How Real programmers code :

Pfff real programmers use a puppy and have it chase a frisbee where the frisbee hits a flower disrupting a bees honey sucking so it goes home to beat it's wife which again the wife bee gets pissed off and stings my dumb client who mashes some buttons on a keyboard by mistake whilst using my software which fucks up my program and I have to tell him that my program is fine and if he didn't try walking in the garden holding his laptop because of his poor WiFi connection then all of this wouldn't've happened.