0
jassole
350d

Big talk to all bros, in a conflict situation, say for example in relationship, sometimes when arguing with significant other, you need to be a bigger person and calm it down when the conflict turns out counterproductive regardless of how much pain you feel or your emotional demands not being met.

As man you have to, no other choice.

A small conflict however are healthy for both to grow the relationship.

Comments
  • 1
    yeah, also hind sight is 20/20. Usually after an argument we can re-evaluate both of our statements and then usually one of the person apologizes. Though I's also good to be aware of your own mood and bias before an argument even starts, because then you can most likely avoid the argument completely. Communication is key and if you're stressed, or you sense your SO is stressed, it usually pays off to bring it up and talk about it a bit, which then avoid a lot of the unproductive and pointless arguments.
  • 3
    yeah, either way my gf doesn't listen to logical arguments... I'm not even allowed to laugh about anything when she enters the rage mode, and mind you she is able to switch in seconds. One moment we have fun, and the next I know he remembers something and just starts to rant about it ( no matter if I am involved in any way ) and I have to just listen... throughout the yrs figured is the fastest way to end it...
  • 2
    @We3D sounds like bit of a cautious red flag. Ideally you'd want to have small conflicts and want to course correct over time. If it is just one party taking all the blame, a big bottled-up conflict might come in the future....

    Would tread carefully.
  • 1
    @jassole tell me something I don't know... her bipolarity combined with short memory loss is a real drag some times... but she is a nice person... just with a bit strange perceptions of the world... but hey how many can really say what's goin on... I had a lot of fun with her, plus she saved my ass so many times... but again, I'm not with her because of guilt or anything like that. I really like her ( and her twin sister 4 that matters )... and I'm prepared that it can eventually end at some point ( that's why I've already started a backup list ;} )
  • 2
    @We3D I used to have something similar going on. It had the toughest toll on me years ago mentally.

    Her worldview was turning increasingly warped. She'd think she was doing more favour despite putting 1/10 effort I did in the relationship. Even asking to catch-up, she'd say that will add a lot of pressure on her.

    I had to confront her about the status of the relationship because it was getting bit too much. There were periods/months/weeks where she was simply unavailable even for texting.

    Eventually she took the cowards way out and proceeded to ghost me. We haven't spoken since then.

    I was wrong at that time to keep putting her on a pedestal she never deserved. Should have realized that when she didn't have much respect. I let it go on for bit longer because I was confused too.

    Despite that she was nice when we actually met, but sometimes you just gotta let her go, you'd be doing her favour too

    Now I look back, she was flawed, imperfect and immature....
  • 2
    @jassole sad to read that, but my situation is bit diff. she is just that bossy type ( got it from her mother ) and when not somewhere out for new adventures we are more or less constantly together. And I started dating her mainly b/c her "I know everything" attitude ( and a bit because she is a free spirit like me... and I thought here the PurrEm starts to grow... but then she got obsessed with me... long story... )
  • 1
    @We3D No probs. Mine started out like a blossom after her teens, I guess she became more like her mother prejudgemental, and ugly inside and out. xD
  • 1
    @We3D I'm sure I'm on top of the backup list
  • 1
    @retoor but why, ofc. sweetheart =]

    * rubs your back *
  • 2
    @We3D * also rubs something *
  • 3
    @We3D sounds a bit like my mother... I'm sure my dad would recommend you to get out while you can
Add Comment