
@vicary Just say thanks and move on. If the person still comments, again, just say thanks and move on. Even if they get aggressive, always be polite. They'll get the message eventually.
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When you open your mouth.
My wife, my parents, siblings, friends... they ALL understand I am the best at computers, hands down. Not even close.
They: Have trouble remembering their iTunes password regularly.
I: Have made websites and apps for major car companies and government agencies.
Still, I wouldn't dare even start with any unsolicited advice. Instead watching them painfully stutter their way through securing a Google doc or logging into their iCloud account.
Basically, even when people ask for help they are often defensive... if they didn't ask they are guaranteed to be defensive... and this is among a pool of people who logically know that I know the answers to these problems... they WANT to struggle with it themselves. Let them. Don't steal their little boost of serotonin they get for solving something. -
@Kairpooph ill provide help to colleagues even if not asked, but they're free to follow through or not. imo its worse when you know of a better way of doing something and you just keep it to yourself.
delivery is key, though. -
It's hard to draw a line as these are subjective perceptions which can change in a split second.
E.g. some people don't like being helped, but if you explain them that you've just saved their arse from being fired they might become very friendly suddenly.
Better example:
It's annoying when I'm helping and / or trying stuff out with developers although I'm "more" DevOps / Management / Mum of all monsters. Some even say this directly. Sometimes I'm not really helpful as the problem either resolves on it's own or I'm missing too much insight.
Big but incoming: a lot of devs realize later they've only focussed on the problem itself, not the possible consequences of the bug fixes.
Eg. resource management, API changes and propagation, communication to the upper layer, communication to the users...
That's when they usually start being appreciative that I "invaded their territory"… as 5 mins of chat can spare them several hours of trying to debug stuff, contacting management / administration, trying to arrange meetings, communication... ;)
Where would you draw the line between knowledgeable and annoying?
question