I sent money to a scammer 😔
They said it is a security deposit and I didn't think twice. I thought I was smarter than this but clearly I am not.
I got too greedy, lazy and desperate for money.
This is what happens when you isolate yourself from reality.
I feel terrible. 😣

pain is the best teacher:)

@bad-frog Right, the one that you won't like to face again.

I'm sorry to hear that, was it much?

to cheer you up, watch some tele scammers getting their ass beaten.
https://youtube.com/c/JimBrowning

@vintprox i heard an interesting theory about that:

some scientists got to the conclusion that negative stimulus is stronger than positive because negative stimulus is more important in survival:
you wont die by eating delicious berries, but you will if you burn yourself-> its more important to remember not to get burned

@heyheni haha thank you! Equivalent of 25 USD. It is worse because I loaned that money from my sister 😓

@bad-frog that makes a lot of sense. Hmmm this making me wonder.. is it same as using negative reinforcement? 🤔

@Shilpa excellent question.
that indeed was the next step of the debate.

from what i remember the answer ended up being mostly no, and so we have non-stress education today.

but it isnt clear-cut as this debate still goes on, in carceral rehabilitation for example.

How long ago was that? It might still be possible to revert the payment.

@bad-frog Yeah. Don't want to tarnish the image of Indian families or perpetuate any stereotypes but a lot of other parents when I was growing up used this method, unlike my parents. I am starting to wonder if being easy on me or not using negative reinforcement is the reason for me being.. well, a failure and a disappointment (ouch, harsh 😅)I think about that a lot these days.

@Shilpa the issue is very nuanced, as usually things are with psychology.

its a matter of balance. and i mean balance in all things:

balance positive and negative reinforcement.
balance expectations and possible outcomes
and it all depends on the person.

some people thrive under brutal conditions, other would break.

also, the idea of failure is very relative.
the first question should be "a failure for who?"

if your parents expected you to become an astrophysicist, and you become a webdev thats a failure in their eyes, but plenty of people want to be webdev, so it would be a success for them.

and, more importantly, are you ok with what you're doing?

then if family pushes you forward so that you become the best you can, it is a good thing, but if that drive is based on the want for social credit through having illustrous offspring, it is something entirely else, something very selfish.

@Shilpa if you feel you dont live up to the familial loyalty standards, there are many ways you can express those. especially economically. especially in programming.

if you're based in india you can use the difference in costs of living to make a lot of money and help the community by offering IT services abroad. even if all you know is html and css.

@bad-frog You put it beautifully. I used those words because things are at a breaking point now. No work, no income, no education in the last 8 years, from my end. All I did was sit on my precious little tushie all day.

I am trying to be productive now.
In the process, made that mistake and lesson learned 😅 Quick and easy money is a myth.

@electrineer It was 2 days ago. So it is most definitely gone.

@Shilpa it was weekend so you never know

@electrineer 😲 I dont know how transactions work. I used Gpay, the amount was debited from my account. That means it is a done deal, right?

@Shilpa "Quick and easy money is a myth."
couldnt be more true. even when youre doing shady stuff. especially when youre doing shady stuff.

as for the lack of motivation i have a mental "trick". im extremely lazy, but this works with me:

identify your "wall of fire"- the proverbial place where "you dont want to be". its a wall of fire because like one, it slowly creeps up to you as you gain age and opportunities pass.

then start running away from it. and never stop.
but be careful, as if you chose wrong you will end up surrounded.

Argh that sucks! It can happen to the best of us. Hope you feel better soon!

Always question everything. I hope that $25 loss doesn't impact you too much!

dude this happened to me month ago.. I was dumbest giving them my OTP :( they have all my details I thought for cc it is genuine process. and see thosse motherfuckers still dare to call me

@bananaerror average monthly expenses in Hyderabad (India) is 26'000 rupees or $320. So 2000 rupees or $25 will probably hurt.

@rox79 Oh no, I feel your pain. Anyone asking for an upfront charge is most probably a scam.