YOU STUPID APPLICATION MANAGER STOP PROLONGING THIS MEETING FOR THE LOVE OF GOD this is a daily scrum not a status report you solid twat stop asking when something will be done when it hasn't even been worked on yet

Dev: "I'll start working on the thing today, might take a day or two to finish development"
Twat: "Will it be ready for testing tmorrow"
D: "Maybe by late tomorrow? If all goes well"
T: "So it'll be tested by tomorrow"
D: "Uhhhh wait"
T: "It'll be done by tomorrow"
D: "But"

GODDAMNIT MAN HE'LL TELL YOU TOMORROW IF IT'S DONE OR NOT AND IF IT CAN BE TESTED I want to punch you so hard in the face with a spiked mallet covered in wasp stingers and hello kitty juice to excacerbate your diabetes you filthy piece of excrement waiting to be smeared across the pavement with my boot

That's frustrating

If someone pushes for something NEVER commit by saying yes, not even alluding to it with ifs. If you commit then they get you by the neck.

Give vague answers like "I'll see what I can do.", or avoid the question altogether like "There are many things to consider when working on X."

I got year end feedback one time about how "my etas are always vague, and how I never give proper estimates." Rightfully so. 😤

wtf even is an application manager…

Our daily standup takes hours... Involves devs, BAs and POs.... I stopped joining

I think it’s deliberate buddy. He’s trying to press you until you say what he wants to hear. Then in his eyes you have committed & will be held to it.
You got to push back.

Some managers love to hold you to account for their decisions, rather than themselves

Guy at work is having a hard time & I’ve been trying to help him. I had a realisation today that he’s actually trying to complete the work in the sprint, so he’s stressed, not running his code before he delivers it, not unit testing, missing requirements etc. He didn’t used to be like this

Normally trying to finish a sprint is what you would expect but the difference here is that these stories are assigned to him by the manager in ‘sprint planning’.
He probably has about 5 weeks worth of work assigned to him in this sprint.

Meanwhile that shit stopped with me a loooong time ago. I get stories assigned to me too and do them as fast as I can, but they will be done right first time without working extra hours to meet fictional deadlines someone else commits me to. Hopefully they get done in sprint, but if not …. 🤷

"It seems silly to estimate how long a task with so many unknowns is - but if you really want me to come up with a figure now, let's say [half the time you know it'll take at a minimum]"

You've low-key called them a jobsworth, and put the onus on them, so that when your estimate turns out to be totally wrong, it's because they pressed you for one.

In my experience, PMs are often getting dicked from above in turn and a lot of the nonsense metrics are being demanded from, not by, them. But, you know, human shield is part of the job description.

@MM83 yeah our that definitely happens where I work

It's All about the initial estimation.
Say you have a feature that take 3 days to develop and test ,as you said if all goes well this is how we developers will estimate it . Well this is Wrong!
You need always to add 1 day (33%) to work around for the rainy day scenerio.
Worst case you will surprise for the better/ have some more time to additional testing.