I’m not suicidal. But It’s scary how much I envy people I know who recently died. They have zero problems. No need to look for a job, like I have to right now. No sense of fear or anxiety about screwing up relationships. No worry about health or wealth or any of that. Just done. Like I said, I’m not suicidal. Too scared to hurt myself and too afraid that on the other side I would regret it (yes, i happen to actually know it’s not just blackness and non-existence). But if I got hit by a bus tomorrow, I wouldn’t complain.

Cats don't have much to worry about either and there is... a market for... catboys...

Other side?

I never really understood people that think this way (I have a couple of friends diagnosed with depression so I'm familiar with the line of thinking)

Whenever I feel like that, like death would be the ultimate solution, my mind immediately starts abstracting up and looking at things outside of the box. I start to realize how many amazing things and people there still are that I want to do and meet. I realize how barely working our society is but at the same time how it holds together and actually works despite everything being a balancing act. My lifetime goal is to leave this place at least a little better than I found it and to also enjoy what it has to offer while I can. Death sounds like such a boring end to my life (earthly life if you're into that, but I'm not).

whether there is something beyond or not, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity (literally lol) and I like having it

@Hazarth well, you can't start with refactoring all of the monolith in a single day, so why don't you try dedicating all of your efforts to one person? (excluding yourself, always care about yourself)

That way,
1. You can get experience in making things better while not failing catastrophically.
a. Also, even the smallest improvements will make you happier, believe me.
2. Practice on the experience, be faster and better on doing things.
3. Apply for Junior World Care position at universe.god.co
4. Hopefully make things better and not go drunk with power
5. Transcend
6. ???
7. Profit!

In all seriousness, focusing all of your energy is the best thing you can do, I also was suffering /bad realism thoughts/, caring about someone else and getting care in return just happened to be the cure.

Oh, protip: Hugs! Really, they are more formal than a kiss, more comforting than a handshake. The best in-between caring you can have!

I'll dedicate my last characters to think about hugs: hehehe

@Hazarth all the "amazing things" are meaningless and mostly useless and just distract you from the thoughts instead of giving anything of substance

@trophallaxis what if you don't fear death but the agony?

@melezorus34

@iiii

What are you lot even talking about. I'm being positive and happy and tell OP to have an outlook on life and ya'll try to "correct" me? Fuck that noise xD ya'll dumb

@Hazarth yes. Me dumb

@Hazarth actually mine is a mis-mention. I meant to mention the op

Either you are terribly stupid or youthful.

Really, that kind of thought cannot come from any other different source

@melezorus34 HA! I knew it, just wasn't sure once iiii responded as well xD