When you have sextuply-nested sub queries, can we at least acknowledge the POSSIBILITY that there MIGHT be a better way??

SQL is the only way. Embrace it. Just kidding, there is always PL/SQL. Or DB views. Or just giving up 😢😢😢

On the other hand, there are a lot of folks who don't know how to write good SQL. I deal with it all of the time.

But, I bet that pulling data back into your application and modifying it with LINQ or whatever will be exponentially slower.