"We offer competitive salaries!"

Competitive as compared to what? The bottom 10% of salaries in this field? The top 10%?

I could say that I'm a competitive chess player when I'm competing against somebody who's never played chess before.

Your salary will compete with your bills

Translation: we don't want to say anything about salary in our vacancy.

Competitive salary =
A) We'll make as low an offer as we think we can get away with once we have some hopefully desperate applicants.
B) We'll actually give you a decent salary at first but our raises won't even beat inflation so it'll be shit soon enough and we don't want our existing employees to know what we offer new people.

I'll just ask for the salary range, benefits, etc up front (before applying) and ghost them if it's too low.

Your name is certainly competitive in being one of the funniest on here