Fuck all of this. I wanna move to The Shire.

Don't fucking mention New Zealand.

First get tribal tattoos. Then eat the flesh of your enemies to absorb their power.

Finally become a wizard.

Or an incredibly short man.

You are a wizard, Harry

In Italy a guy actually bought some land and started building his own Shire

I hear they have an open position for a security advisor.

@rov3rand0m

That kind of thing always starts innocent, but before you know it you are paying $500 for a hobbit level 12 psychological audit, the head hobbit holds anti-capitalism seminars, proceeds to rape all the lower level hobbits in the name of "free love", and it ends with poisoned bowls of fruit punch when the authorities knock on the little hobbit holes.

@bittersweet ...wha

@lbfalvy

I've grown cynical because the world is no Shire, and anytime someone tries to found some kind of happy peaceful utopia, it always quickly devolves into some kind of financial extortion or rape cult.

@bittersweet

I heard theres one in russia thats actually pretty cool and chill. Everyone seems happy, and welcoming, and one big happy family.

I mean thats sort of what cults present themselves as though.

They seem pretty real though.

However the arranged marriages are mucho weird.

@bittersweet delightful.

@bittersweet dunno about you but founding a cult like that sounds like an interesting pastime…

@100110111

Yeah just gotta make sure that you stay supreme grand hobbit for life.

Just like with any position of power you need to rule through a doctrine of fear, feeding insecurities, gaslighting those with rebellious minds. Provide slivers of hope, while blaming the elves for anything that goes wrong.

Those fucking elves are stealing our tea, I tell you. They also created covid, and the vaccine contains mithril, poisoning our hobbit children!