Doing e-learning for a job

One of the examples provided:
"You could be late for work (fail to meet your objective of being on time) because you're hit by a car whilst crossing the road"

Are you fucking kidding me, I think being late to work would be the least of my worries. Fuck corporate bullshit.

  • 6
    Wow! So if you end up with a crushed pelvis, 10 broken ribs, and a concussion after getting hit by an suv, call and ambulance and ask them to cart you to your office and find a way to HIT THAT DEADLINE while strapped to a bed at your desk (wrapped like a mummy with an oxygen tube)
  • 3
    Still hate all that corporate bullshit. They think everything we do is for the good of the company. While the executives are sitting cozy reaping the rewards.
  • 3
    OMG. Are you in America? Here that's called an "I'm in hospital fuck off" day.
  • 2
  • 2
    @hamolicious 🤔 snap...

    Fuck those people.
  • 4
    A company who has an objective to be on time for work is a company that I would avoid like the plague. I'm in the UK as well and my company works to "as long as you deliver on time".
  • 2
    Reminds me of the time I got hit by a car when cycling to a meeting, got the car driver to give me a lift, and was only 10 minutes late.

    The only time I had ever been late, and yet in my record they put something like:

    "Didn't take the task seriously, was late for a meeting, displayed lack of commitment."

    I went to every single stupid meeting they told me to attend, I was pro-active, and it was them that eventually wanted to end the meetings, when I kept saying we should continue to have them !

    That and the day I was late for school, really puts me off trying to get to anywhere on time..
  • 3
    Day I was late for school once, the bus was pulling away and I'd just got off another bus to catch that one, so I jumped on whilst it was moving.

    Bus driver was having none of that, so pushed me off !

    School was at the bottom of a tall hill.

    So I ran down the hill for 25 minutes, was 1 minute late.

    Got in just as much trouble as others who was an hour late !

    So... next time, no running down that hill !
  • 1
    "... What would be the preferred course of action?

    [ ] Work through the pain
    [ ] Leave a message for the morning standup
    [ ] Make up the hours later
    [X] Go to hospital
    [ ] Tell work to suck one of your balls
    [X] Tell work to suck ALL of your balls
    [ ] Other (please explain below)"
  • 1
    Although, I've shown up to work on Monday with an untreated badly sprained ankle following a weekend away, because my travel arrangements were such that I didn't go home in between.
  • 1

    I'm reminded of one place I worked, one guy was late every day, went to first break early, came back late, went to lunch early, came back late, went to second break early, came back late, and always had a reason why he had to leave work early due to traffic issues/etc.

    So was only there half the time anyhow !

    Of which he actually worked half of that time..

    I wouldn't want to work in a place filled with folk like that !

    Oh wait, that is one of the reasons why I resigned. :-)

    When I was manager, I really needed everyone to start work on time, since it was something like a coal mine..

    But I let everyone go home half an hour early if all the work was done. ( Or an hour if all the work was done earlier ! )
  • 2
    @Nanos did he get all of his work done in the time that he was in the office? If not, then he's not delivering so should be fired but if he did get it all done, then he wasn't given enough to do to fill more time.
  • 1


    The rest of us had to do his work to keep production running.

    It was the kind of place, where getting sacked, was really difficult !

    One guy, sacked for being lazy, the place was forced to take him back again by the authorities !

    I once took a month off due to sickness, before anyone noticed I wasn't there !

    And, as mentioned before, a year after I had left, I got a letter saying my attendance had been poor the last year..

    So, obviously no words for worst than poor then. :-)
  • 1
    Curious: what was the context?

    Was it about "if possible please notify us ASAP if you've had an accident" or something else
  • 1
    So was only there half the time anyhow !
  • 3
    @Nanos if there’s one thing school taught me, if you’re gonna be late, might as well be hella late and get some breakfast or something
  • 0
    @jiraTicket meeting goals and managing risks of I recall correctly :/
  • -1
    You can start earning money on the Internet without training. There is such a service https://2captcha.com/ for decoding captcha. Many people like this part-time job, because the only investment is time and the more it is, the more earnings. For those who are looking for additional ways of income - this is an ideal option!
Add Comment