It's too many features for me to keep up with. And the client just bounces between this matrix of all the possible permutations of them, refusing to admit that he is asking for mutually exclusive behavior in more than one place. I have mentioned to him at least 12 times a year that there is too much going on, not organized, we need to simplify, prioritize, or we will have 100 half baked untested features.

Of course it is more or less made it out to be that this is all my fault, or at least it's hard not to feel that way when I say:

It will be a long time before X will be working, we need 25 other things first.;

Next day he asks:
Have you made any progress on X;

I reply: Now we need 24 things to be done at this rate it will be a month.;

He replies:
Ok but I need this yesterday. How about if you add a new feature Y that does everything X does without those 24 things?;

I reply: That will not work at all like X. Y is just X + 1 more feature.

He replies: Ok well I need Y so when you're done with X I need a way to do it like Y also. I just thought it'd be easier.

EASIER TO ADD MORE FUCKING FEATURES YEAH SURE THATS EASY AS FUCK YOU FUCK FUCK FUCK. He's a nice enough guy, pretty smart compared to my first few paying gigs, but wtf really? How do I come out and tell you I need 25 days and you ADD more work? This was one example.

IN TWO days he has added 12 features. And during the week has asked for 29 UI interfaces to be COMPLETELY different. This is becoming COMMONPLACE. Every week there is either a huge change, or a conversation like about that finds its way into the entire business flow inside an dout.

The worst thing is: I TOTALLY understand what he needs. I feel that HE doesn't. This weekend I spent literally HALF of his retainer on getting equipment into my hands to bring it back to find out it DOESNT WORK. Why aisn't HE doing this so I can finish the features from NOVEMBER that HE NEEDS in order to PROCESS SALES.

I've tried and tried but I just can't get through to this client what a tremendous waste of time his \"process\" is, for lack of a better word. Constant changes, contsant additions, lack of clarity, needless repetition and contradictions, constantly adding moonshot ideas to compete with every industry in the region, and not beta testing anything until something goes wrong.

Fuck this guy! His business is failing and I felt responsible for the longest time but it is clear to me that if I wanted to save his business I would have to ignore 95% of his feature requests. I ignore 50% now because of the stress in trying to determine which of the 3 different paradigms he is talking about changing. I will lose this client, and I feel like he will sue me to get all of his money back. He holds me to very little honestly - BUT WEEKLY reminds me that he won't be able to pay me next month if feature XY and Z arent ready!

If a developer is CLEARLY overwhelmed, it makes NO sense at all to continue to PILE ON feature after feature
while true:
rant+=", after feature"
except DevHeadExplodes as inevitable:
raise YourDevsRatesOrLookElsewhere(inevitable)

  • 2
    I've worked for a few small companies where instead of getting product to market they have kept wanting it to be perfect before launch. There were months where I went to work on a Monday and came home 4 weeks later to try and get features added so we could get to market.

    Now I work 8-4.30 and finish at 3.15 on a Friday. Life is too short to work for these kinds of people.
  • 1
    P.s. Epic rant!!!!!
  • 0
    @philcr thank you.

    I can't stand working a 9 to 5 but it certainly had its perks! Life is too short which is why i got it all out on dev rant :) one day I'll have a crew to deal with all these stupid things. So o tell myself lol
  • 3
    Document system requirements and have him sign it. you'll lose all your hairs trying to adapt to his whims. Systems should have their limitations clearly defined. Wahhh my head hurts just by reading your rant.
    More power!
  • 0
    @yzhea he "doesn't have time for that just listen"

    Trust me tried. That's only way i know he's so all over the place. I would quit if it wouldn't make me starve
  • 3
    @plumbus maybe you can record your conversations? at least you'll have a copy of your meetings and he can't sue you for doing things as agreed.
    hope you'll find a reasonable client in the future. :)
  • 0
    @yzhea I've come to terms with this guy suing me and me losing everything eventually honestly. Possession is am illusion anyway, and the good die young.
  • 3
    @plumbus that's so deep. Made me smile. :)
    But sometimes we only find comfort in our illusions.
    Have a nice day sir!
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