71
LeMeow
7y

5 Types Of Programmers

1.The duct tape programmer
The code may not be pretty, but damnit, it works!
This guy is the foundation of your company. When something goes wrong he will fix it fast and in a way that won’t break again. Of course he doesn’t care about how it looks, ease of use, or any of those other trivial concerns, but he will make it happen, without a bunch of talk or time-wasting nonsense. The best way to use this person is to point at a problem and walk away.

2.The OCD perfectionist programmer
You want to do what to my code?
This guy doesn’t care about your deadlines or budgets, those are insignificant when compared to the art form that is programming. When you do finally receive the finished product you will have no option but submit to the stunning glory and radiant beauty of perfectly formatted, no, perfectly beautiful code, that is so efficient that anything you would want to do to it would do nothing but defame a masterpiece. He is the only one qualified to work on his code.

3.The anti-programming programmer
I’m a programmer, damnit. I don’t write code.
His world has one simple truth; writing code is bad. If you have to write something then you’re doing it wrong. Someone else has already done the work so just use their code. He will tell you how much faster this development practice is, even though he takes as long or longer than the other programmers. But when you get the project it will only be 20 lines of actual code and will be very easy to read. It may not be very fast, efficient, or forward-compatible, but it will be done with the least effort required.

4.The half-assed programmer
What do you want? It works doesn’t it?
The guy who couldn’t care less about quality, that’s someone elses job. He accomplishes the tasks that he’s asked to do, quickly. You may not like his work, the other programmers hate it, but management and the clients love it. As much pain as he will cause you in the future, he is single-handedly keeping your deadlines so you can’t scoff at it (no matter how much you want to).

5.The theoretical programmer
Well, that’s a possibility, but in practice this might be a better alternative.
This guy is more interested the options than what should be done. He will spend 80% of his time staring blankly at his computer thinking up ways to accomplish a task, 15% of his time complaining about unreasonable deadlines, 4% of his time refining the options, and 1% of his time writing code. When you receive the final work it will always be accompanied by the phrase “if I had more time I could have done this the right way”.

What type of programmer are you?

Source: www.stevebenner.com

Comments
  • 1
    Maybe 1? I can't really decide.
  • 4
    a mix of 1 and 2 , depending entierly on the clients need.

    Leaning towards 1 if they need to be fast to market.
    and 2 if they have established themselves and need to start cutting development / maintainance costs.

    For personal projects i'm definitely 2 even though i know i should try to force myself towards 1 there to get things done.
  • 5
    It'd have to be 2. Although I wouldn't say I'm that bad that I'm slow, but I am a formatting, readability and semantics Nazi and I will pipe up if I see something I don't like. I am a perfectionist, have always been that way with whatever I do and I'd always push for long term stability and scalability over short term patchwork and corner cutting to meet deadlines. I am not motivated by money or by someone elses shit ideas and so I'm mainly driven by improving my skills and understandings in order to better implement robust code that is simple and not over engineered.
  • 0
    This site does not exist.
  • 1
    @Gatgeagent Sorry.

    Edit:
    Source: www.stevenbenner.com
  • 4
    Mix of 2 and 5 and currently rewriting #4s code.

    FUCK #4. SERIOUSLY!!!
  • 4
    When it's personal I try to be a #2 but when the client wants fast results with minimum costs and doesn't listen when I say he needs a total refact because everything is based on a single shitty 5000+ lines controller for the backend part and total ignorence of the framework architecture or good practices or even security , i'm like a total #1---

    Also, hi I'm new o/
  • 0
    @mgnrfk welcome to devRant then :)
  • 1
    I'm a mix of 2 & 5 as well trying to figure out how the hell #1s code works and avoiding becoming a 4.
  • 1
    I'm mostly a #1 with a smidge of #5. For the most part, I get it done and will only ask questions about what you want the code to do. I also reuse portions of my old code constantly. Why do the same work more than once?
  • 0
    Fck 5 :/
    think i should change...
  • 0
    @AptFox I'm the same, reuse that shit. Proud to be a #1 - if my code is in your project best believe it's been deployed 3/4 times previous and has been tested and refined in production. Virgin code is a liability.
  • 0
    80%2
    20%1

    I debug all the code from my co students
  • 1
    3 is not a programmer, maybe not even developer. Rather a "software engineer"
  • 0
    Number 1 all the way, no question. I spend far too much time in vim on the server to be anything else.
  • 0
    2 when I like the project, otherwise 1, 3 or 4
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