34
NoMad
291d

1. Bullshit coding challenges that you wouldn't be any good at unless you were doing the same stuff like yesterday. For an entry level job.

2. Stupid tech leads, who can't see people smarter than them so they bring you down in an interview to feel better about themselves. They'll ask you stuff they know is outside of your scope. Mine often ends up being about networking.

3. Stupid HR questions, that basically ask you to ass-kiss the company.

4. When you're actually better than the interviewer at just about anything, including maths, so you have to tiptoe around their ego and not call them out on being slow.

5. When they don't even give you a chance. You enter the interview and by question 3 you know they're gonna reject you and you never had a chance to begin with, so internally you start screaming for the money you spent on the new coat to impress these fuckers.

6. Salary negotiation when you're broke and you'll work for anything that covers your bills and food, basically.

7. Explaining the gaps in resume or radical changes. Like why I was a barista for six months after six months of being out of work.

Comments
  • 13
    - Can you explain this one year gap?
    - I was on vacation 😎
  • 0
    @Nanos where the f can you be where they are actually changing out chips? This can't be a store. Is it a manufacturer?
  • 2
    #5 sounds like the candidate is selected already, but X more interviews must happen for HR procedures sake
  • 0
    @qwwerty if they'd tell me that, I'd still go there and use the opportunity for feedback. At least I wouldn't have the emotional damage then.
  • 2
    @qwwerty tho, to be fair, sometimes it was because they wanted a guy. A girl wouldn't fit their "gym bro" environment. 😒
  • 5
    > 1. Bullshit coding challenges [...]

    Be arrogant, refuse to do it and if they insist:

    import('library').method(input); print("don't reinvent a wheel");

    > 2. [...] They'll ask you stuff they know is outside of your scope. [...]

    "Why would I know that? You looking for a dev or an admin?"

    > 3. [...] ask you to ass-kiss the company.

    "You pay me enough, I'll work for you. I don't have to know what you do."

    > 4. [...] you have to tiptoe around their ego [...]

    "What's the bonus for training my colleagues?"

    > 5. When they don't even give you a chance.

    Go in jeans and old hoodie. Schedule 5 interviews a day. You're the one interviewing them.

    > 6. Salary negotiation when you're broke [...]

    "I can work 1st month for X, then I want you to rise it to 2X and to 3X after 6 months." It really is *your* market.

    > 7. Explaining the gaps in resume [...]

    "I had the money and I felt like it. You should try it, you seem burned out."
  • 5
    > 8. [...] "gym bro" environment.

    "You scared of a girl? Do you even lift? Can I bring my xbox to fuck you up in MK4?"
  • 0
    Actually, I just thought about a way better answer for the gap question.

    > 7. Explaining the gaps in resume [...]

    "Can't talk about it, I signed an NDA."
  • 0
    @Nanos I really don't have to know what they do because... 1st of all, I most likely won't have anything to do with their core business processes and will be building a microservice using external API or optimising db queries or maintaining some legacy code that serves a user panel, i.e. forms and buttons that call external shit anyway. 2nd, I know the tech they use so whatever they need to use it for I can adapt and researching their domain in advance is a waste of time - will I even use DDD principles? I doubt it. Most jobs out there don't. Most jobs out there are repetitive, uninventive, consist of moving well known programming patterns around and glueing them together to get data from point A to point B.
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